1- Not even fire can make him human. 2- My own private fireman. 3- Well I tried to vote... 4- Shoot first, ask questions never. 5- What, no coffee? Shoot. 6- What was she wearing? 7- She wore a hoodie. 8- Thank you, Stan Lee.
1- Op-Ed is an old school tweet 2- Tell Melania that Kanye wrote "Gold Digger" 3– Babysitting while black 4– Guilty. It's about time. Guilty. 5– "Help, Siri, It’s a cop." 6– Hurricane Michael was not caused by gays 7– Extreme your selfie 8– Two contractors walked into a bar
1– It may be bad but he’ll make it worse. 2- Damn that Helen Keller. 3- My racism isn’t racist. 4- Skinhead resume. 5- Thank you, Dr. Phil. 6- Yoga is out to get you. 7- Unreal speed, Kenya, I salute you.
1- “Don’t monkey this up.” You just did. 2- Not qualified at all. Welcome to the administration! 3- The accountant is ready to talk. 4- Leave my wife out of it, even though I said she did it. 5- Mass shooting again... 6- Cop found… guilty? 7- Hey, officers, there’s money in killin' them negroes. 8- Mollie Tibbetts and Nia Wilson both matter. 9- Aretha Franklin, Neil Simon, and John McCain. We miss you all. 10- Tiger loses off the course again 11- Serena, you are a super hero. Wear what you...
1- Thanks, Florida. 2- Unhinged... I got tapes. 3- Truth is Not Truth. Thats true. 4- Master race? You can’t get into Master Bedroom 5- Stephen Miller is a verified hypocrite 6- Those priests are still at it. Now where are the good Catholics? 7- Don’t see Billionaires Club. Go see BlackkKlansman 8- Tiger is back 9- Midseason form: Go Raiders
1 – Armando Frank was killed on YouTube. No indictment necessary. 2 – LeBron opened a school. People got mad. What The Fuck?! 3 – Don’t count your chickens, or Ostrich as the case may be. 4 – Wilbur Ross is pulling a Madoff 5 – Trump tweets beyond… oh screw it, he’s at it again. 6 – I lost my invisible plane again. Damn Where did I park it? 7 – Q Anon is coming or maybe… it's here. 8 – Nia Wilson. Say Her Name. 9 – The NRA is crying snowflake tears. 10 – The only thing worse than being...
1- Mr. Putin, your pet is at it again. 2- Oh great, now hate crimes come in all colors. 3- Here comes da judge. 4- A prosecutor who should be prosecuted 5- Rich famous, and now self-made. 6- Really self-made mayor of S.F.. 7- There are 64 million reasons to teach your kid soccer.
1. This decision makes sense. Just ask God. 2. Benefits! Get your free benefits here! 3. You will be sentenced to 30 years. 4. Horrible women 5. Permit Patty, Mike Huckabee, and other non-racist racists. 6. Life in the poor lane 7. Tweet of the Week
1- Hello, Officer, there's an NFL playing burglar outside. 2- If Canada is angry, it's you, not Canada. 3- Will they or won't they? Only Singapore knows. 4 - Piece of cake as long as it's not gay cake. 5- Welcome, champions. Well not you, or you, or those guys. 6- Tweet of the week
1- America First, whether we like it or not. 2- New police tactics seem to match old police tactics. 3- M.A.G.A. with no jobs or hospitals or housing or… 4- NFL: No Fans League 5- I’ll be damned, Rachel, someone did buy the book. 6- Go! Knights! Go! 7- Stacy Abrams for Governor
1- Stop calling cops. 2- I’ll be at the cookout. 3- Doing everything at the police station. 4- Gas is going up. Where’s that coal powered car? 5- Iran, Jerusalem, confusion, war. 6 - I’ll bet on that. 7 - Georgia on my mind. 8 - The Miserable States of America
1- Bad comes in 3s 2- Moving: now where’d you put that? 3- James Shaw is a HERO. 4- 80,000 good guys with guns can't match one black hero. 5- Speaking of heroes... Michelle Wolf is mine. 6- Goodbye, Bill. 7- We told you he’s an idiot. 8- I’m just hanging around Starbucks.
1- March For Our Lives 2- Why is Rick talking?! 3- You look like my daughter. 4- Thou Shalt Not-- Ahhh, go ahead. 5- Yes, we forgave Bill. He rebalanced the budget. 6- Trump Friends 7- Naomi Wadler's life matters. 8- Play Ball!