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w3thr33tr0lls

Comedy Podcasts >

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Location:

United States

Language:

English


Episodes

Episode 28

7/11/2018
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Summer’s here! The days have gotten longer, the skirts have gotten shorter and it seems as if an ice cream truck’s song can perpetually be heard no matter which way you turn. Street carnivals are popping up everywhere and the beaches are overcrowded with frolicking families. But not your family…your family forgot you existed ages ago. This summer will be just like last summer, just you alone in your mother’s basement with your hobbies, your comic books, your junk food, your childhood...

Duration:00:28:53

Episode 27

7/4/2018
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Every day it’s the same except today because today is July 4th! Lady Liberty’s b-day! The old gal don’t look a day over 30! And you’re ready to celebrate Lady Lib’s birthday in style, for just last night you took a ride out past the county line to procure yourself an assortment of fireworks. You got firecrackers, black cats, bobcats, zipperheads, wailing wheels, poppers, felchers, sparklers and, your favorite, roman candles. You light the first Roman candle from a safe distance…it doesn’t...

Duration:00:55:24

Episode 26

6/27/2018
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Every day it’s the same: You walk alone to school, sit alone at school, walk home alone from school. You are hated by all and most intensely by yourself. Then one day Alexandra appears. Alexandra moves into the house up the block and she walks to school alone every day too. At first Alexandra leaves her house well after you leave yours, silently trailing far behind you along the route to school but as the months wear on, Alexandra times her exit to coincide with your passing of her house....

Duration:00:29:52

Episode 25

6/20/2018
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The devil went down to Newport Beach, CA—he was lookin’ for a soul to snatch. He came upon this young man tinkling the ivories of a keytar and playin’ it hot and he thought, “Looks like I met my match!” The devil hopped up on a park bench and introduced himself to the young man. The young man said his name was Kyle and he told the devil he had inherited the keytar from his father when his father passed away 3 years ago. The devil exclaimed, “Oh, I know your father well, I’ve kept an eye on...

Duration:00:54:17

Episode 24

6/13/2018
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Every day it’s the same, every day it’s the end of the world…your family doesn’t understand you…your church group thinks you’re a freak…your friends have forgotten you…you slip your earbuds in…thank god for W3 Thr33 Tr0lls! W3 Thr33 Tr0lls is your rock! It’s your reason for living!

Duration:00:27:53

Episode 23

6/6/2018
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Every day it’s the same, every day they chew you up and spit you out. Your bullies are many, your friends are few; in fact, it’s just you, you against the world. One day you’ll move to the city and meet other queerkin furries like yourself but right now you live in a small midwestern town and you’re on your own, kid. How to fight back? Ratting out your bullies never did any good, it only made the bullying worse. Your dad bought you a 9 millimeter for your birthday and told you to feel free...

Duration:00:31:48

Episode 22

6/1/2018
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Day late, dollar short. Late. Late again. Your period is late again. And the bills are past due. Plan B was your Plan A but Trump took away funding for Planned Parenthood and your friendly neighborhood baby-killer had to close up shop. And now it’s too late. It’s later than you think. He’s late, said he had to finish up something at work. Again. You know where he’s been burning that midnight oil lately… You’d love to tell him “later skater!” but your period’s late. And the bills are late;...

Duration:00:29:11

Episode 21

5/23/2018
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The TV weatherman swore up and down the hurricane would swerve away from your city at the last possible minute; the television was wrong once again. The hurricane blew most everything away as it blew through town. Deceived by the TV, you elected not to evacuate. Luckily, your mama didn’t raise any fools, you’d already stocked your home with the necessary provisions, namely a case of Mad Dog 20/20 and several dozen cartons of Twinkies that will never go bad. You smile to yourself as the...

Duration:00:32:06

Episode 20

5/16/2018
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You walk to the drug store to procure a fresh pack of razor blades. The cashier is taking FOREVER, doesn’t she know you have something you NEED to be doing right now?! Oh, great, now she’s making small talk as you tap your fingers on the counter impatiently. She rattles on impassively. How can someone be so clueless? How can someone be so HEARTLESS? You’ve had enough; you lash out at her. You tell her you are in a hurry and she needs to shut her word-hole and finish ringing you up before...

Duration:00:29:55

Episode 19

5/9/2018
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Choose your own MISadventure: It’s noon. You have a splitting headache. You just woke up. Do you: Face the day OR grab a fifth & an eighth, hop into your 1999 Ford Fiesta, crank up the W3 Thr33 Tr0lls & drive ANYWHERE, the choice is yours, choose wisely…

Duration:00:45:21

Episode 18

5/2/2018
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You only let him back in because he swore he’d keep his hands to himself this time…well, it’s just 3 days later and here you are on your hands and knees cleaning his blood off the kitchen tile. All he had to do was keep his hands to himself but he just couldn’t do it, the swine…you need a break from scrubbing the floor. You rise to your feet. You light a Virginia Slim. You taste the smoke. Tastes like freedom. You pop in your earbuds, crank up the volume and listen to W3 Thr33 Tr0lls on...

Duration:00:27:01

Episode 17

4/25/2018
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Every day it’s the same. Roused from slumber some time before noon I make a beeline for the nearest liquor store, which is helpfully located right across the way. I buy a fifth of anything cheap; if it rots my guts it goes down the hatch. Booze procured, I stagger back to my house across the street. I lurch into the front door and draw all the curtains. I turn on the TV and it’s already tuned to Fox News sans sound. I take my first pull from the bottle and slip my headphones on. I press...

Duration:00:32:42

Episode 16

4/18/2018
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I’d like to teach the world to troll in perfect disharmony…

Duration:00:31:33

Episode 15

4/12/2018
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Do you want to cry or do you want pussy?

Duration:00:30:36

Episode 14

4/4/2018
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If you had access to a magical monkey’s paw, would you use that paw’s power to destroy this podcast once and for all…? DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN, TUFF GUY??

Duration:00:34:19

Episode 13

3/28/2018
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It’s a weird moon. Moon kills, you know. It feeds off the earth. On a night like this, one of us could get up in the middle of the night, grab an axe and cut someone’s head off. I remember a night like this a few years ago. A guy and a girl went out driving, it was one of their first dates, started out kind of casual, but they ended up deciding to go park. Not too far from here, as a matter of fact. Well, they were going at it listening to the radio, all of the sudden a news bulletin...

Duration:00:26:20

Episode 12

3/21/2018
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You’re doin’ time in society’s prison, your only crime was birth but they still gave you a life sentence. Who will break you free from your state-sponsored misery? W3 Thr33, g! Indubitably! From the schoolhouse to the poorhouse to the courthouse and even the jailhouse, W3 Thr33 Tr0lls has been trudging alongside you every step of the way, laughing as we march hand-in-hand to the madhouse #LiveLaughLove

Duration:00:27:52

Episode 11

3/14/2018
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DOWNLOAD OR DIE DEGRADED N DISGRACED, DUMMY

Duration:00:47:07

Episode 10

3/7/2018
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Just playin’

Duration:00:50:41

Episode 09

2/28/2018
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Who’s that rapping at your window? A caller at THIS hour? You open your window to find W3 Thr33 Tr0lls standing in your front yard, dressed to the nines as always, at their feet 3 boxes containing spirits, rolls of toilet paper and fireworks. You throw on your shades and throw caution to the wind…you’re riding with US tonight!

Duration:00:32:52