Maternity Leave - A Novel-logo

Maternity Leave - A Novel

Julie Halpern

Julie Halpern's Maternity Leave tells the profane, profound and just plain funny story of a professional woman who thinks she's ready for a baby but her maternity leave proves otherwise. Thirty six year old Annie Schwartz-Jensen is a middle school teacher on maternity leave-a time she imagined as uninterrupted, blissful bonding with her baby. Instead she is dealing with her body leaking from every possible orifice, a baby who won't sleep, a husband who still wants to have sex with her (is he nuts??), single friends who are clueless, and a mother who picked now to take a vacation. The only people who REALLY understand Annie are the wonderful people she spends sleepless nights with on QVC: Keep those velveteen table runners and non-jiggle stretch pants coming! As Annie navigates life with her new baby, she realizes that not all Mommies are created equal. But she is determined to find her way, love her baby, her husband, herself---even if she has to wear nipple protectors for the rest of her child-bearing life. The audiobook includes an interview with the author.

Julie Halpern's Maternity Leave tells the profane, profound and just plain funny story of a professional woman who thinks she's ready for a baby but her maternity leave proves otherwise. Thirty six year old Annie Schwartz-Jensen is a middle school teacher on maternity leave-a time she imagined as uninterrupted, blissful bonding with her baby. Instead she is dealing with her body leaking from every possible orifice, a baby who won't sleep, a husband who still wants to have sex with her (is he nuts??), single friends who are clueless, and a mother who picked now to take a vacation. The only people who REALLY understand Annie are the wonderful people she spends sleepless nights with on QVC: Keep those velveteen table runners and non-jiggle stretch pants coming! As Annie navigates life with her new baby, she realizes that not all Mommies are created equal. But she is determined to find her way, love her baby, her husband, herself---even if she has to wear nipple protectors for the rest of her child-bearing life. The audiobook includes an interview with the author.
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Description:

Julie Halpern's Maternity Leave tells the profane, profound and just plain funny story of a professional woman who thinks she's ready for a baby but her maternity leave proves otherwise. Thirty six year old Annie Schwartz-Jensen is a middle school teacher on maternity leave-a time she imagined as uninterrupted, blissful bonding with her baby. Instead she is dealing with her body leaking from every possible orifice, a baby who won't sleep, a husband who still wants to have sex with her (is he nuts??), single friends who are clueless, and a mother who picked now to take a vacation. The only people who REALLY understand Annie are the wonderful people she spends sleepless nights with on QVC: Keep those velveteen table runners and non-jiggle stretch pants coming! As Annie navigates life with her new baby, she realizes that not all Mommies are created equal. But she is determined to find her way, love her baby, her husband, herself---even if she has to wear nipple protectors for the rest of her child-bearing life. The audiobook includes an interview with the author.

Language:

English

Narrators:

Erin Bennett

Length:

7h 37m


Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 1

10:01


Chapter 2
Chapter 2

08:36


Chapter 3
Chapter 3

08:41


Chapter 4
Chapter 4

12:14


Chapter 5
Chapter 5

02:07


Chapter 6
Chapter 6

06:09


Chapter 7
Chapter 7

06:12


Chapter 8
Chapter 8

04:30


Chapter 9
Chapter 9

06:11


Chapter 10
Chapter 10

03:01


Chapter 11
Chapter 11

01:25


Chapter 12
Chapter 12

05:15


Chapter 13
Chapter 13

02:13


Chapter 14
Chapter 14

08:42


Chapter 15
Chapter 15

02:51


Chapter 16
Chapter 16

01:00


Chapter 17
Chapter 17

00:43


Chapter 18
Chapter 18

01:19


Chapter 19
Chapter 19

02:13


Chapter 20
Chapter 20

01:57


Chapter 21
Chapter 21

01:59


Chapter 22
Chapter 22

04:24


Chapter 23
Chapter 23

01:00


Chapter 24
Chapter 24

02:43


Chapter 25
Chapter 25

04:21


Chapter 26
Chapter 26

03:39


Chapter 27
Chapter 27

01:52


Chapter 28
Chapter 28

00:45


Chapter 29
Chapter 29

02:18


Chapter 30
Chapter 30

02:43


Chapter 31
Chapter 31

04:29


Chapter 32
Chapter 32

05:31


Chapter 33
Chapter 33

01:09


Chapter 34
Chapter 34

02:14


Chapter 35
Chapter 35

01:17


Chapter 36
Chapter 36

00:36


Chapter 37
Chapter 37

01:30


Chapter 38
Chapter 38

00:27


Chapter 39
Chapter 39

01:14


Chapter 40
Chapter 40

00:43


Chapter 41
Chapter 41

00:40


Chapter 42
Chapter 42

03:07


Chapter 43
Chapter 43

02:20


Chapter 44
Chapter 44

01:01


Chapter 45
Chapter 45

03:35


Chapter 46
Chapter 46

04:45


Chapter 47
Chapter 47

00:26


Chapter 48
Chapter 48

00:33


Chapter 49
Chapter 49

01:50


Chapter 50
Chapter 50

02:50


Chapter 51
Chapter 51

00:20


Chapter 52
Chapter 52

02:06


Chapter 53
Chapter 53

00:52


Chapter 54
Chapter 54

00:22


Chapter 55
Chapter 55

03:34


Chapter 56
Chapter 56

03:54


Chapter 57
Chapter 57

00:36


Chapter 58
Chapter 58

03:03


Chapter 59
Chapter 59

00:36


Chapter 60
Chapter 60

00:58


Chapter 61
Chapter 61

00:35


Chapter 62
Chapter 62

11:10


Chapter 63
Chapter 63

01:20


Chapter 64
Chapter 64

01:07


Chapter 65
Chapter 65

04:06


Chapter 66
Chapter 66

02:11


Chapter 67
Chapter 67

01:09


Chapter 68
Chapter 68

01:39


Chapter 69
Chapter 69

01:24


Chapter 70
Chapter 70

00:29


Chapter 71
Chapter 71

00:22


Chapter 72
Chapter 72

01:27


Chapter 73
Chapter 73

10:39


Chapter 74
Chapter 74

00:29


Chapter 75
Chapter 75

00:34


Chapter 76
Chapter 76

00:57


Chapter 77
Chapter 77

00:52


Chapter 78
Chapter 78

02:30


Chapter 79
Chapter 79

01:21


Chapter 80
Chapter 80

01:04


Chapter 81
Chapter 81

01:46


Chapter 82
Chapter 82

09:00


Chapter 83
Chapter 83

00:44


Chapter 84
Chapter 84

02:16


Chapter 85
Chapter 85

01:04


Chapter 86
Chapter 86

10:04


Chapter 87
Chapter 87

00:23


Chapter 88
Chapter 88

00:44


Chapter 89
Chapter 89

02:11


Chapter 90
Chapter 90

04:24


Chapter 91
Chapter 91

03:26


Chapter 92
Chapter 92

02:00


Chapter 93
Chapter 93

04:22


Chapter 94
Chapter 94

01:10


Chapter 95
Chapter 95

01:34


Chapter 96
Chapter 96

01:24


Chapter 97
Chapter 97

00:33


Chapter 98
Chapter 98

00:23


Chapter 99
Chapter 99

00:20


Chapter 100
Chapter 100

01:40


Chapter 101
Chapter 101

02:26


Chapter 102
Chapter 102

01:04


Chapter 103
Chapter 103

02:26


Chapter 104
Chapter 104

07:30


Chapter 105
Chapter 105

04:01


Chapter 106
Chapter 106

01:56


Chapter 107
Chapter 107

01:21


Chapter 108
Chapter 108

02:22


Chapter 109
Chapter 109

01:10


Chapter 110
Chapter 110

02:23


Chapter 111
Chapter 111

07:49


Chapter 112
Chapter 112

02:03


Chapter 113
Chapter 113

01:49


Chapter 114
Chapter 114

02:09


Chapter 115
Chapter 115

00:56


Chapter 116
Chapter 116

01:54


Chapter 117
Chapter 117

01:52


Chapter 118
Chapter 118

05:16


Chapter 119
Chapter 119

03:25


Chapter 120
Chapter 120

07:43


Chapter 121
Chapter 121

04:48


Chapter 122
Chapter 122

04:39


Chapter 123
Chapter 123

00:45


Chapter 124
Chapter 124

02:54


Chapter 125
Chapter 125

03:09


Chapter 126
Chapter 126

03:23


Chapter 127
Chapter 127

01:06


Chapter 128
Chapter 128

03:49


Chapter 129
Chapter 129

01:29


Chapter 130
Chapter 130

01:59


Chapter 131
Chapter 131

03:53


Chapter 132
Chapter 132

02:43


Chapter 133
Chapter 133

08:49


Chapter 134
Chapter 134

12:52


Chapter 135
Chapter 135

00:24


Chapter 136
Chapter 136

00:40


Chapter 137
Chapter 137

03:31


Chapter 138
Chapter 138

04:01


Chapter 139
Chapter 139

04:23


Chapter 140
Chapter 140

04:41


Chapter 141
Chapter 141

10:49


Chapter 142
Chapter 142

00:31


Chapter 143
Chapter 143

00:53


Chapter 144
Chapter 144

01:43


Chapter 145
Chapter 145

03:56


Chapter 146
Chapter 146

01:11


Chapter 147
Chapter 147

00:54


Chapter 148
Chapter 148

01:41


Chapter 149
Chapter 149

01:39


Chapter 150
Chapter 150

00:35


Chapter 151
Chapter 151

04:22


Chapter 152
Chapter 152

06:07


Chapter 153
Chapter 153

02:30


Chapter 154
Chapter 154

04:34


Chapter 155
Chapter 155

07:40