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ARCHIVE: Do the Rothschilds Own Me?

Before we get back to new episodes, we'd love it if you could take our survey about the podcast and tell us what you think of it! Here's the link: Thanks pals. Anyway, this week we've got another goodie! Alex places the future of the podcast in peril by delving into the murky history of the richest family on the planet, while Caroline examines two things that have been on her chest lately - the fact that we used to have boobs in films, and fact that a...


ARCHIVE: Why Is There A Dirty Bird In My Pants? with Pro Wrestling: Eve

Caroline has thrush again (of course!) and there's a new royal baby on the way, so now's a good time to revisit this episode! What’s that itchy feeling, and why has it nested in Caroline’s underwear? This week she investigates the yeasty world of thrush, while Hannah ventures out for some fresh air and asks some silly questions to Emily Read, co-founder of Eve Women’s Pro Wrestling, and Rhia O’Reilly, wrestling champ and head trainer at Eve Academy. Meanwhile Alex examines how...


ARCHIVE: How Can I Be Un-Young Gracefully? with Marion Rankine

We've all got a year older since this one first aired (all of us apart from Helen Mirren, of course) so now's a good time to peel the Werther's Original off it and use it upside down by mistake. Hold onto your Ordnance Survey, listeners, because this week we're delving into your dad's glove box with lessons on buttons, maps and umbrellas! Caroline says the word button so much it loses all meaning, Hannah teams up with some sea monsters to get lost in the confusing world of map copyrighting,...


ARCHIVE: What Is Gwyneth Paltrow?

A true classic from the vaults this week, with Caroline's now famous exposé on goop. This week, Alex learns that our hair is just lots of whiskers, Hannah finds out that prosecco fizz is a bit like Schrödinger's cat, and Caroline lifts the veil on Gwyneth Paltrow. We also discuss how coding can help us pull in our Women Who Code mixer, and finally, practice how to be good mentors in our smart lesson. If you can understand it all, well done! We’ll send you a gold star in the post. Contact:...


ARCHIVE: How Many Dumb Women Does It Take To Write A Song? with Harry Harris

Yes a third archive episode! How long will we do this for? Who knows! This week in honour of a visit from resident jingle creator Harry Harris, the Dumb Women go musical. Caroline investigates why earworms are so rah rah ah-ah-annoying, Alex looks into why Beethoven was the Michael Jackson of his day, and Hannah stands on the table to belt out an inadvisable medley about Karaoke. Our Women Who Code mixer looks at how AI is going to put singer-songwriters out of work, and finally in the...


ARCHIVE: Are Seahorses The Working Girl Of The Ocean? with Tobi Oredein

Are you hoping to be fobbed off with a top-quality archive episode this week? Because you're in luck! Who keeps the metric system down? This week, Hannah goes on a deep dive down her ruler to figure out just what in the hell is making international baking so confusing. Alex stands up for seahorses, the 80s power business lady of the seas, while Caroline says very little and instead invites Black Ballad creator Tobi Oredein to tell us all about Issa Rae and Insecure. In our Women Who Code...


ARCHIVE: What Is Sex And Should I Have Some? with Helen Duff

We're taking a break this month so we've cracked one of our favourite (and most sexy) episodes out of the archive just for you, you filthy beasts. Make sure you’re doubling up with the pill and Durex Extra Safe, because this week we’re talking kissing, sex and Hannah’s personal lubricant of choice, squash. We also spice things up by asking comedian Helen Duff to talk us through sexual intercourse (who’s having it? Why?), orgasms (some kind of biscuit, I guess?) and a tantric shaman called...


BONUS: Self-help with Dr Jane Frail

To help you survive the difficult holiday season, we've put together a compendium of the very best life advice from our favourite self-help guru, Dr Jane Frail. She discusses meditation, breathing, sleeping, and self-care, and even has some tips on how to deal with tricky family members. Contact: Music by Harry Harris, artwork by Gavin Day. Recorded at Soho Radio Studios.


63. What Makes A Christmas Special?

Christmas is a time for overindulgence, so this week we present you with not one but two dumb guests, some bad crackers (mostly Alex’s) and a few vagina jokes just for Christmas seasoning. Alan Maguire of Roast Chestnuts and Juvenalia podcast fame talks to Caroline about made-for-TV Christmas movies and why they’re having a resurgence this year, Hannah finds out the frankly heartwarming story behind Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Alex gifts us a special Christmas poem and forces us to...


INTRODUCING: Sentimental Garbage

We're clogging up your podcast box with something a bit different today – a taster of Sentimental Garbage, a new podcast about chick-lit and the "guilty pleasures" you're done feeling guilty about. Created and hosted by certified Dumb Woman Caroline O'Donoghue and produced by Dumb Host Hannah Varrall, Sentimental Garbage celebrates classics of "commercial women's fiction" by authors such as Marian Keyes, Jill Mansell and Helen Fielding. In this first episode, Caroline chats to journalist...


BONUS: Breaking Up with Monica Heisey

In episode 62, special guest Monica Heisey (Baroness Von Sketch, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better) joined us for a Smart Lesson on how to break up online, using Instagram Stories of bubble baths and strange Icelandic horses. In this bonus episode featuring the full conversation, we discuss ill-advised tattoos, Jennifer Garner and Alex's 'slut spiral'. Contact: Music by Harry Harris, artwork by Gavin Day. Recorded at Soho Radio Studios.


62. Why Can't I Like Pizza?

Is pizza really God’s gift to bad restaurants or is it just over-hyped cheesy bread? This week, Hannah gets to the bottom of this deep dish problem while Caroline tries to fix the economy by investigating inflation and realising that actually, it doesn't make any damn sense. Meanwhile at the Women Who Code mixer Alex gets to know AI lie detectors - or perhaps they get to know her. Finally special guest Monica Heisey (Baroness Von Sketch, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better) joins our Smart...


61. Who Will Buy My Beanie Babies?

Dig out your Beanie Babies from the loft because you could be a millionaire! Is something you might have heard twenty years ago. But why? Caroline investigates the bean-ed ones and tells us why a man in a rented Rolls Royce is the reason we all went so bloody mad for them, before wellness expert Dr Jane Frail drops in for a terrifying tutorial on how to sleep (with a filthy conscience). Next, Alex dusts off her pipes to tell us why Tina Turner is Simply The Strongest Woman To Walk The Earth,...


BONUS: Art with Gavin Day

In episode 60, the very handsome Gavin Day came to the studio to tell us all about art, money and why Banksy is a bit of a shit, actually. In this bonus episode featuring the full conversation, he dishes the dirt on his one-way relationship with Nigella Lawson, explains why the Mona Lisa was sent to New York strapped to a mattress, and tells us how how children can help to improve art criticism. Contact: Music by Harry Harris, artwork by Gavin Day. Recorded at Soho...


60. Am I Too Poor For Art? with Gavin Day

Should you drink your own wee all the time or only on special occasions? Urine for a treat this week as Hannah investigates all things piss, before Caroline takes the stage at our Women Who Code mixer to explain that you might want to start being nicer to your laptop, lest you hurt its feelings. Next we ask celebrity guest Gavin Day (the smart man who made our logo) to tell us why a piece of art costs more than a two-bed London flat, and finally we give our unwanted advice to a Reddit user...


BONUS: Oscar Wilde with Alison Gingeras

In episode 59, Hannah went to the Oscar Wilde Temple at Studio Voltaire to learn all about Oscar Wilde and his legacy within the LGBTQ community. In this bonus episode featuring the full conversation, curator Alison Gingeras discusses how aestheticism aimed to break down class barriers, the influence Wilde's mother "Speranza" had on his life and how, along with artists David McDermott and Peter McGough, she's created a beautiful space that uses art to make sense of suffering. Contact:...


59. Who Even Buys Flavoured Condoms? with Alison Gingeras

Good news, folks – there’s a 98% chance that this week’s episode will effectively prevent pregnancy, mostly because of what Caroline reveals about her nose-picking habits. But before that, Alex finds out how long we’ve been sheathing penises in dead animal skin, Dr Jane Frail visits the studio to teach us how to breathe (and get revenge on an ex), and Hannah runs off to the Oscar Wilde Temple at Studio Voltaire, to find out more about the man himself and his legacy within the LGBTQ+...


BONUS: Romcoms with Ayisha Malik

In episode 58, author Ayisha Malik came to the studio to teach us all about what a romcom is and whether they are a force for good or for evil. In our full conversation, Ayisha discusses not watching The Big Sick, feeling represented in Jane Austen novels and inviting a third wheel along to a date. Contact: Music by Harry Harris, logo design by Gavin Day. Recorded at Soho Radio Studios.


58. Is This Podcast Gluten-Free? with Ayisha Malik

Caroline’s 50% less farty than usual in today's episode, and the gang are taking apart the bread bin to find out why gluten is nature’s gas machine. Alex has the murder podcast bug, but it’s ok because it’s a Victorian murder, therefore dodging all of our suspicions that true crime podcasts are evil and bad. Meanwhile Hannah wins a gold star by inviting author Ayisha Malik to the studio to talk romcoms, representation and dating while Muslim. At the Women Who Code mixer we get into the mad...


57. Are You My Guardian Angel?

Omg this episode is totally random! Oh hang on, no, it was very planned, and in it Hannah charts the early noughties comedy trend to find out what made sporks and badgers so gosh-darned funny. Meanwhile Caroline meets her guardian angel during a crisis of confidence, and Alex cracks the vault on bank holidays, days off and wearing white after Labour day. Finally, our wellness expert Dr Jane Frail tells us about self care and cyclists, and we take on a new reddit relationship question in our...