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Adult Harder

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Grow Some Plants, Okay?

You can do it. No, we're serious. No, we're SERIOUS. Listen to us. LISTEN. Okay? Listen. You can grow a plant. We believe in you. Yes, we know that you've killed every living thing you've ever put into a pot, but don't worry, this time you can do it. And you don't have to make this harrowing journey alone! We're here to help. So grab your gardening gloves, 'cause in like three or five months, you're going to have a cucumber to eat. Listen on Apple Podcasts


Buy Yourself a House

Oh, you still rent? Cool story, BABY. Real adults buy real estate, and it's high time you learned the ins and outs of being a major property mogul. It's like being a property brother, but usually you're shorter, and not a twin. WHO'S READY? Listen on Apple Podcasts


Coffee Like an Adult

We weren't sure the world needed an Adult Harder episode about coffee, but then Ryan paid $7 for a medium iced coffee, so apparently there are people who are dumb about coffee and need our help. Mostly, Ryan. This episode is for Ryan. Ryan, this is for you, are you listening? Don't pay $7 for an iced coffee. This week's bullet points include: The history of coffee; how coffee is made; the difference between a latte, a cappuccino, and a macchiato; how to be better at coffee than Ryan...


Get a Job and Keep It, Part 2: Keep It

In the epic conclusion of our inaugural two-part episode on being gainfully employed so you can buy whiskey and chips, we share some hot takes on how to not be a terrible co-worker...then we're once again joined by our friend Val, who talks about office pranks, workplace romance, how to flame out of your job in a bright, beautiful blaze of terrible, terrible glory, and more. Last week you got that job; now we aim to help you keep it. Listen on Apple Podcasts


Get a Job and Keep It, Part 1: Get a Job

We don't want to brag, but we have jobs. And you can have jobs, too! This week, we're premiering the first part of our two-part episode on getting and keeping that good, good job. First up: How to make a resume that doesn't suck and how to conduct yourself in an interview, featuring our friend Val, Human Resources expert. Listen on Apple Podcasts


Raise Money for a Good Cause

Have you ever tried to raise money for a good cause? Boy, it's hard. It's like people want to keep their own money in their own wallets because they don't know how much joy it would bring you to raise three more dollars. Well, we're here to help! This week, we talk about some of the pitfalls of fundraising, and we offer some excellently good advice on how to fundraise better. Listen on Apple Podcasts


Be Very, Very Good at Mother's Day

Mother's Day. Amiright? It's like the Saw movie franchise of holidays. Because every year or so, you think, "Oh. Wow. Is there another one of those? I forgot about that. But it's definitely there, isn't it?" And you know what? IT IS. Because Mother's Day is just relentless. AND IT WANTS TO PLAY A GAME. This week, we go brain-deep into the problem of Mother's Day: why it's strange, why the best good sons don't get their own holiday, and what presents you should definitely NOT get your mom...


Do Concerts Better

It's hard to not be a total jackass at a concert. If you're at the same concert as our new favorite listener, Jamie from Kansas, that is. Following Jamie's very strict orders, we explain the best way to not suck at a concert, and to be honest? We pretty much nail it. Listen on Apple Podcasts


Be a Better Wedding Guest

When someone else's wedding bells start ringing, you have just one job. JUST ONE JOB. Don't. F***. Things. Up. Unfortunately, ruining someone else’s wedding is easier than you might think. Just ask Ryan, who tried preeeeeeetty dang hard to ruin Clayton’s first wedding. NICE TRY, SMITH. This week is all about being a better wedding guest, and it goes way beyond not throwing up on the dance floor (though that’s an A-#1 tip). Find on Apple Podcasts


Move Without All That Dumb Stress

Listen on Apple Podcasts If you're a living person who's alive, you've probably moved at least once, and boy, you know that sh*t is the absolute worst. And it only gets harder as your friends get older and realize the economics of receiving payment in pizza and beer are some next-level nonsense. But not to worry! The Smiths have some excellent advice on how to be better at moving, without all that dumb stress.


Break Those Bad Habits for Good

The Professors Smith know a thing or two about bad habits. Mostly, they know how to have them. But they've also done a very light amount of reading up on how to theoretically break them, and now they want to save you that ten minutes of Googling with a 25-minute podcast! We're about 82% sure you'll agree that it's worth it.


Appreciate Wrestling More. NO, WE'RE BEING SERIOUS!

Skin-tight uniforms. Feathered hair. Blood, sometimes. No, it's not the seedy underbelly of jazzercise; it's professional wrestling, and it's high time you got on board! Ryan breaks down the finer points of pro wrestling, including blood, nudity, and draaaamaaaaaa! And the guys give some pretty overall decent advice on how to dip your toe in the wrestling waters by throwing a good, old-fashioned Wrestlemania party!


Get a Pet, Okay?

You know who loves pets? Literally everyone. You know who doesn't love pets? Sociopaths, which we understand does detract from our statement about everyone loving pets, but it's important to not always split hairs. This week, the Professors Smith discuss the importance of pets, and then they rank the best and worst pets ever, because they're professionals like that.


Survive the Robot Uprising

Listen on Apple Podcasts We thought we wouldn't have to worry about the robot apocalypse for at LEAST five or six more years. But between laughing Alexa, stripper-bots, and all the inexplicably ill-informed madness happening at the stupid idiot labs of Boston Dynamics, we can't put it off any longer. The robots are coming, and we need to get busy destroying 'em or get busy serving 'em. Either way, our survival is key.


Celebrate St. Patrick's Day Without Throwing Up On Everything

In one of our timeless, instant-classic holiday episodes, we talk about the pitfalls of St. Patrick's Day, including not-awful alternatives to awful green beer and the history of Druids and Irish ghosts. It's a pretty stellar episode. Turn up your ears and learn how to celebrate St. Paddy's Day like a real grown-up adult person!


Get a Massage, and Don't be Weird About It

Massages are supposed to be why do they give us so much anxiety? This week, the Smiths take on the many discomforts of getting naked with a stranger and saying, "Put your hands all over me." They teach you how to overcome any massage-related issue, and they've got some pretty good advice about saunas, too.


Handle Credit Card Debt Like a Brave Hero

Find on Apple Podcasts Find on Stitcher We got a letter from a listener who wanted to know just how scared he should be about getting his first solo credit card. And boy, did we run with that. In this episode, we talk credit scores, smart strategies for paying down huge debt, and how to get credit card companies to pay YOU! We don't want to brag, but it's a severely adult-ish episode.


Face Winter Weather Like a Grown-Up Hero

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Stitcher It’s cold. It is just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Unless you live somewhere warm, in which case, we politely invite you to just kiss right off. ‘Cause we’re cold. Just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Fortunately, the Smiths have some tips on how to bear the cold weather, and they even visit the fellows from The Victor Bar in Chicago to ask about some special winter weather cocktails that can warm your subzero spirits!


Bear and Raise Children Without Causing Irreparable Harm

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Stitcher The decision to become a parent is a big one. There's a lot to consider, like "Will I cause accidental and irreparable lifelong harm to the emotional state of a real human person?" The Smiths grapple with the challenges and rewards of having babies, along with the help of a very special guest, professional father and podcaster Travis McElroy!


Disneyland Like an Adult

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Stitcher It's hard to really appreciate Disneyland when you're a kid, and when you're a parent, it's like, ugh, now I have to go on all the baby rides with my kid, ugh. The best way to go to Disneyland is to go by your own childless self! It's not creepy! This week, the Smiths discuss their wasted youths, the much less magical theme parks that their parents dragged them to as kids, and the best ways to enjoy Disneyland like a grown-up, along with the help...