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Do We Make You Thorny?

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Three friends. Several Contestants. One Championship Belt. Thousands of mentions of Chris Harrison. Join Donny, Matt, and John every week as they ostensibly recap ABC's "The Bachelor" and compete in their own friendship-testing fantasy league. Will you accept this podcast? Please? Come on they need this.

Three friends. Several Contestants. One Championship Belt. Thousands of mentions of Chris Harrison. Join Donny, Matt, and John every week as they ostensibly recap ABC's "The Bachelor" and compete in their own friendship-testing fantasy league. Will you accept this podcast? Please? Come on they need this.
More Information

Location:

United States

Description:

Three friends. Several Contestants. One Championship Belt. Thousands of mentions of Chris Harrison. Join Donny, Matt, and John every week as they ostensibly recap ABC's "The Bachelor" and compete in their own friendship-testing fantasy league. Will you accept this podcast? Please? Come on they need this.

Twitter:

@ThornyPod

Language:

English


Episodes

My Wets!

7/18/2019
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Fantasy Suites are here! We dive into as much recap as possible in this content heavy episode and break down Hannah's approach to all of these boys. Things really hit the fan, and no, that's not a euphemism for doing it in a windmill. We also discover the our very own Egg is a fugitive of the law and should not be approached if you see her.

Duration:00:43:41

Starcucks: I Spit on a Hilton (with Sarah Waxberg and Elio Vezza)

7/12/2019
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Hannah has her hometown dates with the four boys and we get exciting cameos from Peter's Handsome Dad, Peter's Handsome Brother, and Shower Jesus (not in any way affiliated with Peter). Also Donny continues to become infinite and Matt's in prison. Elio's Band Gambo: https://gambology.bandcamp.com/ Sarah's Photography: https://www.instagram.com/sarahwaxberg/

Duration:00:57:32

Oculus Love Quest

7/5/2019
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Hannah trims the playing field down for hometowns, and we are very excited for Peter and Tyler! We assure you we did not miss anyone. I don't know why you're looking at me like that.. Also, Donny taps in to very exclusive technology he got in prison due to phantom donations. What even is this podcast anymore? Enjoy and give thanks to Shower Jesus!

Duration:00:50:13

Literally Concave (with Elesa Marmo)

6/28/2019
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I cannot believe that I have to write another description with Luke P's name in it. Honestly, this is taxing. Very good singer and even better friend Elesa Marmo is here to help us parse what this season even is, and we catch up with Donny who is very mad at a particular Anime that he refuses to name no matter how many times we goat him. You can check out Elesa's music at the link below or on Apple Music! https://open.spotify.com/search/results/Elesa%20Marmo

Duration:00:54:06

Spider Milk

6/21/2019
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The hit ABC show, that we have invested a good amount of our valuable time and resources into, decided to mail it in this week. So we thought it was only fair that we did, too! We speed recap the content that we could, and then The Thorny Express (TM) is taking a ride down memory lane as we hold a clip show of our own! You thought we were above that? Seriously?

Duration:00:41:06

No Roads to Scotland: A True Underdog Story

6/13/2019
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The Thorny Express is pulling back into the station and we're off to join Hannah and her merry band of idiots in Scotland! We do our best to run through these dates at full speed so we can keep talking about how bad Luke P is. Also, Egg forces her anti-camping agenda onto us, and Donny becomes a Maritime Man of Mystery.

Duration:00:52:00

Bad Guy Jaw

6/7/2019
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Matt has a tremendous amount of things going on in his "life," so we decided to board the THORNY EXPRESS BABY!!!! Speed round date recaps, a plethora of mini segments, and plenty of talk about the unhinged Luke P. ALL ABOARD!

Duration:00:48:55

"I Kill You Scum" - Frank Sinatra

5/31/2019
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Another week has gone by, and we're still not any closer to finding any guys that we really like. We do a full episode recap and dive into two villain arcs that can't end soon enough, read some letters from the dead, and talk to our field correspondent/potential hostage (?) Donny.

Duration:01:01:36

Michael Basketball Jordan

5/23/2019
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Hannah's journey for love continues with a beauty pageant, a roller derby competition, and the presence of the ever-celestial Fred "The Killer" Willard. We also witness the rise of two terrible character arcs at once, play a new mini game, and talk about Matteo's sticky side gig even more than previous conversations. We hope you're happy!

Duration:01:00:08

Big D's Classified Ska Revival Guide

5/16/2019
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The Bachelorette premiere has come and gone and we have a lot to say about it. We break down Hannah's step into the limelight, discuss our new fantasy teams, and Donny improperly uses our beloved Bachelore to ska shame Matt.

Duration:01:01:15

IT'S LIST DAY

5/13/2019
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The bios of these awful men came out the day after we released our previous episode, so we are back for a very quick run down of our favorites before this dang thing premieres. We break down contestants such as Normal Guy, Roller Boy, Sperm Donor...alright I'll level with you I don't remember their names as I'm typing this. Enjoy!

Duration:00:23:57

Jeroma Bahsolo: A Good Star Wars Character

5/9/2019
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And now, back to our regularly scheduled program. The Bachelorette is back on 5/13, and the All-Father Chris Harrison decided to grace us with his presence early. We talk about a content-heavy reunion special from Monday, and dive in to the new cast of characters that will be vying for Hannah B's heart. Disclaimer: They're all pretty bad!

Duration:00:48:22

Grey's An Anime 2: Robotech

5/6/2019
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We face a more difficult task this week while comparing Grey's and the 1980's big-scary-mech show "Robotech." We also meet up with our very good friends Casey Kasem, Nicole Byer, and the omnipotent KHRYS.

Duration:00:45:26

Grey's An Anime 1: Fruits Basket

4/29/2019
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We watch the beginning of Grey's Anatomy and the 2001 acid trip Fruits Basket. We draw comparisons and do WAY better than anyone expected, including us.

Duration:00:56:17

Grey's An Anime 0: Donny Needs This

4/18/2019
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So it's come to this. We are deep diving into some uncharted territory to prove a "point" made by Donny several weeks ago..because he needs this. We talk about the parameters of our study regarding the correlation to ABC's hit medical drama Grey's Anatomy, and literally any anime series. Then we phone conference in with Donny (who needs this) to get his blessing on the experiment. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Duration:00:25:13

The Red Son

3/29/2019
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So we tried to talk about the Hulu special "Can I Steal You For A Second?" and give our much sought after insight. But we kinda ran out of steam halfway through and started talking about other things we're watching on television and then did some pop culture trivia. I don't know what this was, you might not either, but there's a chance you enjoy it!

Duration:00:51:04

Big Yikes (with The Marciano Siblings)

3/15/2019
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Well folks, this is it. Colton's final move. Will he choose one of two remaining women, or risk it all for Cassie? Who wins the fantasy championship this season? Who will be the upcoming Bachelorette? We absolutely have the answers to all of these, plus our plans for the off season and the upcoming months. We give you the episode recaps for the two part finale, and continuously get interrupted by Matt's comically large family. Also, John does crime and pays the price. Thank you all for your...

Duration:01:20:05

The Best Offense is a Good Gun Fence (with KC "Beef Boi" Abad)

3/8/2019
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Matt's back from Vegas just in time to talk about a really standard episode of The Bachelor. Nothing really out of the ordinary went down. Some kissing, some virgin references...oh yeah, Colton did finally jump the fence and gave us a release that this fan base has been awaiting for weeks, but other than that it was pretty tame. Join us as we dive into Fantasy Suites AND Women Tell All, talk about the bad town, and have our friend KC remind us that it's his word and we are not allowed to use...

Duration:01:07:37

O Napkin! My Napkin! (with Cathy "Matt" Rico)

3/1/2019
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Sorry for the very long episode, but Hometowns gives us a well of content that we have to completely tap, otherwise it gets all smelly and moldy. Colton meets the families and repeatedly lays it all on the line. How does it go? 2.5/4 dads agree, the dude seems pretty agreeable. A full recap of hometowns, a very close-to-the-heart Bachelore, and John plays the greatest prank on Donny. Grab the GameCube controller, we have some scores to settle.

Duration:01:14:21

Chekhov's Garbage Can (with Elio Vezza)

2/22/2019
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Our very dear DIY punk friend Elio came by and watched his first full episode of The Bachelor with us. He hated it! And that's okay! Two things that Elio doesn't hate? Wrestling and Donny. We talk about both more than anyone should. We also recap the show, meet with our favorite egg, and discuss a twitter mom with SOME URGES Y'ALL. Enjoy!

Duration:01:10:33