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The Botox Diaries

Janice Kaplan

In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. "My body is a temple," Lucy explains. "I just don't want it to crumble like St. John the Divine." Jess and Lucy's friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to "Kindest Cut" one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren't just for men-they're equal-opportunity dilemmas. To Jess's dismay, Lucy announces that she's taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy's too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life-and in her bed. Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything-from an orgy in Willie Nelson's trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder. Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women's midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun? From the Hardcover edition.

In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. "My body is a temple," Lucy explains. "I just don't want it to crumble like St. John the Divine." Jess and Lucy's friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to "Kindest Cut" one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren't just for men-they're equal-opportunity dilemmas. To Jess's dismay, Lucy announces that she's taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy's too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life-and in her bed. Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything-from an orgy in Willie Nelson's trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder. Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women's midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun? From the Hardcover edition.
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Description:

In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. "My body is a temple," Lucy explains. "I just don't want it to crumble like St. John the Divine." Jess and Lucy's friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to "Kindest Cut" one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren't just for men-they're equal-opportunity dilemmas. To Jess's dismay, Lucy announces that she's taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy's too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life-and in her bed. Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything-from an orgy in Willie Nelson's trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder. Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women's midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun? From the Hardcover edition.

Language:

English

Narrators:

Lynn Schnurnberger, Ana Gasteyer

Length:

4h 47m


Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 1

05:04


Chapter 2
Chapter 2

04:12


Chapter 3
Chapter 3

06:09


Chapter 4
Chapter 4

04:44


Chapter 5
Chapter 5

04:40


Chapter 6
Chapter 6

04:29


Chapter 7
Chapter 7

01:35


Chapter 8
Chapter 8

04:10


Chapter 9
Chapter 9

05:31


Chapter 10
Chapter 10

06:29


Chapter 11
Chapter 11

02:44


Chapter 12
Chapter 12

04:54


Chapter 13
Chapter 13

03:15


Chapter 14
Chapter 14

05:05


Chapter 15
Chapter 15

07:34


Chapter 16
Chapter 16

01:39


Chapter 17
Chapter 17

07:54


Chapter 18
Chapter 18

13:07


Chapter 19
Chapter 19

10:46


Chapter 20
Chapter 20

09:27


Chapter 21
Chapter 21

14:39


Chapter 22
Chapter 22

12:10


Chapter 23
Chapter 23

04:11


Chapter 24
Chapter 24

08:56


Chapter 25
Chapter 25

05:05


Chapter 26
Chapter 26

06:37


Chapter 27
Chapter 27

06:51


Chapter 28
Chapter 28

08:53


Chapter 29
Chapter 29

07:53


Chapter 30
Chapter 30

06:41


Chapter 31
Chapter 31

08:58


Chapter 32
Chapter 32

11:33


Chapter 33
Chapter 33

06:02


Chapter 34
Chapter 34

04:30


Chapter 35
Chapter 35

05:39


Chapter 36
Chapter 36

04:37


Chapter 37
Chapter 37

03:21


Chapter 38
Chapter 38

04:26


Chapter 39
Chapter 39

03:42


Chapter 40
Chapter 40

02:15


Chapter 41
Chapter 41

04:50


Chapter 42
Chapter 42

03:20


Chapter 43
Chapter 43

03:21


Chapter 44
Chapter 44

03:39


Chapter 45
Chapter 45

05:38


Chapter 46
Chapter 46

06:40


Chapter 47
Chapter 47

07:05


Chapter 48
Chapter 48

02:45