Sorry To Hear That

RE-RELEASE Trigger warning. This episode has some discussion about suicide. Ansel speaks about his father, Charles, who passed away in 2018 from kidney and heart complications after he stopped taking his medication. Ansel discusses losing his father, navigating his new normal, and his many struggles with his “grief shroud”, a way to describe the emotions that can come over you while dealing with the loss of a loved one. Ansel recognizes that the condolences and well-wishes were well-meaning, but he wasn’t in a place to receive them. While he also better understands where patience truly comes from - as a parent and going through grief. When he asked for a sign that his father made it to heaven, he saw a red cardinal that gave him peace. His experience is similar to what Lashelle experienced in Lashelle & Linda. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE CJ speaks with Pam who lost her father, Hollis, in February. Pam discusses the relationship that she has with Hollis and how they were able to more fully develop their relationship before he died. Even though Hollis wanted a more casual memorial service, Pam and her siblings decided to have a Scottish wake. Grief has surprised Pam as she adjusts to living without her father present. References about a Scottish Wake: CUNYVisit Dunkeld We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE Join the host, CJ, as she discusses her own struggles with grief and loss after losing her mother to a car accident in 2017. Reflecting on “the fog”, the confusion of not knowing where to turn when she expected her mother to be there forever, and forgiveness are tackled in the first episode of the brand new podcast, Sorry To Hear That. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE Marcus lost his mother, Brenda, right before Christmas of his senior year of high school 17 years ago. As he has made big choices and little choices, including college, graduate school (twice), ministry, and now in his second church as a pastor - Brenda has missed a lot. The conversation with Marcus is about grief and loss, but, perhaps more importantly, also about wonder, curiosity, and the big “what if”. What if his mother had been able to see him graduate or become a pastor or preach his first sermon? We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE CJ has lost both her parents. In this episode, she talks about her father, Michael, who passed away in July 2013 as she reflects on Father’s Day. While Michael was not her biological father, he filled a hole in her heart for a very long time and smoothed away at least some of the rough edges. They had a special relationship full of long talks and a lot of time spent together. Unfortunately, after a surprise call, CJ rushed home to be with him, and by the end of the week - he died. Michael had a tragically beautiful death in that he was able to choose what he wanted to do with his last days, and CJ, even still, can reflect on that beauty in the choice. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE Meet Lashelle as she speaks with CJ about her mother, Linda. Linda had “the perfect storm with the worst outcome” after suddenly falling ill and being put on life support for 10 days. Lashelle’s life was forever changed after she received the phone call that sent her across the country to her mother’s bedside. Exploring Lashelle’s journey and uncovering the many layers that come with grief makes her story a relatable one, including using the words, “I don’t know.” We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE CJ speaks with B. Pagels-Minor (@bpagelsminor on Instagram and Twitter) about their mother, Suzi Anne Franklin who died in 2012 of complications from Epiglottitis, a swelling of the epiglottis which is a part of the mouth located near the back of the throat. This led to B. feeling as though they have much to accomplish in as little time as possible considering Suzi Anne died at the young age of 48. Dealing with their mother’s death, including the aftermath of a lawsuit with the hospital and the sort of normal business of death to close out the estate left B. feeling drained. B.’s new reality was that they were angrier and, in some ways, unable to cope with the pressures of their mother’s death for several years, but meeting their now wife and partner is what made them feel like they could and should move into a better space to address the feelings and emotions that come after a catastrophic loss. Resources: What is the Epiglottis?What is Epiglottitis?What are some treatments for EpiglottitisIf you ever need to complain or bring up an issue with your or your loved one’s medical careWhat is a health center? Howard Brown HealthYWCA ChicagoWe welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE CJ speaks with Halle Marenger as she talks about her infant daughter, Lilah. While Halle had a young son at home, she and her husband were over the moon to be expecting a little girl. She would make their little family complete, especially after 3 previous miscarriages. After many challenges and seven weeks of bed rest in the hospital, little Lilah was born on December 9, 2018, in an emergency C-section after she had stopped moving in utero. Barely 48 hours later, little Lilah died, but only after a lot of love was given to her from family near and far. In the wake of Lilah’s death, Halle has made advocacy around infertility, baby loss, and miscarriage a part of her mission as she shares her story with others by becoming a writer, speaker, and leader around this issue. Halle’s most recent article shares her thoughts about what Mother’s Day feels like after having experienced loss and miscarriage. RESOURCES: If you would like to know more about some of the subjects Halle mentioned, here are some articles to get you started: ACOG guidelinesAmniSure by QiagenChildren’s Hospital of PhiladelphiaMayo Clinic article explaining placental abruption We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE ABOUT CJ’S DIARY CJ’s Diary is an episode where she discusses some of her thoughts from an interview or happenings in the world that may change the way we interact with the stories being told on the podcast. CJ’s Diary will evolve over time and is an opportunity to hear her unabashed thoughts. ABOUT THIS EPISODE OF SORRY TO HEAR THAT This week CJ discusses Mother’s Day in CJ’s Diary. It has been almost three years since she lost her mother and preparing for an Instagram takeover with Surviving Our Parents (@survivingourparents) during the next week has inspired some thoughts and ideas about what Mother’s Day, coming on May 15, will look like and feel like. This also comes with acknowledging that sometimes complicated feelings of jealousy, anger, and sadness will come to the forefront, sometimes in situations that don’t make a lot of sense. MENTIONS I’m CJ WilliamsMarcus & BrendaHallmark commercial We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE Kim, co-host of the podcast Millenial Vibes, joins CJ to talk about her father, Kenneth. Their relationship was and is special - she’s daddy’s little girl through and through. Her father lost his eyesight because of a tumor that began on his retina which caused him to go blind shortly after a risky surgery. The last time he saw Kim physically, she was 10 years old. Through it all, Kim thought of her father as her “Superman” and, unfortunately, the tumor that took his sight ultimately took his life. Kim struggles with understanding her new place in the world without her father while also newly experiencing panic and anxiety attacks, grief that doesn’t allow her to get out of bed, and dealing with the business of death while her mother cries. She’s had to deal with death before, but not at this level. Join CJ as she talks with Kim about who her father was, who she was, and who she is now. Transcript We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE Luke has known grief for a long time and CJ speaks with him about his parents, Thomas and Cynthia. Thomas passed away from cancer in 2009, and a few short years later, in 2012, Cynthia passed away for fairly unknown reasons. While his father came as a shock to his system, his mother was his true support. Her passing away so suddenly both had and has made him critically change the way he interacts with the world, his own life and life expectancy, and even change the way he celebrates the holidays, much like Ansel and Charles. With a new baby on the way, Luke has had to grapple with how to share his parents, his heritage, and his life without the support of either parent to share that lost knowledge. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

RE-RELEASE Chris’ brother, Derrick, was just 53 years old when he suffered a sudden stroke. While scary and unexpected, Derrick seemed to be on the mend in the hospital. Then suddenly, while still in the hospital, Derrick suffered a heart attack. Seven days later, Chris and his mom made the decision to take Derrick off of life support. Chris speaks with CJ about his brother, Derrick, and how he has had to learn how to deal with the aftermath of his brother’s death — figuring out how to come back after a life-altering event like this and learning where his inner strength comes from. While Chris realizes that in life, he and Derrick were not that close, in Derrick’s passing - he was a role model both for himself and for others. Unfortunately, he cannot share that realization with the person he wants to know the most - his brother, Derrick. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

This week on Sorry To Hear That, Crystal AC Salas - poet, writer, and teacher - reflects on her Abuelito aka ‘Ito, Serafin, and her Uncle/Tío, Miguel aka Mike. Their passings were similar but different - needing family to advocate for stays in the hospital - but one was in the hospital during COVID and the other was not. Their treatment by health professionals and their ability to show them love by the family also was different. Grief is complicated, disorienting, and confusing. Crystal’s discussion with CJ definitely shows that. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

CJ comes back with Season 2 of Sorry To Hear That. In the first episode of the season, CJ explores how to be curious, curiosity in grief, and what grief might be like if we put ourselves in others' shoes to better learn about ourselves on the grief journey. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

Welcome to the Best Of Sorry To Hear That. While on hiatus, once a month an old episode that was most listened to will be put back in your feed to catch you up in case you missed it. This month is Chris and Derrick. Listen to his story. Chris’ brother, Derrick, was just 53 years old when he suffered a sudden stroke. While scary and unexpected, Derrick seemed to be on the mend in the hospital. Then suddenly, while still in the hospital, Derrick suffered a heart attack. Seven days later,...

Welcome to the Best Of Sorry To Hear That. While on hiatus, once a month an old episode that was most listened to will be put back in your feed to catch you up in case you missed it. This month is Pam and Hollis. Listen to her story. CJ Williams speaks with Pam who lost her father, Hollis, in February. Pam discusses the relationship that she has with Hollis and how they were able to more fully develop their relationship before he died. Even though Hollis wanted a more casual memorial...

Welcome to the Best Of Sorry To Hear That. While on hiatus, once a month an old episode that was most listened to will be put back in your feed to catch you up in case you missed it. This month is Halle and Lilah, also honoring October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Listen to her story. CJ Williams speaks with Halle Marenger as she talks about her infant daughter, Lilah. While Halle had a young son at home, she and her husband were over the moon to be expecting a little...

As a podcaster, business owner, and wife, CJ Williams reflects on what this season of Sorry To Hear That has brought to enrich her life. The next season of Sorry To Hear That will have more stories and a revamp of the format to better showcase the guests and what the overall goals of the show are. Sorry To Hear That will return in early 2021. Until then, a “Best of” will be released each month - a replay of some of the best episodes. See you in 2021. Learn more about the show at sorrytohearpodcast.com

This week CJ Williams reflects on the first and second seasons of After Life, a show on Netflix that stars Ricky Gervais. He plays a character named Tony that has lost his wife, Lisa, to breast cancer. Each episode begins with Tony watching a video of Lisa where she tells him something important or gives him a reminder. The show may reflect some lived experiences in the community of grievers and those that support them. CJ discusses therapy, feelings of anger that may come out of nowhere, being spoken to by random strangers, and developing a superpower. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ

In this bonus episode, CJ gets to speak with Jules from the blog GotGuts08 about what it is like to lose her grandparents, not even 60 days apart, during COVID. Her grandparents, both living in Assisted Living Facilities (ALF) in South Florida had been ill for a while. Jules and her family would spend as much time as they could heading to Miami to be able to spend the time with them that they could. Even prior to COVID, there was a question of “Would this be the last time?” So after COVID placed the entire world in a different operating state, Jules and her family saw from afar first her grandmother’s decline and eventual death and then her grandfather’s. Read more about Jules' grief and loss on her blog. CJ and Jules get to talk about what grief is and what a funeral (or two) is like during COVID when social distancing and masks are the norm - not the exception. We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at sorrytohearpodcast@gmail.com. Instagram (@SorryToHearPod) Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen. Hosted by: CJ