The Jabarie Brown Podcast
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Episode 129 - That is so Fitch.
Good News! It's Brown's Brews this week on the JBP and the Pope is in the house! (well...OUR Pope anyway). The gang starts this week's show by welcoming Dave back for our special Cider edition of the BROWN'S BREWS CHALLENGE (challenge) and Mr. Russell Silber tags along for the ride! This week's first segment is all about the recent statements made by Abercrombie and Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries regarding providing plus sizes for women and the social medium storm that ensued. After the jump it's...
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Episode 128 - Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!!! Yes, the time has come once again for the JBP nation to pay homage to all you wonderful baby making ladies out there! We open the show this week with Joe's Mother's Day surprise and the ensuing shenanigans (it just wouldn't be Mother's Day without a few fire trucks). The crew then discusses the legal issues Kobe Bryant is facing with his mother, Pamela Bryant, and some childhood memorabilia she would like to sell. After the break we talk about all those sexy...
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Episode 127 - Taco Flavored Kisses
Happy Cinco De Mayo Everyone! This week the JBP continues their voyage but with one less crew member (no worries, we don't remember his name either). We talk a bit about Jason Collins and the announcement that has made himthe first openly gay active athlete in America. We also discuss the recent discovery of human remains that were excavated from Jamestown that might imply some cannibilistic survival tendencies of our nations first permanent settlers. After the jump its all fun and games...
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Episode 126 - The Jabarie Brown Podcast's One-Third Life...
The JBP bids a fond farewell to Michael for a few months as he goes off to travel the world.The crew thentakes guesses to whether he is going to come back married or dead. Why not both?A child dies of pneumonia after the parents refuse to give him medical attention. Instead they rely solely on prayer, thus stretching the boundaries of the 1st Amendment to the Constitution. After the break, a couple of people say naughty words resulting in varying consequences. No... Panda wasn't one of them.
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Episode 125 - Why Did the Squirrel Cross the Road?
The JBP begins this episode talking about dreams. Which is a pretty harmless topic, unless you're a squirrel. Next is the media coverage on the Boston Marathon bombings, and the consequences ofmajormedia outlets who continue to report inaccurate information. Anonymous alters their own facebook page in order to make it look like they hacked the Westboro Bapist Church. Hopefully, the JBP is notnext in line. In the explicit segment, a Georgia High School is having their first integrated prom...
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Episode 124 - Jabarie Brown Podcast: The Clone Wars
Today, the JBP finds out that Michael will be taking a hiatus from the show for a few months so he can travel the world. (In case you were wondering, SeaWorld is not on his destination list.) The topic of North Korea is brought up after missing it last week. We discuss why North Korea's threats aren't taken as seriously as threats from other countries. Then its all about Neanderthal cloning. (Where we discover that Panda is a raging anti-Neanderthalite.) In the explicit segment Panda tries...
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Episode 123 - A Podcast of Brotherly Love.
The JBP gives Jabarie a birthday surprise by inviting some out of town guests which leaves him speechless for perhaps the first time ever. Joe plays an April fools joke on the gang, and Michael and Jabarie fall for it. Panda and Michael recent string of agreeing with each other ends when discussing Brittney Greiner NBA prospects. Do you think she has a chance of making the NBA? The owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban says he would be willing to give her a shot. That discussion goes so...
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Episode 122 - The Jabarie Brown Podcast's Superhero...
Happy Easter and Passover everyone! As Michael tries to get through the episode without dying, Jabarie pontificates about the prospects of traveling into space. Meanwhile, Joe laments the fact that a man accused of murder, Oscar Pistorius, gets to travel abroad during his murder trial. Jabarie wants to know whether the financial crisis is a sign that the world will eventually become one globally governed body. Spoiler alert... no. One of our favorite dirty topics makes an appearance in the...
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Episode 121 - The Deep Impact of an Armageddon
The JBP welcomes back both the Panda and Michael with glee and fanfare. A new fund-raising strategy is discussed that involves putting money into a jar whenever something inappropriate is said. (Take a wild guess who is the first offender) We find out that the movie Armageddon 's strategy to stop an incoming asteroid from destroying the earth has a better contingency plan than anything the U.S. Government currently has, which is pretty much nothing. Panda discusses being twitter famous......
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Episode 120 - Luck of the Jabarie Brown Podcast
Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!!! Joe's favorite holiday is upon us (and the gang celebrates it in style)! The bubbly is flowing...and Michael is nowhere to be found, but neither are the sex starved Ukranian dolphins that escaped into the black sea armed and looking for love (yeah, you heard me. Just wait until the explicit segment). The guys talk drunken holiday shenanigans, the new pope, and girls on the gridiron with their guest Dave Winfield. After the break the guys talk sexual...
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Episode 119 - The Jabarie Brown Podcast Hasn't Seen That
The JBP welcomes Matt Killmon, one of the hosts of the podcast "Matt Hasn't Seen That." Matt hasn't seen many movies. Joe has seen many movies. You can see where this conversation is headed. Joe and Michael then reveal what houses they got sorted into at Hogwarts. Turns out Joe is not a muggle. We briefly discuss a new hybrid car that gets 267 miles to the gallon before talking about a man who was put in solitary confinement for 15 years without a trial. In the explicit segment we talk...
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Episode 118 - Which is just Episode 117.5 Rounded Up
More Harry Potter talk, as JB finally gets sorted into a house. Will it be Slytherin or is there an upset in the making? Next we debate changing the name of the Washington Redskins to something less offensive. How about the Washington PotatoSkins? Our next topic we talk about how a school decided it won't allow a 6 year old transchild to use the girl's restroom. After that it is Brown's Brews, will one of the JBP members finally win? Tune in to find out!
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Episode 117 - And the Oscar for Best Podcast Goes To...
The Jabarie Brown Podcast welcomes back JB after a brief hiatus, and we couldn't be happier to have him back. Joe takes a trip to Florida sans the beach. No, that's not a typo. Jabarie learns about NASCAR from his uncle, which that alone should be enough of a teaser. Russell drops in again and we talk about the Oscars. In a surprise twist, JB knows less about the Oscars than NASCAR, which infuriates Joe.
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Episode 116 - My Bloody Valentine
While Jabarie and Joe are away Michael continues to steer the ship with a little help from the past. Our original producer Russell stops by to plug some holes in the deck and talk a bit about his experiences in the local theatre scene. Panda has a visit from something she thought was in the past as well, and she's not thrilled about it. We talk a little bit about our valentine's day experiences and then wrap up with a discussion on how we hope to make better decisions this year by changing...
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Episode 115 - The State of the Jabarie Brown Podcast
Jabarie is absent for only the second time ever as Michael gets to play caption of the ship, which leads to some of his better malapropisms. We celebrate President's Day a week early as Joe and Panda debate the top five presidents ever, while Michael tries to remember five presidents total. Next we debate an article claiming that women comedians make themselves look ugly in order to be funny, we also discuss whether male comedians do that same thing. Lastly, we discuss the affects of gays...
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Episode 114 - Bangin' with the Jabarie Brown Podcast
Jabarie compliments Michael on his hair, which of course leads to more racist comments. Joe's mom wishes him a happy birthday, but won't drive an extra 15 minutes to do it in person. A waitress gets fired for posting a receipt on reddit of a costumer who low-balled on the tip. In the explicit segment, Joe and Jabarie are in favor of the new Facebook application that shows which Facebook friends are willing to have sex with you called 'Bang with Friends', while Michael has his reservations.
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Episode 113 - The Wonderful World of The Jabarie Brown...
After a brief hiatus we're back! Michael has performance issues after getting walked in on, but not in the way you're thinking. Lance Armstrong tries to convince the world he is sorry about doping, with marginal success. Despite a threat of a nuclear attack, JB decides to give the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, a new nickname. After they break we talk about Disney stereotypes, where Panda tries to one-up Michael with a Disney character that she would been interested in dating. When...
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Episode 112 - The Legend of the Jabarie Brown Podcast
The JBP welcomes back frequent guest Chad Schwartz, who gotto play at MAGfest (A music and video game festival), which somehow accomplishes the feat of being amazingly cool and nerdy at the same time. We stick with video game topics as a town in Connecticut holds a drive to collect and destroy violent video games. Also, a father hires a digital assassin to kill his son's character in his favorite gamebecause apparently he is really lazy. In the explicit segment we chose fruit beers forthe...
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Episode 111 - Baby Mama Drama
The crew rings in the New Year by talking about how they each spent their New Years Eve. Once again Panda wins with the best story, even though she only made it to the 10th floor... slacker. Jabarie is spending 2013 much like he spent 2012, with more car troubles. The next topic is how a Kansas sperm donor for a lesbian couple faces a child support suit from the state. If you can understand that last sentence then you have better reading comprehension skills than Michael. The explicit...
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Episode 110 - Resolutions and Realities
Happy New Year everyone! The gang goes over an article about common mistakes people make when creating their New Year resolutions. Then they promptly ignore these recommendations when coming up with their own. After the break,an article about harsh truth that will make you a better person is discussed, and Joe figures out why Michael and JB disagree on so many things.
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Episode 109 - A Jabarie Brown Podcast Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone! Jabarie starts things off by making a declaration about some of his favorite cartoons, and of course Michael disagrees vehemently. Then we discuss the ramifications of Instagram's decision to sell their customers' photos. Even though they asked for a mulligan, is it too late to gain back their credibility? After that we talk about seasteading, which is the concept of forming a new government by creating permanent dwellings in international waters. One of the...
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Episode 108 - Good Luck Schwartz
Music, acting...and strippers, oh my!This week the music video Michael was in has its world wide debut! The gang investigates Facebook in "The Mystery of the Post-Mortem "Like"ing", and in our second segment we discuss comments made by two ESPN radio broadcasters regarding a 50 year old trans-gender college basketball player. After the break the explicit segment is all about Good Luck Schwartz and the trail of married women left in his wake. You've got to hear this!
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Episode 107 - Put on Your Yarmulke, it's Time for the...
Happy Chanukah everyone! Today, we discuss a very important birthday...text messaging turned twenty! The gang also discusses the unfortunate situation that occurred to Mr. Ki-Suk Han, whose picture was taken after being pushed onto the New York subway, right before getting hit by a train. What were the photographer's responsibilities (if any) in that situation? In the explicit segment it's The Brown's Brews Challenge (challenge) where we get our fill of ancient beers! Will Jabarie find an...
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Episode 106 - It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Flu...
This week Joe gets to steer the JBP ship for the very first time (Congratulations Joe)! This week Joe and Jabarie are feeling a bit under the weather so the gang has a lively debate about how effective over-the-counter drugs are. Next we discuss the lottery craze, Jabarie fantasizes over what he would do with his winnings, while Michael ponders whether winning that much money is really a good thing at all. In the explicit segment we discuss Pat Robertson's statements regarding the earth's...
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Episode 105 - Tickle Me Jabarie
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! This week Jabarie returns to the show! (Yay) The gang gets started by discussing their various Thanksgiving traditions, and Michael wonders if he'll ever be upgraded to from the kiddie table to the "Grown Up" table. Next, the group discusses the current scandal surrounding Sesame Street's Kevin Clash and the current Israeli/Gaza conflict. In our explicit segment it's all about picking up hotties in the drive thru. Is that even possible? We'll find out!
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Episode 103 - I've got 103 Problems and Logic is One.
This week JB laments the difficulties of switching to Logic Pro and keeping the podcast afloat, while Michael tries to avoid scary dealth glares. Michael gets to show off his acting skills in a music video and the guys discuss how gender, age, and race played a huge role in Tuesdays happenings (don't worry, we're glad it's over too). In our explicit segment we have a brand new Brown's Brews challenge where we see who has stoutest...well...Stout! Sounds like a good idea.
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Episode 102 - Today's Forecast, a 100% Chance That...
The entire JBP crew survives hurricane Sandy in one piece, despite Joe and Michael doing their very best to sabatoge themselves. Good thing the Zombie Apocolyze isn't upon us... Michael travels to New York to visit his soon to be 94 year old grandmother, whose house was damaged by the hurricane, and his trip inspires a conversation on "end of life" discussions with friends and family. After the break we crack open the booze and brighten things up with a conversation about our online...
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Episode 101 - How to Succeed in Business Without Skillz
This week JB and the crew talk about jobs, jobs, jobs. (Apparently, you need skills in order to find a job, whodathunkit!) The gang offer up some tips and tricks to help you know if the job you're interviewing for is the right one and they dig a bit deeper to help anyone seeking employment understand "The Skills Gap" and what it means for you. In the explicit segment it’s all about movie remakes... the good, the bad, and the spectacularly crappy. Grab a brew and settle in, we've got work to...
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The Jabarie Brown Podcast's 100th Episode Extravaganza!!!
We treat old school (and new school listeners alike) to an opening that pays tribute to some of our favorite openings, including a speical one about dolphins. The bubbly starts flowing and JB explains the awkwardness of mass inviting everybody on facebook to our 100th episode. Then the crew talks about growing up with divorce and how it has colored our lives in various ways. We start the explicit section with a big annoucement, and then spend the rest of the show celebrating the past 100...
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Episode 99 - 99 Bottles of (Pumpkin) Beer on the Wall
In this week’s episode, Michael tries to earmuff himself while JB laments the National's stunning loss. Joe updates us on the skydiver from near space, Felix Baumgartner.Jabarie grieves lost relationships, while Michael grieves everything. That brings us to Brown's Brews where we crown one of the Pumpkin Beers king, just don't drink the cider.
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The Best of the JBP - Vol 2
Enjoy our second volume of the Best of the JBP.
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Episode 98 - World of Jabarie
In this week’s episode, Jabarie talks about his escapades to Charlestown. Someone tries to one-up Michael by skydiving from 25 miles instead of a measly two miles, and a politician running for the Senate gets in trouble for naughty language while playing World of Warcraft.
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Episode 97 - JB Without the Michaels
Skeleton crew was going on for this episode. So enjoy JB without the Michaels. Yeah its a week late, but that doesn't mean this epsiode is any less tasty.
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Episode 96 - It's the Same Any Way You Look at It
We start off the show talking about baseball before diving into the results of Michael's night in the sleep clinic. Jabarie then leads the group in a discussion about childhood obesity and if there is anything we can do about it. The second half of the show was lost this week so if you heard it on the ustream thank you for listening. Hopefully we'll find a way to get our guest Moe back on the show again soon to follow up on the phone call we had with him.
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Episode 95 - Freudian Times
Jabarie shares his week 1 experiences as a new football fan, OG producer Russell returns and talks about what he's been up to, and Michael decides to check in to a sleep clinic. After the break Jabarie leads the group in a discussion about the recent attacks on US embassies, the youtube video that fanned the flames of violence, and the role of government and society in deciding the boundaries of free speech, if there are any.
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Episode 94 - To Boldly Go Where No Schwartz Has Gone...
Michael goes skydiving and lives to tell the tale and Jabarie shares his thoughts on the Democratic National Convention in the first 55. After the break it's beer and sports when Jabarie's first fantasy football roster is critiqued by the class and he is forced to pick a football team to root for this season. We also throw down the gauntlet on this month's Brown's Brews Challenge so go get your entries and e-mail them in!
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Episode 93 - Original Gangsta
It's Labor Day in the nation's capital and we can't think of a better way to celebrate than with all of you on the JBP. Panda returns for the holiday while Joe the roommate settles in to his new (old?) role as intern on the show...by being late. We talk politics after everyone watches the republican national convention, and after the break Jabarie prepares for his first ever fantasy football draft. Brought to you by the Amazon.com link on jabariebrownpodcast.com.
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Episode 92 - Smell Yah Later
This week Michael has some hygene tips for his personal trainer, Jabarie tries to stave off the grave for awhile longer, Roommate Joe sits in the empty chair, and we bid farewell to an American hero who has journeyed to the final frontier. After the break the boys (and visiting Adrianna) discuss some listener feedback. Do you think we're misogynistic? Does it matter? Is that even the right word? Don't forget, if you're a student it's back to school season so check out the amazon.com link on...
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Episode 91 - Brown's Brews Challenge
Brought to you by Amazon.com and the return of...Brown's Brews! It is a bittersweet episode tonight as JBP fan and one of the family Shmob sits in for his final episode before departing to the wilds of middle Virginia. We talk about the recent spat of mass shootings across the country before taking and break to prepare for the moment you have all been waiting for...the return of Brown's Brews...CHALLENGE! We lay down the ground rules of the revitalized segment before diving in to the epic...
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Episode 90 - Space Olympics
This week Michael launders some money and worries it might be a symptom of a larger problem. Shmob sits in on the show again in Russell's absense while he rehearses his new show and brings a scrumptious beer. JB gets excited about the Mars rover landing, tries to cheer on science in an increasingly unscientific America, and exposes to the class the negative side affects of hosting the olympics. After the break the boys reveal the return of a segment long thought dead, though like the...
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Episode 89 - Flowers for Michael
This week's episode is once again brought to you by Amazon.com. Russell has rehearsal again so he leaves the show in the capable hands of Jabarie...whose microphone overpowers everybody! Despite the audio problems the boys are able to vent about some complications with our big debut on Fairfax Public Access, JBP superfan Shmob vents about Northern Virginia and why he's leaving the area, and Michael shares some of his experiences popping pills (with a subscription) for his broken nose and for...
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Episode 88 - Hair Sensei
This week's episode is brought to you by Amazon.com and Fairfax Public Access. That's right, the JBP is going big time and broadcasting on local public access radio. If you are joining us for the first time, welcome! Jabarie catches us up on what's going on with the show and some of the changes that are coming to the program before Russell shares a transformative experience he had with his new hair stylist. JB counters with his own hair eccentricities and tells us yet another tale of woe...
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Episode 87 - King Jabarie
This week's episode is sponsored by Amazon.com. Jabarie concludes his marathon weekend to Florida and back by hanging out with us on the JBP. We introduce our first sponsor (hint hint), Michael gives an update on his nose and the good luck it brings, and Jabarie shares some of his experiences and thoughts from a weekend in Florida with his family celebrating the life of his recently departed grandmother. Thank you for your kind words this week, it means a lot to Jabarie and his family.
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Episode 86 - A Night of Special Protuberance
This week we get a late start on recording the show when Michael is rushed to the hospital after getting in the way of hockey puck. He is Mike's Hard Lemonade so our boy pushes through and records the show with us anyway. What a trooper. Jabarie updates us on his struggles with exercise and begins a discussion on finding alternative ways to stay healthy. Pauline Potter may have the right idea: this 643 pound woman lost 98 pounds by having marathon sex sessions with her ex-boyfriend.
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Episode 85 - Web of Love
Something around here is tingling...after celebrating Independence Day this week Jabarie and Michael go with our resident Spider-Man fan Russell to see the new movie and decide whether it was Amazing or not. Apparently the theater wasn't the only one putting on a show that day so Michael and Jabarie bring up Russell and his girlfriend's comfort level with PDA and discuss how much loving in public they're all ok with.
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Episode 84 - Two Days After Four Days Before The Day...
The day the lights went out in NoVa. It's "pandamonium" when Brown's Town is hit by a historic wind storm that swept across the United States late last Friday. Jabarie and the boys relate their tales of survival to the visiting Panda and her Panda Boo: Russell and his girlfriend refuse to let 80mph winds and an area-wide blackout keep them from seeing ALL of Channing Tatum in Magic Mike, Michael gets more drama then he bargained for during the closing weekend of his play, and JB braves a...
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Episode 83 - Who the F**K is Justin Bieber?
This week is a dollar short and a day late. For our special Monday night episode we talk a bit about the financial state of the show before Michael shares another war story from the trenches of J-Date. On the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death Jabarie poses some questions to the class: Can you still enjoy art created by an artist who commits acts in their personal life you disagree with? If an artist wins the lottery of fame and fortune over more talented and possibly deserving...
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Episode 82 - #yolo
#father's day. Russell returns from a vacation in Ocean City, MD with his girlfriend and shares with us what it's like to be in your late 20's surrounded by Senior Week 2012. Meanwhile, Michael gets the praise he deserves in the play he's acting in and Jabarie calls his dad live on the show for a little father-son bonding time.
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Episode 81 - Sext Ed
Sextual Healing. This week Russell gets ready for a return engagement to Ocean City, Md. He also plays a game of Candy Land with his girlfriend and her baby brother but draws a surprising card. Michael has a meltdown at his pickup hockey game so he's late to the show and recaps the opening weekend of a play he's in. Jabarie discovers sexting and he likes it.
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Episode 80 - The Sum of All Fears
The band is back together! Just in time for the two year anniversary of our program the big three finally reunite. Change is in the air so we pull back the curtain a bit at the beginning of the show to talk about what's going on behind the scenes. Michael returns from the wilds of the Grand Canyon where the most dangerous creatures he encountered were the elderly. As for Jabarie, we discuss some of his greatest fears made real this week: the zombie apocalypse has come to Miami and Brian...
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Episode 79 - The Boys of Summer
Happy Memorial Day! Jabarie kicks of the unofficial start of summer with Russell and the return of JBP superfan Shmob. We start off with a little show business before diving into the romantic lives of Russell and Shmob, which inspires Jabarie to reflect on his own status in the ways of love. The drinks are flowing this time so get ready for a loose and fun episode.
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Episode 78 - I Can't, I Have Rehearsal
Happy Birthday Panda. No Schwartzs at all this week, but we do get a Russell back and a Panda back, just in time for her birthday. Russell talks a bit about his theatre adventures during his time away and JB plans to go to Grad School.
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Episode 77 - Be a Mother Lover
Happy Mother’s Day! We thank the women who raised us (and made us), Michael wins a raffle, Jabarie gets some help making a difficult decision that the Schwartzs don’t agree with, and JB’s mom calls in to offer some motherly advice to her boy.
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Episode 76 - Assembly Required
It’s a week of reunions as both the Panda and Marc Ronick return to make our merry band of misfits a foursome.
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Episode 75 - Last Resort
Noich! Chad rolls the dice on Craig’s List and has some problems, Jabarie and his band party hard in the 757, and the boys talk caps hockey in honor of the Red rocking Boston in game 7.
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Episode 74 - Double Your Schwartz, Double Your Fun
Michael’s brother Chad drops by again to sit in Russell’s chair while he’s away. Per usual we give him a bunch of s**t for, well, being him. Jabarie picks up where he left off last week with the “best” week ever. We talk insurance and a new creative way to monetize the show.
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Episode 73 - JB and the Michaels
It’s just JB and Michael holding down the fort this week. Michael recaps his weekend of Stanley Cup mania in enemy territory. Jabarie has a really rough week and reflects on his weekend in Florida for his Grandmother’s funeral.
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Episode 72 - I Wanna be a Matzah Man
Russell begins his sabbatical from the show so the Schwartz brothers take a break from Passover to help Jabarie navigate the Mimi through troubled waters. Jabarie discusses a recent loss in his family so the boys talk about how we deal with both our own mortality and of those close to us.
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Episode 71 - Douche Cancer
Jabarie and Russell go to the first ever Mike O’Meara live show, while Michael supports cancer (?) at a fundraiser event. We also recount last friday’s big lottery and talk about a controversial new medical procedure being performed on young disabled children.
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Episode 70 - Poops and Parties
Party Rock! This week Russell attends his first Catholic mass (and surprisingly does not burn up upon entry), Michael delivers another wonderful poop story, and Russell accidentally throws a house party. Jabarie was not pleased.
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Episode 69 - Soixante Neuf
Censored! We made the difficult decision to edit out our final segment this week so if you heard it on ustream consider it a live bonus. For the podcasters we threw in some pre-show content about the hoarders in our lives before diving into the program proper. For Russell this meant going to the National Aquarium...for Jabarie this meant searching for interesting facts about the number 69. Hmmm....
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Episode 68 - g'day, g'day!
Sorry for the poor audio quality on Michael’s mic this week but Russell left us high and dry and we are lost without him. Michael’s brother Chad sits in and tells us about his trip to the land down under, including a delicious new trick he picked up, and we also discuss Gregg Williams and the Bounty System.
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Episode 67 - toeNAILED
Michael video records the removal of something gross from his person for our enjoyment, Jabarie reflects on the first week of his new job, some friends stop by in the studio, and the boys discuss one of your favorite topics...hockey.
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Episode 66 - F**k it and go for it!
Bangerang! Jabarie is near the end of his job hunt and reflects on his time as an unemployed american before beginning his new job this week. The lost boys chime in on their own experiences finding their way through college and the working world leading to a revelation on how to get ahead in life that you don’t want to miss! Now you want to press play, don’t you?
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Episode 65 - Love is a Contact Sport
Love is in the air. While Michael and Russell prepare for Valentine’s day with their significant others Jabarie prepares for a night alone in the only way a man can celebrate alone. We talk about more matters of the heart, including fleshlights, rating ourselves on the area code scale, a brand new JBP-original ratings scale, before wrapping up the show with Whitney Houston and the fallen idols of our lives.
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Episode 64 - Eurotrip
He’s back! Michael returns from Europe and tells us all about his adventures in the old country. Also, Russell blazes a trail through the wilds of the house refrigerator and throws his girlfriend a birthday party.
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From the Brown's Town Vault Vol. 1
Michael is back in town but we are going to take a week off while Jabarie visits his family. In the meantime, enjoy some of our favorite moments from the show that Jabarie cut together for us on his Brown’s Town editing station. Thank you for listening to us, see you next week!
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Episode 63 - Back to Reality
Jabarie holds down the fort for one more Michael-less week with the help of Russell and our good friend Marc from The Mike O’Meara Show. This week is all Reality TV as Jabarie recounts his American Idol audition experiences and throws out his opinion on the Jersey Shore. He also sees Danger Mouse live...maybe...sort of.
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Episode 62 - Any Dream Will Do
While Michael makes his way across Europe, Goat and Shmob join Russell and Jabarie for a very special Martin Luther King Day episode. The boys discuss our progress on living up to the good doctor’s dream, Russell has a new favorite show, Rob brings a gift that doesn’t end in a kick in the nuts, and Goat educates us on the pros and cons of the (maybe?) pending NHL Realignment.
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Episode 61 - New Year State of Mind
Happy New Year! Panda comes back to visit for the first episode of 2012. Jabarie recaps his band’s New Year’s show, Russell goes on a marathon trip to New York to ring in the new year, and we wrap up by sharing a few family New Year’s traditions and debating the 2011 TC Candler beautiful faces list.
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Episode 60 - Flying Cookie Monster
Happy Boxing Day! The boys recap their respective Christmas and Hanukkah holidays before diving into a discussion about religious displays on government land and the war on Christmas. Long live the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
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Episode 59 - The Schwartz-Off
It’s finally here! The twins compete in an epic Jewish trivia showdown that cannot be contained by a regular-sized episode. It is so intense that before we get started a cast member cracks under the pressure and almost derails the entire show! Two may enter, one may leave. Find out who wins... the Schwartz-Off!
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Episode 58 - Beignet Mitzvah
This week’s episode is brought to you by the Schwartz Off. Submit your Hanukkah or Jewish questions to jbpshow@gmail.com this week to be considered for the epic twin trivia battle next episode!As for this week, Michael goes to a piano bar, Jabarie drives into DC for the first time ever and somehow survives, and we all talk about walking that fine line between placating and being honest with our parents.
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Episode 57 - Everybody Sucks
This week’s episode is brought to you by the Schwartz Off. Submit your Hanukkah questions to jbpshow@gmail.com before December 18th and we’ll consider it for the epic twin trivia battle. On the show Russell has a reality check in his love life before we talk about the 5 top ways you’re wrong in every conversation. Make your own drinking game by taking a shot every time we exemplify them on the podcast.
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Episode 56 - Escape Goat
It’s our first Panda-less episode (as Rob reminds us) but we bring another manimal onto the show in her stead: Goat of Washington Capitals lore joins the show this week to discuss the news of the day: the replacement of Caps head coach Bruce Boudreau with Capitals alum Dale Hunter. We hope you like hockey as much as we do because that’s all you’re getting this week.
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Episode 55 - Year of the Panda
This week we say goodbye to the Panda. Panda talks about why she is leaving and what her plans are for the immediate future, Russell shares a few actually fun stories from his show this past weekend, listener Adrianna returns so we can sample her bacon cupcakes, and we wrap things up by sharing our favorite Panda moments.
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Episode 54 - Burden to Society
This week Jabarie has his first day in court ever, and it shows, Russell stays silent for a change to save his voice, and we talk about the impact of the scandal at Penn State on the student body.
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Episode 53 - Plants v. Poop
“Everything comes down to poop.” Panda has a big announcement, Russell delights us with a harrowing tale of intrigue from his Dinner Theatre, Jabarie and Michael geek out at their first Big O and Dukes event, and the Schwartz brothers compete for most embarrassing poop story. You decide who won.
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Episode 52 - Halloweenie
Sup, brah! Russell and Rob return to celebrate Halloween JBP-style. Most of the house hands out candy before the show except one Halloween grinch, the group share their Halloween weekend festivities, including a fight at Jabarie’s band’s show, and we wrap up with what we love, and hate, about Halloween.
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Episode 51 - Occupy Brown’s Town
Occupation Proclamation. Panda gets ready for her favorite holiday, slap bets are made, the boys explain their sports fandom, and Michael’s immunity finally fails him. Also, Russell misses his first podcast so Joe sits in and educates us on a new way to rate women before we talk about the growing Occupy movement.
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Episode 50 - Like a Boss
Live in a Dive. Thank you to everyone who joined us for our first live episode this week. We celebrated our 50th episode with a new gift from Rob (given in person!), a gritty tale of survival from the Panda, an update from Russell on his new play, another riveting account of Michael on the prowl, and Jabarie’s Final Countdown. Enjoy!
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Episode 49 - No Mitzvah Goes Unpunished
With the help of Michael’s brother Chad we soldier on once Panda falls by the wayside due to a mid-podcast injury. Also, Russell’s show opens so he gives Jabarie an impromptu voice lesson, Michael celebrates the Jewish New Year, we all discuss the possibility of handing down religion to our kids someday, and we make the big announcement!
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Episode 48 - Rickety Cricket
When you wish upon a star. We have an uninvited guest this week, Panda goes to the book faire, the group debates where to cross the line between work and personal life, and Jabarie gets his first massage but does he get a happy ending? And...we tease something big for our big 5-0.
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Episode 47 - The 47 Society
Arrr, Matey! The Mistress Marc Ronick stops by again to pick up the slack while Russell memorizes lines for his Pirate show. Michael sees too much at the Renaissance Festival, Marc and Michael commiserate over their fantasy football failures, the Emmys, and boner protocol.
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Episode 46 - No Touching!
What’s up, my nintendos! We kick things off this week by giving Jabarie advice on his love life, Michael goes to sleep away camp and doesn’t get homesick, we talk linguistics in the budding white female rapper scene, and Michael doles out a little law and order at jury duty.
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Episode 45 - Better Late Than Never
Only 6 days late! It’s a loose one this week as Russell navigates the treacherous world of Facebook de-friending, Jabarie and Michael salivate over exotic cuisine, and Panda finds us tofu...for cannibals? We wrap up with a little perspective on some happenings at Jabarie’s mistress and a little reader mailbag!
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Episode 44 - Return of the Pandapocalypse
We will rebuild. The boys (and girl) debate the legitimacy of 1990s black sitcoms, trade war stories from the great quake, bemoan the death of books, and Jabarie looks forward to scientific advances for the future (while Panda tries to to destroy it).
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Episode 43 - Hair
Do you really need a description? Look at that title and click play.
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Episode 42 - Ring of Fire
You are what you eat. The class challenges Jabarie on his new juicy diet plan, Michael tells another juicy story and returns from New York with a fresh perspective on the big apple, and we talk a bit about the riots in England.
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Episode 41 - Beast and the Harlot
Wow...and what does “wow” upside down spell? Mom...who should not listen to this episode.
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Episode 40 - 40 Acres and a Schmuel
We’re over the hill. Jabarie oversleeps for the Mistress, Panda brings some drama to the table for a change, Russell needs your help, ladies, and Michael is horny. He needs your help too.
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Episode 39 - The 39 Steps
The JBP is back for another episode where the boys discuss their recent theatre experiences, Jabarie flip-flops on Transformers, and we add another wrinkle to the facebooking your parents argument.
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Episode 38 - .38 Special
Waiting for Pizza. While Jabarie waits for the pizza delivery guy to brave the rain and bring him his dinner we talk about the Tony Awards, riots in Vancouver, the special ingredient that makes beer strong enough for a man but made for a woman, and a trivia game Michael made just for us.
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Episode 37 - 37 Everywhere
Happy Anniversary! The JBP celebrates its one year anniversary by having the longest Brown’s Brews ever (including drunk Panda!) followed by a serious conversation concerning the social commentary of X-Men: First Class. Yes, we’re bi-polar.
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Episode 36 - 36 Righteous Men
Party on Dudes! This week Russell is the one bringing grievances to the Mayor of Brown’s Town. We also talk diets, weight loss, and Vampires? with our good friend Gretchen Powell of www.honeyishrunkthegretchen.com
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Episode 35 - That’s a Wrapture
Be Viligent! The JBP survived the pandapocalypse thanks to the heroic efforts of the Macho Man himself (except for Panda’s bank account). Jabarie spent it at the Big Duff, Michael and Russell went to Town, and everyone gears up for some fine Panda cuisine.
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Episode 34 - Officer TJ Dumbledore
It’s hammer time. Michael and Russell blindside Jabarie with some dirty laundry, Panda cuts loose, and the boys fight off teeny boppers and Thor himself at the Yellowcard show.
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Episode 33 - Brown’s Town
We’re Back! It’s been awhile so Jabarie and the group talk a bit about what’s kept them away, especially the big move, landladies, packrats, lost podcasts, and of course, pooping. It wouldn’t be a JBP without that. Brown’s Town indeed...
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Episode 32 - Double Podcast Power!
“You might be a redneck if...” the JBP talks about what it means to be a man, Michael justifies falling asleep at parties, and we discover Panda has some country in her.
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Episode 31 - The Return of Jafarie
Cougars, Lions, and Panda Bears, oh my! Jafarie returns to talk about disney films, we compare the oldest notches on our bedposts, Panda fends off a pride of Lions, and we all wish Jabarie a happy birthday
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Episode 30 - That dj-vu that you do so well
"Excuse me while I whip this out." The JBP pays tribute to last week's fallen episode before moving on to this week's important agenda: Jabarie fails at math, Michael fails at sleeping, Russell pokes the Hokie (again), and everyone shares tales of injury and shame
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Episode 29 - Optimus Prime Number
Roll Out! To celebrate St. Patrick's Day Jabarie samples a bevy of Irish brews, Michael is not a happy Hokie, the JBP cheats on Russell, and we discuss the online reaction to the Tsunami in Japan.
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Episode 28 - Once You Go Brown, The Rest Make You Frown
Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony...Jabarie finally brings The Mistress Marc Ronick home for dinner for an agitated JBP...Michael gets benched, The Penguin gets "sick," Russell gets a surprise e-mail with major implications for the boys, Jabarie has a string of bad luck, and now white people feel oppressed too! "How could things get any worse?"
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Episode 27 - The 27 Club
Spoiler Alert! This week the JBP goes to the movies with our good friend John-Paul, Michael makes like a muppet, everybody talks about our bodily functions (again), and we give our own perspective on this year's Academy Awards.
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Episode 26 - A Podcast You Can't Refuse
"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns." Michael finally sees the Godfather, Russell and Panda celebrate President's day with TJ down in Monticello (and bring back a special beer for Brown's Brews), and Jabarie tells us what he thinks about the revolution in Egypt.
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Belated Valentines Day Gift
Jabarie and Russell recorded this on the Sunday before Valentine’s Day messing around with our recording gear. Hope you like it as much as Panda did!
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Episode 25 - Drawn and Quartered
Here's a quarter, call someone who cares. The JBP gets another gift from Rob, the boys wax nostalgic about video games, Jabarie teaches Russell a new dance move, and Michael returns from the snowy peaks of Utah. Like us on Facebook, you'll like what you get!
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Episode 24 - Jack Bauer Power Hour
Lions and tigers and Bauers, oh my! Because Jack Bauer executed last week's podcast with extreme prejudice before you all could hear it we decided to bring you something old (Michael has the hots for cartoons), something new (a new beer), something borrowed (lots of talk about throwing up), and someone blue (we forgot about Panda this past weekend, sorry!)
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Episode 23 - I Wanna Be Like Mike
What's up, doc? The JBP is on the mend and ready for action. Panda returns, Russell coughs less, Michael is fraternizing with the enemy, and Jabarie finds more proof that the world is going to end.
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Episode 22 - Pandapocalypse
This week's sickcast is brought to you by panda mystery. The Panda makes her big debut this week so Jabarie tries to convince us that she is the harbinger of the end of the world. In other news Russell is still sick (surprise), Michael still likes Rubix Cubes, and everyone still likes hockey.
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Episode 21 - PvP: Podcast versus Pittsburgh; or, The...
Unleash The Fury! Jabarie and the boys kick off the new year in style in Pittsburgh for the Winter Classic. Also, Russell goes to the hospital, Michael fights McSteamy, and Jabarie makes friends everywhere.
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Episode 20 - PvP: Podcast versus Penguin
(Recorded Dec. 30th, 2010) It's the Final Countdown! The new year is almost upon us and the boys are gearing up to take Pittsburgh by storm for the Winter Classic and New Years Eve. A native guide can be useful in enemy territory so Russell finally brings the Penguin over, Michael reveals a horrific secret to Russell, and Jabarie talks some Caps and Pens to gear up for the big game on New Years Day.
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Episode 19 - Bend it Like Backstrom
Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas! Russell cooks a holiday brunch for a studio full of guests, Michael gives a J-Date update, and Jabarie tries to help us figure out what's going on with the Washington Capitals recent losing streak.
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Episode 18 - Eighteen Minutes Before Sundown
A podcast that will live in infamy. The boys celebrate hanukkah by lighting the menorah, Michael apparently can't speak or drive, Russell gets lots of gifts, some good, some bad, and Jabarie plays Operation...on his face.
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Episode 17 - In Brightest Day, in Blackest Friday
Gobble Gobble. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! The boys discuss their irrational fears, recap their thanksgiving holidays, and favorite "meals," discuss the merits of black friday, and give thanks for a good year.
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Episode 16 - Our super sweet sixteenth podcast
Wingardium Leviosa, Wingardium Leviosa...To celebrate the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I this Friday Leslie Combemale of Art Insights (www.artinsights.com) joins the show to talk Harry Potter and film art. Also, Jabarie samples a few new Brown's Brews and Russell...where's Russell?
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Episode 15 - Another Opening, Another Show
Great Scott! Russell and Michael finish up some leftovers from last week before Jabarie and the boys travel back in time to reminisce about the child rearing tactics of their parents. If you had to pick a member of the JBP to be your dad, who would it be...?
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Episode 14 - In England weed have enough pounds to get...
Happy belated Halloween! As the mid-term elections come to a climax the boys catch up with each other's lives over the past few weeks. Brown's Brews gets off to a rocky start, Michael updates us on his romantic life, Russell stages his own intervention, and Jabarie goes to his first MMA match. It's a wild and sassy one tonight, folks, enjoy.
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Episode 13 - Today Our Podcast Becomes a Man
Mazel Tov! For the podcast's Bar Mitzvah the JBP thinks it's a hockey show before the boys bring it back around to what we all really care about...beer, sex, and taxes.
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Episode 12 - Twelve Angry Jabaries
Banana! In this week's episode Michael drops a hard J, Russell frolics in the fields of the Renn Fest, and Jabarie Rocks the Red like a champ. For the "serious part of the show" the boys contemplate what they would bring with them underground if they were trapped with the Chilean miners.
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Episode 11 - These Podcasts go to Eleven?
The Princes of the Podcast bring a bounty of bodacious beers to Brown's Brews. Michael juices, Russell scorns his couch of sadness, and Jabarie contemplates exercising his...um...1st amendment rights? That's the one with the guns, right?
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Episode 10 - You Should Not Covet Your Neighbor's Goods...
And now the conclusion. In the "serious" part of the show Jabarie illuminates the class on two issues near and dear to his heart: our Fourth Amendment rights...and zombies. Do zombies get fourth amendment rights?
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Episode 10 - You Should Not Covet Your Neighbor's Goods...
You can be my Yoko Ono. Enjoy part I of a special two-part 10th anniversary episode. Enough numbers for you? The boys recap their crazy weeks before Russell invites a guest on to the show with a special "gift" for all of us. Part II to come later this week...
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Episode 9 - Would be called Pluto but...you know...
It's a hot one in the old town tonight. Michael and Jabarie take it too far, Russell derails the show, and the boys talk about what it means to be a grown-up. Second star to the right, and straight on till morning!
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Episode 8 - 4 + 4/20
Size matters not...unless you count this episode. In this extended edition Russell has a dark secret, Brown's Brews makes a welcome return, as does Ben Mandel, and Jabarie leads the class in a serious philosophical discussion...on medicinal weed legalization coming to town.
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Episode 7 1/2: Doesn't buy a hell of a lot (of pizza)
Another epic podcast of epicness! Michael's a ladies man all of a sudden, we import a Panda to the show (but avoid the tarif), and the boys discuss prostates, privacy, and pizza?
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Episode 7 - Which Dwarf is Jabarie?
Hi-Ho...Hi-Ho...it's back to work we go. Jabarie pulls more messages from the mail bag, Michael discusses life on the stage, Science claims another casualty in the war on our childhood, and we're excited about a band that went on hiatus actually coming back from hiatus!
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Episode 6 - Six on the Beach
We're back!!! Finally! In this super-sized welcome back edition the 3 Amigos tap the holy grail of Brown's Brews and then wax nostalgic about their vacations. We're sorry it took so long but take solace in the fact we were off having fun while you waited by the iTunes for us to post. We thought of you every day, though, we promise...
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Episode 5 - Pyat!
Despite some technical difficulties the boys stay alive for number 5. Ben is back for another week while Michael journeys home from Alaska on a penguin's back. No Brown's Brews this week but we do react to some listener mail for the first time!
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Episode 4 - Fantastic Four Score and Seven Years Ago!
We have a rowdy one for you this week with special guest Ben Mandel. While Michael's away the boys wrap up the World Cup, debate Vampire sex, and ponder a Jabarie with more Botox and less facial expression.
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Episode 3 - ...is a magic Podcast
Yaaaar!!! Jabarie loves Whale Wars, Europe makes us feel good to be American, and Michael brings another last minute submission to Brown's Brews. Surprised?
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Episode 2 - Electric Boogaloo
Round 2. Fight! This week the boys fight the sophomore slump by talking Glee, technology invading our brains, and the World Cup. It's not easy being Green.
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Episode 1 - Maiden Voyage (of the Mimi)
Welcome to the maiden voyage of the Jabarie Brown Podcast. To kick things off this week the boys talk beer, baseball, and BP. It's our first time...be gentle...
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- English
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