Far away and 40 books ago, we read Marked, the first book in the House of Night Series by mother-daughter duo Kristen & P.C. Cast. It was the second book we read for the podcast and the first book we threw across a room (that's not an exaggeration).
Today, we've decided to return to the House of Night for a second helping of outrageous caricatures of teenagers trapped within a love rhombus - just in time for the Halloween season! This time, our main protagonist has the option of THREE...
Our Patron Veronica chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.
We've got a real intro now! Let us know what you think.
Things get serious on TBC this week. This episode is not terribly funny and we've got some content warnings for you: eating disorders (anorexia), exercise disorders, alcohol, weapons, violence, & sexual assault/rape.
Luckiest Girl Alive tries to expose the nuance and neurosis of growing up as a woman...
This book feels like the author created a massive dartboard where each section was a completely random idea or topic, put on a blindfold, threw darts, and chose what she would put in the book based on where those darts landed.
If any of you are or know someone who is an expert on Old Norse, Old English, or Middle English, Paris wants to talk to you because she has some linguistic bones to pick with this book.
This is a haphazard tale of time travel, chefs, vikings, angels, vampires,...
This time, we read an X-Files novel sanctioned by Chris Carter and it was just as pulpy as we expected. If you miss Mulder, Scully, and their crazy case files, you should check out this episode. Topics include nanotechnology, a very particular form of animal testing, and a special segment about Paris's dreams!
Since this book takes place 200 years in the past, we figured we needed some experts on old stuff! D & Ken from Antiques Freaks join us this week to read Johnny Tremain.
D helps us understand silversmithing while Ken defends his doctoral thesis on Johnny's homosexuality. Throughout it all, Paris is inebriated and at the limits of functionality; Chris wishes this episode ended 30 minutes ago.
Cops that are dogs and dogs that are cops co-star in this sex-less Christian romance with an unreasonably long title! This story tries to cash in on the cross section of people who are Christian, fetishize men in uniform, and are really into dogs.
Ah, yes - remember being in love so fiercely that you disobeyed your parents, ran naked through the forest all evening, worshiped nature gods, and contacted the multiverse when you were SIX YEARS OLD? No? Yeah...probably not.
Rich Shapero takes us on another drug fueled romp through the wilds of Alaska in this successor to Wild Animus, except this time the main characters are two six year old children.
While this tale is pretty weird and there are major problems with the children's...
If you're tired of plots and characters, this episode was made just for you! This time we read a book of poetry loosely held together by western gender norms, redundancy, and poor word choices. Paris reveals her theory about the hidden message behind these poems that will blow the lid off of everything you ever thought was true about Woman Worship by Dean Jean-Pierre! Luckily, Chris and Paris are finally rescued by the spirit of Pablo Neruda after suffering through a heat index of 104 to...
Have you ever really liked a band? Have you ever liked a band so much that you thought you found evidence in their lyrics that their frontman had lived previous lives and a demon helped you figure it out? Well hey, so did this author!
This book IS arguably a biography of Trent Reznor and sort of Nine Inch Nails, but is also an argument about the validity of past lives and the existence of demons on other planes who tell you stories via swinging rocks.
Topics in this episode include Nine...
Burning witches, evil dads and uncles, more foreshadowing than one could ever need, the most obviously evil necklace of all time, and - of course - unrequited love all rear their heads in this one!
Paris has been binging the Goosebuds podcast and was inspired to get spooky for Episode 33! Chris and Paris return to childhood to read the first installment in the Fear Street Saga series that explains how and why Fear Street came to be the supernatural hot spot we all remember fondly from R.L....
Can we interest you in some crawfish? Perhaps other types of seafood? Some jazz? How about some gay erotica? If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you'll love this 30 page short story that masquerades as a book!
Thanks (?) to D from Antiques Freaks for alerting us to the existence of this...thing.
Disclaimer: We're not usually SFW, but this episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual activity so it's a bit more over-the-top than usual even for Terrible Book Club.
This time we read a short, double feature book with two fantasy/sci-fi novellas that were packaged together for seemingly no apparent reason:
Are they together because Howie Bentley really loved Kuttner and wanted to publish his stories again posthumously? Is it because they both have humanoid cat men? We'll probably never know.
Check out our Instagram for images of the covers on these things.
Thanks to our friends Noah & Hillary for giving us this book to read for this episode.
In this in-between books episode, it's game time!
Chris read a guide/miniature self-help book called Chakra Crystals by Kate Tomas about meditation and magical rocks and Paris tries to guess what each crystal is supposed to mean and what chakras are. We learn that crystals are alive and can be enslaved to your needs - neat!
Meanwhile, Paris has curated a game of Two Truths & A Lie with 6 categories of books where Chris must guess which titles and summaries are real and which ones Paris...
This time on Terrible Book Club, we read a book that wasn't truly terrible! Wow! It happened!
We also have special guest Laura Filippi on to educate us about Florida, alligator farms, and alligator wrestling!
Paris & Chris talk about their first piece of negative fan mail!
Ultimately, Swamplandia! has some issues, but overall it was not painful to read, the characters speak like genuine human beings, and the story was intriguing and different! Issues discussed include how likely it would...
Episode 28 is all about ghosts, mediums, and how Long Island seems to be some kind of breeding ground for psychics. If you're a skeptic of supernatural phenomenon or have ever wondered about the John Edwards and Sylvia Browns of the world, this episode is for you.
Oh and, uh, Paris & Chris just want you to know that you have a great need for other people to like and admire you and even though you have a tendency to be critical of yourself, you have a great deal of unused capacity which you...
Our Patron Dari chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to browse our reward structure and consider donating.
Dragon Prince is a basic fantasy novel with medieval internet on light beams, dragon mating details, minor dragon ecology, and mostly decent dialogue. The book is divided into two sections and the latter section is where things take a turn for the terrible. This book does have a rape scene and we discuss it briefly, so be aware of that. If you haven't...
You Suck! was given to Paris as a Secret Santa gift (thanks, Coty!) The book has some issues, but ultimately it's a crass and somewhat amusing parody of the ever popular vampire romance novel. Listen to this one if you want to hear us talk about the book for 45 minutes and then ramble on about various other things for another 30 (we really went off topic on this one - eh, it was late and we were a bit tired).
Birds. Watches. Tits. These are things that old men from the 1800s love to talk about. Or, at least famous ornithologist John James Audubon liked to talk about, according to author John Gregory Brown? If you're into historical "fiction" inspired by some dude reading a diary entry that must have insinuated a love of boob sucking, then this book is for you, you weirdo.
Episode 24 tackles the anti-vaccination phenomenon. Melanie's Marvelous Measles was written by an anti-vaxxer author so parents could easily indoctrinate their children and get them severely ill, injured, or killed with warped ideas based on a misinterpretation of data and science!
Topics include outrage, trying to wrap our minds around anti-vax logic, and a description of the "illustrations" in this thing. We don't really want to call the work a "book" or the images "illustrations" since...
For November, we read a self-help book to help us become smart hos!
G.L. Lambert has created the ultimate guide to being a sociopathic fraud winner! Read his book and get your rent paid by stalking wealthy men and lying constantly!
**NSFW - do not listen to this at work or around people under 18 because there's a lot of swearing and sexual content**