How To Not

K and Rob try to out-spiderwalk the oncoming storm. Today's WikiHow article: 3 Ways to Greet Someone Listen to learn all about Home Improvement, lo-fi Avengers, film history, Toronto weather patterns, and more. How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob dive into an article NOT READY FOR THE PUBLIC Today's WikiHow article: How to Attract a Skater How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob whisper words in italics. Today's WikiHow article: How to Improve Your Friendships Listen to learn all about Thomas Cruise, Old People Tinder, secondary locations, mid-2000's social media, clothes jokes, and not putting things in your mouth. How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob's baby gets demonetized. Today's WikiHow article: How to React to an Ugly Baby Listen to learn all about canes, beefs with God, tape noises, smashing like buttons, closer cookies, curses, compliment catchphrases, and maybe other 'C' words? But not that one. How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob uncover an anti-meme conspiracy. Listen to learn all about laugh jazz, how adage + proverb = adverb, grammatical laughter, job interviewer etiquette, and our T-shirt machine. Today's WikiHow article: How to Fake Laugh How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob reveal their exciting new religion. Listen to learn all about K's eyepatch, Tomorrowland, the Illuminati film club, paragons of averageness, the ghost of Ayn Rand, Michael Phelps versus a CGI shark, rules of fashion, posture, and more. Today's WikiHow article: How to Be Unforgettable How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob are reader-approved. Listen to learn all about K's music college, diva Daniel Radcliffe, self-helping bots, Sophia the Terminator, extra uses for pens, imitating your dog to make friends, lounge chair insides, selfie technique, Oprah's self-esteem lessons, and more. Today's WikiHow article: 3 Ways to Have a Pleasant Facial Expression How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob get terse. Listen to learn all about real games and FIFAs, a tub full of mice, tersely-worded hypocrisy, upsetting Twihards, fire safety, Justin Timberlake's listenership, lie-down measurements, the youths' skinny legends, and the great debaters of our time. Today's WikiHow article: How to Act Like a Werewolf (Girls) How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob put their foot down. In the "nuh uh" way, not in the "WikiHow thinks foot-stomping is clapping" way. Listen to learn all about opera-loving Boss Babies, praying with enthusiasm, Not-a-Claps, poetry reading etiquette, eye-clapping, actual useful WikiHow content, airplane clapping, Thunderpaws, concert etiquette, 'chworal' music, Jon “Succubus” Stewart, and movie-going etiquette. Today's WikiHow article: How to Clap Your Hands How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob discover the secret origins of Leslie Knope and John Mulaney. Listen to learn all about pronunciations of Regina, the WikiHow beauty standard, fairweather friends, signs you're old, Mean Girls versus Mean Women (in a non-gendered sense), essay-writing, bravery, Hermione Granger: The Meanest Girl of All, J.K. Rowling vs Joss Whedon, and an incredibly personal K Alexander story. Today's WikiHow article: How to Be a Mean Girl How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob drink too much coffee and call out your skincare routine. Listen to learn all about frugally spending your handful of fucks, fash shlosh, soap vs no soap, neg coaching, hand showers, God's hygiene plan, Oprah's retirement plans, musky soaps, gobs of Big Ol' Craig T. Shower Brand Body Wash, Gregory T. Shower chants, wet =/= dry, and Shazam but worse. Today's WikiHow article: How to Take a Shower if You Don't Want To How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob wonder why their friends don't answer their calls about elaborate Marble Traps. Listen to learn all about profiling wikiHow users, Macaulay Culkin, entertainment devices, accidentally Pavlovian training your significant other, the chore of the body, Big Marble, deathbed curses, Aunt Sylvia, Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off, and cartoon murders. Today's WikiHow article: How to Keep Yourself from Getting Scared While Home Alone How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob ask mother and father to let them show off that juicy butt. Listen to learn all about scanty birds and bees, butt-holders and butt-holsters, being a better Christian, Yeezys, papercraft clothes, bubble wrap, parenting strategies, and misidentifying Avengers. Today's WikiHow article: How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Wear a Thong How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

Kaitlyn is legitimately sick and Rob legitimately did not tell them what he was going to record. Listen for some quick updates on what's happening with the show! If you are reading this description, you are already subscribed to the correct feed and don't need the new URL.

K and Rob talk about 50 Shades of Grey, and nothing else. Listen to learn all about: God as the ultimate eyewitness, the Twilight-ing of mermaids, ASMR pleas, mer-doping, K's memory of obscure TV publicity stunts, Shape of Water vs Avatar sex, and Mr. Tim. Today's WikiHow article: How to Write a Mermaid Journal How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob spend 30 minutes asking over and over again for the article to just EXPLAIN WHAT RAGDOLL CULTURE IS. Listen to learn all about: self-liking on social media, toy addictions, esoteric questionaires, Hot Topic's business model, Zero the Ghost Dog, emphatic acting, seeding a fashion market, youths culture, letting the gays take it, standing up to Pennywise, and Tim "The Darkman" Tailor. Today's WikiHow article: How to Join the Ragdoll Culture How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob practice their eye kegels. Listen to learn all about: Holy Family Day, Canadian time travelers, '127 Hours' as a verb, lip care, Rob's ugly laugh and a K apology, saying 'veritable' instead of 'verifiable', little tiny people controlling you, Fembots, lip optimization, and God's chosen lipsticks. Today's WikiHow article: How to Bite Your Lip Seductively How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob would like you to meet Jeremy. Jeremy? Jeremy! Jeremyyyyyyy. Tonight's podcast will help you learn about: Netflix-style announcements, double flus, lesbian clocks, self-Catfishing, catchphrases, winter witness protection, street-shouting, and a new premise for the podcast. Today's WikiHow article: How to Have an Imaginary Boyfriend or Girlfriend How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob welcome you to the (un)official audiobook of WikiHow. Tonight's podcast will help you learn about: Country Mouse & City Mouse, mandatory restraining orders, genderless voids, armpits, Stairway to Heaven, nnnice, gal pals, #cupandpat, JFK, future babies, K's tired giggle, an alliterative phrase I will not write, & mom-scamming. Today's WikiHow article: 5 Simple Ways to Hug How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK

K and Rob maybe take this whole cat articles thing too far. Listen now to learn all about star clans, misquoting The Lion King, not circling back to that, proxy wrestlers, garbage cat authors, prophecy word counts, J. Lo clickbait, the genderless void, Twilight plotholes, millennial despondency, white destruction, frozen talons, catbirds, Rob incoherently babbling while talking about intelligence, the Netflix Original Orc Cop Holiday Film Bright starring Joel Edgerton, K Alexander: film critic, literally fancy pants, Edgar Allen Poe, and Weasley/Christ power rankings. Today's WikiHow article: How to Create a Warrior Cat Prophecy How to Not is a comedy podcast where K Alexander and Rob Moden read very real how-to articles to learn how to lead normal, human lives. Follow on Twitter and suggest a WikiHow article: @howtonotshow WikiHow Randomizer button: CLICK