Just turn away for a second and your squirrel intern hires another,with your credit card. Now I have a 600 Pound 9 foot Ogre sitting in my La-Z-Boy.
Listen for Fake News today. Is Trump actually a Russian, The happenings of the Pennsyltucky Princess and why does Hillary wobble like a weebil?
Regardless is all Trumps fault,or so they say
A strong willed squirrel wont find the bird-feeder if he's not careful.
More Fake News from the best source of fake news.
When the moon covers the sun does God cast down fire and brimstone.
Why does Kale exist?
We're so busy we've been reduced to responding using only smiling happy faces wearing sunglasses.
Mother to children"you never respond to my text"
Children reply "I sent you a K".
and Al Gore and Ted Turner just get richer.
No wonder I hate New Years.
Party hound parents twisting the night away in diapers while I am left at granny's banging pots and pans.
I'll be asleep at 9 and if I am on top of overcoats in your guestroom don't wake me.
6 Months of pure self loathing and guilt awaits if you won't leave Dodge in time.
If I give Mrs.jaygerardtoday and Debbie all the Necco wafers the kids will go back to swallowing nickles.
Appease the masses with Snickers,but it better not be those mini's!
You may as well sleep through the 2nd debate...nothing to see here.
The real news is out there, on the streets, lurking behind every corner just waiting to hurl a cream pie.
Be kind to all who don the rainbow wig for the clown may be somebody's mother's oil painting.
Remember to speak well of all, at least while your Mommy is within earshot.