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The Riptide Ultra-Glide - A Novel-logo

The Riptide Ultra-Glide - A Novel

Tim Dorsey

Welcome to Paradise! Freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall are going to sunny Florida for a modest romantic vacation. But the motel they picked isn't quite a pastel paradise, and they have to be midwesterners and make the best of a bad situation. Except bad goes to worse, and a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state. Meanwhile, the next Mexican-American War is being fought, this time in Fort Lauderdale, between the Kentucky mafia and the Oxy cartel over control of the lucrative pain clinic market. Latinos are turning up dead, hillbillies are wandering the beach trampling sand castles, and cops continue arresting doctors wriggling out of office windows. But it's never really a party until Serge and Coleman arrive. Cruising down U.S. 1, Captain Florida and his perpetually altered sidekick are on a mission to film the best reality show ever! Back at their motel, the McDougalls are peeking out the curtains. They've become very popular, especially with Serge, who believes he's found the perfect stars for the pilot of his new TV series. Are the McDougalls safer with Serge or should they take their chances on the mean streets? Will Coleman get tired of signing autographs? Can pelicans be used as murder weapons? Is time running out for our heroes? And, finally, the question still on everyone's lips: What's up with Florida? Stay tuned for all the answers in . . . The Riptide Ultra-Glide!

Welcome to Paradise! Freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall are going to sunny Florida for a modest romantic vacation. But the motel they picked isn't quite a pastel paradise, and they have to be midwesterners and make the best of a bad situation. Except bad goes to worse, and a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state. Meanwhile, the next Mexican-American War is being fought, this time in Fort Lauderdale, between the Kentucky mafia and the Oxy cartel over control of the lucrative pain clinic market. Latinos are turning up dead, hillbillies are wandering the beach trampling sand castles, and cops continue arresting doctors wriggling out of office windows. But it's never really a party until Serge and Coleman arrive. Cruising down U.S. 1, Captain Florida and his perpetually altered sidekick are on a mission to film the best reality show ever! Back at their motel, the McDougalls are peeking out the curtains. They've become very popular, especially with Serge, who believes he's found the perfect stars for the pilot of his new TV series. Are the McDougalls safer with Serge or should they take their chances on the mean streets? Will Coleman get tired of signing autographs? Can pelicans be used as murder weapons? Is time running out for our heroes? And, finally, the question still on everyone's lips: What's up with Florida? Stay tuned for all the answers in . . . The Riptide Ultra-Glide!
More Information

Description:

Welcome to Paradise! Freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall are going to sunny Florida for a modest romantic vacation. But the motel they picked isn't quite a pastel paradise, and they have to be midwesterners and make the best of a bad situation. Except bad goes to worse, and a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state. Meanwhile, the next Mexican-American War is being fought, this time in Fort Lauderdale, between the Kentucky mafia and the Oxy cartel over control of the lucrative pain clinic market. Latinos are turning up dead, hillbillies are wandering the beach trampling sand castles, and cops continue arresting doctors wriggling out of office windows. But it's never really a party until Serge and Coleman arrive. Cruising down U.S. 1, Captain Florida and his perpetually altered sidekick are on a mission to film the best reality show ever! Back at their motel, the McDougalls are peeking out the curtains. They've become very popular, especially with Serge, who believes he's found the perfect stars for the pilot of his new TV series. Are the McDougalls safer with Serge or should they take their chances on the mean streets? Will Coleman get tired of signing autographs? Can pelicans be used as murder weapons? Is time running out for our heroes? And, finally, the question still on everyone's lips: What's up with Florida? Stay tuned for all the answers in . . . The Riptide Ultra-Glide!

Language:

English

Narrators:

Oliver Wyman

Length:

9h 20m


Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 1

00:12


Chapter 2
Chapter 2

10:53


Chapter 3
Chapter 3

18:09


Chapter 4
Chapter 4

20:03


Chapter 5
Chapter 5

17:00


Chapter 6
Chapter 6

26:10


Chapter 7
Chapter 7

20:43


Chapter 8
Chapter 8

17:30


Chapter 9
Chapter 9

21:32


Chapter 10
Chapter 10

14:50


Chapter 11
Chapter 11

16:45


Chapter 12
Chapter 12

12:18


Chapter 13
Chapter 13

15:44


Chapter 14
Chapter 14

12:07


Chapter 15
Chapter 15

12:21


Chapter 16
Chapter 16

13:31


Chapter 17
Chapter 17

17:17


Chapter 18
Chapter 18

24:18


Chapter 19
Chapter 19

11:10


Chapter 20
Chapter 20

25:53


Chapter 21
Chapter 21

22:01


Chapter 22
Chapter 22

12:23


Chapter 23
Chapter 23

12:11


Chapter 24
Chapter 24

17:35


Chapter 25
Chapter 25

21:14


Chapter 26
Chapter 26

13:31


Chapter 27
Chapter 27

14:40


Chapter 28
Chapter 28

12:21


Chapter 29
Chapter 29

18:01


Chapter 30
Chapter 30

11:45


Chapter 31
Chapter 31

11:51


Chapter 32
Chapter 32

13:49


Chapter 33
Chapter 33

17:33


Chapter 34
Chapter 34

26:23


Chapter 35
Chapter 35

06:37


Chapter 36
Chapter 36

00:36