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Boehmcke's Human Condition

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United States

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English

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Episodes

The Importance of Breaking Up

8/15/2018
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The first time I went through a real breakup I was 17. It was my first indicator of the emotional turbulence a romantic relationship could bring. The feeling of heartache was not unfamiliar but it was certainly unwelcome. I was naive in matters of the heart. I always have been. I did not realize breaking up meant mourning; actively participating in the processing of one’s feelings. Transitioning out of love, lust, or even companionship has always made me rethink at least parts of my life. I...

Duration:00:09:21

The Incessant Personal Radio

8/13/2018
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Every morning, when I open my eyes, it is like I am joining a radio program already in progress. A song I may or may not have heard recently is playing in my head, on repeat, like some sort of Manchurian Candidate type instruction directing me to assassinate my own sanity. The song varies as does the genre. Sometimes I know why the song is there. Other times, I have no idea why or how the song got stuck in my head, especially when it is a song I haven’t thought about in years. This music,...

Duration:00:07:21

Getting Ready to Fail As A Parent

8/9/2018
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Sometime in my early 20s, I read a quote in Esquire Magazine that said: “Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.” The quote was in a special issue all about fatherhood. The advice in it made me reflect on my own childhood. For the first time, it really registered just how incredibly challenging parenting is. Since then, whatever fears I had about becoming a parent have only grown in magnitude. Read the original article here:...

Duration:00:07:12

Small Kindnesses I Will Never Forget

8/3/2018
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Throughout my life I have been witness to beautiful acts of humanity. Sometimes I was a witness, and other I was lucky enough to be the recipient. Read the original article here: https://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/small-kindnesses-i-will-never-forget-cmtt/

Duration:00:08:50

Where We Stayed: When Luxury Didn’t Matter

7/26/2018
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Budget business hotels haven’t generally been my first thought when taking a vacation, but they were the kind of hotel I stayed in on family trips when I was a kid. In fact, they were the kind of hotel I absolutely loved. As a child, I thought every hotel we stayed in was amazing. Somewhere along the lines that changed and it’s affected the way I travel for the worse. Read the original article here: https://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/where-we-stayed-when-luxury-didnt-matter-cmtt/

Duration:00:07:56

A Modest Proposal: No More Applause

7/19/2018
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I typically don’t see the speeches or sound bites our politicians make. I find myself distracted by the applause of the audience. It feels most political audiences are more interested in being spoken to and for by somebody who echoes their exact sentiments. It is not a chance to learn or be informed, but rather a chance to raise the flag of who you are in a group of similar flag raisers. But what if we collectively agreed political speeches and debates were not eligible for applause? Would...

Duration:00:05:27

The Chinese Beauty Vlogger

7/12/2018
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That means I am regularly thinking about manhood, masculinity, and their existence in every facet of our lives. This means I am constantly evaluating my own beliefs and perceptions. Sometimes I learn new things, sometimes I end up more confused than when I started. But either way, I am aware of how men are performing their identity in their daily lives. That being said… I recently spent a week with a dozen beauty vloggers (video bloggers) from China visiting New York City. And things got...

Duration:00:10:59

My First Real Date: A Sweat Filled Panic Attack in Slow Motion

7/5/2018
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By the time I got to college, I had never really asked anybody out before. On a date. To an actual place. By the time I was in high school so much flirting and courtship took place over email and instant messenger chat. Guys and girls would hang out in groups, or meet at a coffee shop or a diner. But there was never a real asking out to dinner and a movie. The thought of it made me extremely nervous. I didn’t know how to ask a girl out on a date. And then I met The Phoenix Suns Dancer......

Duration:00:10:31

Weapons vs. Tools: The Ways We Raise Our Boys

6/26/2018
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If we think about how we raise boys versus how we raise girls in this country, it is easy to see we teach and treat them quite differently. That gap has left women struggling for the same opportunities men have always had. For years women had to create and learn the tools they hadn’t been given. Looking at men, while it seems society lavished them with opportunity, it has long neglected to give them tools as well. Read the original article here:...

Duration:00:08:33

The Multitudes in Us

6/25/2018
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There has always been a duality in me, and if I reflect on it further, it’s more than a simple duality. My interests are varied and sometimes unique to each other. What fascinates me and what I pursue may not always seem logical within the same person, or even practical for that matter. I make no claims the sensation of these disparate selves are of great profundity or importance. They simply coexist within me with varying degrees of harmony. Read the original article here:...

Duration:00:09:27

The Topics We Should Be Teaching

6/24/2018
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Regardless of your stance on the education system in this country, and despite the herculean efforts of teachers, we can agree by the time kids leave college they aren’t truly prepared for adulthood. However, we can do something about that. Read the original article (with all the links) here: https://goodmenproject.com/education-2/the-topics-we-should-be-teaching-cmtt/

Duration:00:10:23

The Accidental House Husband

6/23/2018
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Five years ago I quit my job and started a business working from home. In the beginning, spending all day in my apartment was glorious. Leaving the corporate world is an incredibly liberating act. It made me feel like I had somehow beat the system. I no longer needed to battle the daily frustrations that commuters and colleagues typically experience. However as the years passed, and working from home became its own job instead of a response to a previous experience, it gradually started to...

Duration:00:08:10

It's Not My Favorite

6/22/2018
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Our language has moved into the realm of the extreme. We love to tell people about our favorites, about the bests, and the worsts. Our headlines influence how we share our (not so) private thoughts. In fact, it feels like a big part of the zeitgeist involves constantly giving social media answers to questions nobody has asked. Since so much is being shared descriptive language has escalated towards emotional hyperbole to stay relevant in the social media cacophony. We feel obligated to...

Duration:00:08:09

Activism and Membership in the Club of Men

6/21/2018
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My desire for belonging has been constantly worn down by a disappointment at the rewards of actual belonging. The metaphors all held true; all that glitters, the grass being greener, I kept traversing dividers hoping for fulfillment. The reticence I have felt in memberships of all organizations rises to the top again as I ask myself: is this something I want to be part of? Can I temper my criticism so as to be open minded? Do I want to subject myself to criticism? Do I want to go out of my...

Duration:00:09:48

A Brief History of Personal Prejudice

6/20/2018
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In examining my own life I am constantly reminded of my own prejudices. They arrive unbidden, illicit flashes of misinformation and insecurity. Open-minded as I may try to be, I am still full of mistaken beliefs. I do my best to circumnavigate and disassemble them. Part of that involves reflecting on my childhood and some of the more embarrassing moments that stick out as milestones in a slow journey out of ignorance. Read the original article here:...

Duration:00:09:16

Handshakes and Hugs

6/19/2018
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When we are kids, hugs are everywhere. Becoming a teenage boy means something inside us gets shut off or shut down. We harden, hold back, and change the ways we might want to behave. We trade expression for repression. Physical contact becomes acceptable only through sport or aggression. And while the spectrum of perceived “acceptable” physical contact between boys is changing, when I was a kid, there was no spectrum. Things are changing though... slowly.

Duration:00:08:39

The Inadvertent Life Changing Moment

6/18/2018
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The journey I was on back then was a very personal one. I sought noticeable growth and change within myself. That meant managing the opposing desires for solitude and connection. I embraced my alone time. I reveled in it. I wrote in my bible sized journal every day. I read Atlas Shrugged. I contemplated beautiful vistas, wondering how I would be different when I returned home. I was so in love with this personal process that I was unable to appreciate the opportunities for greater...

Duration:00:08:54

Perfect Abs Don't Make a Perfect Man

6/17/2018
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The arrival of Fight Club in 1999 came at a time of rapidly changing identity for men. Brad Pitt’s character was the trim and toned opposite of the Stallones and Schwarzeneggers that had dominated our screen for two decades, who themselves had been the opposite of the Eastwoods and McQueens from the decades prior, back when what appeared on screen was still attainable to most. The muscular excess of the 80s action movie has recreated itself in the Superhero genre dominating the box office...

Duration:00:08:26

A Big League Gift from a Little League Father

6/16/2018
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My parents weren’t cheap or frivolous. They were always firmly budget conscious. They bought the gear that would do the job. And I knew better than to ask for the fancy equipment simply because it would make me look cool in front of my friends. Sure I wanted it but I knew it couldn’t be rationalized. While I didn’t truly understand it then, the value of things had been built into me by my parents. But that also didn't mean they were incapable of surprising me, as they would soon prove.

Duration:00:07:08

Crying Myself to Adulthood

6/15/2018
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Tears are much closer at hand these days than they’ve ever been. I wouldn’t say I’m always on the cusp of breaking down, it’s more subtle, yet no less present. The river of emotion which has run at different levels throughout my life, now feels always full, just below the surface. It’s alarming, at least for me, as it is a departure from how I felt when I was younger.

Duration:00:08:16