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The Sorting Chat — A Harry Potter Podcast

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Episode 17 — Diggle Diggle Diggly Dig Diggly Diggly

Hello, and welcome back to the OTP — the One True Podcast about Harry Potter! Or so we have said. This time, we were missing our dear Dayle, but stepping into her shoes is the indomitable Dr. Saulter, who is both a mental health professional and a mother of Cherie! We spend a while talking about the Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery game, before moving onto using Dr. Saulter’s expertise to try and diagnose the mental health of all our favorite characters. Meanwhile, Lauren and Cherie both...


Episode 16 — Potions Anonymous

Welcome back to this Harry Potter podcast that has no regard for structure or even really being entertaining! On this month’s episode, we chat with guest John — and his alter-ego Charlaine — ostensibly about wizard drugs, but eventually leading to Lauren just reading the titles of Chuck Tingle novels aloud and saying sex stuff. It’s great material, everybody, you should really get in on this. [CW: Discussion of substance abuse, sex work, erotica, mention of nonconsent] Web:...


Episode 15 — #Not All Gryffindors

Hello and welcome again to this podcast, where we do Harry Potter stuff most of the time. Join us as we welcome our first repeat guest, our best friend for as long as we feel like it, Leah! We asked her, a confirmed Hufflepuff, to join the rest of us three — each a Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Slytherin — in talking about our respective houses and their characteristics. We start off with a little talk about some recent Twitter drama concerning the March for Our Lives, continue on with the...


Episode 13 — Roughin’ It

Hello again, and welcome to another episode of the Harry Potter show that just won’t quit — except when it does, eventually. In this episode, Dayle was out sick (#rememberDayle #RIPDayle) but will return resplendent for our next foray. In her place is The Sorting Chat superfan, Lauren’s brother-in-law Ian! And also Lauren’s sister Hayley, who tolerates us all. We’re discussing The Sorting at Hogwarts, The Houses, and The Lighting of Juvenile Fires In Yards. This episode also includes the...


The Third Floor Corridor — Trout Sniffer

Happy Holiday times and welcome to another episode of our occasional sub-podcast, The Third Floor Corridor, where we veer wildly off course to talk about something that is not Harry Potter. In this very merry ’sode, we talk about everybody’s favorite film franchise about an aspiring young sociopath, “Home Alone.” We will cover some of the bases, leave others entirely unexplored and maybe even slip in a little Potter talk with us. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals! Visit us at...


Episode 10 — Walkin’ Into Spiderwebs

Hey guys! A brand new episode has come down the pike for you — and what a doozy. This time, we spend a while trying to talk about privilege in the Wizarding World and Hogwarts pedagogy, before eventually spending the rest of our time making up Harry Potter fan fiction based on pop songs. It’s a pre-Thanksgiving miracle! Visit us at and send us all your favorite Evanescence lyrics at or Thanks as always to Zach...


The Third Floor Corridor — Curiosity Door

Hello, and welcome to the inaugural episode of The Sorting Chat’s sub-podcast, The Third Floor Corridor, where we very occasionally will veer dangerously off-track and talk about things that are not Harry Potter. In this episode, we’re talking about Stranger Things, mainly season 2, in the way that only we can: in long strings of uninterrupted stream-of-consciousness. Listen as we spend at least 20 minutes gushing and complaining, and then spend basically the rest of our time playing a...


Minisode 6 — Harry Potter and a Lady of a Chance

Happy Harry-ween, everyfolk! Here’s our sixth mini-sode, wherein we talk about wizard fine dining, wizard Halloween costumes and that age-old question: is Harry Potter a subject of The Queen? Inquiring minds want to know! And we give them very, very unsatisfactory answers. That’s just what we’re into here at The Sorting Chat! This episode’s title came from listener Stephanie, who had the most votes in our “generate a HP title with your dang auto-fill” contest. Please share your thoughts...


Episode 7 — Pajorts

In this episode, we talk about the cruel enslavement of house elves, wizard farm-to-table, fan fiction and the feasibility of interspecies intercourse in the wizarding world — all the stuff that’s hot with kids these days! Joining us is our special guest, Robert/Dub, who also happens to be Cherie’s “less cool” brother — his words, not mine. But also mine. Sprinkled in there is some other stuff that I can’t remember because, geez Louise it takes forever to edit these things. Enjoy! Email...


Episode 6 — Friendship Fest, Part 2: Ranch It Up or Bleu Cheese It

In this episode, we continue chatting with our Best Friend Forever Leah. Lauren attempts to reconstruct the plot of a lost piece of HP fanfiction written long ago. Cherie talks about her fantasy friendship with Shane, and grown man and high school photographer. Dayle talks about her salad-dressing-inspired personal mantra. Leah keeps supplying Dayle with alcoholic beverages. We sink into a long tangent about our middle and high school years and that wackiest of weeds. And what’s this? We...


Episode 5 — Friendship Fest, Part 1: Jude Lawd

Welcome to Episode 5! In this one, Cherie, Dayle and Lauren are joined by their old friend Leah, as they discuss the casting of Jude Law as young Dumbledore in the “Fantastic Beasts” films and his role in “The Young Pope.” Join them as they also read their very first fan email — which was actually sent in error and intended for another, similarly (identically?!) named podcast. This episode is part one of two; come back for the exciting* conclusion! *Excitement not guaranteed. Visit us at...


Minisode 3 — Full Circle

In this, our third deliciously bite-sized minisode, we mention Harry Potter between discussion of mermaids, fictional boob injuries, fraudulent book reports and whether or not “Center Stage” is a good movie. Spoiler alert: um, it’s not. Also, Cillian Murphy slips back in there somehow. This minisode consists of bonus material from our fourth episode, “Jezebel Spirit.” Email us at or visit us at We can basically almost guarantee you...


Minisode 2 — Crumpet

This mini-sode consists of unused material from our second episode — some of which I specifically said I was going to edit out of the episode, which I did, but am now sharing with you, our fine listeners, because we love you and we want you to live your best lives. We share more thoughts about “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” sandwiched between tangents about Prince William, Lauren’s weird kid and buttery, flaky crusts. Thanks, as always, to Zach Stidham for “The Sorting Chat”...


Episode 3 — What Would You Live In If You Could Live In Anything?

In this episode: is Snape a good guy? Two of your hosts go to the proverbial mats on this issue while the third drinks herself into a diabetic coma. Then we talk about wizard birth control and whether or not Madam Pomfrey is a feminist. Note: Lauren’s audio got jacked up toward the end, so apologies for the slight buzzing noise that accompanies her usually dulcet tones. As always, thanks to Zach Stidham for “The Sorting Chat” theme. Find him at or on Instagram...


Minisode 1 — Brandy, You’re a Fine Girl

In this, our first mini-sode, we talk about poop, animagi, food magic and Irish setters. This mini-sode consists of material that was edited out of our first episode — which means it is, of course, super choice. Thanks to Zach Stidham for our theme song, “The Sorting Chat Theme.” You can find Zach on Band Camp at or on Instagram


Episode 2 — Cillian Murphy is Walmart

In this episode, Cherie, Dayle and Lauren discuss “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.” Cherie attempts to cast young Dumbledore. Dayle revisits accents. Lauren still thinks Molly Weasley needs to get a job. Note: this episode was recorded in late 2016, before the role of young Dumbledore was cast. “The Sorting Chat Theme” written and recorded by Zach Stidham. Find him at or on Instagram