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I'll Mature When I'm Dead

Dave Barry

A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call "adulthood". In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ("Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It goes: 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']"), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ("There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM."), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed "could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time. Watch a Video

A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call "adulthood". In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ("Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It goes: 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']"), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ("There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM."), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed "could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time. Watch a Video
More Information

Genres:

Humor

Description:

A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call "adulthood". In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ("Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It goes: 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']"), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ("There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM."), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed "could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time. Watch a Video

Language:

English

Length:

4h 16m


Chapters

Introduction
Introduction

03:39


Chapter 1
Chapter 1

06:13


Chapter 2
Chapter 2

07:10


Chapter 3
Chapter 3

07:13


Chapter 4
Chapter 4

05:20


Chapter 5
Chapter 5

03:20


Chapter 6
Chapter 6

06:52


Chapter 7
Chapter 7

06:09


Chapter 8
Chapter 8

03:27


Chapter 9
Chapter 9

04:30


Chapter 10
Chapter 10

05:58


Chapter 11
Chapter 11

06:06


Chapter 12
Chapter 12

07:01


Chapter 13
Chapter 13

04:14


Chapter 14
Chapter 14

03:42


Chapter 15
Chapter 15

05:05


Chapter 16
Chapter 16

05:14


Chapter 17
Chapter 17

02:53


Chapter 18
Chapter 18

06:22


Chapter 19
Chapter 19

04:00


Chapter 20
Chapter 20

06:59


Chapter 21
Chapter 21

06:28


Chapter 22
Chapter 22

04:05


Chapter 23
Chapter 23

05:09


Chapter 24
Chapter 24

05:58


Chapter 25
Chapter 25

03:41


Chapter 26
Chapter 26

05:12


Chapter 27
Chapter 27

06:59


Chapter 28
Chapter 28

03:53


Chapter 29
Chapter 29

06:23


Chapter 30
Chapter 30

06:59


Chapter 31
Chapter 31

02:50


Chapter 32
Chapter 32

06:35


Chapter 33
Chapter 33

03:48


Chapter 34
Chapter 34

05:55


Chapter 35
Chapter 35

06:10


Chapter 36
Chapter 36

05:15


Chapter 37
Chapter 37

06:32


Chapter 38
Chapter 38

03:39


Chapter 39
Chapter 39

04:48


Chapter 40
Chapter 40

03:02


Chapter 41
Chapter 41

06:40


Chapter 42
Chapter 42

02:52


Chapter 43
Chapter 43

04:51


Chapter 44
Chapter 44

03:42


Chapter 45
Chapter 45

03:10


Chapter 46
Chapter 46

06:01


Chapter 47
Chapter 47

06:45


Chapter 48
Chapter 48

07:53