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Botched: A D&D Podcast

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A group of drunken misfits equipped with loose morals and a questionable understanding of the rules slog their way through fifth edition D&D

A group of drunken misfits equipped with loose morals and a questionable understanding of the rules slog their way through fifth edition D&D
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A group of drunken misfits equipped with loose morals and a questionable understanding of the rules slog their way through fifth edition D&D






Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP57 Up To Our Eyes With A-Holes

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Holy shit the party actually managed to accomplish a goal! Who knew it was possible?! Now they have another goal. Can they make it two for two? The group must venture past enemy lines of demons to find the hidden encampment and figure out what the hell is going on in the world. However, outside of the safety of the forest there are hundreds and thousands of demons. The group must sneak (or not) through the hostile forces and find this mysterious encampment....


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP56 The Rise And Fall Of Uncoolio

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group must convince King Casey Dilla to join the Knights of the Phoenix army against the hordes of demons encroaching on one of the refuges. However, the King is a greased-up bro who has no interest in such things. The group has been invited to a party in the King’s honor. Our heroes however, are very overdressed. They will have to pick their favorite oils and get ready for an evening of partying and competition. Hann will receive a new title throughout...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP55 A High Fiber Diet

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Four chapters down, one to go! Welcome to the last chapter of our third season. We start off with characters we have never met before, but in a semi-familiar place. The world is in complete chaos. Rips in the fabric of space time have opened around the world and people are being slaughtered left and right. The only safe place left in the world seems to be the Knights of the Phoenix stronghold as refugees pour in. The magical ley lines of the world are in...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP54 The Death Of Friendship

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! At last we have reached the end of this chapter of our story. The group continues to make their way upwards in their attempt to confront the one behind this chaotic castle. Getting there will be no easy task as this castle seems to constantly flip expectations. Good judgement has never been these players strong suit, but maybe, just maybe they will finally figure that out. Haha, yeah, I apologize for asserting such a ridiculous notion. Once they manage to...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP53 Billy Bays Here

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Poor brainless Zabub. Before the mindflayers it was just assumed that Zabub had no brains, but now it is confirmed. The group seems really broken up over his loss. If only they could find any other companion to replace him. What are the odds of that? Once the group deals with their mindflayer situation, they still have to contend with the rest of the tower. I’m sure they have very few traps or puzzles to go…right? What traps lay ahead of them? What is...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP52 Opening Up

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! What do you know, Nobu must be a potato after all. Why else would his baby be a Mr. Potato Head. Granted, I’ve never had one that is alive and explodes, but hey, need to have some way to kill off guest characters. I guess that also means that Thurstone must really be a camel, because he pooped one out. Speaking of which, Thurstone should really get that pink sock of his looked at. The group still has this nasty medusa beholder thing to deal with, but...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP51 Being A Parent Is Never Easy

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! A room full of pipes, and now the party at least knows what all the different colors mean. What are they again? Red for fire, blue for ice, purple for poison, yellow for acid, white for hallucinations, black for paranoia and green for if you want to get preggers. Speaking of preggers, Nobu is now expecting the pitter patter of whatever mutant is popping out of his…wait. Where would babies pop out of a dude? Well, he is about to be internally goatse’d or...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP50 Coming To An Extreme Fertilization

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Sick of puzzles and traps yet? Good, because there are so many left for these dinguses. Currently they have to figure out a way of a room of strange mushrooms. You might think that this would be pretty easy to experiment and figure out, but you would be wrong. The group never ceases to amaze in how to overcomplicate their lives without trying out the simplest solutions. Unfortunately for them, the mushroom room is not the last of their worries. There are...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP49 A Gathering Of Idiots

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! One of the main enemies of these players are the use of brains. In this case the literal use, as giant floating brains are trying to kill them. Assuming they can get past them…and the room these dummies engulfed in flames, there are other dangers awaiting. The group is struggling with remaining healthy and are taking an awful lot of breaks. Wasn’t there a giant bubble slowly encircling the planet? I’m sure they will have all the time in the world and not...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP48 A Horse With Four Names

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well, Phil lost another limb. Nothing brings the DM more joy honestly and thank goodness Phil botches so much. At this point I’m guessing they wish they took the elevator with Kip and Sachy…or maybe not. Climbing higher into this castle they will find even more trials and tribulations. We finally get back to the old days of puzzle dungeoning with even traps, puzzles and finally some riddles. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for the listeners they can’t hear...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP47 Movin On Up

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! It seems Nobu wasn’t quite fast enough and his “old friends” got away. Chances are, Nobu doesn’t want anyone else to know where he is. I’m sure that will work itself out…or he will be dead before it matters. Now, however, he has to worry about the castle leering overhead. I’m pretty sure the group forgot about the energy bubble spreading over the land as they have not shown any haste in completing their task. Inside the castle they find a rather grim and...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP46 The Birds And The Bees

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group now has a shape shifting gnome and a mute goblin monk following them around. I’m sure for anyone else that would be weird, but it seems to be par for the course really. These compatriots also seem to know Nobu, or “Lobu” as he is currently calling himself. He must really not want to go back to farming potatoes. The castle looms in the distance and the only thing separating them is a long stretch of forest. What dangers await in these woods? Is...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP45 Say Yes To The Khakis

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well that was a rather surprising turn of events. Well, surprising if you listen to any other group of assholes play D&D. These guys seem to screw up the entire world every time they make decisions. This time around by killing the super friendly vampires, they have summoned a giant walking castle from the ocean with a big throbbing crystal on top. Luckily, it also seems to be corrupting all the wildlife around it so that’s a plus. On the bright side, they...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP44 No Time For Curling

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group, in searching for the friendly vampires have stumbled into a series of traps. Well, Sir Fennec especially has seemed to have fallen into a rather nasty one. I wonder what happens when you hit a hard surface falling from 200 feet? The group will soon find out! After they deal with that messy situation, they are going to have to deal with a few other trials and tribulations before finding their vampire buddies. Did Sir Fennec manage to make it out...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP43 The Crack Is A Lie

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Just when you thought there couldn’t be more shopping, Botched Podcast gives you…even more shopping! However, Old Prospector alerted the group that they are working for a bunch of blood cultist vampires. They have now arrived back at the island only to find none of the inhabitants in the town. In this episode, the group will search the town to figure out where the supposed vampires might have gone. They come across a hidden series of tunnels underneath the...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP42 Ratmancing The Stone

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! What a fabulous shopping spree the group has just finished with. Now they have a new ally in the Ratsketball, and he is full of rope. Adorned in their Khak suits, the group is now tasked with a quest by Christina Wisdomian. In order to get some special gear of their own, they must seek out towns across the sea and trade for some much-needed goods. The town of Resthaven needs leather, 11 herbs and spices, some livestock and some ore. What do they need these...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP41 Papa’s Got A Brand New Khaksuit

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well this seems like quite a nice little village they’ve found themselves in. A little foggy sure, but everyone seems awfully friendly. They’re well mannered, kind and accommodating! The group is in luck as this town doesn’t have a form of money. They all just trade goods and services for what they want. There happen to be a number of little shops in this town. I wonder what completely normal items they will acquire over the course of their stay. What sort...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP40 Any Hole In A Storm

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Why can’t these guys just take their punishment like they deserve? Of course not, they not only have to break out, but have to make a mess doing so and cause as much pain as possible. Now that they are free there seems to be a bigger issue. A giant killer fish monster is attacking the boat. I’m sure the group will heroically help defend the ship against the monster and then gain a new crew of prisoners and guards to sail the seas looking for adventure! Just...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP39 Fightin Round The World

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Another story completed, another new chapter to start. The last chapter didn’t quite end how the guys wanted, but I guess that’s what happens when you roleplay as murder hobos! In this new session we join a familiar face and some new ones as they are prisoners of the Knights of the Phoenix. In the rain, they are transferred to a boat, where they will be taken to an undisclosed island hidden in the Schuylkill Sea. This hodge-podge of brigands, derelict souls...


Botched: A D&D Podcast S3 EP38 Blunders R Us

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! As Nobu charges the Kronenbergers, the time has come to meet the new gods. The group must now converse with the new gods and make sure that they enlist their help against the old gods. Due to the previous decisions of the group, sacrifices must be made in order to save the Kronenbergers. Knight Commander Nachio Del Grande is in route to give the group their just rewards. Will the group enlist the aid of the gods? Can they save the kronenbergers? What will...