Hairy Butthole

This week, Youngmi asks Mino Bowien (her son) what he knows about Trump and American politics. She also reflects on the first time Trump was elected president in 2016 and realizes for the first time the positive changes that came in her life as a direct result.

This week, Youngmi processes her emotions about her book coming out next week in real time. She comes to the realization that her fear of her parents being angry at her for sharing her account of her childhood is actually misplaced sadness, anger and the feeling of utter unfairness at the realization that she is, in fact, the person who deserves to be angry. She realizes she is the person owed an apology, not the other way around. She also once again touches on how ridiculous it is to feel bad when something good happens.

This week, Youngmi talks to Sohla El-Waylly (James Beard Award Winning cookbook author of Start Here) about the running internet joke about white people not seasoning their chicken. Sohla explains the definition of properly seasoning food, and how white people are not necessarily in the wrong here. She also discusses all the nuances surrounding her emotions about weight gain during pregnancy and the stress of not losing 'the baby weight' fast enough, leading to a deeper conversation about where unhappy feelings originate from and how they might not necessarily be about the weight.

This week, Youngmi speaks with Jon Kung (content creator, cookbook author) about his practice of hiding his career accomplishments from his parents. Jon traces his aversion to boasting about his success to his childhood, where he felt pitted against his peers in a competition against his will. Jon and Youngmi discuss the confusing rules surrounding boasting in Asian cultures, where one is never allowed to be proud of their own accomplishments, which unfortunately seems to create a lot of passive aggressive "fake humble" behavior. Youngmi explains how the phrase "잘난척하지마!" or "Don't be a show-off!" (direct translation: Don't pretend you're a high born!) is one of the most common insults in Korea whenever anyone is seen doing anything even minimally boastful, due to cultural disdain of show-offs.

Youngmi talks to Nancy Whang (LCD Soundsystem) about her continual journey with taking psychedelics to cure depression. Nancy also shares the story of the passing of her father, which turns out to be the most Korean most-laugh-while-crying story of all Hairy Butthole history.

This week, Youngmi's son Mino Bowien (child) asks to discuss the death of their cat, Donggo. Mino requested to discuss his feelings about the passing of their cat, and includes advice to other children and even adults dealing with the grief of losing a pet.

This week, Youngmi chats with Anthony Hull (filmmaker, founder of Side Projects). Anthony discusses what led him down the path to becoming a storyteller, and largely credits his Korean mom. When questioned about what his sad life experiences are, Anthony deflects the focus to his mother's hardships, and Youngmi questions the impulse to not want to center himself. Anthony also discusses what life is like as a filmmaker/creative who has a successful career in New York City, and how living it is extremely different than how it appears to be to others.

This week, Youngmi talks to Mary H.K. Choi (author) about her essay in The Cut about her recent autism diagnosis at the age of 43. Mary throws a curveball by focusing the conversation on Youngmi's upcoming memoir and the theme of loving and hating Korea. Mary reflects on the strongly negative view Youngmi has about Korea, and discusses how before this, Asian American literature has been almost void of such strong criticisms of our "homelands." Youngmi and Mary have a deep conversation about how a big part of Korean culture is to recognize that love and hate are the same thing and that saying "Fuck Korea!" is the most Korean thing a Korean person can do.

This week, Youngmi reads an essay she wrote about a recent relationship and breakup she experienced with a people pleaser.

This week, Youngmi talks to her anonymous neighbor "Barbara," who coincidentally is also going through a terrible breakup. Barbara and Youngmi discuss the nuances of their relationships, and ultimately find the bond they were searching for in romantic relationships with men, between themselves.

This week, Youngmi discusses the death of her cat Donggo, whose name means butthole in Korean and who was extra hairy. She also touches on the larger topic of grief and how to strike a balance between making room for grief and getting back to living life, and parenting a child experiencing grief.

This week, Youngmi speaks with her close friend, renowned mixologist and cocktail book author, John deBary. John discusses being diagnosed with autism less than a month ago at the age of 41. He dives into a unique experience among people who receive diagnoses as adults: combing through huge events throughout their childhood and early lives and realizing how monumental the impact of their neurodivergence was in the formation of their identities. John discusses two of the most memorable events in his childhood and how they were the direct result of him having autism and his parents failing to realize that.

This week, Youngmi talks to Kate Moran (producer of Asian Comedy Fest, comedian, host of The Witchcast podcast) about her story as a Korean adoptee who succeeded in finding her birth mother. She notes how rare her experience was and discusses the strange feeling of grieving the loss of an imaginary "fairy mother" when meeting her biological mother who was, in fact, a human being with flaws. Kate reflects on how strange it was for her to search for a perfect mother all her life, only to realize no one really has one. But we all have Margaret Cho to look up to.

This week, Youngmi talks to Brittany Carney (writer, comedian, star of That is My Horse) about being part of a race that you do not appear to be. Brittany shares a story about bonding with a Japanese child at a science camp she was teaching at. As a mixed-race person of Japanese and African American heritage, she talks about the rejection she feels when Japanese people have a hard time reading her as "one of them." This is especially difficult for her as someone who was born and raised for a significant portion of her childhood in Japan and speaks Japanese as her native language. Brittany and Youngmi also discuss what the world of standup is like for women in today's world, where standup fans are more extreme and polarized than ever.

This week, Youngmi talks with Jared Goldstein (actor, comedian) about struggling to be one of the "cool kids" in high school. Jared points out that contrary to the popular trope of bullies ending up working in gas stations while the kids they bullied become successful, real-life mean kids are usually rich and subsequently do very well as adults. Jared also talks about how 99 percent of his profession is dealing with rejection and how he's learned to deal with that.

This week, Youngmi talks to Ed Pokropski (creator of Case 84: Adopted in the USA, producer of Asian Comedy Festival) about the one-person show he wrote about his adoption and subsequent return visit to Korea. Ed talks about growing up not wanting to visit Korea because of the resentment he felt about the forced narratives surrounding adoption and the idea of it being his "homeland." He also talks about having an emotional breakdown while visiting an orphanage in Korea and seeing a poster of a Korean baby being adopted by Korean parents. Youngmi relates to the feelings of being abandoned and/or rejected by a collective society because of her biracial identity.

This week, Youngmi talks to Charlene Kaye (musician/actor/creator of Tiger Daughter) about the extremely taboo topic of mother-daughter competition. Charlene talks about how her pursuit of her music/acting career was difficult for her mother to experience as someone who had to give up on her own dreams of becoming a singer as a young girl struggling with poverty in Singapore. Youngmi and Charlene discuss how both Asian cultural practices and misogyny set women and young girls up to feel competitive with each other because of the scarcity of validation.

This week Youngmi speaks with Umeko Motoyoshi (they/them), the founder of the online home goods store Umeshiso. Motoyoshi speaks about growing up in a cult founded by their father—an environment where the adults in their community had poor boundaries and where Motoyoshi had to take on a parental role as a child. This was coupled with the exhausting masking of their autism, which led them to a suicide attempt at the age of 13. They were court ordered to attend their small town's branch of AA, which was unfortunately a branch rife with abuse, exacerbating their mental health issues further. Motoyoshi also discusses how they started an e-commerce home goods brand fueled by their passion for coffee with the experience they gained working at a tech startup.

This week, Tulika Bose (journalist) joins the pod again to discuss the tense and somewhat terrifying climate of newsrooms following Oct. 7. She talks about how the "punishment" for speaking up has fallen disproportionately on the shoulders of women of color and how journalists are being silenced due to the interests of sponsors. She touches on the ways in which the industry runs now being almost counterintuitive to sharing the truth, while discussing the positives of social media information sharing as well as the downfalls, including the spread of misinformation. Bose also shares her vision for the future of journalism: a blend of old-school investigative research and modern social media savvy.

This week, Youngmi talks to Oak Laokwansathitaya (@notanothertree). Oak and Youngmi discuss the one year anniversary of their trip to Thailand. Oak discusses what it feels like as a Thai person going to a country known for its foreign tourist industry and how he feels protective of the people of Thailand when witnessing poor treatment at the hands of tourists.