It's spa day for the Rhondas! Eli gets a full body waxing at a sketchy day spa, Michele has an awful date at a ski lodge, Wanda writes in to get advice about his feminine shirt, and the gang get snail massages.
An angry mob spots the Rhondas at the Captain's candlelight vigil. Eli invents a time machine out of a wicker chair. Donald sticks his finger up his butt. Michele gets badly injured and doesn't tell anyone like usual.
The Rhondas are being held for questioning about the disappearance of the captain of their cruise ship who crashed their liner into an iceberg (Ep. 7 - This is Your Captain Speaking). After finding themselves stranded on on an island with the captain, the Rhondas were forced to resort cannibalism (Ep. 8 - This is Your Captain Dying). It has been quiet up until now but the media tides have changed, and the captain is now widely regarded as a hero for apparently saving the lives of the three...
Scoops tells our future, we unbox relics from a simpler time, and discuss sudden husband death syndrome, and Miracle Whip (again). 80s 90s Vintage Mystery Box Limited Series 1 https://etsy.me/2wXcJ0f via @Etsy
The Rhondas are lost at sea, and running low on cigarettes which they hocked from the duty free counter while their cruise ship was sinking. Eli makes wicker chairs and seems content. Surprise musical number.