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San Diego's number one rated sex, intimacy and love coach takes you on a passionate journey through all the forbidden questions you've always wanted answers to. Get clear, sensual, guidance to help you learn about your body, experience more passion and uncover hotter chemistry. Learn how to do all of it simply by tuning in and applying what you learned. If you're currently experiencing heartbreak, emotional pain or betrayal there are plenty additional episodes to help you get through it all. Tari's unique blend of wisdom, intelligence and humor takes complex and often uncomfortable subjects and breaks them down into something you can do something with, tonight! A must for anyone who wants to elevate themselves or their intimate relationship to the next level. The Closeness podcast is also a supplement to real world in-person and virtual coaching sessions. To schedule an appointment for you and your partner, fill out an intake form at


San Diego, CA


San Diego's number one rated sex, intimacy and love coach takes you on a passionate journey through all the forbidden questions you've always wanted answers to. Get clear, sensual, guidance to help you learn about your body, experience more passion and uncover hotter chemistry. Learn how to do all of it simply by tuning in and applying what you learned. If you're currently experiencing heartbreak, emotional pain or betrayal there are plenty additional episodes to help you get through it all. Tari's unique blend of wisdom, intelligence and humor takes complex and often uncomfortable subjects and breaks them down into something you can do something with, tonight! A must for anyone who wants to elevate themselves or their intimate relationship to the next level. The Closeness podcast is also a supplement to real world in-person and virtual coaching sessions. To schedule an appointment for you and your partner, fill out an intake form at





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13 Easy to fix roadblocks that are keeping you from having sex right now… and what to do about them

CHAPTERS: 0:00 Introduction 3:42 1:Logistics 8:03 The three categories of affection 11:33 Logistical problem 1a: Your furnishings 13:37 Logistical problem 1b: Lovers can't find the time 14:12 2. Family, extended family and kids 15:58 3. No locks on your doors 18:30 4. The zoo that lives with you 19:57 5. Energy 22:35 Not wanting to. Needing it to feel natural 29:25 7. You're not there emotionally 32:01 8. She shuts down emotionally, feels defeated and broken 36:04 9. Your timing is off! 43:40 Often women don't even know what bad timing is 46:05 10. Pressure 50:36 11. Not putting yourself in your partners shoes (empathy and understanding) 54:15 12. Too many broken promises 56:50 13. Not making small progressions towards sex


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What to do with an extra horny wife or girlfriend… when your libidos are mismatched

CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this 2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there 3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her 5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend 11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you 15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply 15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive 17:45 What to do if she looks discouraged 21:30 She doesn't know what to do but you DO 25:24 When men get discouraged or don't understand what to do 27:35 Your sexuality matters too - but if you don't desire her you're in trouble 29:35 In search of answers... 30:22 If you don't authentically desire her, you'll probably blow it 35:40 You really can't change someone's desire, libido or sex drive too greatly 37:34 It turns out your sex drive does matter too 41:40 Women actually pressure men to have sex too... 46:02 Final thoughts, summary and wrap up Image by Racool_studio on Freepik


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20 Things to consider when dating a woman who has children

Chapters: 0:00 Intro 2:25 Disclosures 3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends 5:45 1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention 7:06 A taste of my story 9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist 12:00 The usual disclaimers 14:00 A contribution from a single mother 15:57 3. The length of your commitment matters 17:56 4. Her children must come first 22:15 5. You can’t just come over 23:29 5a. Sometimes you may rank last in terms of priority 24:24 5b. The ex she’s still in touch with 25:30 Giving a balanced perspective 27:04 6. You are stepping into a pre-existing family 30:30 7. If the children don’t like you 32:26 8. Divorce statistics and how they effect children 33:39 9. You’ve got to be creative with discipline 35:50 10. Navigating who should pay… for everyone 41:06 11. The possibility of meeting the ex or proverbial crazy ex 42:35 12. Extended family is often involved 45:14 13. Women are incredible care takers- but often not for you 49:08 14. The biggest risk: Spending time with the kids by yourself 50:50 15. You’re not man enough for not raising her kids? 52:42 16. Women have LOTS of “standards.” You’re allowed to have standards too 55:04 17. Physically speaking… 59:04 18. What about what you need as a man? 1:01:08 19. Women’s needs are often met by having and raising children 1:03:35 20. Kids are truly a sensory experience for women 1:07:20 Warm sentiments on the joys of connecting with children 1:10:55 Outro


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The incredible experience of knowing when a woman is in love with you… and how to reciprocate back! 15 ways

Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 7:23 1. When she's deferential towards you 14:26 2. She looks at you directly, frequently 16:47 3. The way that she looks at you 20:55 4. Admiration 24:12 5. Her desire to have sex with you 28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do 35:30 Putting yourself in her position 41:12 7. Little notes and mementos 42:56 8. Gifts 45:57 9. She wants to talk to you and be near you all the time 48:30 10. She gives you her softness 50:47 11. She's more sexual and sensual outside of the bedroom 51:50 12. Exchanging videos, memes and all number of cute things 52:30 13. She shows up for you and is there when you need her 54:44 14. She loves to have fun with you and play with you 56:30 15. Her family and or friends know about you and love you or like you lots


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Sexual Tension. What it is, how to play with it and why you must build it with your partner

CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro 1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently 3:41 Puppy dog love 8:34 Men and women initiate differently 12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexually available to you 14:23 Finding the right "time" to initiate 15:58 How to be sexual with your consensual partner 18:37 Why men have a hard time with timing 21:14 Don't ask her to do it, show her 22:16 What it means to bring your masculine energy to the relationship 24:25 Distinguishing consent from asking for sex 28:14 Why can't women initiate? 29:18 Why you must initiate with her 30:14 When women actually do want to initiate 31:44 When is the right time to initiate sex with your partner 35:34 She wants you to take her 39:24 Getting all those bad boy qualities into... you 43:17 How to create a nice sexual buildup 46:20 Be careful of being mechanical and planning it all out 47:38 You must become a sexual being or a sexual person to satisfy her 49:22 All about sexual tension 57:55 Outro


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Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it

This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deeper issue, others can simply be avoided with a little presence. In this episode we'll teach you how to understand and navigate conflict in a healthy way. Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action 3:20 Cause and effect 9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you 11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior 24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior 30:30 A logic based universe 32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain 37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today 38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions 40:25 The elusive world of feelings 42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated 48:45 Understanding intuition 50:45 Text fights 53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare 53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking 55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust 58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest 1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it? 1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner 1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded 1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior 1:07:28 Playin the armchair psychologist 1:10:46 Outro


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Closeness Interview: A glimpse into a millennial military spouse’s marriage. Could this also be your relationship?

In this unprecedented interview read by the podcast host, a Closeness Client shares her struggles with intimacy and grapples with her desires for dominance and assertiveness in relationship. A two part interview with a "director's cut" version: commentary from the host, as well as an unadulterated interview. Does her experience hit home? CHAPTERS: 0:00 Intro 2:15 The basis of this interview 6:04 The unedited interview begins at about 58 minutes 6:24 The interview begins 7:09 How long have you been together and what is working? 8:16 Fantasizing about dominance 8:42 How is your communication? 9:16 Some personal commentary 11:56 What are you struggling with in your relationship? 12:40 Discussion about women waiting for the action 14:52 She needs a dominant man 22:58 How can I help and what do you want to accomplish here? 29:40 Infidelity and frequency of sex 32:48 Expectations about sex 35:12 Who rejects who more and why? 38:59 Where would you like to see your partner be more of something 40:48 Her primal sexual experiences 44:40 My commentary 50:30 How a man can assert dominance in an attractive way to her 53:00 The importance of women speaking their minds in relationship 53:32 Her sexual kinks and interests 54:02 Do you climax regularly, even if not together? 54:16 She wants to learn how to be more feminine and elimiate masculine energy 58:34 FULL UNADULTERATED INTERVIEW 1:21:59 Outro


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How to move things forward and have sex when you feel like roommates, best friends or are simply not progressing

Without a doubt, one of the number one reasons people struggle in long term, committed relationships, is because they feel like best friends or roommates at home. There's no passion or excitement! Nothing is moving forward, or things have gone stale. In this hour long episode you’ll learn how to immediately take the reins again and change that immediately. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Intro 0:57 The Waiting game 3:47 Why this happens 4:57 Women can take the lead without being outrageous 8:13 If you’re already a woman who’s comfortable initiating 10:46 Women don’t want to initiate 12:56 women are hornier but can go longer without it 14:08 On sexual tension and the importance it 15:32 What I think women want sexually 18:01 Summary of key points 21:17 Women can progress things too! 23:23 Ladies you re allowed! Give yourself permission 25:45 Something women can do to initiate or be more receptive 30:02 Men who think they always need to chase 30:55 Women and lofty expectations 31:40 Men can pick up and notice things but not ultra subtle cues 32:58 Just because you’re letting it happen does not mean you necessarily like it 36:54 Advice for men 39:44 Sex and sexuality often doesn’t happen outside of the house 42:46 Sitting separately on the sofa like roommates 48:20 You can’t be too sweet or exclusively sweet 50:28 Examples of being sexy 53:02 Don’t be predictable 54:42 How to engage in suggestive behavior 57:20 How to handle yourself with most women 58:59 How to keep the train moving forward 1:01:23 Further problem solving 1:04:36 Dirty talk 1:05:30 Men really struggle to play and not act 1:07:30 Finding the right words to use with your woman 1:09:24 Delivering the goods 1:13:14 Outro


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Why your female partner or wife isn’t having sex with you, and what you can do about it

Often the things we aren't doing in bed can be as detrimental as the ones we are. Here are ten reasons why your wife or girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you.


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Interview: Intimate insights from the mind and heart of a 20 year old college student

An unusually intelligent and intellectual college student explores her boundaries of sexuality, and intimate desires. How men and women at the university level interact with each other these days in the dating world is different than what we've seen before. Together, we explore who should initiate and seduce in the bedroom, male and female nature, teaching inexperienced men how to have sex, what confidence looks like in a man, handling rejection, solving the eye contact dilemma, what eye contact actually conveys, the necessity for men to be dominant, coming into her sexuality and more!


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10 ways women can feel more sexually desirable and connected in and out of the bedroom

Chapters: 0:00 Intro 4:45 Speak up for yourself 12:00 Speaking unconsciously for obnoxious lengths of time 20:26 Making her come well and relax often triggers women to talk 22:24 Learning to be open and in a receptive mode to welcome intimacy 25:58 Don't have sex with people you don't like sleeping with 27:02 Beating up your man for mistakes from his past that he has remedied 33:05 Not letting insecurities get in the way of a good time 36:38 Toning down the arrogance, entitlement and aggressiveness 40:00 Talking about and bringing your fantasies to life 43:00 Coming to terms with the duality of your beauty 54:30 Actually do stuff to your man 59:00 Bonus: Stop grabbing our D's like it's a stress toy 1:00:48 Bonus: You really can do more. Your advances are almost always welcome Intimacy and closeness are not always about the hottest sex tip or latest magazine article for instant results. Sometimes it's about being a better person. Here are 10 strategies that are sure to not only make you a better human, but will also make your man feel more open and receptive to having sex with you.


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Staying hard, getting it up, finishing too early, ED, PE, and other fascinating subjects for men and women

The most difficult subject for any man to think about much less discuss is likely to be: keeping it up, getting it up and finishing too quickly. This is an episode you'll want to listen to with your partner because there are tools, tips and tricks in here for both men and women. Don't skip out on incredible intimacy when the answers can be found right here! CHAPTERS 0:00 Introductions 1:33 Finishing too quickly is not an option for a successful relationship 2:35 It’s not enough to only accommodate her in other ways 4:04 Women need time to get warmed up! 5:50 It's selfish of you when you finish first 7:40 Analyze your equipment - where are you the most sensitive 8:49 Rocking back and forth 9:37 Grounding yourself 12:14 Caveat for particular women who hold back sex 16:57 Being slothful and lazy 19:19 More techniques for a man to ground himself 21:41 Don’t transition from one thing to the next without a break 24:05 How do you initiate sex 26:46 Body language. It matters! 30:40 Remaining calm through the storm 34:24 Don’t get so focused on not finishing 35:48 Finishing and the actual orgasm are two different things 37:12 Thoughts on edging 39:39 You just can’t last without practice 40:45 Thoughts on taking care of her first 43:32 Simply making a woman come once is not the answer 44:30 Selflessness vs selfishness 46:46 When you’ve been with someone for a long time 49:16 How to be a little more selfish 52:11 Maintaining your erection 52:50 The absurdity of constant hardness 55:10 The women that want you to be ‘obsessed’ 58:55 Where exactly do you touch her if she doesn’t want certain parts touched? 1:01:09 It’s not always about how hard you are 1:02:09 Men avoid sex too, just like you 1:04:04 When you catch yourself avoiding sex, do this instead 1:06:46 Being afraid to touch it and getting uncomfortable 1:08:00 Things women do that do NOT help 1:11:26 Why is touching it not ok 1:13:49 Removing the stigma of touching yourself 1:15:23 Bad expectations 1:19:35 Outro


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How to properly be dominant and assertive with a woman in the bedroom

CHAPTERS 0:00 Introductions 3:29 How exactly does a man learn to be dominant 8:06 What does healthy dominance mean? 14:30 When a woman is ready for sex before you are and understanding gender roles 16:15 What is sexual foreplay? 22:05 Women often can't express what they want 24:03 How do you handle bad results and fears 25:37 Welcome to Deep Listening™ 29:04 What do women want in bed? 30:15 The shadow side of aggressiveness is not sexually attractive 32:45 What are some better approaches 35:36 It's not about acting 36:32 What is your working definition of being dominant? 38:15 More on what healthy dominance is not 42:00 Men have a different idea of what dominance is, and it's not good 46:40 Anything can be done with the right tone, intensity and speed 47:40 Women with sass 50:16 Don't treat her like a dog 52:06 Why men have such a hard time doing it right 54:18 Women already deeply struggle with decisiveness 55:32 Most women don't often know what they want or how to help you 57:46 More steps to begin being more dominant 58:38 How to demand a woman's presence 1:00:03 Please stop saying I don't know 1:01:58 How to ask the right questions 1:03:45 The myth that the fantasy just happens... naturally 1:06:16 How men ask for sex 1:12:50 To be dominant you must know this 1:13:38 More on what being dominant does NOT mean 1:14:46 What would REALLY put you in the mood for sex? Is it help with chores? 1:17:55 Thoughts on initiations 1:20:10 Final master tips 1:24:52 Outro


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Can you have it all in relationships? Plus, female mating strategies

CHAPTERS 0:00 Introduction and can you have it all? Recitals and disclaimers 2:44 In a nutshell 4:20 What does it mean to have it all? 9:40 Misunderstandings 12:40 Should one person be your everything? 15:21 COVID and Politics 16:26 Are you really perfect, just the way you are? 17:40 The Disney Fairytale 21:30 How Women Select mates 24:39 How men often think of intimacy 25:45 Great sex does not come naturally to most many men 33:04 How does one become a skilled lover? 37:25 Can a man really become a sexual dynamo? 40:26 An unskilled woman CAN be flipped into a fantastic lover 47:24 What do I make of all of this? 49:15 The fallacy of, If they can do it I can too" 56:24 Further thoughtsWe're one moment away from a meltdown 58:09 Is it ok that you don't have it all in your relationship?


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30 Things you never need to say to your partner again

Chapters: Avoid these thirty expressions to have a better life


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To come or not to come. Whether men should finish and how women feel about it

One of the biggest questions of our time as it pertains to intimacy is whether or not a man should always "finish" when having sex. This episodes dives deep into the pros and cons and explores the little known avenue of pressure that women can place on men. Topics include: 0:00 Introduction 0:53 Societal expectations around finishing 1:33 Typical expectations around male ejaculation 9:10 Is a male orgasm bad? 12:03 The spiritual minded orgasm 13:17 Restraining for energy 14:44 Everyone has a different sex drive 17:43 Pressure! 23:15 There is no reward for marathon sex 30:58 Final thoughts on pressure 34:10 Final thoughts and tips


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Empathy, understanding and answers for sexually inexperienced men

Please listen to this episode with your partner. Sexually inexperienced men do not get a lot of attention. Because this subject is so sensitive, there isn't much real world instruction around it either. In fact most men grapple with a great deal of shame and guilt around the subject and often will not reach out for help. This episode is for you. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Introduction Cause and Effect 6:34 You're not alone 9:11 Sex does NOT suddenly become a skill once you're married 12:47 Women do not want to teach you how to have sex with them 17:03 Inexperienced men often find themselves with sexually experienced women 18:25 Inexperienced men often have women initiate in the beginning 21:12 Women get angry, frustrated and resentful when they have to do all the work or nothing happens 23:41 Brief recap 25:32 What can women do to help their men in this situation 28:42 More things women can do to support an inexperienced lover 30:47 Third thing she can do 33:39 Inexperienced men often take on the female role 36:35 Are women more sexual than men? 39:45 Conclusion and outro


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What to do and what it means when a woman says she needs space

One of the most difficult things someone can hear, is that their partner needs space. Nothing is clear, the terms are undefined, and once uttered it usually ends up in disaster. Tune in now to find out what to do. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Introduction 5:25 Malignant phrases 6:20 How to handle short term space 8:38 When she takes days, weeks and months of space 13:15 What you're supposed to know when she says she needs space 16:08 If you're going to try to make it work, here's what you should do. 15 minutes. 34:42 Do the feelings of the other partner matter? 39:54 How to correctly ask for space 42:21 Asking for space in a healthy and conscious way 44:55 What NOT to do when you needs space 47:36 Should you go out, party, drink and do drugs? 52:45 You actually could have just ended the relationship 53:32 When a guys never texts you back or calls you back... 56:15 How much space do you actually need? 56:54 Why women get upset when a man asks natural questions 59:15 If you're going through this now, it gets worse... 1:03:25 The pitfalls of actually taking space 1:06:42 What if your partner doesn't need or want space but you do? 1:08:43 What if the man needs space? 1:10:54 Summing it all up 1:15:15 How anger and resentment plays in to taking space 1:25:50 Does Tari actually see the value in taking space? Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this immensely.


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Part 3: How to properly handle and move on from a breakup

1:45 Actions speak louder than words 5:55 What do you actually owe the other person? 8:24 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you 10:36 When we invest ourselves too much and get overextended 13:54 Self care and taking care of ourselves 20:23 When you think you don't want anyone else but them 23:28 getting over your previous relationships 24:36 an exercise to show yourself you can get past this... using your exes 26:20 Caring for and helping others...once you're healed 28:21 Can you still be friends with your ex or after a breakup? 30:48 How do you treat your ex after a breakup? 32:38 Personal stories of trying to remain friends with exes 34:15 Why must we NEVER touch again after breaking up? 36:26 The ways that couples deal with breakups 38:34 How to not handle your breakup 41:48 Advice for the person who is hurting the most 45:56 Do you even want to be friends after a breakup? 47:46 Personal stories about breakups and relationships 49:11 Being in love when someone only 'likes' you back 51:42 What to do if you feel like you actually love them more 55:28 Don't stay in relationships where you partner doesn't show up for you 59:17 Personal experience from a partner loving me more, but I wasn't there yet 1:03:13 Nobody wants to be loved when you're thinking about someone else 1:08:04 Outro


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Part 2: How to properly handle, cope and deal with a breakup

One of the biggest challenges of being alive today, is handling, processing, surviving and getting through a breakup. In this 90 minute episode I am going to help you get through it. CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro 2:45 You are probably in crisis right now 7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them 8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process 10:20 The disaster of distracting yourself vs healing yourself 12:14 The age old adage, that everything heals with time is not helpful 14:45 How to self soothe and search for relief 17:33 Avoiding unhealthy distractions 24:39 How can you separate distractions from helpful actions to occupy your mind or time? 30:09 Things to not do during your healing process 35:00 The kinds of friends you should seek solace from 39:14 Feng Shui and letting of old possessions 41:05 Questions to reflect on 43:02 It's the aftermath of a breakup that makes spending time together impossible 48:01 Trying to be with or supportive of your ex while they are reeling 50:01 The loss of all terms of endearment 51:43 Pay attention to how they treat you during and after a breakup 54:19 We never want to talk about it when things are going well 57:27 We don't need to suffer so deeply to experience the highest of highs 59:15 When you like or love your partner more than they like or love you 1:00:42 The person who loves you less will tend to gaslight and attack you 1:06:10 People are selfish 1:08:26 You're never going to get what you want when you need it most 1:17:07 People lie... incessantly 1:22:21 In lying to and deceiving your partner, you will lead them on 1:26:36 When they tell you they need space...