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Taking the Cynic Route

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Episode 21: Yule Logs and Donkey Dongs: The Smells of Xmas

We found a gift behind the tree when we were taking down the hole-a-day decorations. That gift is episode 21. Guinea John is critical of KFC's yule log, Bruce tells us about Twister Key parties, and I took a massive dump just before recording. We discuss the 2019 Rock & Roll HOF, Godzilla porn, and Guinea John enlightens us to a new term, "shirt potatoes." Feliz Navidad can suck Dominick's donkey. Enjoy! DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.


Episode 20: A Dash of Ripple in Your Taster's Choice?

HAPPY HOLE-A-DAYS! On this joyous episode we discuss Bruce's holiday visitor, Guinea John's butt trumpet, and Hugh Hefner's buried porn treasure. "Chris Rock" stops by, we try out a few new segments, and reminisce about smell-a-vision. There's dookie in the coffee can, immigrants with facial scars, and GEICO is trying to give you a hard-on for insurance. Welcome to the wonderful world of TTCR. Download. Like. Subscribe. Share.


Episode 19: Happiness is a Warm Pun, Stephen...

_On this mini masterpiece we touch a little bit of everything. From politics to baseball and Louis CK to the Star Wars Xmas special. We even dive into a conspiracy theory pinning John Lennon's murder on world famous author Stephen King. Honestly, there is just too much nonsensical hilarity to list so you might as well just download and listen. _


Episode 18: Aromafappathy and the Sticky Cosmos

On this special episode (18) the TTCR gang welcomes back Scott Monahan to the studio. We dive into Mother's Day advertising, top songs/bands of the early 90's and different things we used for inspiration during adolescent "alone" time. A few awful Eric Clapton jokes, a discussion about John Wayne's poo and a heaping helping of 80's/90's movie discussions and you have yourself one helluva meal. LIKE, DOWNLOAD, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE. PS - Sir Mix-A-Lot > Mumble Rap


Episode 17: What If Larry King Hadn't Been Aborted?

_This one is a humdinger of a good time. Dust off the ol' dick depot because we are talking TV shows then and now. The Banana Splits, The Wire, and GLOW to name a few. Guinea John explains his hatred for both Larry King and Thomas Edison. Bruce explains how hashtags work and how his car does not. Lots of discussion about abortion and Roe v. Wade which then evolves into us just listing euphemisms for genitalia. Diane Keaton drops by with a few lines from The Godfather and we discuss our...


Episode 16: Three Shots from the Book Suppository

_We dive deep into the mayhem on this one. Guinea John had just returned from a trip to Dallas which led to some discussions on flying, the JFK assassination, and another impersonation of Sam Kinison. Bruce leads another movie tangent ranging from Cocktails to The Deer Hunter and we reminisce about some celebrity crackpots. The Orioles still suck, the Fabulous Thunderbirds are still Tuff Enuff and the Mad Pooper is still at large. Taking the Cynic Route is like a box of Chocolates, fat...


Episode 15: Blowfly, Don't Bother Soon-Yi

We welcome Beer Can Billy into the studio to share stories and opinions in that sweet, thick, terribly authentic Baltimore accent. We talked about gross people in public, Orioles baseball, and social media's impact on public opinion. We talked about the scandals of the day which were Rosanne Barr, NoFx singer's "off color" quote, and a wealthy televangelist who needs a 4th private jet. Bruce defends Woody Allen to the bitter end and Blowfly and An@l C^%t compete for best song titles. Even...


Episode 14: Robert De Niro gave my Koala the Clap

Scott Monahan drops by and spews his knowledge about. Guinea John reads about Incels. Bruce quotes "Last Tango in Paris" for us. We discuss Pro Wrestling, Joe Pesci, Martin Scorsese's career, The Lion King, Star Wars, Opie and Anthony. We talk about the worst movies we've ever seen and tell some awful, tasteless jokes. You guys are gonna love it! Download, Like, Share and Subscribe. GET ON THAT PATREON DAWG!


Episode 13: If You Build It, I will Come...

Lucky No. 13 leaves no stones unturned and no laughs unheard. We discuss the horrible movie "Overboard," reminisce about wrestling, Mike Tyson, and O.J. Simpson. Guinea John stereotypically brings up "My Cousin Vinny" and Bruce brings up a list of the greatest baseball movies of all time. We look into the cursed script of "Atook the Eskimo," share the best methods for hiding a fart, and for those of you hardcore enough to make it to the end, we sneak in another public poo story. Download,...


Episode 12: Snatchin' Watches and Cloggin' Toilets

Welcome to another fun-filled episode. Our guest, Polock Johnny shares some new poop stories. Guinea John rants about the Full House Hydra and MASN, once again. Bruce reminisces about his days working at the video store. We talk Easter, old school comedians, best tit shots of 80's film, Stephen King, and Redd Foxx stops in to share some of his best one-liners. Be Kind, Rewind.


Episode 11: Harding/Kerrigan: When Taking a Knee Meant Something

This one is a grower not a shower. We kick it off with some travel talk which evolves into air disasters and naturally, 9/11. Robo-bees, drones, Lawnmower Man, and words that sound racist all make appearances in Episode 11. Sam Kinison, Antibiotics, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, celebrity net worths, Bruce's deep desire to piss on animals, this episode has it all! Download, Like and Share, Taking the Cynic Route. Check out our Patreon for secret shows. Subscribe to any of our social...


Episode 10: Mr.Collins, Is That a Banana in Your Pocket?

We answer our first fan email from our first Patron! Sean asks about our opinion of Genesis, the plight of the banana and our other favorite podcasts. Guinea John asks if the news "spectrum" is purposefully dividing the people. We reminisce about our best prank calls, whether or not "Catcher in the Rye" creates hitmen, and for $5K Guinea John will give you a show to remember via Skype. Pony up that dough, Download, Like and Share.


Episode 9: Square Dancing in the Dark

In this episode we tap into the very wide shallow well of our intellects. We go from Cleveland talk, celebrity net worths, and then somehow to the origins of square dancing in gym class. We go over a list of the whitest white people things, touch on some Spielberg and Zemeckis films, and look at an obscene statue of St. Dominique in Australia. We reminisce about wind storms in the area, bitch about losing power, Guinea John declares his love for Billy Jack, and Bruce tells us why technology...


Episode 8: Let's Get Poo-litical

_We have our first in studio guest, Polock Johnny. We start off with some poo stories and then we get poolitical. We talk immigration, mass shootings, gun rights, and top it all off with the Mandella Effect. Do YOU remember the sweepstakes company Ed McMahon worked for? I bet you don't...Download, Like, and Share. _


Episode 7: Supersize My McDLT

Vacation over. Back to our cynical selves in episode 7. We discuss everything from an old racist encyclopedia to service animals. Bruce goes over a terrible"90's" list, we reminisce about past McDonald's menu items and Guinea John gives us his best Chris Rock. Download, Like, and Share.


Episode 6: Your Podcast is Gay

We go over a Podcast Pet Peeve list and then go into our very own pet peeves. Guinea John hates loud motorcycles, Bruce hates telemarketers, and Jeff hates protests. But we all love a good AC song. wink


Episode 5: Tales of the Pennsylvania Turdpike

We talk a lot about driving in this one. We look at a traffic pet peeves list, we discuss legalizing ganja, and reminisce about the terrible year, 2008. Buckle up because things get bumpy on the PA Turnpike.


Episode 4: Let's Put Another 463 Shrimp on the Barbie...

On this episode we take an Australian slang quiz, watch an exorcism video, we talk about competitive eating, we link 9/11 to the New England Patriots, and Guinea John questions historical assassinations. Go ahead, give it a listen...


Episode 3: Would the Real Uncle Jesse Please Stand Up?

On this episode we discuss how KISS is garbage, how Dukes of Hazard Uncle Jesse is superior to Full House Uncle Jesse, eating healthy and how we know nothing about potassium, the end of Kevin Spacey, and Pulp Fiction vs Reservoir Dogs.


Episode 2: Shot Through the Fart

We discuss the vulnerabilities of balls, Bruce's trip to the 3D movie marathon, Guinea John's deep seeded hatred for Bon Jovi, and Jeff's colonoscopy. Yum, who wants dessert?