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A New Great Movie Ride

This week on our program, we quiz ourselves on the late, great Great Movie Ride and then set about trying to remaster it for generations to come (in our imaginations). First up, Scottye invites guests to experience The Great Bad Movie Ride, featuring everything you know and hate to love from the silver screen and the bargain bin at an indoor flea market. It's really tearing me apart. Then Jim decides to play around inside Disney's very own wheelhouse as he showcases The Great Remake Ride,...


A New Country Bear Jamboree

With recent rumors of the possible closure of Florida's version of the Jamboree, your wonderful hosts set out to maybe #savethejamboree, or at least try to do something better than a puppet version of Woody's Roundup. First, Jim decides that if one attraction can be closed and redone, then toucan as he combines the bears and the tiki birds into a musical cacophony featuring hula skirts, straw hats, and some tiki gods in overalls. Then, Scottye leans into the rumor mill with vigor as he...


A New Expedition Everest

We begin this week with a very odd quiz about becoming a Disney animal. Somehow neither of us are Max Goof (he's a dog, after all). We then switch gears to the Animal Kingdom, and fixing what some might say is only just barely broken - a roller coaster themed after India or whatever. Scottye falls down a Disco Yeti rabbit hole (yeti hole) and somehow finds his favorite chef, while Jim goes on a Big Thunder-esque hunt for treasure with everyone's most favoritiest butler. You can almost hear...


A New Discovery Island

This week, we set our sights on the dilapidated and abandoned husk of land known as Walt Disney World's Discovery Island. After taking a quick drinking tour around the world at Epcot, Jim leads his guests onto the Steamboat Willie and to a world of animation history, featuring zany tours, art classes, black and white props, color changing magic, and the Disney Cruise's own Animator's Palate Restaurant. Then, Scottye takes his tour group through the potentially easiest and probably wildest...


A New Dinosaur Attraction

This week, after Scottye brings an incredibly NSFW quiz to the table, we try to do more than defeat the dreaded Tyrannosaurus Sax as we look to revamp all dinosaur attractions. With the quiz being all Scottye could prepare, he decided to follow in the footsteps of the Rock N Roller Coaster and make a ride based entirely off a rock song. It's all somewhat NSFW. Are you noticing a pattern? Jim tries to bring back decorum to the show and utterly fails as he rebuilds EPCOT in his own strange...


A New Dollywood's Blazing Fury

This week, we talk all about the wonders of Dollywood and the unwonder that is Blazing Fury. Scottye gives everyone his own MST3K recap of the attraction before we try and repair it. Things go about as well as usual when fire and an 8 year old girl trying to steal your man are involved. There's also a quiz. Jim would write more for these notes, but he has encountered a slight RSI issue and isn't currently fond of typing. Enjoy the show, anyway!


A New Ellen's Energy Adventure

This week, after discussing some current events about a galaxy far, far away, your hosts try and fail to master a quiz about a place one of the hosts was employed for nearly six months. Then they get to the real crisis of the show, as both hosts have different takes on what exactly an "energy adventure" should include. Somehow, one host takes a path down under to something mildly like a certain loathed Supercharged attraction, while the other takes a page out of a book full of racing tips...


A New Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh

This week, your honey-filled hosts tackle a redo of the maligned The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh. With the success of Tokyo's Pooh's Hunny Hunt, it seems only fitting that both of our attractions go as far away from being perfect specimens of trackless entertainment as possible. First, Jim clobbers a corner of Fantasyland to install a knockoff of an attraction a few hundred yards away as he invites guests to visit a Carousel Of Poohgress, featuring that brainy bear Pooh helping many...


A New E.T. Adventure

This week, your hosts use their superpowers (foreshadowing!) to develop new versions of Universal Studios Florida opening day attraction The E.T. Adventure. First up, Scottye gets small, gets sponsored, and gets thrown off a cliff all in the name of annoying a late night talk show host. This does, all, somehow make sense in context. Then, Jim finds inspiration in the logo for Amblin Entertainment, as he imagines an omnimover full of E.T. being a jerkass to other production companies. Somehow...


A New Journey Into Imagination

This week, it's all about everyone's favorite dragon and his unfavorite attraction, Journey Into Your Imagination With Figment. After a brief history lesson, Jim brings to the table an attraction to both shame and celebrate the rest of Future World as he mocks as many attractions as possible before a grand (and miraculous) reveal. Then, Scottye misremembers the closing of the original attraction in 1998 as "sometime in the 90s" and makes even the Carousel Of Progress seem timely as he...


A New Themed Amusement Park

It's a brand new season, and that means pitching brand new theme parks! Scottye weaves a tale of coaster shenanigans in New Jersey and then turns the floor over to Jim, who halfheartedly suggests two theme park ideas based on 80% of the Planeteers and one with paths that would make the concrete at Disney's Animal Kingdom seem like foam in comparison. Then, we get to the meat of the season, as Scottye decides we need to forget our usual approach of originality and head into The Asylum. What...


The Quest For A Finale

It is the season finale, and what better way to send off our D&D-inspired theme park than with a game? Grunk and Russ find themselves doing battle with an all-powerful wizard who isn't so pleased at what has transpired at the Kingdom. Can Grunk carry his poorly rolling ranger friend on his back? Can Jim figure out his own stats and the rules of the game? Can they survive? Listen and find out. STAY TUNED...Season Six will begin on May 6th.


The Quest For A Weenie

This week in the penultimate episode of season five, Jim gives the merchandise of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge a piece of his mind, Scottye does lots of confusing math, and then both hosts give the Mysterious Kingdom it's own royal castle weenie! First up, Scottye takes guests into The Home Of The Mad King, a walkthrough full of clues on the history of the kingdom's former (?) ruler to potentially earn a chance to recieve (steal?) your very own royal crown. Then, Jim enters a vast garden maze to...


The Quest For Randomness

On this week's show, we discuss Disney Parks recent bans of smoking, vaping, cotton farming, strollers with engines, kiddie wagons, Shakespeare In The Park productions, underpriced merchandise, and any ice that isn't made by Elsa who they have trapped in a refrigeration unit somewhere in the depths of Tom Sawyer Island. Then, things get...kind of random. First up, Jim finds himself on a Quest For Passage as guests must train for the difficult realities of (illegal) wagon travel outside the...


The Kwest For A Kraken

This week, it's that one day a year where you just might think what Disney and Universal pitch is a joke (but it isn't!), but in the Mysterious Kingdom, we don't have time for such shenanigans because there's a Kraken on the loose! First up, Scottye invites everyone on a Quest For Booty featuring pirates, caves, goggles, and a certain sort of locker - not to mention that there feisty Kraken. Then, Jim scoops up the children for a fun time in his new play area Carla Kraken's Kidzone (please...


The Quest For An Escape

This week, Scottye grows litigious and then disappointed at the new Nickelodeon animated film Wonder Park, then your fine hosts try their best to design fantastical escape room attractions for the Mysterious Kingdom. First up, Jim looks for inspiration in the horror film Cube, as he tasks his guests to test the dungeon designs of a crazy orc in _Echo Security _, where every room is the same, but not quite. Then, Scottye sends guests on The Search For The Power Glove by way of a zany (and...


The Quest For The Hydra

This week, Scottye regales us with the splendor and the horror of his recent central Florida theme park vacation, then both try thier hands at creating attractions based off the mythical Hydra. First up, Scottye follows the "technically possible" show tag down a strange path as he invites sixty four guests at a time to become a part of the Hydra itself on a megacoaster inside The Hydra's Cave. Hold on to your necks for that one. Then, Jim puts his neck on the line as he pitches the tale of...


The Quest For Dinner Theatre

This week, after some news about Galaxy's Edge, your good boys set about on the challenge to create some exciting dinner theatre for the guests of the Mysterious Kingdom. First up, Jim invites patrons into The Sqauwk Show, a late night type of talk show featuring a barely functioning wizard, a talking bird, and a range of zany guests. Then, Scottye tasks hungry folks to not only find the entrance to his show, but also not succumb to the sweet persausions of The Society Of The Enlightened...


The Quest To Build Character

This week, we begin with a quick discussioin about some of Epcot's upcoming changes and then segue into how we would design the entrance to our Mysterious Kingdom to better help our guests with character creation in a way that probably will help them be separated from most, if not all, of their money. There are shops featuring all sorts of various wares, a high-fallutin' training center, and even a redemption zone, which is more commercial than it sounds.


The Quest For Points

This week, after a rousing double dip of PassFast (our show within a show), we send guests on a quest for delicious, wonderful POINTS. First up, Jim invites his guests to tackle the Colosseum Champion's Quest through the use of cheap carnival games and the wonders of virtual reality. Maybe you'll even get a shout-out at the Mysterious Kingdom's daily Colosseum Action Stunt Fight Spectacular Showcase Show! Meanwhile, Scottye has stumbled upon a castle. But not just any castle. No, it is the...