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THE CHURCH ABSURD #28: Turn It Off. Turn It Off Now.
Jess and Sam shine a light on the Enfield Horror, revisit a documentary featured previously on WTFU, and Riley Reid cannot rap. Also, Bobby Brown apparently has banged a ghost. SEGMENTS UNHOLY BEASTS - Enfield Horror - Bobby Brown Banged A Ghost WTFU - Maregasm 2: The Second Coming - I'm a Necrophile, Ask Me Anything - The Letters of Charles Whitman Cringe Corner - Riley Reid Cannot Rap - Rose McGowan Rambles Lonnie Sings: BYOBigfoot -Outtakes THE CHURCH ABSURD IS available on all podcasts...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #27: S-S-S-S-S-Snakes!
The Reverend and Deacon look at the Ratman, the 4chan School Shooter manifesto, and some snakes get busted. Lonnie instructs the boys on what the Squatch says. THE CHURCH ABSURD is available now on all the podcast apps as well as iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, Google Play, and Tunein! Please rate and review us to help us spread our shows! All products promoted on The Church Absurd are made by FalseCo: Real Products For A Fake World. Send your hate mail to The Church Absurd through...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #26: F**k Murray State
Reverend Jess and Deacon Sam look at The Beast Of The Land Between The Lakes, the Virginia tech shooter manifesto (in impressions), a Canadian freeman, and we insult Murray State University for really no reason. SEGMENTS: UNHOLY BEASTS - The Beast of the Land Between The Lakes - Gef - Spooky Story Time WTFU - Disturbing News Stories - Impressions Game: Virginia Tech Shooter Manifesto Cringe Corner - Die Cis Scum - Canadian Freeman - 4th Baby announcement THE CHURCH ABSURD is available now on...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #25: Please Don't Jerk The Monkey
The terrible trio look at Spring Heeled Jack, the Son of Sam letters (in impressions), a "virtuous" pedophile, more Dr. Phil, and the Cringe Corner gets personal. Also, as a special treat for the 25th episode, Lonnie debuts another hit from his album! Segments Include: UNHOLY BEASTS - Spring Heeled Jack - Human Ape Hybrid experiments - Spooky Story Time: tEh FAt GhoST WTFU -Impressions Game: The Son of Sam Letters - A "Virtuous" Pedophile Cringe Corner - "No! I Don't Wanna Get A Job!" - A...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #24: Goodbye Horses
The demented duo of Reverend Jess and Deacon Sam talk Owlman, people remove a part of themselves to sing better, crime scenes, and a sad man named Joey and his food reviewing world tour. Also, Deacon Sam receives a letter from a secret admirer. SEGMENTS UNHOLY BEASTS - Owlman - Indrid Cold - Spooky Story Time WTFU - Alessandro Moreschi - Flowers In The Attic - Crime Scene Stories Cringe Corner: - Joey's World Tour - I Got Hugged By A Girl! - Pee Fight Mail Time! - A Letter For Deacon Sam -...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #8: Fruit Is So F*****g Sexy
This week, Jess and Sam take a look at weird Japanese monsters that love butt stuff, vegans who are inappropriate with papaya, Kyle Odom's close encounters, and Ugandan homophobia. Also, we get accused of being anti-gay. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - South Bay Bessie, The Lake Erie Monster - The Shirime (https://hyakumonogatari.com/2012/08/19/shirime-eyeball-butt/) - The Kappa...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #7: The Legend of the Ghost Puncher
After Jess recovers from illness, the boys are back! This week, your horrible hosts cover two cryptids, tell the tale of a gym rat turned Ghostbuster, get a taste of Japanese rock music, and try to curb an addiction. This and much more await the congregation so have a listen! SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Crawsfordsville Monster - The Thetis Lake Monster - The Ghost Who Couldn't Lift (4chan Story) WTFU - "I Kill My Kids" 911 Call - Christian Fear Mongering:...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #6: Homies In Wiscawnsin.
A late night service has Jess and Sam looking at the Flatwoods Monster, Grave Robbing For Morons, and comparing the quotes of Putin and Bernie Sanders. Also, the depraved duo premiere the new segment: The Cringe Corner. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: -Unholy Beasts: The Flatwoods Monster WTFU - Ruth's Unexpected Guest (911 Call) - You Have 1 New Message (The Original Night Stalker) - Grave Robbing For Morons The Cringe Corner - Sceneable (10 Years Old) Tells Us Why We Need Communism - The Angriest...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #5: "I'm Into Charlie" with Altar Server Jonathan
The Church Absurd is in service with special guest and alter server, Jonathan. The terrible trio talk Dear David, the Bear Lake Monster, the Child of Rage, and more! The party continues a game of Is It On Pornhub? and the karaoke punishment that follows. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Bear Lake Monster - Dear David (https://storify.com/moby_dickhead/dear-david) WTFU - Elliot's Supreme Lady - The Child of Rage - Byron Smith's Thanksgiving 2012 GAME TIME: Is It On...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #4: Sterile and Dead: The Story of Patheticus.
After a night of Chinese food and a movie, Jess and Sam take a look at the Aswang, Elliot Rodger, a Christian woman's fear-inducing view on sex, and tell some personal ghost stories. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - A Brief Look at The Mandela Effect - The Aswang WTFU - Elliot Rodger's Retribution - Christian Fearmongering: Sex Has A Price Tag - Personal Ghost Stories with Sister Blaze-It and Deacon Sam -Fan Mail: RE: Liz's Shadow Person from David D. GAME TIME: Jaden Smith...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #3: Smothered, Covered, and Extra Spooky
On this episode, things get spooky when Jess and Sam look at ghost dogs, the Weepy Voiced Killer, and listen to the infamous Area 51 Caller of Coast To Coast. Plus, a friend of the show shares two crazy stories of Shadow People and Ouija Boards. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Black Shuck - Shadow People and Ouija Boards with Liz. - The Area 51 Caller on Coast To Coast WTFU - A Letter From David Berkowitz - The Weepy Voiced Killer GAME TIME -Donald Trump or Kim Jong Un...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #2: The Canadian Meth'd Out Swamp Flash and Other Stories
In the second episode, we discuss the Lizard Man, make fun of Dr. Phil's interview with a kid who beat his mother to death with a sledgehammer, play a quote guessing game of Alex Jones or Charles Manson, and more! Segments: -Intro -Unholy Beasts and Blasphemous Theories: The Lizard Man of Lee County -WTFU: Dr. Phil and Jeffrey Dahmer Fan Fiction -Game: Alex Jones or Charles Manson? -Infuriated Nerd Rant: Reverend Jess on Adult Swim. -Conclusion -After Service Reception Special Thanks to...
THE CHURCH ABSURD #1 : Pilot: Dogman, Grace Bud, and Gas Stations
The pilot episode! Brought to you by FalseCo! -Unholy Beasts and Blasphemous Theories: Lonnie and The Dogman -WTFU: The Grace Bud Letter -Occupational Torment: Small Town Gas Stations. Special thanks to Mike Calhoun of Chatter Squadron for the Chess Championship commercial!