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Terrible Book Club

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Join Chris & Paris every other Tuesday to discover if you really can judge a book by its hideous cover, bad title, or weird synopsis. Support TBC on Patreon

Join Chris & Paris every other Tuesday to discover if you really can judge a book by its hideous cover, bad title, or weird synopsis. Support TBC on Patreon

Location:

United States

Description:

Join Chris & Paris every other Tuesday to discover if you really can judge a book by its hideous cover, bad title, or weird synopsis. Support TBC on Patreon

Language:

English


Episodes

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A.N. Roquelaure (a.k.a Anne Rice) - Episode 123

10/25/2021
TBC listener Ann reached out to us on Twitter earlier this year about this series and we thought a dark take on a common fairytale might be good for this spooky time of year. So, on a dark, chilly eve, we stumbled into a castle full of Anne Rice's kinks. It, uh, did not go well. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussion of: BDSM, enslavement, pedophilia/ephebophilia, rape, & sexual torture.

Duration:01:24:51

Power Mage by Hondo Jinx *Patron’s Choice* - Episode 122

10/12/2021
Another Patron's Choice rears its head! We read Power Mage by Hondo Jinx at the request of our patron Austin for this week's episode. He implored us to, "exorcise this demon ... I just need someone, anyone, to explain the scene where someone titfucks a corona bottle and then eats it.” If you like your women without consent or agency, have we got an entire genre for you! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussion of: guns, harems, sex, and...

Duration:02:26:07

Rush Revere & the Brave Pilgrims by Rush Limbaugh *Patron's Choice* - Episode 121

9/28/2021
Just in time for fall in New England, our Patron Martin requested that we read Rush Revere & the Brave Pilgrims by Rush Limbaugh. Martin asks that you donate what you can to an LGBTQIA+ organization near you in memory of Rush Limbaugh’s lifelong campaign of hate. Alternatively, participate in mutual aid in your area! If you're not sure where to donate or what the heck mutual aid is, check out these links: Black AIDS InstituteRAINNAdopt-A-Native-ElderNational Bail Fund NetworkAtlanta Trans...

Duration:02:14:49

Last and First Idol by Gengen Kusano (Translated by Andrew Cunningham) *Patron's Choice* - Episode 120

9/14/2021
For this week's Patron's Choice episode, we read Last and First Idol by Gengen Kusano for our anonymous patron. We have not been this baffled since Episode 50's The Eclipse of Darkness: Unveiling the Unseen World, which was also an anonymous recommendation. We now live in fear of the next anonymous recommendation we receive. Still, we thank you, unknown patron! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussions of: the afterlife, apocalyptic...

Duration:01:59:36

The Haunted Jarvee from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks* - Episode 119

8/31/2021
It's another episode of Terrible Antique Book Freaks! D and Ken from Antiques Freaks board The Haunted Jarvee with us for an, uh, invigorating read at sea. We thought that we had completed all stories in the Carnacki the Ghost Finder collection, but alas - several more stories were found. We use Eye of Argon rules to read the entirety of The Haunted Jarvee complete with soundscapes by Chris. Have your Carnacki bingo cards at the ready! Content Warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus:...

Duration:01:14:46

Beach Read by Emily Henry - Episode 118

8/17/2021
Come along with us to Terrible Book Beach! We took a look at the New York Times Bestsellers List earlier this summer and settled on Beach Read as both seasonally topical and likely to be terrible. We found some improvements over most romances we've read but no amount of realistic dialogue and safe sex could make us ignore the mountain of coincidences and the happily ever after ending. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion of:...

Duration:01:30:43

Hidden Sins by Selena Montgomery (a.k.a Stacey Abrams) - Episode 117

8/3/2021
We read Hidden Sins this week because we figured that there’s gotta’ be a catch to Stacey Abrams. She can’t be perfect, right? Her political career is intense and noteworthy, but surely her romance novels are terrible! If you aren't familiar with Ms. Abrams, she is a former Georgia state house rep and current voting rights activist largely credited with registering black voters in Georgia to swing that state in the 2020 presidential election. Plus, we’ve read a lot of books by right-wing...

Duration:01:08:13

Callirhoe by Chariton (Translated by Rosanna Omitowoju) *Special Guest Dr. Jeremy Swist* - Episode 116

7/20/2021
Callirhoe is considered to be the earliest surviving written romance in Western history and it is said to have popularized a lot of the common tropes of the genre that now haunt us mercilessly. However, since neither of us know much about ancient Greek fiction, Dr. Jeremy Swist is here today as our Charon to guide us down this Stygian river of ancient romance! Dr. Swist is also known as the Metal Classicist. He studies classical reception in heavy metal music and teaches Latin and Greek...

Duration:01:32:28

Episode 115 - Tender Wings of Desire: A Colonel Sanders Novella by Catherine Kovach for KFC/Yum! Brands

7/6/2021
It's 2017. Mother's Day is coming up. You need to sell more fried chicken than ever before. You are graced with sudden divine inspiration: "What if...what if I hire a ghost writer to create a novella where Colonel Sanders is the sexy love interest and sell it with the buckets of chicken!?" Unbelievably, this is indeed the world we live in - Yum! Brands really did this for KFC in 2017. Even more unfathomably, this ghost written corporate marketing scheme of a book was just about as...

Duration:00:44:51

Episode 114 - Leon & Chris by Alex Donahue

6/22/2021
Author Alex Donahue asked us to read his children's book about two young boys living on Prince Edward Island during the tail end of the Great Depression and the beginning of World War II. Alex hoped we'd be surprised by his book and, well, we certainly were in some ways. Leon & Chris has a lovely cover and a solid core story that handles serious topics with a genuinely sweet, childlike tone. However, its potential is diminished by some tedious sections and mechanical writing errors. This...

Duration:01:14:46

Episode 113 - Midnight Sun (Twilight Saga: Book #5) by Stephanie Meyer

6/8/2021
The inevitable has happened: we heeded the cries of friends and listeners and read a book from Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. Special thanks to Twitter user @laughterbynight for hooking us up with a copy! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode contains discussion of blood, injury, death, stalking/abusive relationships, and vampires.

Duration:01:50:17

Episode 112 - You're Going to Mars! by Rob Dircks *Patron's Choice*

5/25/2021
Our Patron Lucek requested that we read You're Going to Mars! for an extra special birthday edition of a patron's choice episode. Happy birthday, Lucek! As for the book, well - it's a McDonald's chicken sandwich. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode discusses death, slavery, space, and stabbing. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book (or other written ephemera), head over to our Patreon and select the $10/month tier to fast-track your...

Duration:01:35:44

Episode 111 - Die Hamletmachine by Heiner Müller (Translated by Dennis Redmond) with Special Guest Mary Parker *Patron’s Choice*

5/11/2021
Our Patron Miri requested that we read the legendary German post-modernist play, Die Hamletmachine and also watch a film adaptation of it. You can watch us react in real-time to the film version on our Patreon. Due to the depths of madness that this piece took us to and the fact that neither of us are thespians, we invited local Boston theater director, actor, and all-around hilarious and glorious human Mary Parker on the show today to guide us through Hamletmachine! You can hear day-time...

Duration:00:58:09

Episode 110 - The 1776 Report by 24 People and Assorted Aides Appointed by the Trump Administration

4/27/2021
We read The 1776 Report - you know, that weird American history summary that the Trump Administration released on MLK Jr. Day. What could possibly go wrong when 24 people have two months to cram hundreds of years of American history into 20 pages? Content Warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: political discussion & racism. It is impossible to discuss this report without also discussing politics and racism, so if you do not want to engage with these topics at the moment, please...

Duration:02:02:21

Episode 109 - A 'Small' Centaur Adventure by N. Wilson *Patron’s Choice*

4/13/2021
You are about to enter the Courtroom of Judge Meatball Sub and Judge Veggie Delight with Egg. The authors are real. The stories are not. The rulings are not exactly final. This is TBC Porn Court. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, today we're reviewing erotica and that will include discussions of centaur-and-human sex and small penis humiliation. Our patron Dari requested that we read this. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our...

Duration:00:43:29

Episode 108 - Reaper’s Creek by Onision (a.k.a. James Jackson, Gregory James Daniel)

3/30/2021
We have finally heeded the call of numerous listeners and read one of Onision's books. This week, we discuss his third book from 2018, Reaper's Creek. Topline takeaways: (1) this work needs extensive plot re-development and technical editing not just from the author himself, but from hired professionals and (2) the author needs to deal more maturely with nuanced, serious topics like child abuse, murder, and sexual assault. Content Warnings: Alien abduction, child abuse, gore, negative...

Duration:01:40:33

Episode 107 - Sandalphon, Harmony (Book #12) & Archangel Breath-Tap (Book #19) from the Archangelology Book Series: If You Call Them They Will Come by Kim Caldwell

3/16/2021
In the first two-book episode of TBC, Archangel Parisael and Archangel Christophatron sing to the angels and try the breath-tap method. Amidst the angels, crystal caves, and dolphins, we discover how well-intentioned advice can be ruined by poor organization and associations with dubious claims/scams.

Duration:01:37:57

Episode 106 - Feeding the Dragon: Inside the Trillion Dollar Dilemma Facing Hollywood, the NBA, and American Business by Chris Fenton *Patron's Choice*

3/2/2021
Chris Fenton promises a "deeply revealing memoir" with Feeding the Dragon, but is it actually just a glossy, dimensionless jerk-off session with a shoddy Chinese backdrop instead? You decide. Article we referenced during this episode: Debunking Hollywood Agent: Is Chris Fenton ‘Feeding the Dragon’ or Feeding His Ego? by Andrew Rossow, Esq. Content Warnings: sinophobia, extremely brief mentions of drug use and suicide We read this book at the request of our Patron Lynn as part of their...

Duration:01:22:29

Episode 105 - The Book Of Adonitology: The Sacred Pentadon of the Adonitology Religion by King Adonis

2/16/2021
We review a religious text this week! Lured in by the promise of a faith focused on big-assed women and body positivity, we find ourselves deceived by a man who uses women as a prop to try to convince readers to worship him. The Book of Adonitology's summary tells us that it is, "one of the most influential books in the history of literature, recognized as one of the greatest literary master pieces of its time." Its Best Sellers Ranking of 1,551,929 says otherwise - that's an approximate...

Duration:01:27:12

Episode 104 - Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

2/2/2021
Like a plane soaring to cruising altitude in calm, sunny weather, Ninth House really set itself up for success in the first 70% of the book. It had lifelike characters, believable dialogue and internal monologues, settings based on the real world, and even a mostly coherent magic system! However, our happy little plane began to lose altitude at a staggering rate in the latter 30% of the book, culminating in a stuttered, turbulent crash on the tarmac. There were no casualties, but some were...

Duration:01:33:09