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Dear Prudence


Advice, commentary, and conversation from Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column.

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column.
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Advice, commentary, and conversation from Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column.




Dear Prudence: The “Bullying Sister-in-Law” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Talia Jane, a NYC-based aspiring comedy writer who makes smoothies for a living and who wants you to join a union. Daniel and Talia tackle questions about whether un-friending someone on social media because of their politics makes you a bad person, how to be a good partner to someone who may be questioning their gender, what can you do to start a new friend group in a new city, how to weigh an offer for a far away job with good healthcare when suffering from...


Dear Prudence: The "Demeaning My Coworkers" Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Gavia Baker-Whitelaw, a geek culture critic at the Daily Dot, and co-host of the podcast Overinvested. This week they take on letters about how to talk to your child about transgender identity, how to talk to others at work about the death of your child, what strategies can you use to politely address your coworkers when your illness can cause you to forget their names, how to be there for your sister when faced with spending time with her abusive partner,...


Dear Prudence: The “Crush On My Job Interviewer” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Courtney C.W. Guerra, an editor and writer who's been giving advice as Dear Businesslady since 2014. Together, they tackle questions about talking to your partner who thinks they know how to do your job better than you, how do decide if you’re ready for a big move for a new job, what obligations do you have to answer work texts when your job provides your phone, how to talk to your parent about not wanting their new partner to officiate your wedding, and is...


Dear Prudence: The “Do I Buy the Ticket?” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by researcher and writer Jamie Fisher. Together they take on questions about whether or not to visit a close platonic friend that makes their partner jealous, how to talk to my partner about the fact that sex might be off the table, what can I do to deal with my fiance’s family (and their dogs) who don’t take seriously my trauma from a childhood dog attack, and how to find peace and joy when dating has proven unsuccessful. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie...


Dear Prudence: The “Poly Wedding Invite Etiquette” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by writer and activist Jaclyn Friedman. Together they tackle questions about whether it’s ever ok to misgender someone when talking to a doctor, when to establish boundaries when working as a personal assistant, how to think about your own sexuality when your parents and therapist have reacted with homophobia, where to look for new purpose and joy at an older age, what kind of conversation to have with your in-laws who put their dirty shoes on the couch, and...


Dear Prudence: The “I Wanna Kidnap a Dog” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by standup comedian Myq Kaplan, who hosts the new podcast Broccoli and Ice Cream, and who is making his second appearance on the show. Together they take on questions about how to decide if your partner is being vulnerable or controlling in a polyamorous relationship, what to do if you think you might be racist, how to appease your mother about miniscule wedding invite details when she is paying and whether or not you should kidnap a dog to get it fixed. Slate...


Dear Prudence: The “Women Are Too Distracting” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Jessie Lane, a social worker, mother, excellent cook, and holder of many opinions (and in this episode, holder of a baby). They tackle questions about how to deal with a coworker who tells the boss about their seemingly private suggestions for workplace improvement, how to tell your family about your sister’s boyfriend’s predatory behavior, what to do when your kid doesn’t fit in well with your family’s childcare, how to deal with a queer friend offended by...


Dear Prudence: The “Inspector Javert of Office Meatballs” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! family is struggling after an awful accident in which my father killed a neighbor’s dog and in which my kids blame themselves. I think I may have found “the one” but our interactions with another couple leave us both feeling outrageously jealous… (only...


Dear Prudence: The "Calculated Incursion On My Workplace" Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at the company. Next, this letter writer has been in a long term and long distance relationship where communication is difficult and they sometimes go weeks without talking - is it time to think about moving on? My close friend is experiencing...


Dear Prudence: The “Expensive Bulk Food-Grazer” Edition

Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot contain their horror as they watch their friend grab handfuls of expensive bulk snacks while walking through the grocery store without paying - is a confrontation looming? Then, a friend group questioned this letter writer’s sexuality and...


Dear Prudence: The "Mommy Moocher" Edition

Prudence is joined by Krystal Farmer: twitter, podcast, and emo music enthusiast. First, my partner will no longer accompany me to my family’s gathering because of the “redneck BS” he hears - what can I do? Next, my family won’t turn off their Alexa device when we stay there, even though it really creeps us out - are we being unreasonable or are they? And, a group of single moms who help each other out with carpool and childcare are tired of one mom whose efforts they don’t think are...


Dear Prudence: The “Wizard Privilege” Edition

Prudence is joined by Margie Omero, a Democratic pollster and co-host of the bipartisan podcast “The Pollsters.” First up, my life feels unglamorous and the TV shows I watch just make me bitter, how can I address this? Next, I have a great relationship with my mother, but she owes me money I need for rent, help! Then, my wife often changes the gender of traditional male-dominated stories when she reads them to our daughter and I worry this could be jarring for her when she is able to read...


Dear Prudence: The “Falling for My Co-Parent” Edition

Prudence is joined by Baby Ange, host of the podcast Femme Too Deep. First up, a letter about “sex negativity” - this letter-writer did not enjoy sex with their partner but is having trouble finding constructive words to talk about it. Next, a father (and we suspect, not a regular listener) struggles with watching his teenage daughter grow up. Then, two co-parents are falling for eachother: should they go for it? And finally, a letter-writer worries that his brief courtship with a woman...


Dear Prudence: The "Spousal Acknowledgement" Edition

Prudence is joined by Olga Kreimer, a journalist and grad student who writes an aggressively earnest advice column at the LA Review of Books. First up: will it be awkward if I don’t mention my husband in the acknowledgment of my first book since he was super unsupportive of my writing process? As a teacher near Parkland, I’m having serious anxiety about our school’s preparedness for a shooting, but administrators aren’t taking my concerns seriously - what can I do? And lastly, my in-laws...


Dear Prudence: The “Holidays of Their Own Design” Edition

Prudence is joined by Josh Gondleman, stand up comedian and writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. First up, my Uncle says he won’t come to my wedding unless he’s joined by the woman he had an affair with, but my Aunt and their kids are still devastated - help! Next, I’m worried I’m an abusive partner to my husband - how can I know and what do I need to do next? My spouse’s family takes their made up holidays very seriously and sometimes insist on family portraits with “blood...


Dear Prudence: The "Early Summer Chicken" Edition

Prudence is joined by powerhouse couple Gillian Evans and Lucy Mueller to help answer letters. First up: I’ve begun fostering a young child whose parents want me to prepare halal meals for him, but my family’s diet is much different - what should I do? Next, my parents keep insisting I need a roommate, but I am financially independent and don’t need their input…how can I politely tell them to respect my choices? I have a medical condition that makes sex painful - a surgical fix would mean...


The “Nosey Desk-Searching Boss” Edition

Prudence is joined by Justine D’Souza, a Phone Support Counselor for a youth helpline. We start with a job seeker who has concerns about disclosing their health problems during the interview process. Then, an employee whose boss searches their desk and email inbox when they step out, calling them out for...their yogurt spoons. A loving spouse no longer feels attracted to their trans partner and needs some guidance. And lastly, a letter-writer doesn’t want to feel like a “cruise-director”...


Dear Prudence: The “Relentlessly Friendly Neighbor” Edition

Prudence is joined by Jolie Kerr, a cleaning expert, advice columnist and host of the podcast, Ask a Clean Person. We begin with a concerned letter-writer whose sister is involved with a reckless and dangerous partner on how she can remain supportive while advocate for her sister’s well being. Next, this reader just frankly doesn’t want to be friends with her eager neighbor but they’ve picked up on none of the “I don’t want to be friends” hints. And lastly, a husband of 35 years is feeling...


Dear Prudence: The “Not Your Mom” Edition

ITUNES SUMMARY: Prudence is joined by writer and self-appointed mom friend Jess Reynolds. First up, my ex and I “split the sheets” (tamer than you might think) after our career paths didn’t align, but I’m feeling drawn to him again even though I’m engaged to someone else - help! Next up, my husband expects me to do a ton of housework for his stepkids. I’m feeling underappreciated and he’s not doing his share. Can I just check into a hotel and let them sort it out? Help! Hear more Prudence...


Dear Prudence: The “Not Unconditional Love” Edition

Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help her brother who is demonstrating worrisome and creepy behavior. I’m keeping my baby, but friends don’t understand - what can I say? And lastly, I know instagram is all about putting your best self first, but I still want my own highlight...