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Handbag Marinara: A FRIENDS Podcast

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S02 E10: TOW Ridiculously Dull Bobby

It's TOW Russ! We've got a three plot lines happening in this week's episode. Monica's dating Fun Bobby, but before too long the gang discovers he's been having a bit too much fun. Joey unfortunately joins the "Me Too" movement when he has to decide between sleeping with a producer and losing out on a big opportunity. And Rachel is in pretty serious denial, dating Russ without realizing that he's basically a carbon copy of Ross. This week, we're drinking Irish Coffee Martinis and talking...


S02 E09: TOW a Tropical Christmas Party

"Ho, ho, ho-ly crap is it hot in here!" It's TOW Phoebe's Dad! Phoebe finds out her dad isn't a famous tree surgeon, Ross forces Rachel to list all the annoying things about him, Monica and Rachel host a very hot Christmas party, and Chandler and Joey do some last-minute Christmas shopping -- at a gas station. We're drinking tropical eggnog and talking about things like: baked goods as gifts, baked goods as drugs, hers-and-hers towels, and a possible Game of Thrones prop crossover...


S02 E08: TOW Mockolate, Mallomars, and Chubby Ankles

OMG it's Thanksgiving in real life AND the FRIENDS universe! We're celebrating this happy coincidence with some Mockolate Martinis -- they taste just like chocolate cake, but there isn't a bit of chocolate in them! Mockolate Martini: http://handbagmarinara.com/blog/mockolate-martini It's TOW the List, and Monica's desperately trying to concoct Thanksgiving-themed recipes using a disgusting synthetic chocolate, Phoebe's coming up with VERY awkward songs on the fly, and Ross is being an...


S02 E07: TOW No One Actually Has Closure

It's TOW Ross Finds Out and Rachel doesn't get any Closure, but we drink some! Closure cocktail: http://handbagmarinara.com/blog/closure Ross and Rachel finally kiss in this episode, and the writers were clearly focused more on that than any of the other characters, because we've got a couple of really iffy sub-plots: We also talk unreasonable body goals/low self-esteem, drunken phone call confessions, & Prinsesstårta (we're pretty sure we've got a Great British Baking Show/FRIENDS...


S02 E06: TOW All the Unexpected Guest Stars

A rogue kiwi sends Ross to the ER and lands baby Ben alone on a bus. Ross needs a shot to stop the allergic reaction, so we're drinking kiwi lime pie shots as we discuss obscure 80s space adventure movies, reading shampoo bottles on the toilet, and the scene that Lisa Kudrow claims is her favorite moment from the series (can you guess what it is?) Kiwi Lime Pie shots: http://handbagmarinara.com/blog/kiwi-lime-pie-shots Website: http://handbagmarinara.com IG: @handbagmarinara...


S02 E05: TOW Cucumber Mush and Sucking Blowfish

It's TOW Five Steaks and an Eggplant! Monica's been promoted and wants to celebrate with a nice dinner, and Ross's birthday is coming up and there's all kinds of hooplah planned. Unfortunately Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey's wallets are burning because of it. Signature beverage: Cucumber Mush-itos: http://handbagmarinara.com/blog/cucumber-mush-itos Grab a mush-ito and join us as we discuss things like call screening, relationships built upon a lie, the wonder of Hootie and the Blowfish, and...


S02 E04: TOW Toxic Rachel and a Pot Pigeon

Phoebe's married (GASP), and her not-so-gay ice dancer husband is wearing a sparkly matador costume, so we're drinking sangria! Rachel's still trying to sabotage Ross and Julie's relationship and tries to convince Ross that NOT having sex is sexy. Chandler's got a nubbin! Joey was in a porno! All the secrets come out! Fashion-wise, Rachel's potting pigeons in an iconic "USA" shirt, Phoebe's wearing horses and taking us back to the 60s, and Monica's wearing some really bad pants. We talk...


S02 E03: TOW Death and Donuts

It's TOW Heckles Dies, and donuts sneak in quite a bit in the background, so we're drinking chocolate donut martinis! (Well, Heather is ... Elizabeth is on painkillers so she's having a different kind of fun.) We talk evolution, Neil Degrasse Tyson, tacky lamps, opposable thumbs, retro candles, and cultural appropriation (just to keep things spicy). IG: @handbagmarinara https://www.instagram.com/handbagmarinara/ More at:...


S02 E02: TOW the Breast Puns Ever

It's TOW the Breast Milk, and we're drinking cocktails inspired by Susan's comparison of it to cantaloupe juice. Heather made The Breast Martini, and Elizabeth made the Frozen Cantaloupe Rack-uiri! Ross is having a breast-istential crisis (Oreos save the day), Monica cheats on Rachel with Julie (at her house of worship!), and Joey has to battle a cowboy at the perfume counter (all to win Emily Proctor's heart). We talk breast milk (naturally), faces on milk cartons, and try to figure...


S02 E01: TOW Everyone's Suddenly Glamorous!

Grab a Blood Orange-o Tutti (our bubbly ode to Paulo's unfortunate return) and welcome to Season 2! We have an exciting announcement: We're fundraising for No Kid Hungry this season! Donate here to help end childhood hunger in America: http://join.nokidhungry.org/goto/HandbagMarinara This week, we review the season 2 opener, TOW Ross's New Girlfriend, and we talk handsy tailors, zebra-print Band-Aids, Dudley vs. Demi, overly enthusiastic PDA, and the full sexification of Rachel!...


S01 E23: TOW All the Fruit Baskets

SB: Birthday Cake Martini: https://inspiredbycharm.com/birthday-cake-martini/ Yippee! We made it through Season 1! Give us feedback: The good, the bad, and the squirtlenecky. You can either write to us at handbagmarinara@gmail.com, or visit this week’s post to leave a comment (link at the end of the show notes). This week, we talk about how hard it is to say “worcestershire,” the delights of Sockarooni sauce, carbalicious breakfasts, shark-lookin’ ties, THAT skirt that Rachel wore,...


S01 E22: TOW One Costume Change and a Chunky

Carol's in labor, Rachel's flirting with doctors, Monica's panicking about babies, and Ross and Susan are at each other's throats. It's TOW the Birth! Baby Ben is finally on his way. Carol and Susan stopped for a Chunky in the hospital gift shop -- so we made a Chunky martini, using PB&J vodka and Godiva dark! Jonathan Silverman and Leah Remini guest star in this episode. Since there's limited food (unless you count ice chips) and limited fashion (since everyone's wearing what they wore...


S01 E21: TOW A Beeper and a Walkman

It's TOW the Ick Factor! Monica's panicking that she's just slept with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial, so we made cocktails inspired by the 200th anniversary of the word "cocktail" coming into print! The "Improved Gin Sling" it is! If the mention of America's 200th birthday didn't make you feel old enough, then the beeper that Ross buys to stay in touch with Carol while they await their baby's birth or the cassette Walkman Monica uses while she's running should do the...


S01 E20: TOW Marcel Does Curious George

Marcel's humping everything, Monica's credit card's been stolen, and Joey thinks "Joseph Stalin" would be a great stage name. It's TOW the Fake Monica, and we're drinking chocolatey, tropical Banana Monanas in honor of both Marcel and Monica's fake moniker. Join us as we discuss Rachel's numerous nubbins, the psychology of Monica's wardrobe choices, 90s video games, zoos as college, and whether or not "variety shows" are dirty.


S01 E19: TOW Nobody Puts Rachel in the Corner

It's TOW the Evil Orthodontist! SB: Cocktails from the Russian Tea Room! FOOD: Is it breakfast? Is it brunch? Is it lunch? Butter-squirting chicken. Testosteroney. Cooking naked. FASHION: Brown wraps. Blue velvet. Unseen green dresses. Outerwear woes. FUN: Jennifer Grey guest stars! We talk nose jobs. Peeping Tom-ette double standards. The fun of the Pop-o-matic bubble. IG | HM: @handbagmarinara | EB: @takeonelizabeth | HD: @shoelove365 See photos, recipes, and more at...


S01 E18: TOW Rachel's Schoolgirl Outfit

Signature Beverage: Banana Daiquiri FOOD: Tea. Cheesy pizza. Russian dressing (with pickles on the side). Mysterious cereal bowls. LOTS of bananas. FASHION: THE SCHOOLGIRL OUTFIT. Monica is back in black (and white). Ross is a Professional (shocker!). A monkey in a dress. FUN: Baseball. Murder. Buses going really fast. Giant magnifying glasses. IG | HM: @handbagmarinara | EB: @takeonelizabeth | HD: @shoelove365 See photos, recipes, and more at http://handbagmarinara.com!


S01 E17: TOW Chips, Dip, and Pretz

SB: Salted Caramel Pretzel Martini http://fabulousfoods.com/articles/957587/salted-caramel-pretzel-martini It’s TOW All the Poker! The gang helps Rachel as she begins her search for a career in fashion, and the girls insist on joining the guys for poker. We’ve got “I Love Rachel” pizza, a cute interview outfit, and Ross potentially throwing a game … just to make Rachel feel better. IG | HM: @handbagmarinara | EB: @takeonelizabeth | HD: @shoelove365 See photos, recipes, and more at...


S01 E16: TOW George Clooney and Chandler, the Sexual Predator

SB: The Cocktail with Two Parts: Create your own cocktail featuring equal parts of two liquors! In this mega-review, we review both parts of TOW Two Parts. George Clooney makes a memorable guest appearance, we get our first glimpse of Ursula (gee, she looks familiar), and we discuss how, thanks to the #MeToo movement, Chandler would’ve likely ended up in jail for the rest of the series had it aired nowadays. Geez, Chandler! IG | HM: @handbagmarinara | EB: @takeonelizabeth | HD:...


S01 E15: TOW Whipped Fish and a Dirty (Talk) Moo-tini

SB: Gummy Bear Martini https://www.thespruceeats.com/gummy-bear-martini-recipe-759120 Steve the Restaurant Guy gets high and tries to rescue drowning gummy bears with some of Monica’s Sugar-O’s, so we figured a gummy bear martini was called for. FOOD: Whipped fish and ass-smacking ravioli are on the menu for Monica’s big restaurant interview. FASHION: Rachel’s a waitress -- for reals. Guess who’s back in black?! FUN: Melora Hardin and Jon Lovitz guest star! Ross struggles with G-rated...


S01 E14: TOW Chalky Heart-Shaped Antacids and a Grappa Fire

SB: Flight of the Concord https://www.rhinehall.com/grappa/ Seeing that the girls' bad-boyfriend cleansing ritual really heats up when Rachel pours the rest of Paulo's grappa onto it, we figured that this episode called for a grappa-based concoction. Heather tracked this one down and as a bonus, this recipe allowed us to use the creme de violette we haven't used since the pilot episode, when we made aviations. FOOD: This week, we've got baked goods (both sweet and savory), an ......