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The Dapper Dads

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54. Reusable Rubbers

Recorded on a very weird Wednesday hear how we took Alex Jones Youtube account, a bunch of gross sex talk, one hit wonders, how many hot dogs is too many hot dogs and a submission that leads to geeking out about Goosebumps, records and Simpsons. Smash that 5 star rating WITH a nice little review because it helps us! of all the good stuff like our NEW merch and anonymous submissions Call or text 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with some juicy details Twitter...


53. Five’s A Massacre

Diving straight into year two and not much has changed. Hear about our multiple recent trips to Chicago for Kweku Collins, Against Me! and Brockhampton, the long mistreatment of elephants, a father of 64 with too much math, rampage vs. spree, whip-it addiction and a bundle of other quality stuff. Hit us with those FIVE STAR REVIEWS on Apple Podcasts/iTunes because it helps us a ton Call or text 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with anything and everything Read more of our dumb thoughts at...


52. Baby’s First Birthday

We did it. We actually made it to one year somehow. So we spend this entire episode reflecting on it. If this is your first time checking us out you might want to start with a different episode. You should also be watching this on YouTube because the video is insane. Anyway, thanks everyone for the support and making it worth continuing to a year. Year 2 is gonna get real weird so get ready. Watch the video version! Give us 5 star reviews on Apple...


51. Skol And Screams In A Thunderstorm

You think you’ve heard it all but you haven’t yet. Sit back and enjoy tales of billboard money, extreme Elvis, more grease, a voicemail full of lies, Malcolm in the Middle, fire stories, worst lyrics and other unspeakable stuff that was spoken. NEXT EPISODE IS OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. Send in your submissions NOW. Tell us your favorite moments/episodes/whatever or anything else you think would be good to discuss. DO IT NOW. Call 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) and leave a voicemail with...


50. 10 Year Old Uncle

The big ol’ 5-0. Let you ears be blessed with tales of Slim’s “volunteer work” and Drama’s brake job. Additional topics involve the documentary Finder Keepers, a slew of submissions such as breaking through the toilet paper, best sandwich choices, the importance of live performances, if we had cool new voices, what we’re willing to give up for Sheryl Crow and so much more. Tell us your favorite moments, episodes, whatever for our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY EPISODE! Call 402-7DAPPER...


49. Double Penetration Drive-In Theater

Without hesitation we get right back to our bullshit. That includes the weirder side of, the passing of beloved Duke, lobster science, alterations to school curriculum, movie reboot ideas, what happened to smut theaters and their answer to the lack thereof. Does anyone even read this anymore? Submit your favorite/funniest/whatever moments from us so far for our one year anniversary in just a few episodes! Call/text 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with the above so we can put it...


48. Xanax Chimp Schematics

We get right into Grimaces (or Grimini) again, do zombies take dumps, seeing Mount Eerie in Chicago, weirdest places they’ve shat, more quick ones including passing judgements, Lil Wayne, big spoon vs. little spoon and tons of other neurotic ramblings that should be cause for concern. Send us submissions for our one year episode! Tell us your favorite/funniest moments or episodes, when/how you started listening, what you want in the future, whatever else! Call/text 402-7DAPPER...


47. Filing Cabinet Fiasco

In a disturbing discovery we find out Slim is hording something. We also dive deep into MADtv, being blind, some high quality videos, the movie Hereditary, favorite albums and all kinds of other hot stuff. Leave us glowing 5 star reviews on the Apple podcast app Call 402-7DAPPER with your favorite episodes/moments/whatever for our one year episode Follow @DapperDads on Twitter for some reason Follow @dapperdadspodcast on Instagram for other reasons...


46. Giraffeicide

When left to our own devices it gets real weird real quick. Thankfully we got some submissions that cover 3 sexy specific quick ones, a bunch of “this or that” questions, and 3 additional quick ones. It’s a great episode full of goodness and we totally wouldn’t lie to you ever. Send us submissions so the episode are solid like this and also send your favorite Dapper moments for the one year celebration! Call 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with something fun and/or your favorite...


45. Balls Out

Right back at ya with another tolerable episode. Hear how Drama thought he was actually going to meet Kanye, Slim sloshed around in a basement adventure, how much sawdust you could put in foods, how many pigeons you could carry, first love making sessions and a big black book that we end up just reading a lot of. Plus more I’m almost sure of it. Five star reviews on the iPhone podcast app or whatever it’s called again please Call or text 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with that good good...


44. Legs Does Hollywood

Let the good times roll through this audio adventure. The guys chit chat about Evil Genius, the ability to commit their own crimes, a pair of legs that just won’t quit, least favorite music genres, the beef between Pusha T and Drake plus some other good stuff probably about balls and whatnot. GO WATCH THE VLOG FROM MINNEAPOLIS/SOUNDSET: Buy some of that sweet sweet merch already: 5 star reviews or we’re done...


43. Minneapolis For Soundset

Believe it or not, the guys lived through their 3 day bender up in Minneapolis for Memorial Day weekend and Soundset 2018. Listen to the tales of hot tubs, many many breweries, the most intense live performance the dads have witnessed so far, almost being involved in a shooting and how a board game almost broke the bonds of friendship. Plus other stuff too because boy oh boy was it a story for the history books. Get some of that hot new merch before it’s not hot anymore...


42. Eyes Wide Shut

For the cost of absolutely nothing you can press play and let the dads explain how two fish fighting looks like something kissing, LimeBikes, the random supplements their taking, keeping eyes open or closed while cranking down, a presidential submission, songs of the summer so far and a slew of references almost no one will get! What more could you ask for? Nothing! BUY SOME NEW MERCH Leave us 5 star reviews again, we miss them Call or text 402-7DAPPER...


41. On The Prowl Off Malört

There are some technical issues because we’ve become so great that everything is trying to take us down but we won’t let it happen. The first 20ish minutes are rough but full of greatness regardless. Hear about how Slim got literal poop in the mail, puking in cars and on guitars, the first successful penis transplant, new liquor decisions and all the other goodies that come in a normal episode. This episode is sponsored by Sudio. Go over to and buy yourself some...


40. Bird Mace

We’re finally over the hill and it sure does show. In this one the guys talk about old people activities, favorite commercial jingles, naps and taking them successfully, smart condom technology, sports fails and a heap of other hilarity. This episode is sponsored by Sudio headphones. Head over to and get yourself a pair using code DAPPERDADS to save 15% off your order Watch the April recap video: Give us 5 star reviews or you give...


39. Comically Large Sunglasses

Tune in tight as the guys chit chat about Drama’s new tattoo, grilling like a real dad, laser tag against an army of children, more neighbor stories, favorite 90’s cartoons, the helicopter scene from Teen Wolf and a lot of other stuff that’s of equal quality. This episode is sponsored by Sudio. Go to and use discount code DAPPERDADS for 15% off any purchase Give us more 5 star reviews already Call or text 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with whatever you want us...


38. Fingering In The Park

It’s a spicy one where the guys tackle the topics of their plans for when the world ends, Jeff Lachey, the death of demon daughters, a Curd’s Corner about releasing gas around ladies, a submission of three quick ones, the worst words and other stuff. Get it while the getting is good. Don’t forget we are available on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube (with video), Stitcher, Bandcamp and all the other things 5 star reviews or thumbs up or whatever your streaming platform has Call and text...


37. Please Don’t Touch My Cards

Slim finally decided to slam his fist straight through all of our equipment and delete a good 20 minutes of this episode but we’re so dedicated that we started from scratch and tried to bring it back. Listen to us struggle to touch on the things from the deleted segment, flea markets, waiters and waitresses, the strange stuff young boys do together and more. Plus after the episode we tack on the original audio from the camera for those who care enough. The quality is very bad but the...


36. Erotic Serial Killer Shrek Fan Fiction

Why don’t you take a load off with a fresh new episode of this here podcast? Listen to the guys blabber on about cannibalism, erotic fan fiction, avoiding social interactions at stores, what profession would be most innapropriate to wear sleeveless shirts, the rules to get in the Dapper Dad cult and more. What a bargain. Watch our March recap video: Smash that 5 star review Call or text 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with a submission or...


35. Equal Opportunity Fade Catching Establishment

There’s no more brakes on this ride so we hope you’re ready. Let your ears absorb the tales of Drama’s trip back to the doctor, the best bathtub foods, a submission that starts bad but spirals out of control, fast food drive thru experiences and a ton of other stuff. It just might be the best episode yet or possibly not. Hit those 5 star reviews, it’s our life source Call or text us at 402-7DAPPER (402-732-7737) with whatever you wanna hear us talk about Buy some merch so your...