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Ep 38: The Chinese Social Credit System, Police Hiring Hit-men, Unclear Packaging

This week on a special all straight white male edition of Masturhaters nerds cry about Belle Delphine's not so porny pornhub account, we tackle the ever epidemic of meth fueled attack squirrels, and make fun of incels. Also this week Jon hates the Chinese Social Credit System, Rich hates cops that stupidly hire hit-men and how little the FBI does to stop them, and Ron is nearly murdered by a poorly labeled Gatorade! Join our Facebook group:


Ep 37: Mondays, At Work Hysterics, Apartment Rules, Drunk Drive Thru

Welcome back everybody, sorry its been so long! we've had some issues but hopefully those are past us now. We are BACK!!! we've got a new friend Rich who this week is hating hysterics in the work place, Jon hates Mondays, Ron hates driving his drunk friends to the TacoBell drive thru, and Cara hates apartment rental rules and is also reading a very sexy Sonic The Hedgehog fan fiction! Join our facebook group: join the livestreams on sundays:...


Ep 36: College, Foster Kids For Cash, This Saved My Life, Lore Breakers, Upstairs Neighbors

We're back! this is episode is one that never made it up onto the feed but after this its all fresh content! this week Jon hates people who think that a band or a movie or a book saved their lives and won't shut up about it, Chris hates up stairs neighbors, Cara hates college, Ron hates people who try to change his nerd shit that he likes, and Alyssa hates foster parents that are only in it for the money.


Ep 35: Pyramids Schemes, Single Handed Faucets, Pitbulls, AntiChristian Movement Crybabies

We're back! this episode is an old one that never got uploaded the next episode will also be one that never made it to the feed, after that its all up to date current content. On this episode Jon hates pitbull sympathizers, Cara hates pyramid schemes, Alyssa hates Christian crybabies, and Ron hates single handed faucets.


Ep 34: Nature, Proud Illegal Immigrants, Valentines Day Haters, Maintaining Relationships

This week on Masturhaters the gang shoots of some spicy hot takes about the parkland school shooting. Jon looks at the dark underbelly of nature. Chris wants illegal immigrants to assimilate better into the country. Ron is sick of whiny shit bags who complain about valentines day. Alyssa riffs on how difficult it is to maintain personal relationships.


Ep 33: Adam Calhoun, Cultural Appropriation, PornStar Rape, Idiot Americans, Extreme Vacations

On this episode of Masturhaters, Jon shit talks YouTube fuck boi Adam Calhoun for being an unfunny douche. We explain what rape is to Chris again. Alyssa is sick of ignorant Americans. Cara hates Halloween costume drama in January. Ron thinks your cliff hammock makes you look like a dick.


Ep 32: Too Many Choices, 90's Cartoon Fanatics, Porn Addiction, Happy People

On this episode of Masturhaters, Chris hates that he can't jerk off without pornography. Jon is frustrated by the amount of option he has for every aspect of his life. Alyssa can't stand happy people. Ron is tired of millennial's with rugrats tattoos, grow up fggts.


The Jon & Chris Show Ep4: #protectyourcunt

The long awaited return of The Jon & Chris Show. Jon and Chris judge #metoo stories and play a game of rape or nah. The two go over some of the more prominent stories in the news including Youtuber Logan Paul's infamous suicide forest video and Donald Trumps shithole countries comment. Also they launch their new anti rape hashtag campaign #protectyourcunt.


Ep 31: Vegan Wanna Be Meat, Senile People, Christmas Lights, Chris, Brag Moms

On the first recorded episode of 2018 the Masturhaters Reunite! Chris thinks senile people don't have a right to exist, Ron thinks your fake meat recipe is just a shitty salad, Cara hates Christmas lights, Jon Saves Chris's life billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions of times, and Alyssa is sick of braggy moms and their ugly kids.


Ep 30: McDonalds Kiosks, Man Caves, Opening Night Cosplayers, Pearl Parties, Company Yes Men

On this episode of Masturhaters, Chris returns and hates his job again. Ron hates nerds who cosplay at movie openings, Alyssa is entranced by Facebook live stream pearl parties. Jon thinks man caves are shit, and joins the fight for fifteen after dealing with a faulty McDonalds kiosk.


Ep 29: Breakfast, Shifty Coworkers, Celebrity Rape Scandals, Being Pregnant

On this episode of Masturhaters Jon think breakfast is a hoax being pushed by big breakfast companies to sell your fat ass more jimmy dean sausages you fucking losers. Ron tells us all how he will throw you under the fucking bus if you steal from his dumb job. Cara doesn't give a shit if you were raped by her favorite celebrity,and Alyssa shares the plight of the pregnant woman in modern America. fuck you!


Ep 28: Group Moderators, Mall Pretzels, ASMR videos, Rape Kits

On this episode of Masturhaters, Cara doesn't understand forum rules. Ron's fingers are all buttery from delicious mall pretzels, Alyssa thinks ASMR videos are creepy. Jon thinks rape kits are archaic and out of date and are intrusive to people who have been recently victimized.


Ep27: Forest Fire Victims, Everyones A Loser, Holiday Season, Shitlord Jokesters, Male Feminists

On this Episode Of Masturhaters, Chris questions the will to live of people who die in forest fires. Alyssa has an existential crisis. Cara weighs in on the controversy of Christmas taking up too much of the year. Ron tells us how to deal with unfunny shit-lords, Jon rails on male "feminists" using the exposure of the "me too" moment to virtue signal to women in a weak attempt to get laid.


Ep 26: Disney Obsessed Adults, Stephen King Movies, Dollar Stores, The Words Donald Trump

On this episode of Masturhaters Jon tells a tale from behind the bar, and expresses why the words "Donald Trump" are a curse on any form of communication. Cara tells weak shit head adults to grow the fuck up and leave the Disney shit behind them. Alyssa rants on why dollar store are hellscapes on earth, and Ron tells us why Stephen Kine movie hype gives him ED.


Ep 25: Junk Drawers, Homeless People, Police Brutality Videos, Thot Memes, Show Spoilers

This episode of Masturhaters (the first one after a few weeks off), Jon's dad guests on the show, bringing homeless people as his hate and shares a few stories about his experiences with them on the train in NYC. Alyssa Hates how people knee jerk react to police brutality videos in defense of those resisting arrest. Ron hates girls on the internet and goes MGTOW. Chris shits on people who have to act out entire episodes of their favorite shows to sell him on watching them, and Jon explodes...


Ep 24: Tinder Stories, Cutters, Fin-dom, Douche Fads, Cumming To The Wrong Clip

On This episode of MasturHaters we have a guest, Nick Wild in to tell us some tinder stories and hate on sjw antics, Ron hates on annoying fads, Alyssa delves into the world of financial domination, Chris hates people that cut them selves and Jon cums to the wrong clip,


Ep 23: Damzels In Distress, Bad Music At Parties, Fighting With Parents, Hobbies=Virgin, Being Cold

On this episode of Masturhaters, Chris argues with his parents, Alyssa hates crying cunts, Jon hates your terrible music ruining parties, Ron doesn't have sex cuz he's really into star wars and fish, and Cara's cold i guess, whatever suck my dick. Sponsored by Natty Daddy, it'll get you drunk and Simply Nature Kale Chips, they are fucked.


Ep 22: Overzealous Sales People, Sex Robots, Marriage Stigma, Beer Snobs, White Privlege Deniers

Sorry for the wait everyone Masturhaters returns this week with a juicy episode filled with lots of laughs and maybe some cis white male tears, as Ron takes down white privilege deniers, Alyssa shares her hate of the marriage stigma, Jon fears that sex robots will cause the down fall of humanity, Chris shits on beer snobs, and Cara spits on people just trying to get by in entry level retail jobs. This episode is sponsored by dawn dish soap, its the best fucking degreaser.


Ep 21: Claiming Terror Attacks, Chat Apps, Train Passengers, Unexpected Drunk Adventures

This week on MasturHaters Chris hates that poor people can't afford cars, Alyssa gets hit on by squibs an a chat app that has been repurposed for exchanging nudes, Ron gets dragged to taco bell on a drunk adventure, and Jon claims responsibility for every terror attack,


Ep 20: Public Bathrooms, Food Allergies, Opinion Nazis, Fist Fight Videos, "Kids These Days"

This week on Masturhaters, Ron shows his pacifist side and cry's when men hit each other, Cara sits in piss as she goes off on why public bathrooms need a reformation, Alyssa thinks Kelly Clarkson needs to take better care of her demonic offspring. Jon doesn't understand food allergies and thinks old people should fuck off, Chris is out with a case of the aids.