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Opposite Attractions

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Challenge: Squatter's Rights (Attraction For Each Other)

This week, we try our hands at some devious underhanded trickery and bamboozlement as we design attractions for each other's sides of the parks. Scottye takes one look at Jim's personality and decides what JimCity needs is Spaceship Purrrrrth becuase it's not an OppAtt park without a geodesic sphere parody, especially one about animated felines. Meanwhile, in Scottland, Jim has trapped some guests in a game known as Bad Libs, a trackless maze of their own dreams and fears hosted by a spicy...


Challenge: Electric Holiday (Robot Attraction)

This week, after a quick discussion of cartoon-based phone messages, your plucky designers get on the proverbial dance floor and do the robot. First, Jim brings his guests to the JimCity Expo Center and his attraction Fight Botz, a somewhat crowd-controlled robot battle showcase where even if your bot loses in the ring, you win by getting quality destructive entertainment. Meanwhile, Scottye sets up shop on the border to Scottland with JimCity's Happy Fun Ride Of Joy (or whatever it's...


Challenge: The Band Concert (Night Time Spectacular)

This week, we create dueling night-time shows for our park to help our guests close out their magical days in style. First, Scottye weaves a tale known as The Story Of Scottland, a show with a 5-drink minimum and cannonfire. What could possibly go wrong? Meanwhile on the other side of the park, Jim more blatantly inflates his own ego in the style of the rock opera by way of the band Jimple Minds in his show Don't You Forget About Me, an incredibly faithful and one thousand percent true...


Challenge: Get Rich Quick (Sponsored Attraction)

This week it's all about getting that sweet sweet $$ as we set about finding sponsors for our park's attractions. First, Jim corals two lucky sponsors into a familiar duel as La Croix and Captain Morgan compete in a Beverage Showdown, each creating attractions that help you feel a little drunk or a bit more refreshed, plus you can get a photo op with the Captain himself, or maybe a french hipster moose. Meanwhile, Scottye's marketing department has been burning the candle at both ends...


Challenge: The Simple Things (Get-A-Souvenir Attraction)

This week, we dig deep into our brains to create attractions where our guests exit with their own souvenirs! Prices and participation may vary! Scottye brings his guests to The Creation Corner where they can partake in writing challenges, leatherworking, painting, weaponsmithing, and of course mixology. Meanwhile, Jim sets his sights back on WeDew Mountain (from episode 3 of this season) and invites guests to UBU, pronounced "You Be You", a place where you can make your dreams of taking...


Challenge: The Grocery Boys (Food-Based Attraction)

Everybody loves food, including your pals at Opposite Attractions, so this week we decided to make food the star of our attractions in so much as we could muster. First up is a ride-to-a-restaurant known as Jimmy's Buffet: Escape From Flavortown where guests escape from Johnny Garlic's and into a much nicer buffet down the street while riding in their own booths. Meanwhile, Scottye proves there was not much for Jim's guests to escape from as he wields his power to will Finkatouille into...


Challenge: How To Be A Detective (Escape Room Attraction)

After a week of Scottye taking in the sights, sounds, and tastes of Orlando, your brave crew returns to create Escape Rooms (for a price!). Scottye invites his guests to part with their hard-earned cash to visit Southern Mythology, a distillery with a creepy past and tasty liquors. Can you find your way out in only an hour and bring with you the greatest treasure Scottye can dream up?? Meanwhile, Jim struggles to find a name, or much of anything, for his escape room he is now tentatively...


Challenge: Opposite Attractions In Mathmagic Land (Educational Attraction)

This week, your brave skippers tackle educational attractions! After a PassFast visit to New Jersey, Jim teaches the world to scream on his attraction, Forces Of Nature, a Test Track that's less about car safety and more about the pull of gravity and acceleration. If physical whiplash isn't your cup of mead, then swing on over to Scottye's emotional whiplash of an attraction The End Of The World Tour where parents will be delighted in having to explain to their children exactly what they...


Challenge: Lonesome Ghosts (Spooky Attraction)

This week, we continue our tradition of SpooooooOOOOoooky attractions! First up, Scottye delivers The Swing From Hell, a 1930's nightclub speakeasy rollercoaster with a 3 drink minimum of fire, brimstone, and some bitchin' tunes from Postmortem Jukebox, playing live every night at The Hellhole! Meanwhile, on the other side of the park, Jim has sent his employees out ghost-hunting and they may have accidentally incurred the wrath of the Marx Brothers in his rotating theater attraction...


Challenge: Jungle Rhythm (Jungle Attraction)

This week on our world famous program - the deepest darkest jungle attractions! Jim makes it all about himself as he invites guests to experience Jim's (Apparently) Amazing Jungle Adventure and boy is there a reason that one word is in parenthesis. Join Jim as he delights you with tales of a recent Central America jungle trek while his engineers and artists show you how everything really happened. Meanwhile on the other side of the park, Scottye takes guests down a very special river on...


Challenge: All Together (Weird Kiddie Attraction)

This week, Scottye lays out the challenge for a crazy weird kiddie ride and comes out swinging with The Exquisite Corpse, a humdinger of an attraction that appears to feature almost every popular theme park attraction rolled up into a single mystifying conflagration of fun. It also has an 8-drink minimum, so maybe save this one for later in the day. The cocktail(s) of choice are the USS Bomber for the adults (link to the recipe below) and something known as Shit for the kiddos, an...


Challenge: Building A Building (Anchor Attractions)

This week, we look at the big show-stopping attractions for each side of our new theme park. Jim, having done little preparation last week, gets more in-depth on his vision for his side of the park and its new showcase attraction The Golden Coaster, because when one is talking theme park history, it's hard to ignore how important the coaster is. The attraction also includes exhibits, ways to design your own coaster (think CyberSpace Mountain), and other fun surprises. Meanwhile, Scottye...


Challenge: The Karnival Kids (Create A New Theme Park)

It's the season premiere and you know what that means - a brand new theme park! This time, Scottye and Jim put themselves against each other to create the Opposite Attractions theme park of their dreams. Jim controls one half, Scottye controls the other, a line in the sand has been drawn like so many sitcom sibling rivalries. What do we learn this episode? Scottye has lots of ideas, some of which include dicks. Jim has a history lesson, not so many dicks though. Please note that we cut out...


Challenge: You're Welcome (What Stays And What Goes At Vista)

It's the second season finale and you know what that means - time to kill our children! Scottye and Jim attempt to bungle their way through all their notes to find out what attractions Vista will present to the world on it's opening day. A triangle of knock-offs, dick jokes, and everything we couldn't put in a category greets guests as they enter a land of tweets, 'grams, and inspirational status updates (and plenty of corporate advertisements) en route to a magical day at the first ever...


Challenge: Try Everything (Holiday/Seasonal Event)

This week, we give Vista a much needed hit of that seasonal festival love that our good friends at Disney love so much. Jim invites Al Gore to bring the scary and the hilarity and Scottye somehow creates Opposite Attractions: The Convention in a manner that isn't so much funny as it is potentially legally treacherous. Then he shoots children with a present gun - you know, for the magic.


Challenge: I Wanna Be Like You (Cheap Knock-Off Attraction)

Yeah, so, apologies in advance for the wack-a-doo audio quality this week. It's like the podcast gods heard we were making cheap knock-offs and decided the sound had to be like that too. Anyway, after some talk about digging in Diggerland, Jim and Scottye set forth back into the Pirate Bay to showcase their very own cheap knock-off attractions. Scottye does what he does best and immediately involves Keanu Reeves, among other celebrities, while Jim travels deep into the mind of a...


Challenge: Look Through My Eyes (Bodycam Attraction)

This week, Jim thought it was a good challenge to put bodycams on theme parks guests. Was he correct? Scottye is ready player one to put the internet in charge of your basic motor functions while Jim turns Universal's Halloween Horror Nights into a democratic election (with cheap 3D tricks, wakka wakka!) But before all that, Scottye googles for the worst theme parks ever and is absolutely not disappointed both in the lack of quality and the abundance of dicks. It's like the internet knows...


Challenge: Good Company (Sponsored Attraction)

This week, the world's slowest rollercoaster and the world's most expensive theme park lounge! Plus, sponsored attractions for VISTA! Scottye brings in companies far and wide while Jim sets his sights on a land of (illegal) treasures! It's a blockbuster of an episode, so check it out!


Challenge: God Help The Outcasts (Meme-Based Attraction)

This week, Scottye and Jim discuss theme park employee wear, minor and sometimes accidental acts of theft, and memes! Jim signs up a fifth day dad (tm) to be a Star Wars Kid, while Scottye dabs his way to internet fame and invents some kind of nyan cat dance-based rollercoaster complete with plenty of exposition as to what exactly the crap is going on. Pretty normal show, all in all.


Challenge: Scales & Arpeggios (Dragon Attraction)

This week, it's all about dragons except when it's about Jim's new show-witin-a-show PassFast where he discusses rides and/or attractions he absolutely will pass and fast. After that, your faithful hosts delve into their dragon attractions and Scottye finds it difficult to insert a hidden dickey into a ride that is literally about hacking the internet. Jim then showcases a weak rollercoaster of his own design that he would also probably not ride. If you dig the show, feel free to check us...