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Conflict and Resolution

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Get better conflict resolution results with science-based, field-tested conflict resolution strategies and inspiration from this professional mediator, conflict resolution teacher, coach, and author.

Get better conflict resolution results with science-based, field-tested conflict resolution strategies and inspiration from this professional mediator, conflict resolution teacher, coach, and author.
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Location:

United States

Description:

Get better conflict resolution results with science-based, field-tested conflict resolution strategies and inspiration from this professional mediator, conflict resolution teacher, coach, and author.

Twitter:

@tammylenski

Language:

English

Contact:

603-203-6630


Episodes

5 impactful questions for handling difficult moments

4/10/2018
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Most difficult conversations ebb and flow between good progress and difficult moments, those times it’s a challenge to access our best selves and skills. Here are five common difficult moments and five powerful questions to help you through them. Show notes The value of silence in difficult conversations How to politely stop long-winded talkers About […] The post 5 impactful questions for handling difficult moments was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:07:20

Is the overconfidence effect sabotaging your communication?

3/27/2018
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The overconfidence effect is a natural bias toward believing that we’re better at something than we actually are. The overconfidence effect can distort belief in the accuracy of a strong memory, estimations of how long it will take to get things done, judgment about our intelligence compared to others, and even the reliability of eyewitness […] The post Is the overconfidence effect sabotaging your communication? was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:05:48

An effortless way to more accurately discern others emotions

3/13/2018
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Being able to accurately discern someone’s emotional state is an essential conflict resolution skill. But even with both good will and skill, we have a fair chance of guessing wrong. Recent research suggests that when it comes to accurately figuring out what someone else is feeling, there’s one thing we can do that boosts our […] The post An effortless way to more accurately discern others emotions was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:08:10

How to backpedal after saying the wrong thing

2/27/2018
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When words come out of your mouth that you instantly regret, here are some ways to recover from your faux pas and minimize the impact of ill-chosen words. Show notes About trigger stacking Bad Tammy The time I cursed at a mediation client Want a transcript of this episode? Transcripts of podcast episodes are available […] The post How to backpedal after saying the wrong thing was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:04:25

The communication method that makes disagreements worse

1/30/2018
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For almost two decades I’ve advised clients to avoid email and texting when tension grows in their important personal or business relationships. Is my advice still credible in an era permeated by technology? A new study offers updated insight. Show notes Allen Gannett’s “call me” experiment The humanizing voice: Speech reveals, and text conceals The […] The post The communication method that makes disagreements worse was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:04:55

Spark a shift in perspective with this question

1/16/2018
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It’s hard to get fresh perspective about our situation or the other person when we’re trapped inside a conflict. This simple question is excellent for tempering our certainty, engaging our curiosity, and sparking a shift in perspective when we need it most. Want a transcript of this episode? Transcripts of podcast episodes are available to […] The post Spark a shift in perspective with this question was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:03:08

The Picasso trick for better problem solving

1/2/2018
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When we become too wedded to our own solutions, conflict resolution conversations can get pretty stuck. Here’s a trick of the mind to help us stay flexible (even when we’re sure our solution is brilliant), courtesy of Pablo Picasso. This episode is brought to you by Reach inside a professional mediator’s toolbox to spark breakthroughs, […] The post The Picasso trick for better problem solving was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:06:22

When it seems trivial, pay more attention

12/19/2017
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When you’re tempted to dismiss someone’s concerns as trivial, or roll your eyes at the things people find to fight over, it’s time to sit up straight and pay attention. Because you’re missing something…and it’s worth your while to figure out what. This episode is brought to you by The Conflict Resolution Toolbox Reach inside […] The post When it seems trivial, pay more attention was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:04:11

Conflict and the misattribution of arousal

12/7/2017
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This episode is brought to you by The Conflict Resolution Toolbox Reach inside a professional mediator’s toolbox to spark breakthroughs, build consensus, and preserve important relationships at work and home. Learn more Picture yourself stepping out to cross the Capilano Canyon Bridge in Vancouver. It’s 230 feet high, 450 feet long, and it sways in […] The post Conflict and the misattribution of arousal was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:06:48

Think straight in an argument with these 4 quick techniques

11/21/2017
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When we feel overwhelmed by a difficult conversation, we can get emotionally swamped and lose access to our good conflict resolution, communication, and problem-solving skills. Here are four quick techniques you can use when conflict muddles your thinking and you want your good skills back. Show notes Source of Adam Robinson’s story 4-corner breathing meditation […] The post Think straight in an argument with these 4 quick techniques was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy...

Duration:00:05:16

The question that ends hamster wheel debates

11/7/2017
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Some debates, arguments, and bickering go on and on, without leading anywhere (except to more frustration). If you find yourself in this kind of debate, or are trying to stop others caught in one, here s a single question that s almost magical in its power to help. Show notes More about “stoppers” More about being “hangry” […] The post The question that ends hamster wheel debates was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:06:57

Future-proof an agreement with a premortem

10/24/2017
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When we’ve put in effort to solve a problem, we want our solution, decision, or agreement to have every chance at long-run success. Here’s a powerful way to improve our plan’s ability to stand the test of time: Go back to the future and test it with a premortem. Show notes Prospective hindsight original research […] The post Future-proof an agreement with a premortem was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:07:46

Anxiety about a difficult conversation? Try this.

10/10/2017
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Pressure-filled situations like difficult conversations tax our working memory. That’s bad news, since working memory is crucial for reasoning, concentration, and understanding. But here’s the good news: There’s a specific type of brief writing activity that can both reduce anxiety about and boost performance under pressure. Show notes Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain […] The post Anxiety about a difficult conversation? Try this. was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy...

Duration:00:05:48

The space between

10/2/2017
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There s a space that changes form and scale as we navigate our personal and business relationships. It s the space between us, narrowing and softening when things are going well, widening and hardening in times of tension. The quality of our relationships, the degree of our happiness, and the success of our solutions are all influenced […] The post The space between was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:04:47

Why you should make a habit of repeating this question

9/18/2017
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Our solutions are only as good as our understanding of the problem. There’s a good question we can use to help discover a problem’s roots. And we can turn it into an even better question by employing it liberally — more liberally than most of us naturally do. Show notes About Taiichi Ohno at Toyota […] The post Why you should make a habit of repeating this question was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:06:34

Join the resistance

9/6/2017
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When we notice resistance, a typical response is to try persuading them out of their resistance. But that approach often causes more resistance, as they defend against our pushing. When we want to overcome resistance, there s a better way. Show notes The typical response to resistance (cartoon) A better approach to resistance (cartoon) Want a […] The post Join the resistance was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:04:44

Fear is the enemy of apology

8/22/2017
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One reason apologies feel hard to offer is that they're colored by fear -- fear of feeling shame, fear of feeling judged, fear of offering an olive branch that is not returned. To apologize, we must find ways to anticipate not only what will go wrong, but what also what could go right. Show notes Stepping up to difficult conversations (4-part series) Catastrophizing Real but not true The post Fear is the enemy of apology was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:03:43

When people problems can be solved by tweaking the situation

8/8/2017
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Sometimes the best fix for behavior problems isn't to address the behavior itself. Sometimes the most effective solution is to change the situation. Situation and system problems regularly masquerade as behavior problems, and unless you know how to tell the difference, you can waste a whole lot of energy trying to get someone to change. Show notes calmcoolandcollected.com The post When people problems can be solved by tweaking the situation was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on...

Duration:00:05:12

When contract negotiations get stuck, be sure you do this

7/25/2017
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It's not news that understanding the other person's key interests is a crucial skill for your negotiation skills toolbox. I knew that when I went into the contract negotiation in the following story...and I almost blew it anyway. It took a question born out of desperation to teach me that some interests can be elusive, surprising, and even downright unbelievable. Want a transcript of this episode? Transcripts are available to my subscribers, who receive them automatically by email every...

Duration:00:04:54

Walking a mile in their shoes may actually be harmful to you

7/11/2017
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Are you in a career where the ability to show empathy is important? New research suggests that how you arrive at empathy is as important as being empathetic. And that old adage about developing empathy by walking a mile in their shoes may actually increase your burnout potential. Want a transcript of this episode? Transcripts […] The post Walking a mile in their shoes may actually be harmful to you was written by Tammy Lenski and appeared first on Tammy Lenski.

Duration:00:04:33

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