In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks - ... and Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-aged White Guy-logo

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks - ... and Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-aged White Guy

Adam Carolla

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past-Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the ho

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past-Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the ho
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Description:

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past-Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the ho

Language:

English

Length:

6h 45m


Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 1

01:06


Chapter 2
Chapter 2

02:06


Chapter 3
Chapter 3

04:50


Chapter 4
Chapter 4

04:18


Chapter 5
Chapter 5

04:11


Chapter 6
Chapter 6

03:34


Chapter 7
Chapter 7

04:19


Chapter 8
Chapter 8

04:47


Chapter 9
Chapter 9

04:09


Chapter 10
Chapter 10

03:44


Chapter 11
Chapter 11

04:49


Chapter 12
Chapter 12

04:58


Chapter 13
Chapter 13

04:50


Chapter 14
Chapter 14

04:59


Chapter 15
Chapter 15

04:50


Chapter 16
Chapter 16

03:24


Chapter 17
Chapter 17

04:10


Chapter 18
Chapter 18

04:57


Chapter 19
Chapter 19

03:52


Chapter 20
Chapter 20

03:52


Chapter 21
Chapter 21

04:07


Chapter 22
Chapter 22

04:20


Chapter 23
Chapter 23

04:34


Chapter 24
Chapter 24

03:12


Chapter 25
Chapter 25

03:34


Chapter 26
Chapter 26

03:21


Chapter 27
Chapter 27

03:08


Chapter 28
Chapter 28

02:56


Chapter 29
Chapter 29

04:13


Chapter 30
Chapter 30

04:18


Chapter 31
Chapter 31

03:57


Chapter 32
Chapter 32

04:38


Chapter 33
Chapter 33

03:44


Chapter 34
Chapter 34

03:23


Chapter 35
Chapter 35

04:17


Chapter 36
Chapter 36

04:10


Chapter 37
Chapter 37

04:00


Chapter 38
Chapter 38

04:30


Chapter 39
Chapter 39

03:57


Chapter 40
Chapter 40

03:54


Chapter 41
Chapter 41

03:15


Chapter 42
Chapter 42

02:41


Chapter 43
Chapter 43

01:50


Chapter 44
Chapter 44

03:11


Chapter 45
Chapter 45

03:36


Chapter 46
Chapter 46

02:18


Chapter 47
Chapter 47

04:46


Chapter 48
Chapter 48

02:51


Chapter 49
Chapter 49

02:51


Chapter 50
Chapter 50

03:13


Chapter 51
Chapter 51

03:10


Chapter 52
Chapter 52

03:41


Chapter 53
Chapter 53

03:12


Chapter 54
Chapter 54

03:06


Chapter 55
Chapter 55

03:51


Chapter 56
Chapter 56

02:58


Chapter 57
Chapter 57

02:56


Chapter 58
Chapter 58

03:20


Chapter 59
Chapter 59

03:34


Chapter 60
Chapter 60

03:18


Chapter 61
Chapter 61

04:22


Chapter 62
Chapter 62

02:54


Chapter 63
Chapter 63

03:59


Chapter 64
Chapter 64

03:09


Chapter 65
Chapter 65

01:54


Chapter 66
Chapter 66

03:55


Chapter 67
Chapter 67

04:46


Chapter 68
Chapter 68

02:13


Chapter 69
Chapter 69

03:32


Chapter 70
Chapter 70

04:36


Chapter 71
Chapter 71

02:52


Chapter 72
Chapter 72

02:24


Chapter 73
Chapter 73

04:03


Chapter 74
Chapter 74

02:48


Chapter 75
Chapter 75

02:59


Chapter 76
Chapter 76

03:05


Chapter 77
Chapter 77

02:04


Chapter 78
Chapter 78

04:21


Chapter 79
Chapter 79

01:28


Chapter 80
Chapter 80

01:10


Chapter 81
Chapter 81

01:38


Chapter 82
Chapter 82

04:16


Chapter 83
Chapter 83

03:51


Chapter 84
Chapter 84

05:03


Chapter 85
Chapter 85

02:41


Chapter 86
Chapter 86

04:25


Chapter 87
Chapter 87

03:55


Chapter 88
Chapter 88

04:47


Chapter 89
Chapter 89

04:33


Chapter 90
Chapter 90

03:07


Chapter 91
Chapter 91

02:42


Chapter 92
Chapter 92

04:16


Chapter 93
Chapter 93

04:22


Chapter 94
Chapter 94

01:49


Chapter 95
Chapter 95

03:37


Chapter 96
Chapter 96

04:26


Chapter 97
Chapter 97

01:22


Chapter 98
Chapter 98

03:32


Chapter 99
Chapter 99

03:24


Chapter 100
Chapter 100

04:27


Chapter 101
Chapter 101

02:51


Chapter 102
Chapter 102

03:51


Chapter 103
Chapter 103

04:45


Chapter 104
Chapter 104

04:28


Chapter 105
Chapter 105

03:39


Chapter 106
Chapter 106

04:37


Chapter 107
Chapter 107

04:33


Chapter 108
Chapter 108

03:45


Chapter 109
Chapter 109

03:52


Chapter 110
Chapter 110

03:18


Chapter 111
Chapter 111

04:48


Chapter 112
Chapter 112

02:18