Teen Creeps

"Dirt Cheap" is a new podcast from Neon Hum Media that digs deep into the dollar bins of used bookstores and your grandmother’s storage unit in search of pulp, sass and questionable grammar. Guided by hosts, Amanda Meadows and Geoffrey Golden, each season will explore a forgotten and discarded pulp novel culled from the dust-bin of literary history, reenacting it’s pages through narration and sound design—stopping and starting to respond and bring its oddity and hilarity occasionally into...

This week Kelly and Katai read CALL WAITING by R.L. Stine. They discuss yet more fakeout cliffhangers, picking up extra shifts at the Sizzler, the dangers of making your main character an emotionally abusive girlfriend, and are absolutely furious to discover that prankster R.L. Stine is at it again with the breakfast foods. THIS EPISODE SPONSORED BY SLEEP CYCLE Improve your sleep, and get access to SleepCycle premium for 7 days absolutely free by visiting...

VOTE! Verify that you're registered and make a plan to vote on or before November 3rd 2020. Find voting resources here: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/vote This week Kelly and Katai read THE BODY by Carol Ellis. They talk Portrait of a Lady style shipping, speaking one language and that language being the prose of Jane Eyre, relating with people's physical disabilities because you're new in town, and daddy dom Victorian hikers. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes,...

VOTE! Verify that you're registered and make a plan to vote on or before November 3rd 2020. Find voting resources here: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/vote This week Kelly and Katai read THE CRUEL PRINCE by Holly Black, about a human girl navigating her way through a ruthless kingdom of faeries. They discuss the classic hot evil boy boning out for the protagonist trope, nuanced faerie murder dads, being turned against your own culture, fantasy food, and the continuing evolution of their...

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by friend of the pod Nick Wiger (Doughboys, How Did This Get Played, Earth to Ned) to discuss BROG THE STOOP by Joe Boyle. They talk impenetrable fantasy vocabulary, super hot mantis elves, their favorite character Planimal, and Wiger helps Kelly and Katai reverse their previous stance on genocide (they are now against it). Rock 'N Flowers: https://youtu.be/EDtBQjmbdHM SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and...

This week Kelly and Katai read CHILDREN OF BLOOD AND BONE by Tomi Adeyemi. They discuss magic kingdoms, going for the kill shot, who they do and do not ship, getting whiplash from character flip-flops, and give some constructive criticism on how to be an evil despot. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN...

In the post-post-post-apocalyptic future, a young woman is exiled from the small religious enclave of Haven for a crime she did not commit. Lurking in the surreal horror of the wilds are beasts and fiends, but these monsters illuminate her past, her relationships, and the circumstances surrounding her exile. This is her audio diary. Subscribe to exile: https://shows.acast.com/exile NOTE: This podcast is best enjoyed using headphones or earbuds. Written, performed, mixed, and produced by...

This week Kelly and Katai read OF TWO MINDS by Carol Matas and Perry Nodelman. They discuss purple people vs yellow people, what kind of sick fucked up mind could imagine puppies in different colors, the morality of sending people into the gray, how very smelly trolls are, and generally agree that this book is for babies. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN...

It's Fantasy month here at Teen Creeps and Kelly and Katai are kicking it off with Susan Price's ELFGIFT. They talk Anglo-Saxon names, non-formulaic plotting, battle-women, how the 9th century sucked for absolutely everyone, and a face so beautiful it's like you've been slapped, but somehow neglect to talk about what a weird name Elfgift is. CW: mention of rape. Is this necessary? There's no description of it. I dunno. Kinda losing track of the line between what needs a cw and what doesn't....

This week Kelly and Katai get screamed at by Sinclair Smith's THE BOY NEXT DOOR. They talk attic boys, healthy sodas, ALL CAPS, pranks as a gateway drug, breaking someone's leg to keep them from getting murdered, and too many fake-outs. THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month! Go to mintmobile.com/teencreeps. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN...

This week Kelly and Katai find themselves along for the ride on another quality anti-bullying entry in the Point Horror label, THE TRAIN by Diane Hoh. They talk train phobias, taking notes and doing actual pre-show research for once, fancy dress high school parties, the classic "I'm in high school drama and can therefore do extremely realistic corpse makeup," and feeling actual empathy and sadness for a boy named Frog. THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15...

This week Kelly and Katai read NIGHT SCHOOL by Caroline B. Cooney. They talk well-drawn characters, books with a capital 'M' Message, spatially confusing action, and selling your soul to disembodied teachers tryna tell everyone who your crush is. THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month! Go to mintmobile.com/teencreeps. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE MUMMY by Barbara Steiner. They talk staging an intervention for your friend who wants to fuck a mummy, whether or not it's cultural appropriation if you're the literal reincarnation of an Egyptian princess, another busybee villain, and plump bitch coworkers. THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month! Go to mintmobile.com/teencreeps. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and...

This week Kelly and Katai read SILENT STALKER by Richie Tankersley Cusick. They discuss people saying things at each other, bad journalism dads, unforgivable jester antics, twins on twins on twins, running running running, and one of the worst WHAT? endings we've had yet. Listen! THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month! Go to mintmobile.com/teencreeps. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and...

This week Kelly and Katai read DEMON by Samantha Lee. (First off, do not read this book. It is Problematic with a capital P and its culture crimes outweigh its strengths.) They discuss why British authors need an American editor, nebulous Indigenous "magic" as a plot device, authorial fat shaming, why this book should have taken place in the 1950s, and of course, the name MIGUEL COYOTE. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and...

This week Kelly and Katai read Helen Oyeyemi's WHITE IS FOR WITCHING, a British Gothic ghost story in the vein of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. They talk more boy-girl twin weirdness, poetic language, continually fail to pronounce soucouyant correctly, possessive houses, and talk about kids who call their mother by their first name: why? SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE DEAD GAME by A. Bates. It's the thrilling (not thrilling) story of three friends who decide to make a Kill List (Prank List) to give payback to the fakers (people they don't like) in their school. They discuss unreliable narrators, the difficulty in adapting a mafia-type game to play pranks, whether or not charcoal drawings are enough to convict someone of shoplifting, and give kudos to A. Bates for making an Asian character the Final Girl. SUBSCRIBE TO...

PARTY SUMMER! This week Kelly and Katai read R.L. Stine's Fear Street Super Chiller: PARTY SUMMER! And it's about as much of a party as 2020 is. They talk nonsensical character descriptions, PARTY SUMMER, yet another weird implied incestual relationship, PARTY SUMMER, the depressing lack of Fear lore, and PARTY SUMMER. Listen! Because it's gonna be PARTY SUMMER! THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month! Go to mintmobile.com/teencreeps. SUBSCRIBE TO...

It was a night to never forget to remember, Teen Creeps "Safer At Home" Prom 2020! Experience Kelly and Katai's original masterpiece, PROM DANCE, recorded live via Twitch, with Oscar-worthy performances from TC favorites Patrick Ehlers, Ryan Mogge, Oscar Montoya, and Omar Najam. Drawing from our now embarrassingly extensive expertise on the genre, we crafted an original tale of horror and boredom. It's got everything you could want in a teen creeps story: unforgivably problematic red...

Kelly and Katai read the very strange SISTER DEAREST by D.E. Athkins. It's full of action packed things like implied incest, T-Bird antics, implied incest, papier-mache shoes, implied incest, crazy dreams, implied incest, inconsistent character behavior, implied incest, and also implied incest. THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY MINT MOBILE! Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month! Go to mintmobile.com/teencreeps. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get bonus episodes, merch, and...