Your Stories Dont Define You, How You Tell Them Will-logo

Your Stories Dont Define You, How You Tell Them Will

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22: An Unlikely Foundation for Optimism

5/22/2018
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When she was a teenager, Jennifer Heflin overheard a conversation between her parents that gave her the impression the only way to succeed in business is to be aggressive, unkind, and ruthless. That was the story she told herself as she completed her MBA at Wharton, and started her career on Wall Street. It stuck with her so deeply that she left Wall Street because she simply didn't have that cutthroat attitude and the environment didn't work for her. As she started to process her career,...

Duration:00:37:53

21: Your History is Your Story; It Doesn't Have to Be Your Future

5/15/2018
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Shelley Beth Brown is one of those creative people that, when we first meet her, we assume has always thrived in creative environments. Her writing is whimsical, raw, and full of childhood imagination. I asked her to be a guest on the podcast because I knew there was a lot to her history, and how her family and early career shaped her incredible storytelling. It turns out that we have one thing in common in our childhood: Our families had a similar definition of success that included...

Duration:00:30:12

20: Every Event Tells A Story

5/8/2018
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Suzanne Spaner and I have a few things in common, but the one I enjoy chatting with her the most about is our event planning and hospitality experience. You see, anyone who has ever worked in that industry, including restaurants, is guaranteed to have great stories to share. It occurred to me that at some point in their lives, nearly every person is tasked with planning an event of some kind. It could be a child's birthday party, a wedding, a meeting, a conference, or even a basic dinner...

Duration:00:49:21

19: Your "Why" Doesn't Matter

5/1/2018
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This may be controversial... I think seeking your "why" is overrated, and not particularly helpful in finding happiness and fulfillment. Distilling what you believe down to a basic, clear concept is important, but when you think about it, your "why" is likely pretty similar to the people you admire and spend time with. It's your "what" that is your unique value proposition, not your "why". I wrote about finding my "what", and the lightning bolt I experienced as a result. Discovering my...

Duration:00:05:04

18: The Stories You Share Define You

4/24/2018
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When Kyle Burt shared the story of creating a roller hockey team from scratch at Arizona State University, and how he did it, I was immediately intrigued. This is far less common than I used to think: Some people do what they say they're going to do. And they dive head first into whatever it is, there's no toe-dipping for people like that. As soon as I heard Kyle's story, I knew a few things about his character. He told the story with some level of humor and humility, not taking all the...

Duration:00:30:49

17: Struggle Stories Help Define Patterns

4/17/2018
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After two years in the position, I found myself standing in the bathroom with a tear-stained face... again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I make this work? I'm not a particularly emotional person and yet, here I was with swollen eyes and runny nose... again. Why was I letting my boss get to me like this? This wasn't the first time I found myself struggling with an abusive boss in a bad environment. Just two positions before this one I had another abusive boss. As I stood looking in...

Duration:00:10:36

16: Road Trip Stories to Build Relationships

4/10/2018
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It was just a short road trip for our younger son, Max, and me, just around 1.5 hours for a spring break spontaneous getaway, but I took advantage of our time alone together to record this podcast. We've done quite a lot of traveling with our two boys, via air and car, and have made incredible memories. The one thing that makes a road trip different from any other kind of travel is the long hours in the car together, with little distraction, and lots of opportunity for frustration,...

Duration:00:15:28

15: Music and Stories: Lessons Easily Applied to Life

4/3/2018
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Being agreeable meant going with whatever mix happened to be in Ranjith's in-ear monitor when he started playing in his church band. That meant that sometimes during rehearsal and performance, Ranjith couldn't hear each musician playing with him, and that sometimes he couldn't discern percussion from bass, vocals from his keyboard. When he decided to try adjusting the mix, and not just going with whatever was coming through his small earbud, he was suddenly aware of what he was missing....

Duration:00:28:07

14: Stories as Lessons for What NOT to Do

3/27/2018
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Sometimes our biggest models in behavior are the worst ones, and if we are paying attention and can stop the patterns in our lives, we can learn who we don't want in be. How many times have you spoken to a child and thought "oh shit! That was my mother's voice! I swore I'd never say THAT."? You make a decision, then and there, never to do it again. But you do, probably a few more times before the lesson sinks in. The best managers, leaders, and yes, parents, are the ones who have had...

Duration:00:46:04

13: Stories Shared Create Safe Space

3/20/2018
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Nicole Herbig and her Reborn partner are acutely aware of the different world they're experiencing as a result of growing up not only as digital natives, but at the cusp of another industrial revolution. Her story isn't unique in that many young people have experience with mental health issues in their families. But her story is unique in that she sees this online social world for the impacts it's having on her peers, and she's doing something about it. In this episode, Nicole and I...

Duration:00:45:45

12: Your Value is Yours to Define

3/13/2018
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Arminda Lindsay is a force. She's a force of integrity, love, and inner strength. That's because she knows who she is, what drives her, and that she does Arminda better than anyone else could. She wasn't always this way. Her life isn't all roses and sunshine; it took her a long time to come to the point of trusting herself and her instincts enough to bring her whole self to every environment. This is a large part of what makes her such a good coach. In this podcast, Arminda shares a...

Duration:00:38:03

11: Even in Dreams, Stories Offer Opportunity for Self Reflection

3/6/2018
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In this week’s podcast, I share a few dreams I have, both asleep and awake. You’ll notice the link between my sleeping dream-stories and my waking stories, and how I interpret what those stories tell me about my own thoughts, otherwise not so transparent to me. Interpreting sleeping dreams are just one of many ways to encourage self-reflection, and I’m a big believer in self-reflection as the most important tool for growth. If your dreams are trying to tell you that you're stressed,...

Duration:00:09:16

10: So, You Think You're a Good Manager?

2/27/2018
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Joe Kwon thought he was a pretty good manager. His team was productive and they were hitting deadlines. But then his supervisor pulled him aside to let him know his team had complained about him. He knew there was some tension there, but he didn't know it was serious enough to warrant this discussion. His supervisor told him that unless he could turn around his team's attitude, he was likely to lose his supervisory role, and that did not bode well for his career aspirations. Instead of...

Duration:00:38:06

9: Exhausted and Frustrated: A Perfect Recipe for Professional Disaster

2/20/2018
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Marietta Gentles Crawford was exhausted and frustrated. She saw her colleagues sitting around in their shared office, one of them reading a newspaper, when she lost her composure. In louder than necessary tones, she told her colleagues exactly how she felt about how much harder she was working; she lost her cool. Lucky for her, she had a compassionate boss, and colleagues who were close to her, almost like family, which is why she didn't receive formal discipline. That's also why she was...

Duration:00:28:06

8: You Don't Have to Like Them. You Have to Work with Them.

2/13/2018
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You probably know that the good and the bad of work relationships shape our professional experiences and our future interactions, but do you think about those bad experiences as opportunities to be a better employee and manager? In this podcast, Christine Stevens shares three stories of work relationships that colored how she builds and maintains successful relationships at work, even with people she doesn't necessarily like. It was her father who said: "You don't have to like the people...

Duration:00:45:17

7: Hungry and Scared: A Story to Build Courage

2/6/2018
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Leaving home to go to college can be pretty traumatic, but if you're on a traditional path and move right into a dormitory, that trauma can be mellowed a lot. You don't necessarily have to cook every meal for yourself, and you're unlikely to have to start buying your own toilet paper. There are still rules in a dormitory, so you're still expected to behave as if others are watching you. But leaving college, moving away from friends and family, and starting something completely out of your...

Duration:00:08:57

6: Living Up to Expectations of Others: A Story of External Inspiration

1/30/2018
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Derek Hoffman is a successful businessman. He is one of those entrepreneurs who sees a need, knows the audience, and finds a way to solve the problems of that audience. But he didn't start out like that. Part of the reason he's so resourceful, and so good at solving problems, is that his childhood was spent solving the problem of survival. This story isn't so unusual, the rags to riches idea behind it, anyway. What makes this story unusual is his moment of inspiration to change his...

Duration:00:35:38

5: Find Your "Brave", Use Stories as Evidence

1/23/2018
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Kimberly Davis is a brave leader not because she's unafraid, but because she steps forward despite the fear that could hold her back, and she's teaching others to lead with Brave in mind. You were likely pretty brave as a child, I know most children start out ready to jump into an adventure, sing on a stage, and climb anything - with our without shoes. But what happens to us as we move into the higher grades? Why do we lose our sense of adventure, our sense of self, our self...

Duration:00:39:00

4: Getting Out Alive: A Story of Professional Survival

1/16/2018
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"We were barreling down the road, at least double the speed limit in a 35 zone. And when we hit the highway, he was driving at least 110. For the first time since those warning signs I ignored during the interview, I realized I wasn't just risking my career, I was risking my life." John White made the decision to invest in his future that day - by jumping into an MBA program he'd been considering for a few years. We had a great conversation about that moment in his life when he made the...

Duration:00:25:26

3: How Storytelling Shapes Your Internal Messages

1/9/2018
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Leili McKinley is a business and personal branding expert who developed a system of questions to identify a solid foundation of brand characteristics. In this episode of Your Stories Don't Define You. How You Share Them Will., she introduces the concept of building a foundation, a structure, to help you step out of your comfort zone and explore. She uses a metaphor that's pretty unique to the fashion design industry: Boning a corset. That means using real whale bones to provide a solid...

Duration:00:30:29

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