The Delicious Truth Podcast

As season 3 comes to an end, we unwind and reflect on what has been a season that promotes self-care. From topics such as being your own best ally, to showing people who you are, to talking about putting yourself first, each episode was constructed as a building block in the complexity of what self-care is. This season has been a roller coaster of emotions. We had light hearted moments in episodes in which we shared laughs, but we have also had tough but necessary conversations such as calling out and stopping the code of silence on child abuse. Join my guest Brandies Mevaa and I, as we reflect on season 3, and discuss what this season meant to us. Special Guest: Brandies Mevaa.

Learning to say no is an important skill to possess, not only will it save you from headaches and emotional stress in the long run, it is an important tool used to set your personal boundaries and enables others to have a clear understanding of what they can expect from you. However, we must also learn to say no in a gracious or polite manner that will not hinder our relationships with others. We can do this by simply explaining that we currently don't have the bandwidth to complete a task they are asking us to complete, or by referring someone you may know and is capable of completing said task. Join us on this week’s episode as we talk about the importance of saying no graciously, the steps you should follow when saying no, and when we should say no to someone.

Join us in this week’s episode as we speak on a very heavy topic, in which we discuss the code of silence. What needs to change and how we can become allies to those whom have been victims of any form sexual assault. The code of silence is something that has gone on for way too long and needs to be broken. Many times, victims have stayed silent about the assault they have gone through because of fear tactics. What is sad, is that sometimes these tactics are applied by family members rather than the offender themselves. Mothers, grandmothers, brothers, sisters, and uncles, at times tell the victim not to speak out and protect the offender with excuses such as “we don't want to start any family drama”, “if this person finds out they will kill them and then he’ll go to jail.” It’s time to stop this behavior that puts pressure on an individual that is already going through a lot of emotions as it is. It's time to encourage victims to speak out, it’s time to tell them they did nothing wrong by speaking out, it’s time to protect victims and make them feel safe, it’s time to side with the victims and not the offenders. If you or anyone you may know have been victims of sexual assault, I want you to know you are not alone. Although there are wonds that will never fully heal, listed below ther are some recourses that can be helpful. ORGANIZATIONS National Center for Victims of Crime. https://victimsofcrime.org/ RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) https://www.rainn.org/ American SPCC (American Society for the Positive Care of Children). https://americanspcc.org/sexual-child-abuse/ The Children’s Assessment Center (Houston Texas). https://cachouston.org/prevention/child-sexual-abuse-facts/ BOOKS: Unbound – My Story of Liberation and the Birth of The Me Too Movement by Tarana Burke Know My Name: A Memoir by Chanel Miller THERAPISTS T2S Enterprises info@t2senterprises.com (888) 718-2T2S @t2senterprises on social media VIDEOS RAINN: https://www.rainn.org/ Darkness to Light: https://www.d2l.org/ CASA: https://nationalcasagal.org/ The National Child Traumatic Stress Network: https://www.nctsn.org/ My siblings and I have a very dysfunctional relationship which stems from our childhood family therapy is ideal However, all parties are not ready for this format. - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/213472924025818 (51:42) I have a friend that is open in talking about their childhood trauma with me. They rage from physical, emotional, to sexual abuse he often states states that he wonders why he was the only sibling to have all this happen to, from their father and fathers friend. He sought out therapy in the past but encountered non ethical behavior from the therapist so he is now reluctant to try again. He is seeking a relationship and is a really good guy but I wonder if he is emotionally available. How can I support him? - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/150771837146105 (6:48) My biological father sexually abused me as a child. I have kept this information to myself for the past 3 decades. I finally spoke up and told my family this year. But my older brother still expects me to forgive our father and embrace him. I am having a tough time with this especially with fathers day approaching how do I handle this? - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/917829219065580 (31:18) My husband and I struggle with intimacy mainly due to his past traumas with childhood sexual abuse and my body image issues. We both struggle to initate sex. How can we work on this together? - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/148264157354952 (51:00)

With people always trying to tell us who we are or who we should be, it becomes hard at times to remember who we are. However, it is important not only knowing who you are, but standing in your own power. No one must believe in yourself more than you, no one should be invested in yourself more than you. Believe in who you are and what you are capable of, and stray away from the disease of “yeah-but-atitus”. The crippling disease that puts self doubt in your mind like “Yeah I wanted to try doing this but…” “YeahI’ve been meaning to get this done but…”. Although the “buts” should be thought of, they should not be thought of so much that they serve as a barrier to getting something you know you are capable of accomplishing. Join us in this week's episode, as we discuss standing in the power of knowing and showing who we are.

Decluttering can bring a ton of health benefits to our lives. For example it can reduce stress and anxiety levels, reduce dust, mold, and mildew among other things that are toxic to our health. Just like decluttering our homes, decluttering our life and mind can be just as beneficial for us. We need to declutter the people, thoughts or things that bring negativity to our life. These can be things that brought us joy at one point or another, but are now hindering us from having a peace of mind. By removing said people, thoughts or items, we are in return making room for new things to come. Like the saying goes “out with the old and in with the new”. We need people in our lives that can be our allies, that want what's best for us physically, emotionally and mentally, and what better ally can we ask for than ourselves. Join us in this week’s episode as we discuss allyship, being your best ally, as well as decluttering our lives.

Join us on this week’s episode as we discuss self-care from a physical, emotional,mental and spiritual standpoint, why it is important and what are some ways we can practice self-care. Before we can begin to talk about self-care, we need to stop and ask ourselves what is self-care? Self-care is a process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and promotes well-being. With that said, there are different parts of self-care that we have to pay attention to. These are: mental, physical, emotional, social and spiritual. The reason why it is important for us to pay attention to all of these parts, is because they all interact or affect one another. For example, if we neglect our physical well-being, this may cause our health to deteriorate and in return affect our mental or emotional well-being. Viceversa, if we neglect our mental or emotional well-being, this may cause us to not want to put in the effort required to take care of our physical care. We need to practice all of the different points of self-care, to be in perfect balance with ourselves. Tune in, and get a dose of this delicious truth. You know you want to.

Despite the negative sentiment about putting yourself first, it is the best thing you can do for yourself and those you love. Befriend yourself, become your best ally. Putting yourself first means loving yourself, taking care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. By being able to take care of yourself first, you are then able to care for others. We become more productive and overall happier and better people. Think about it like this, you have two cars, one has gotten their oil changed and gotten tuned up regularly, and the other has neglected their maintenance. Which one do you think will be in better working condition? Just like in this example, we cannot neglect our well being, we have to take care of ourselves in order to be healthy. Join us on this week’s episode, as we discuss why it is important to become your best friend and ally, and some of the ways that you can do just that.

There are messages all around us, whether they are verbal or nonverbal. These messages help shape and mold us into who we are. As children, hopefully, our parents gave us the message of unconditional love, and appreciation, which in return would shape us to be compassionate, caring, kind, and loving. As adults, we continue to receive messages, however, it is important to give self messages. Messages that tell us we are more than enough, that we are more than capable, that we are more than good. Join us on this week’s episode as we discuss the importance of messages received and messages given. How they affect our mental and emotional state, and what we can do to make a positive difference in the world.

With everything going on in the world, being grateful is something that many people forget to be. However, sometimes we have to look even in bad situations that we may be going through, in order to find the positive in which you are grateful for. We can be grateful for an opportunity that we may have, for our mental and emotional health, for having a roof over our head. However we can also be grateful for something we did for others. For example grateful that we had food to be able to provide for someone who didn’t. Being grateful is a state of mind that brings you peace and empowers you. In this episode we will be talking about gratitude and how this mentality changes your outlook on life.

Whether we notice it or not, our ancestors play a vital role in our identity. They have laid the foundation for who we are. They provide us with the wisdom to help us navigate through life and our problems. They also provide us with the confidence created by the safety net from showing us unconditional love. Sometimes it takes us longer to accept their wisdom or to acknowledge it. This is because our innocence of ignorance as youth makes us think that we know it all, but the reality is, if we pay attention and listen we would gain the wisdom that our ancestors have gathered for years if not from generation to generation. In this episode, we will discuss the wisdom of our ancestors and the beauty of family. We will also discuss the four things that our ancestors provide for us when they are living in their purpose.

The word privilege has become such a negative word in today's society. However, privilege itself isn't bad, what makes privilege bad is what you decide to do with it. You can be born into having the privilege of being financially stable or wealthy, however if you use such privilege to help those around you, then you are using your privilege as a tool to better the world, you are using it to give individuals the opportunity to obtain their own privilege that they might have been denied if you hadn't help them. We can only be aware of our privileges if we analyze them and admit to ourselves that we enjoy these privileges. Only then can we use it to help others. In this episode, we will discuss ways we can analyze our privilege and what we can do to convert them into a leveraging tool to get one step closer to equality.

"If I know who I AM, then they can't tell me who I am." Self-acknowledgement is the biggest gift you can give yourself, it is a tool of self-empowerment that no one can take from you. We often get so consumed by the fast pace of life that we live in, that we begin to forget WHO WE ARE because we are so wrapped up in WHAT WE DO. We must take time out of our day to acknowledge ourselves, validate ourselves and most importantly love ourselves. As children, we are conditioned to start thinking what we want to be when we grow up, a lawyer, a doctor, an astronaut. However, we are not conditioned to start thinking WHO we want to be, or start noticing who we are. An abundance of kindness, compassion, helpfulness, love, strength, and resilience are just as valuable as how much you make. During this episode I will be sharing the importance of knowing who you are as a person, and the importance of sharing the gift of self with the world. I will also discuss why we should pay attention to the messages life gives you in your youth for telltale signs of who you are. Listen in.

The News is important. It tells us trivial things like, the prize winning hog at the state fair and things of monumental importance, like all things COVID-19. But for some of us, the news can be a trigger. The reality is that for minorities, oppressed and marginalized groups of people day-to-day life can be triggering. The news just makes us ALL aware of some of the things that are happening, whether they directly or indirectly impact us. The reactions to community violence, murder by “bad-apple” cops, child abuse and sexual assault are as varied as the American population. The lack of compassion for those who are “different” from the dominant culture is disheartening, but it isn’t a new phenomenon. The denial of systemic oppression and racism is an important tool in sustainability of the dominant culture of white male supremacy. It’s a wonder why those of us that aren’t in, perpetuating and benefitting from that culture haven’t burned this country down. One of the most powerful literary geniuses was Maya Angelou. So much of her work is timeless. “You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise.” During this episode I’ll be sharing the often discounted and unacknowledged strengths of all people who have been marginalized and particularly of Black people. How, despite the barriers,… We rise. We rise to the challenges, as well as the opportunities, and we still exercise joy and embrace hope . Listen in.

2020 has been a year like no other year in the history of our nation. It brought with its pandemics a huge weight upon our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits. Is it any wonder that people are dying in their spirits even if they aren't dying in their bodies? We see this clearly in the rising evidence of mental instability in ourselves and others. As we wrap up this season I do hope that despite how hard 2020 has been for us all, that you felt empowered by the guest featured on each and every episode of season two. My hope was that we would acknowledge the problems and pains and provide pathways to healing, and to joy. So I thank YOU! I thank you for listening, sharing, and applying what you have learned from these last two seasons. I look forward to connecting with you again, in season three of The Delicious Truth. As always, there is a hug in your future, if you want one! XOXO Glo

My favorite artist and poet is no other than THEE MICHAEL JACKSON. When my next guest and I planned this episode, I couldn't help but think of Michael's song Man in the Mirror. There is a TV show called "What would you do?" When something wrong is happening, even when there are many people around, there is rarely an instance where all the onlookers get involved. This is called the Bystander effect. Everyone just assumes that someone else will do it. I'd take that and go a step further. Either we believe someone else will do it, or we are too afraid of what doing it will cost us. No matter what side of racism we stand on, neither side can be complicit. We gotta change. But what does that mean exactly. Well, our guest on this episode of the delicious truth helps us unpack the why behind our inaction and how we can change. I am so excited to introduce you to André Robert Lee. André is a public speaker ON TOPICS RELATED TO issues OF Anti-Racism, Inclusion, and Diversity for educational and corporate institutions. André directed and produced The Prep School Negro and took it on a worldwide tour over the past 10 years. He served as producer on the documentary, I’m Not Racist…Am I? André received a Fellowship in 2013, and was tasked with Directing and Producing the 12-month series, Life Cycles of Inequity: A Colorlines Series on Black Men. he later created The Election Effects Project for Spike TV. André’s next film project is titled, Virtually Free. He directed this story about incarcerated youth in Richmond, Virginia. Special Guest: André Robert Lee.

Back in June, Harvard Business Review published the following fact. "From 1619 to 1965, this country had laws, policies, and practices — from slavery to Jim Crow to redlining — that legally separated white and Black people in an attempt to maintain a white supremacist society. The inhumanity required for people to function in such a society — to dehumanize others and be dehumanized — has left its mark on our nation and, by extension, our organizations in innumerable ways." - Ben Hecht A few of the most common ways we see it are in hiring, compensation, and advancement, and retention. We know these because of all of the "diversity & inclusion" programs set in place in companies across America. However, there are many silent systems that often go undetected that keep the status quo. Not only is our guest today actively working to help organizations address these structures, he actively works to address them in his own organization. Scott Hoesman is the Founder of Inquest Consulting, a consulting organization that helps individuals, teams, and organizations think, lead, and interact inclusively. Scott has been doing this work for 23 years. Before COVID Scott dedicated 40% of his time with Global leaders helping global leaders understand how Diversity and Inclusion thinking can transform their organizations. Go ahead and listen. It's delicious, I promise. Special Guest: Scott Hoesman.

When the “New North America” was established, it was clear that black people were not human or equal to white people, even after the civil rights movement. Consequently the architects of society had a non-inclusive cultural standard to adhere to when developing our society. This is where bias comes in. When power and bais marry, they produce systemic racism. All of the systems of our society were built by white men. Our criminal justice system, employment system, housing system, health care system, political system, education system, etc... Even well intentioned folks have built systems that exclude the interest of all that weren’t granted a seat at the table. The side effect being all of the infamous ISMs and phobias. Institutional racism, also known as systemic racism, is a form of racism that is embedded as normal practice within society or an organization. It can lead to such issues as discrimination in criminal justice, employment, housing, health care, political power, and education, among other issues. We are currently experiencing another moment, where the issues of race and injustices are visible enough for everyone to pay attention. The key being everyone. People of color experience it every day. While not all are a visible and clear as the murder of George Floyd, they show up in a way that steals peace and joy from not only those who experience racial acts directly but all of us. Our guest today is a wonderful and accomplished human being and he is also a gentleman. Howard Ross, is the author of ReInventing Diversity: Transforming Organizational Community to Strengthen People, Purpose and Performance, (published by Rowman and Littlefield in conjunction with SHRM in 2011), and the Washington Post best seller, Everyday Bias: Identifying and Navigating Unconscious Judgments in Our Daily Lives, (published by Rowman and Littlefield in 2014). His latest book, Our Search for Belonging: How Our Need to Connect is Tearing Us Apart, was released by Berrett-Koehler in May of 2018. On this episode of The Delicious Truth, Howard helps us understand the real danger in bias and how we can recognize it, own and manage it. You don’t want to miss this. Special Guest: Howard Ross.

Have you ever said or thought that you could be great if only a certain part of you would let you? Maybe a phrase like, “I don’t know why I keep letting this partner back in my life? I’m never going to find love.” or “I could be healthy, but I can’t seem to stop eating the wrong things.” Usually these thoughts are pretty normal and can begin a dialogue about restoring one's power and sense of self. But when we are addressing larger dysfunctions like eating disorders, addiction, phobias etc.. the exchange between your favored self and the part of you that you have identified as your hated self are at odds and prevents health. That is why Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is such a powerful tool. It is a process that allows us to address every part of ourselves with respect, because we recognize that our inner parts contain valuable qualities and our “Core Self” knows how to heal, allowing us to become integrated and whole. Listen, we can’t possibly act in love for others if we don’t know how to love and honor our full selves. Our guest today Madeleine Warren is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), specializing in the area of trauma recovery. She completed her graduate studies and counseling internship at Northwestern University's Family Institute, and worked for ten years in Community Mental Health as an outpatient therapist, while maintaining a private practice. She will share how IFS therapy is a powerful tool that can be used to help us to heal ourselves, prevent causing long term harm to our loved ones and live a life filled with more joy. Tune in, you don’t want to miss this one. Special Guest: Madeleine Warren, LCPC, LMFT.

Humans seem to be obsessed with labels. The idea that you look at a certain pronoun, assign it a proper label which comes with a certain definition. With these labels and definitions we expect that these pronouns would mostly adhere to their respective labels. It’s either this OR that. Rarely do we accept pronouns that are this label and AND something else. Women are this, men are that. Cats are like this, dogs are like that. Americans are this, Africans are that. Christians are this, Atheist are that. People of color are this, white people are that. Any behavior or label in addition to the predetermined label being added is “Unnatural.” And you know how people treat things deemed unnatural. The fascinating thing about this behavior is that humans are constantly evolving and there is so much left to be discovered in the world. What we know about any given thing today is limited to now. That is why labels are such a problem. They are severely limited to whatever was known at the time that the label and subsequent definition was assigned. The result has led us to two kinds of people. Those of us who fight to ensure that “natural” is protected and those of us who fight to challenge what it means to be natural. I think what is better than fighting is embracing “AND,” and leaving behind “OR.” If we only acknowledged the fact that nothing is an absolute we can embrace the limitless possibilities for any and everything. On this episode our guest knows first hand what it means to live within one's labels and to test the boundaries but not shedding them but adding to them. David has extensive experience strategically partnering with individuals, teams, and organizations to heighten effectiveness by enhancing communication and deepening understanding of the legal, financial, cultural, and/or dynamic issues at play. Please join us as he shares his journey in searching for AND in a World of OR. Special Guest: David Stone.

Racism is defined as a prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized. By that definition, anyone, even those in the majority can suffer from racism. That is not the case. Racism is only effective because of its power to impact the lives of people on a systemic level. People of color aren’t upset about the aforementioned definition, it’s the real definition that keeps us fighting for equality and equity. Racism is the marginalization and/or oppression of people of color based on a socially constructed racial hierarchy that privileges white people. For most people of color this isn’t a definition that is hard to wrap your head around, but believe it or not, many of our white brothers and sisters find the idea that they benefit from the color of their skin and have more “privilege” in our society than people of color is offensive. The challenge here is that they think that the presence of privilege removes the struggle from their journey. With all that has happened to people of color in America, it’s hard to believe that some people still deny the truth. On this episode, we are speaking to my friend, my sister who, in her words, is a recovering racist. Join us as she shares her journey from believing what she was raised to believe to seeing the world for exactly what it is. Pat Lange, is a wife, mom, grandmother, volunteer, leader and budding social activist. She is the former director of Marriage Initiatives at Kensington Church. Former business trainer, program developer and consultant. She has a strong automotive background both as an employee of GM and as a trainer to the Big Three. Pat grew up in suburban Detroit and now lives and leads in Traverse City, Michigan. Special Guest: Pat Lange.