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Location:

United States

Language:

English


Episodes

THE CHURCH ABSURD #19: Look At It!

6/19/2018
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This week, we look at Betty and Barney Hill, disturbing news stories, cringy singing competitions, have a Blast Session, and Sam doesn't understand when something is too soon. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Betty and Barney Hill - Stephen King's New Book WTFU - Worst Tinder Date Ever - Magic: The Stabbing - Westfield Watcher Blast Session The Cringe Corner - Spank Me Santa - WB Superstar USA - Lonnie Sings - Conclusion - After Service Reception All products...

Duration:01:23:37

THE CHURCH ABSURD #18: You See Them Stains On There?

6/11/2018
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This week, we look at Mel's Hole, investigate the reborn Incel Forum, listen to a Brony Parody song, and shock each other with shock collars. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - 4chan Ghost Battles - Mel's Hole - Sam's Childhood Ghost Story - A Legitimately Creepy Story WTFU - Jake Evans - Bad 911 Call Operators - 1 Guy, 1 Spoon - Incel Threads The Cringe Corner - Equestrian Idiot - Stop Making Fun Of Dragon Ball Z - That's Not Pee - Game Time: Shocking Trivia -...

Duration:01:36:24

THE CHURCH ABSURD #17: I'm Coming For You, Jesus!

5/30/2018
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This week, we look at the Jersey Devil, interview the methhead who went home with a serial killer, listen to some incel cringe, read some love words for Jesus, Lonnie sings Flo Rida, and David Berkowitz starts his own podcast in the After Service Reception. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Jersey Devil - The spooky tale of the spoooky mann WTFU - Love Words To Jesus - Incel Threads The Cringe Corner - Revisting the homie from Wiscawnsin - My Mom Took My Vape - Lil...

Duration:00:54:09

THE CHURCH ABSURD #16: I'm Talking 'Bout End Times

5/23/2018
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This week, we look at the Mothman, revisit A Serbian Film, read through Elliot Rodger's Manifesto, Lonnie sings A-Ha, and we revisit random emo songs from the early 2000s in the after service reception. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Mothman - Alex Jones - Teh Day of All The Blood WTFU - A Serbian Film Baby Scene - Real life Newborn Porn - The Impressions Game: Patheticus' Master Plan The Cringe Corner - Preparing for the End Times with Jim Bakker buckets - "End...

Duration:01:28:26

THE CHURCH ABSURD #15: There's A Blue Wiener.....

5/9/2018
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This week, we look at the Tengu, Jess meets a serial killer, Lonnie sings Post Malone, and we learn valuable lessons from Pruane2Forever. Who was phone? UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Tengu - Flat Earthers - The Beast of Bladenboro - Creepy Mysteries - The Elevator Ritual WTFU - Jess Meets A Serial Killer - 911 Call: "Deal With It" - 911 Call: "His Head's Missing..." - 911 Call: "I'm Dying!" The Cringe Corner - Angry Juggalette WOW Player - The Legend of Pruane2Forever - Lonnie...

Duration:01:53:30

THE CHURCH ABSURD #14: Give Yer Balls A Tug

5/2/2018
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This week, the toxic trio talk Hodags, ghost hunts with show superfan Trobi, revisit Albert Fish's letters, check in on some Cringe Corner favorites, and play 2 Lies, 1 Truth. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Hodag - Turnbull Canyon - Guest Ghost Stories: Trobi's Graveyard Adventure WTFU - Canadian Elliot Rodger - The Imitation Game: Albert Fish Revisited Cringe Corner - Bev And Bob Revisited - Mine Diamonds - ﹰRapping ﹰFor ﹰJesus - Christian Side Hug GAME TIME: 2...

Duration:09:49:00

THE CHURCH ABSURD #13: A Close Second To The Worst Episode Ever

4/25/2018
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This week, Jonathan takes the night off so Jess and Sam talk the Pope Lick Monster, Kentucky urban legends, the Bjork Stalker, MCR fan fiction, and drug PSA. Also, Lonnie sings a song for you at the end. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Pope Lick Monster - Kentucky Legends - The Truth About Donald Trump's Hair WTFU - Ricardo Lopez - My Chemical Necrophilia Romance CRINGE CORNER - Social Farter - I'm Pee Wee Herman and This Is Crack - Jacob Sartorius - Oppa...

Duration:01:13:59

THE CHURCH ABSURD #12: Worst Episode Ever

4/18/2018
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This week, we see what happens when Jess and Sam drink Canadian whiskey. It's an exercise in bad taste. We talk Agogwe, see how much more disturbing we can make the Toy Box Killer tape, revisit the cringy Juggalo rapper, and tell some lies. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Agogwe - Party Sex Dolphin - The Truth About George W. WTFU - A Group Of Celebrities Channel The Toy Box Killer - 911 Call: My Chimp Cringe Corner - Juggalo Rap Revisited GAME TIME - Two Truths...

Duration:01:36:11

THE CHURCH ABSURD #11: "I've Been Leaving Bananas For Them" with Lonnie

4/11/2018
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This week, it is the moment you've all been waiting for. The one and only Bigfoot Hunter: Lonnie. Join us for a 40+ minute interview with the man, the myth, the legend. It includes evidence, witness accounts, and a government cover-up. You do not want to miss this. After the interview, the boys look at cringy Juggalo rap, another Albert Fish letter, and play a game of Did The Juggalos Do It? SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - Melon Heads - The Lonnie Interview WTFU...

Duration:01:35:50

THE CHURCH ABSURD #10: It's Ya Boy

4/4/2018
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This week, your toxic trio talk about globsters, the truth about Wal-Mart's low prices, well endowed gnomes, goths, and foreign insults. Jonathan channels the Toy Box Killer, and George Dunne of the podcast Second Shot takes the crew on a tour of an elderly sex dungeon. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Globster - Well Endowed Gnomes - The Wal-Mart Time Travel Truth WTFU - "He's In The House" 911 Call - The Toy Box Killer Tape - Scientologist Fear Mongering:...

Duration:00:58:33

THE CHURCH ABSURD #9.5: BONUS INTERVIEW WITH LONNIE!

4/1/2018
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Here it is folks! Our interview with the man himself!

Duration:01:03:33

THE CHURCH ABSURD #9: Maregasm

3/28/2018
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This week, Jess and Sam talk about a magical frogman, discover what JRHNBR means, torture Altar Server Jonathan with a 9 volt battery, train for future careers at Wendy's, and delve into the world of Minecraft song parodies. Also, world renowned comedian Chris Paugh talks to us about ghost turds. It gets pretty messed up this time around folks. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Loveland Frog - Wereotters - The Voicemail Malaysian Flight 370 Conspiracy from...

Duration:01:31:45

THE CHURCH ABSURD #8: Fruit Is So F*****g Sexy

3/21/2018
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This week, Jess and Sam take a look at weird Japanese monsters that love butt stuff, vegans who are inappropriate with papaya, Kyle Odom's close encounters, and Ugandan homophobia. Also, we get accused of being anti-gay. SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - South Bay Bessie, The Lake Erie Monster - The Shirime (https://hyakumonogatari.com/2012/08/19/shirime-eyeball-butt/) - The Kappa...

Duration:01:29:05

THE CHURCH ABSURD #7: The Legend of the Ghost Puncher

3/14/2018
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After Jess recovers from illness, the boys are back! This week, your horrible hosts cover two cryptids, tell the tale of a gym rat turned Ghostbuster, get a taste of Japanese rock music, and try to curb an addiction. This and much more await the congregation so have a listen! SEGMENTS INCLUDE: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Crawsfordsville Monster - The Thetis Lake Monster - The Ghost Who Couldn't Lift (4chan Story) WTFU - "I Kill My Kids" 911 Call - Christian Fear Mongering:...

Duration:01:15:20

THE CHURCH ABSURD #5: "I'm Into Charlie" with Altar Server Jonathan

2/22/2018
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The Church Absurd is in service with special guest and alter server, Jonathan. The terrible trio talk Dear David, the Bear Lake Monster, the Child of Rage, and more! The party continues a game of Is It On Pornhub? and the karaoke punishment that follows. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Bear Lake Monster - Dear David (https://storify.com/moby_dickhead/dear-david) WTFU - Elliot's Supreme Lady - The Child of Rage - Byron Smith's Thanksgiving 2012 GAME TIME: Is It On...

Duration:01:37:18

THE CHURCH ABSURD #4: Sterile and Dead: The Story of Patheticus.

2/15/2018
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After a night of Chinese food and a movie, Jess and Sam take a look at the Aswang, Elliot Rodger, a Christian woman's fear-inducing view on sex, and tell some personal ghost stories. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - A Brief Look at The Mandela Effect - The Aswang WTFU - Elliot Rodger's Retribution - Christian Fearmongering: Sex Has A Price Tag - Personal Ghost Stories with Sister Blaze-It and Deacon Sam -Fan Mail: RE: Liz's Shadow Person from David D. GAME TIME: Jaden...

Duration:01:54:00

THE CHURCH ABSURD #3: Smothered, Covered, and Extra Spooky

2/8/2018
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On this episode, things get spooky when Jess and Sam look at ghost dogs, the Weepy Voiced Killer, and listen to the infamous Area 51 Caller of Coast To Coast. Plus, a friend of the show shares two crazy stories of Shadow People and Ouija Boards. Segments: UNHOLY BEASTS AND BLASPHEMOUS THEORIES - The Black Shuck - Shadow People and Ouija Boards with Liz. - The Area 51 Caller on Coast To Coast WTFU - A Letter From David Berkowitz - The Weepy Voiced Killer GAME TIME -Donald Trump or Kim Jong...

Duration:01:57:18

THE CHURCH ABSURD #2: The Canadian Meth'd Out Swamp Flash and Other Stories

2/2/2018
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In the second episode, we discuss the Lizard Man, make fun of Dr. Phil's interview with a kid who beat his mother to death with a sledgehammer, play a quote guessing game of Alex Jones or Charles Manson, and more! Segments: -Intro -Unholy Beasts and Blasphemous Theories: The Lizard Man of Lee County -WTFU: Dr. Phil and Jeffrey Dahmer Fan Fiction -Game: Alex Jones or Charles Manson? -Infuriated Nerd Rant: Reverend Jess on Adult Swim. -Conclusion -After Service Reception Special Thanks to...

Duration:01:45:16

THE CHURCH ABSURD #1 : Pilot: Dogman, Grace Bud, and Gas Stations

1/25/2018
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The pilot episode! Brought to you by FalseCo! -Unholy Beasts and Blasphemous Theories: Lonnie and The Dogman -WTFU: The Grace Bud Letter -Occupational Torment: Small Town Gas Stations. Special thanks to Mike Calhoun of Chatter Squadron for the Chess Championship commercial!

Duration:01:11:00