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Official Book Club Selection - A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin

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A Conversation with Kathy Griffin:
Q: State your name and profession.
KG: My name is Kathy Griffin, and I am a teller of d**k jokes. And a plumber.
Q: This is your first book. Had you ever considered writing anything before? A novel? Or a work of historical scholarship? Or a children's story?
KG: I had not considered it, because I'd always been told by the nuns at St. Bernadine's that my cursive was poor. A children' s story is an interesting idea. How's this for a title: "Waterboarding Pre-Teens: The Debate is Back On." I have a political side as well.
Q: You seem fairly obsessed with Oprah. Is this something you'll ever outgrow?
KG: I will never outgrow my obsession with Oprah. Just as she will never outgrow her cardigan sweaters. Oops, she already has. Now look, that sounds like a dig, but it's not. It's called a struggle, and I'm on it with her. I support her. (Not as much as she needs those underwire bras to support her, because she's got some serious ropes and pulleys going on there.) The point is, I worship her, and fear her at the same time. And believe me, that' s how she wants it. Don't be fooled.
Q: Did I miss something? Where's Celine Dion in this book?
KG: I didn't write about Celine Dion, only because of my fear of her husband Rene Angelil. I have an unfounded but constant fear that he could be in the French-Canadian mafia. Or have French-Canadian mafia ties, and by ties I don't mean les cravats. And I fear that I may be abducted, whisked away and held prisoner at a charming little brasserie in Montreal, forced to eat multiple Croque Monsieur sandwiches until I confess to knowing the lyrics to every single one of her songs.
Q: What do you think gays should take away from reading this book?
KG: I think the gays should be happy with this book. It talks a lot about being who you are, and I certainly mention a lot of gay people. I would say it definitely has strong gay themes, and the gay community should know that frankly it has been a moral struggle for me to even acknowledge the heterosexua
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