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Taking the Cynic Route

Comedy Podcasts

Three average Joes from Baltimore, MD sharing humorous stories and opinions with a flare for the crude, low brow, and sometimes even dark. By reflecting on their own personal histories, pop culture potluck, conspiracy theories and other wacky topics, these guys will make you laugh and maybe even think. But mostly laugh. Become a Patron!

Three average Joes from Baltimore, MD sharing humorous stories and opinions with a flare for the crude, low brow, and sometimes even dark. By reflecting on their own personal histories, pop culture potluck, conspiracy theories and other wacky topics, these guys will make you laugh and maybe even think. But mostly laugh. Become a Patron!

Location:

United States

Description:

Three average Joes from Baltimore, MD sharing humorous stories and opinions with a flare for the crude, low brow, and sometimes even dark. By reflecting on their own personal histories, pop culture potluck, conspiracy theories and other wacky topics, these guys will make you laugh and maybe even think. But mostly laugh. Become a Patron!

Language:

English


Episodes

Episode 43: BREAKING NEWS: Cuomo F*CK$!

6/18/2020
_The world is falling apart and we are watching with a Great Lakes Porter in one hand and our pud in the other. Guinea Juan is live in studio once again and brings the heat. We cover all of society's problems, solve them, and then tell dick jokes for three hours. Just another day in the office. We tackle hard hitting issues like racism, white privilege, squirting, hand signals for driving...all of the important stuff. Honestly, at this point, we should be categorized as a self help podcast....

Duration:03:42:47

Episode 42: The Choad, the Chore, and the Chi-Chi-Chi-Chief-a

6/1/2020
The Guinea's back in TOWN! Jeff and Beer Can Billy welcome back John, in person, at the octagon. Bringin' the RUCKUS to that ASS. We cover all of life's nuance from buying a new vehicle, to near death experiences, to the best concerts we ever attended. BCB brought his bag of hate, Jeff puts on the tin foil hat for 9/11 talk, and Guinea Juan sings about his choad. We get a little poo-litical with Joe Biden's Breakfast Club gaff and then discuss waiting in between "nuts". Hours of nonsense to...

Duration:03:17:05

Episode 41: What Would You Do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar...in the Butt?

5/19/2020
_The gang is back for another raucous round of bull slingin' banter. Beer Can Billy throws caution to the wind and jumps back in the octagon while Guinea Juan joins us online. Bruce's whereabouts are still unknown for those keeping score at home. We discuss our new daily routines and lifting the lockdown here in Maryland. Some strong opinions of Larry "The Hog" Hogan are shared in between Soprano's quotes and Pro Wrestling memories. Some interesting Youtube videos ask the hard hitting...

Duration:03:41:10

Episode 40: A Guinea in the Garage is Worth Two Jackin' Off in the Bush

4/30/2020
Another quarantined episode in the book. Sad to see a milestone like number 40 being done streamed with one guy at the octagon, one guy fumbling with his mic from his basement 5 miles away, and one guy from his garage/cavern 3,000 miles away. But we made it work. In fact, we made up for the garbage sound quality with the quality of our content. Just kidding. No intro, just three hours of the route that is cynic. We gots deadlines to keeps. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE._

Duration:02:58:20

Episode 39: Driving Miss Handy: A Quarantine Extravaganza

4/23/2020
_The only thing the world needed more than a global pandemic was a four hour long episode of this hot garbage. But here it is, for your ear's delight. Jeff mans the octagon while Beer Can Billy and Guinea John connect via the internets. We go deep into the history of both the Guinea and BCB, where no stone is left unturned. We reminisce about old Howard Stern episodes, our past musical performances, and some classic sports memories. BCB gives us a quaran-tour of his basement and record...

Duration:04:05:02

Episode 38: Charlies Sheen's Coronavirus Covered Crisco Can

3/25/2020
Hellooo fellow degenerates. The Trio welcomes back the brilliant, the hilarious, the deranged Scotty Monahan. After reviewing a new beer we go straight into the poo-litical talk where Scotty drops some knowledge. The coronavirus is taking over the world but that isn't stopping Beer Can Billy from getting his drink on or Bruce from defending Woody Allen to the bitter end. We discuss Pro-wrestling, Opie and Anthony, and that Raven's cheerleader who banged her son's friend. Corey Feldman's...

Duration:02:32:07

Episode 37: Polack Johnny Created the Coronavirus in the Back of a Spencer's Gifts

3/9/2020
_The new trio welcomes Polack Johnny for some tales of the tail. We share fond(led) memories of Grandma's trailer. Beer Can Billy brings up some more past hijinks and heads our first live beer review. We discuss former Baltimore mayor and cartoon turtle, Catherine Pugh, Atlantic Star's "smash" hit "Secret Lovers," and still the baddest mofo on the planet, Mike Tyson. We reminisce about our first jobs, our first sexual experiences, and garbage celebrity "meet & greets." This one gets off the...

Duration:02:15:14

Episode 36: Harvey Weinstein Didn't Kill Himself...Yet

2/25/2020
Heeeeeere's Billy. Beer Can Billy to be exact. We trade one guinea for another. After a long hiatus the gang is back with more nonsense than ever. The Beer Can tells about past pranks and recent vacations. He have a new Cottonelle Nad-vertisement to dissect, Harvey Weinstein's genitals are nowhere to be found, and Epstein still didn't kill himself. Donald Trump does a lap at Daytona, Bruce reads Yelp! reviews of the Westboro Baptist Church, and Joe Piscopo has always sucked. You get what you...

Duration:02:14:56

Episode 35: The Guinea John Special Ed-ition

9/25/2019
A very special episode of TTCR as we welcome back Guinea Juan after a brief sojourn overseas. The man himself steals the show with endless rants about airports and traveling, The Catcher in the Rye and Taxi Driver (again), sexy cousins and another visit from the ghost of Sam Kinison -- not to mention a major league, game-changing bombshell. So strap yourself in for some inappropriate laughs and some inappropriate touches, right here on Episode 35 of TAKING THE CYNIC ROUTE.

Duration:02:14:15

Episode 34: Beer Can Billy goes to Warshington

9/12/2019
_Don't call it a comeback! It's been too long. Beer Can Billy joined the trio for this one a few weeks back and pushed the boundaries of offense. We reminisce about our summer happenings. BCB saw Billy Joel at Camden Yards, drove on the PA turnpike, took a ride on the Auto Train, and visited both the Flight 93 museum and the infamous Robert Kraft Rub-N-Tug parlor. Guinea John made several trips across the globe. From Hawaii to Italy, from Baltimore to Washington, the travelin' Sicilian has...

Duration:02:14:42

Episode 33: Ernest Goes to Area 51; A Coen Brothers Film

7/18/2019
Hey, Vern! Grab some Eggs Erroneous and listen to episode 33 of TTCR. Our good friend and master of random, useless knowledge, Scott drops by the studio. A whole lotta movie talk in this one. We skim over the filmographies of cinema legends like Jim Varney, Dabney Coleman and Rip Torn. We discover every job Sean Connery has ever had revolved around getting laid. We also discover the Coen brothers are really good at making movies. Our new segment "Conspiracy Killers" kicks off with a...

Duration:02:00:53

Episode 32: Deep Impact: The Secret Morgan Freeman Sex Scene

7/1/2019
The Juice is loose this Summer on Episode 32 of TTCR. The trio chats up current events, locally and globally. Guinea John shares his recent agony of buying a new car. We check out O.J. Simpson's new Twitter account. The conversation turns a little poo-litical before we push our new merch page, as well as the limits of racially sensitive material. We look up some random Urban Dictionary terms, talk favorite natural disaster movies and, as always, end up talking about 9/11 and the CIA's...

Duration:02:11:54

Episode 31: Ayn Rand is the Fountainhead of Impotence

6/13/2019
We got a dirty one for thirty one! The trio tackles all the juicy topics of early Summer '19. Guinea John kicks it off with an Italian cantata for the ages. We get politi-cooh while talking about the origins of the left and right wings. Guinea John defends Ayn Rand to the bitter end. A Canadian weekend away, John Waters on acid and a new piece of fan mail all make up the madness that is TTCR Episode 31. John Stamos eats yogurt, Kate Upton eats a burger, and Lyle Alzado eats steroids....

Duration:02:07:51

Episode 30: "Polack" Johnny and the Tale of the Devil's Onion Ring

5/26/2019
_TTCR hits another milestone as episode 30 comes out swinging. We are talking haymakers left and right. Polack Johnny is back in the saddle as the boys dish about everything from deep throating soft serve to hackin' off a hemy while spread wide like a bloomin' onion. If you've ever eaten finger blasters while at the pee trough, episode 30 is the one for you! DOWNLOAD IT TODAY. LISTEN TO IT WHENEVER. _

Duration:02:05:07

Episode 29: Beer Can Billy is Gaye for Fried Chicken

5/19/2019
It's been too long! Episode 29 of TTCR coming at ya with a vengeance. Special guest "Beer Can" Billy shares some quality stories. From accidental childhood racism to jerking off while driving, we cover all angles. We surprise Guinea John with Chris Farley's death photo and reminisce about "Faces of Death." So many random topics and sound effects, there's too much to list. Grab a snack, sit back, and listen to those sweet, sweet Baltimore accents. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.

Duration:02:07:49

Episode 28: I'll take 'Things You Would Defecate On' for a $1000, Alex.

4/29/2019
Spring has sprung like Guinea John out of his seat when the drugs show up. Episode 28 starts off with some O's baseball talk and quickly enters the realm of farts and queefs. We dissect some more CUMmercials and pretend to know things about religion. The ghost of Sam Kinison makes his frequent appearance, we contemplate things we would crap on for $1k, and determine no one truly knows anything about the afterlife. "Thou shalt not thrust thy Oozinator toward thy neighbor." DOWNLOAD, LIKE,...

Duration:01:48:12

Episode 27: Grab a Sheet of Brawny to Clean Up Your Skittles

4/17/2019
_Welcome to the 27 club! The only things needed for entry are an abundance of drugs or a shotgun...or both. In this 27th episode of TTCR we dissect multiple NADverstisements to find the sexual innuendos. We reminisce about times we got in trouble in school. We discuss weird celebrity deaths, our grandparent's generations and their casual racism, and random movie body counts. The ghost of Sammy Kinison stops by again, again and Guinea John hits every tree in the forest. Listen up and you...

Duration:02:05:56

Episode 26: The Yellow Badge of Courage

3/22/2019
You're gonna need your passport and your shots for this one. Episode 26 dives into the wet and the wild. From R. Kelly human trafficking from on stage in Ethiopia to Michael Jackson's monkey love. Guinea John is filling Solo cups with golden showers while Bruce is still crapping in the dark. You'll even learn which stall to choose in a public bathroom. So get your Jergens and your tissues ready for a fappin' good time. DOWNLOAD, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.

Duration:01:40:25

Episode 25: The B & E Railroad to Chocolate Town

3/11/2019
We welcome back "Beer Can" Billy to the studio where everyone received an adult dose. From renting VHS porn to strippers shooting ping pong balls, this one pulls no punches. Probably the funnest and funniest to date, episode 25 explores everything. First time drunk stories, our adolescent lives of crime, R. Kelly bangin' kids again, Robert Kraft's handies, Obama's white half...this one has a little something for everyone. Crank up the perverted laughs for that long road trip and enjoy the...

Duration:02:10:18

Episode 24: Stuff That Whopper in Your King Box

2/24/2019
Celebrating one year of debauchery and douche powder. The gang at TTCR thanks our listeners for sticking with us, one offensive episode at a time. Not to be out done by its older siblings, episode 24 does not disappoint. We bounce from NFL conspiracies to Ted Bundy's resurgence. We talk blackface in pop culture, Burger King's subliminal messaging, and gross ingredients in your beauty products, just to scratch the tip of the racial iceberg. Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and...

Duration:01:44:14