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Episode 32: Crawfish, Baby!! by Duncan More

Can we interest you in some crawfish? Perhaps other types of seafood? Some jazz? How about some gay erotica? If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you'll love this 30 page short story that masquerades as a book! Thanks (?) to D from Antiques Freaks for alerting us to the existence of this...thing. Disclaimer: We're not usually SFW, but this episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual activity so it's a bit more over-the-top than usual even for Terrible Book Club.


Episode 31 - Lands of the Earthquake by Henry Kuttner & Under A Dim Blue Sun by Howie K. Bentley

This time we read a short, double feature book with two fantasy/sci-fi novellas that were packaged together for seemingly no apparent reason: Are they together because Howie Bentley really loved Kuttner and wanted to publish his stories again posthumously? Is it because they both have humanoid cat men? We'll probably never know. Check out our Instagram for images of the covers on these things. Thanks to our friends Noah & Hillary for giving us this book to read for this episode.


Minisode 30 - Two Truths, A Lie, & Magic Rocks (...Also With Lies)

In this in-between books episode, it's game time! Chris read a guide/miniature self-help book called Chakra Crystals by Kate Tomas about meditation and magical rocks and Paris tries to guess what each crystal is supposed to mean and what chakras are. We learn that crystals are alive and can be enslaved to your needs - neat! Meanwhile, Paris has curated a game of Two Truths & A Lie with 6 categories of books where Chris must guess which titles and summaries are real and which ones Paris...


Episode 29: Swamplandia! by Karen Russell *Special Guest Laura Filippi*

This time on Terrible Book Club, we read a book that wasn't truly terrible! Wow! It happened! We also have special guest Laura Fillipi on to educate us about Florida, alligator farms, and alligator wrestling! Paris & Chris talk about their first piece of negative fan mail! Ultimately, Swamplandia! has some issues, but overall it was not painful to read, the characters speak like genuine human beings, and the story was intriguing and different! Issues discussed include how likely it...


Episode 28: Crossing Over - The Stories Behind the Stories by John Edward

Episode 28 is all about ghosts, mediums, and how Long Island seems to be some kind of breeding ground for psychics. If you're a skeptic of supernatural phenomenon or have ever wondered about the John Edwards and Sylvia Browns of the world, this episode is for you. Oh and, uh, Paris & Chris just want you to know that you have a great need for other people to like and admire you and even though you have a tendency to be critical of yourself, you have a great deal of unused capacity which...


Episode 27: Dragon Prince by Melanie Rawn *Patron Selection*

Our Patron Dari chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to browse our reward structure and consider donating. Dragon Prince is a basic fantasy novel with medieval internet on light beams, dragon mating details, minor dragon ecology, and mostly decent dialogue. The book is divided into two sections and the latter section is where things take a turn for the terrible. This book does have a rape scene and we discuss it briefly, so be aware of that. If you...


Episode 26: You Suck! by Christopher Moore

You Suck! was given to Paris as a Secret Santa gift (thanks, Coty!) The book has some issues, but ultimately it's a crass and somewhat amusing parody of the ever popular vampire romance novel. Listen to this one if you want to hear us talk about the book for 45 minutes and then ramble on about various other things for another 30 (we really went off topic on this one - eh, it was late and we were a bit tired).


Episode 25: Audubon's Watch by John Gregory Brown

Birds. Watches. Tits. These are things that old men from the 1800s love to talk about. Or, at least famous ornithologist John James Audubon liked to talk about, according to author John Gregory Brown? If you're into historical "fiction" inspired by some dude reading a diary entry that must have insinuated a love of boob sucking, then this book is for you, you weirdo. BIRDS.


Episode 24: Melanie's Marvelous Measles by Stephanie Messenger

Episode 24 tackles the anti-vaccination phenomenon. Melanie's Marvelous Measles was written by an anti-vaxxer author so parents could easily indoctrinate their children and get them severely ill, injured, or killed with warped ideas based on a misinterpretation of data and science! Topics include outrage, trying to wrap our mind's around anti-vax logic, and a description of the "illustrations" in this thing. We don't really want to call the work a "book" or the images "illustrations"...


Episode 23: Ho Tactics - How to Mindf*ck a Man into Spending, Spoiling, & Sponsoring by G.L. Lambert

For November, we read a self-help book to help us become smart hos! G.L. Lambert has created the ultimate guide to being a sociopathic fraud winner! Read his book and get your rent paid by stalking wealthy men and lying constantly! **NSFW - do not listen to this at work or around people under 18 because there's a lot of swearing and sexual content**


Episode 22: Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind

Our first sequel. Sexy nuns. Demon dicks. Naked horseback riding. All this and more can be found in Terry Goodkind's Stone of Tears, the second book in the Sword of Truth series. In Episode 22 of the Terrible Book Club, Paris and Chris return to the Midlands with a special guest! TJ was the one who recommended we read this series in the first place, so we figured we should have him along to explain himself. We recommend that you listen to Episode 3 that deals with the first book in the...


Episode 21 - Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia

Episode 21 is brought to you by vampires, pistols, werewolves, sub-machine guns, boobs, automatic rifles, orcs, elves in trailer parks, RPGs, hulking Liefeld drawings come to life, more guns, and names based on guns. Hope you like guns and locally sourced vampire feed! Monster Hunter International takes Men in Black to a ... different level. Technical note: Paris sounds weirdly muffled in this one. We think it's because this was the first day she set up her home recording stuff since...


Episode 14 - Moon People by Dale M. Courtney

Our 14th episode! Our current book is almost 800 pages, so it's taking us a bit longer than usual to read this one. For now, enjoy the last episode we put out before our hiatus. In Episode 14, the English language is warped and twisted by the vacuum of space that is Dale M. Courtney's 'writing'. This is a very expensive short story written in the style of a child running through a park and shouting about each thing it sees. Actually, that would probably be far more entertaining and...


Episode 20 - Murder Gone A-Rye by Nancy J. Parra

Chris & Paris learn that a gluten-free themed murder mystery book exists. Naturally, they couldn't resist reading such a bizarrely specific thing. Topics discussed include people who "don't-have-celiac-but-are-intolerant-to-gluten', plots that ultimately make no damn sense, and the objectification of men.


Episode 19 - Dark Star: Confessions of a Rock Idol by Creston Mapes

This book has evangelical Christianity, drugged out rock stars, squeaky villains, and FREEDOM. Have you ever wanted to be converted to a religion by a crazy child fan who has written to you obsessively for nearly 20 years? And then marry her? Dark Star is definitely for you.


Episode 18 - Aeon Legion: Labyrinth by J.P. Beaubien

When a book opens with a Nazi coming through a time portal in a library in the year 2000, it's easy to assume that the book will be pretty bad. Somehow, though, Aeon Legion: Labyrinth jumps through time to convince us that it is less than great, but not quite terrible. Thanks to TBC listener Anya for the recommendation!


Episode 02 - Marked by Kristin & P.C. Cast

Our second episode! Our newest episode is too big to upload until the month turns due to space constraints on our server. It's already recorded, though, so the new episode will be posted next week! For now, enjoy this episode from about two years ago where Chris and I slogged through a "tween" vampire novel. In Episode Two, we begrudgingly drag ourselves through a sea of teen angst, slut shaming, poorly designed facial tattoos, and racial stereotyping in Kristin & P.C. Cast's Marked....


Episode 17 - Holy Cow by David Duchovny

David Duchovny is a female, teenage cow with a surprisingly good grasp on technology. In Holy Cow, he leads us on a journey through factory farming, Jewish stereotypes, and the Israel-Palestine conflict.


Episode 16 - Sleeping with the Fishes by Mary Janice Davidson

Dive with us into the cesspool of Boston Harbor where mermaids make out! Explore an aquarium imagined by someone who was there one time!


Episode 15 - The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump & Tony Schwartz

Chris wakes from his coma into a world of unprecedented horror.