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Rat Cafe: Episode 81

Rygar, Offroad and Borg present another set of unusual stories from the internet. Cat cafes, dog cafes and even a rat cafe. But first we chat about the hard-hitting questions that everyone’s been dying to know: What kind of coffee do you like? What kind of hipster? How tall is America? Why does Charlie Chaplin have the same mustache as Hitler? There exist cat cafes where you can drink coffee while you hang around with free-roaming cats. There are also dog cafes which are very similar to the...


Spin Cycle: Episode 80

This is a re-release of episode 13. Let's take a break and look back at the way things were. We spend a bit of time watching a wash machine cycle (we review someone else’s review) and it’s some of the most fun I’ve had in a while. There’s suspense, heartache, thrills, and... cats! Here’s a little spoiler: 1600 RPMs! Lyrebird is a startup with new speech synthesis technology. They can take a one minute recording of someone’s voice and use it to generate a key which can then be used to...


Zombie Cat: Episode 79

A family buried the wrong pet, police accidentally pepper spray the Tour De France, two men escape from a nursing home to attend a heavy metal show, a 14 year old is running for governor, a captured fugitive was recorded doing the 'in my feelings challenge', and Jim Cooper with "interesting news". Music by Uncle Milk For more visit


Flippy The Flipper: Episode 78

Reading the whole internet and bringing you the weird. This week a woman escapes from a cougar using telepathy, Flippy the robotic hamburger flipper is moving up to the big leagues, and a parasite that reduce your fear of failure. Music by Uncle Milk For more visit


Hybrid Dolphins, Tiny Pizza Chairs, and Baby Shark Thieves: Episode 77

This week we talk about thieves that steal a shark by dressing it like a baby. Then, you know that little plastic thing that keeps the pizza box from squishing the pizza? It's called a pizza table and now you can get tiny little matching pizza chairs. We also talk about a man who dug a hole in his living room to look for treasure. Finally, those crazy scientists are at it again and this time they've discovered a new hybrid dolphin. There's a lot of weird stuff on the internet and not enough...


Gibberish Song, Literally Poisonous Books, and Combustible Tortilla Chips: Episode 76

This week Borg hosts this episode as we talk about literally poisonous books, a bot that negotiates your bills, a gibberish song, and combustible tortilla chips. There are some old books that are covered in poison, just like in that novel "The Name of the Rose". There's also this chatbot that will chat with your bills and try to negotiate you a better price. Then Prisencolinensinainciusol is song that supposed to sound like English to people who don't speak English, but it's complete...


Crow Vending Machine: Episode 75

This week we talk about drunk seagulls, crow vending machines, the lunar wave, and lighting a cigarette off of a burning car. There's a lot of weird stuff on the internet and not enough time to look through all of it. We find all of the unusual news and scrunch it into about a half hour. Music by Uncle Milk For more visit


Cats on the Internet: Episode 74

Cats and the internet, sarcophagus soup, an accident prone koala, internet shutdown in Algeria, and Reddit's shower thoughts. Music by Uncle Milk For more visit


Helicopter Prison Break, Accidental Car Theft, and the Woman Mistaken for Dead: Episode 73

It’s Robot Pizza Van, where we read the entire internet to bring you the odd interesting and unusual news stories, my name is Offroad and today we’re talking about A woman who was found alive in the morgue, a helicopter prison break, an accidental car theft, and the Flynn Effect. Music by Uncle Milk For more visit


Rat Eats Cash, Snail Memory Transfer, and Odd Promotional Product: Episode 72

A rat eats $19,000 in cash, memory is transferred between two snails, meat scented candles, and a kid is cleaning up the ocean. Special appearance by Mathman. A rat got into an ATM machine and nibbles all the bills. Find out how you can tell if rats have eaten YOUR money. Then, scientists transfer the memory of one snail to the mind of another snail. We also look at the hottest new condiment merchandising - meat scented candles (I forgot these are candles and I've been eating them). Finally...


Turtle Crossing: Episode 71

Some drivers intentionally hit turtles. Leonidas of Rhodes holds an Olympic record for around 2,000 years, until recently. A severed rattlesnake head bites a man. A wolf-like creature is discovered in Montana. Is it the Game of Thrones dire wolf? A poor little squirrel was rescued from his overgrown teeth. Mid-year resolutions. Justin Trudeau's left eyebrow has gone off the hook and other strange video artifacts. Music by Uncle Milk For more visit Friends of the van...


Woolly Mammoths? We'll Get Around To It: Episode 70

Some guy is selling a hot dog in a bottle of water, Hot Dog Water. Scientists found a 99 million year old frog that was trapped in amber, along with the beetle that the frog was about to eat. Cloning woolly mammoths? We'll get around to it. You know those tiny bottles of alcohol? A truckload of them spilled on a highway. Earlier it was a truckload of spaghetti sauce. Before that it was bourbon and before that it was frozen pizzas. All spilled on highways... in the same state. Bring...


Lemonade Stand Fines: Episode 69

Robot Pizza Van reads the entire internet and tells you about the funny things. This week's special guest, author and artist... David Bright. What do we talk about this week? A pile of onions out in the desert. A snake causes a power outage. A robot dog's funeral. A celebration that causes an artificial earthquake. A company that will pay any fines that kids get for running a lemonade stand. Music by Uncle Milk Follow us wherever you listen to podcasts....


Drink With A Toe: Episode 68

Here's some things. To qualify for an internship at one of the world's largest candy company you have to identify every Skittle flavor blindfolded. Changing the subject, there is an iPhone case that doubles as a 20 pound dumbbell so you can... I don't know. But hey, here's a different thing... sharks will listen to jazz if you give them food and there's a restaurant that gives it's patrons water pistols to fight off the seagulls. Which reminds me... there's a bar that serves a drink with an...


Robot Politicians, Audio Illusions, Mussels on Opioids, and a Dead Man's Finger: Episode 67

A robot is running for Mayor, we listen to a few audio illusions, Seattle mussels test positive for opioids, the police use a dead man's finger to unlock a phone, and Somebody Spilled Something Somewhere. Music by Uncle Milk and The Zombie Dandies. Follow us wherever you listen to podcasts. @robotpizzavan on Twitter


Secrets of Alphabet Spaghetti, A Weird Gun, Ducks That Speed, and A New Joggling Record: Episode 66

Each week we read the entire internet and then tell you about the funny parts. This week find out which letters are in a can of alphabet spaghetti and if it spells anything. Then a gun is discovered sticking out of a car's bumper, science has a new theory as to why ice is slippery, a duck is caught speeding, and there is a new joggling world record. Still 99% politics free and it would have been 100 except that I mentioned the word politics twice now. Music by Uncle Milk and The Zombie...


Accidental Zombie Alert, Cheetos Shortage, and the Amenities of an $85 Million Apartment: Episode 65

An accidental zombie alert goes out over the public emergency system... again. If they keep doing this then when the real zombies come nobody is going to believe it. We've got a classic case of 'the boy who cried zombie'. Also, a woman claims that Oreo never paid a prize that she won. Then, New York is running out of Cheetos. And finally, an $85 million dollar apt comes with trip to space and other anemones... enemies...amenities! These are the newses! Music by Uncle Milk Follow us wherever...


Weird Voicemails, Phone Booth Stuffing, Polished Tin Foil, and The Tiny Tooth Sensor: Episode 64

Phone booth stuffing was an attempt to see how many people could fit inside of a phone booth. Phone booth stuffing also sounds like it could be a side dish at a the AT&T company picnic. Before that, we get a voicemail about weird and mysterious voicemails from the 'What The Podcast' ( And before both of those two other things we discover that it takes a lot of work to create a polished aluminum foil ball. And finally,...


Zombie Raccoons, Exploding Ants, Why Haven't Aliens Visited Earth, and Borg's Pet Fly: Episode 63

Offroad, Rygar and Borg read the entire internet to find the newsiest stories for you. This week… why haven't aliens visited earth, zombie raccoons, a man waters a plant for his late wife, and exploding ants. Also today, for the first time, we learn the name of Borg’s pet fly. Music by Uncle Milk Follow us and share @robotpizzavan on Twitter


The Typo That Won the War, a 44 Furby Organ, Robot Strippers, Phone Bans and Things: Episode 62

Hey, this time… The typo that won the war, a 44 Furby organ, robot strippers, and other things. Ok, the other things are... a paper airplane folding machine, some of Yoko Ono's art was stolen, a student that works around the phone ban, and ladies and gentleman, today we meet Borg's pet fly. Music by Uncle Milk For more visit @robotpizzavan on Twitter