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The Doghouse Bastards

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DHB 234: Halloween Havoc

Hello fellow Spooksters! This is not one of our usual shows, recorded entirely on the move as we head out to a House of Horror for the night! Lurch gets horribly drunk, so you can imagine how it all plays out.. Enjoy! Scott.


DHB 233: Piss Chimp

Scott is joined by Lurch and Money Maker Maynard! / We're a little excited that Maynard is back / Willie has returned! / It's Lurch's birthday, so we brought in some treats / Lurch is on the whisky and spring rolls / Maynard's Law is tested / We need a new laptop, who can hook us up with a good laptop? / "Diplomatic Immunity" / Lurch paid over £200 for a door handle / All this and more on tonight's DHB Radio Show!


DHB 232: Assuming My Agenda

Scott is joined by Lurch and Tessington World of Adventure / Lurch builds a fence as dark as his soul / Man loses fingernail up his unmentionable / Tess keeps assuming everyone's gender, ugh / Lurch is picking fights over a skip / Scott gets a bit ranty / A new winner of the coveted 'JMAFBWFPOTW' / Quick Fire Questions what Lurch did with a Mini Chocolate Roll / All this and more on tonight's DHB Radio Show!


DHB 231: Stuck in a Cage

Joining Captain Sasquatch tonight are Lurch Monster and The Sandman! We cover everything from being stuck in a cage like a trapped rat, why jeans these days are all skinny and how being heavily medicated makes you a bit doo-lally.. All this and more on the latest DHB Radio Show!


DHB BONUS CONTENT - 230 Aftershow

We haven't released an aftershow in a long time, have we? Well, this is one of the few times when it's 'just' decent enough to not get us in trouble with the law, and even then we're bloomin' pushing it.. See? I don't even swear in this description bitty in case we get blacklisted! Anywho, this is the recording of the discussion we had after the outro for our last show ended. Hopefully it'll fill your day with nonsense until we record our next show, hopefully next week. Toodle-Oooh!!


DHB 230: Milk Hawkeye

Show hosted by the always wonderful Jebediah Feckstick, performance director of a very famous Broadway theatre, along with Lurch Monster the our very special guest 'Black Swan', Tessington! This show ran so well that we were left with content spare, so later this week we'll be releasing the near 40 minute aftershow that you non-live viewers completely missed. We do this, because we love you. And yes, for one week only we even love the John's out there. Of course, I don't mean 'Johns' as...


DHB 229: Aye Switey

Joining Captain Johnny Handsome on the USS Fantastic tonight are Admiral Lurch and First Lieutenant Tessington! Join us as we travel through the seas of online pornography, wallow in the depths of Tinder and those who send voicemails, and splash our toes in the world of Homosexuality, when someone writes in wanting to give Lurch a thorough raking through.. All this and more on tonight's DHB Radio Show!


DHB 228: Demon Growler

I don't mean to boast, but when you can throw together a couple of shoogly £5 chairs in a working butchers shop, convince people to get out of their onesies and come knock on the door at silly o'clock in the evening to win a prize, whilst also revealing intimate details about their sexy times, then you know that it was worth the nae sleep to get the show recorded. That's right, we recorded this slobberknocker live from the Tilly Butchers shop! Listen in as we cover everything from demonic...



This is not a regular show! Sadly we've had no time to get together and record, but you might like this as a bit of filler until we get together next week. Recently Scott and Lurch were invited onto SHMU FM by top breakfast host Sandy 'The Sandman' Gibson, were we broadcasted a late night, swear free show to the whole of Aberdeen and and Aberdeenshire. Sandy has been kind enough to send us a copy of the show for you all to enjoy. Hope you like it!



Well this is another example of what we call her in Scotland, 'A Stramash' / Scott nearly goes into a smashing frenzy due to a laptop / Steev nearly died, genuinely! / Lurch takes his dress up to a whole new level / Man grabs ass, gets hoofed in crackers / 'Get Tae Yer Bed!' - The best audio since One Eyed Willie / All this and more on tonight's DHB Radio Show!


DHB 226: June's Lum

Yeah it's been a while, but we're back with a goddamned vengeance with this show! Joining the managerial team of Sasquatch and Lurch is new guest Sandy The Other Manny The Sandman From Shmu FM the Manny! LOTS of great stories in this one / Sandy has to pass the new SPC check for all new guests / Scott tries to prank Lurch, ends up getting made to look like an incontinent fool at the supermarket / AGM incoming, we're getting ready / We petition the Sandman to let us on to FM radio /...


DHB 225: I'm Gonna Kill That Baron B*****d!

Technology can suck balls, like big massive swinging balls sometimes. Take for instance this recording, where both recording devices failed me, and I had to rip the audio from the video file instead. You shouldn't notice any difference, it's still myself and Lurch shouting into microphones to compensate for our miserable existences. But wait! There's two other voices in the mix too! That's right, we're joined by a returning 'Tesseract/Tessington World of Adventure' and newbie Matty...


DHB 224: The Church of Lurch

It's always about one - upmanship, isn't it? You get something nice, and someone close to you has to crap all over it and do something better.. Well, there's that, and other things to discuss in tonight's episode, including Lurch's adventures in cinema visits, Scott having an unruly sort invade the beautiful homestead and an appeal for new guests! All this and a lot more on tonight's bad ass DHB Radio Show!


DHB 223: The EMP Toodle

You know, a listener said it best when they commented, "Watching Scott trying to handle Lurch and The Apprentice on the show together is like watching a dad struggling to keep his ADHD riddled kids from running chaos at Disneyland". And they're not far wrong.. In this latest episode of The DHB Radio Show, hear how Lurch has blown another wad of cash to one-up Scott, how The Apprentice has been matched with chocolate on Tinder and how absent show guests deal with a woman refusing to get...


DHB 222: Dungarees for Chickens

So here's the thing. This show is really only about 1hr 40mins long, and throughout Lurch was knocking back a £50 bottle of wine like it was fecking Ribena. So hang around after the outro music, as we kept recording to see how messed up he would get.. And he did. We cover everything from egg throwing junkies, drilling holes in walls and why you'd spank away a grand on a partially working arcade machine. Yeah, all plans for emails and stories went out the window with this one, Lurch was on...



Jeez, it's been like.. FOREVER since we last recorded a show! Luckily Scott, Lurch Monster and Steevasaurus haven't forgotten how it all works and got together to record this nonsense! Hear how Scott's head looks like the watermelon from Dirty Dancing, how Steev is being press ganged into appearing in LURCHAPALOOZA 2017 and why The Baron is seeing glittering snakes whilst watching 'Platoon' for the 42nd time over the space of two weeks. All this and a helluva lot more on this week's DHB...


DHB 220: Bane Cock

A new year and a new episode of your favourite podcast! Well, it might not be your 'favourite', but at least you'll play it in the car while you navigate your fat ass through the MacDonalds Drive-Thru.. Joining the captain of the awesome ship tonight is Baron Von Lurch Monster. He's been a low boy lately, so wer'e going to be launching 'Lurch Aid' soon - stay tuned.


DHB 219: Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozey Snooze

Well this one is an absolute stramash of Old Skool goodness.. Did you know that we'll soon be six years old, and did you know that it's been over a year and a half since we've had a gathering this laden with former guests? Well, buckle in people to hear all about some shocking news from Maynard, some not-shocking news from the victorious Lurch Monster and some 'lock your cats and other stabby prone animals away from The Coops' news! Yep.. Oh, and we get gatecrashed by a random sandwich...


DHB 218: Self Defence Beard

Hey, listen.. This is just a short one, I know this. But I had to go and do things! Jeez, cut me a damned break people, it's not easy for us being podcasting superstars AND maintaining real lives! Do you want a leg? Because I'll cut a damned leg off to say sorry if that's what you really want, you monsters. You know what, I'm not sorry - screw you. I don't even mean that, daddy says bad things when he's upset. So basically this show is a little short. I had to cut off the recording early,...


DHB 217: It Wipes It's Face

Lurch Monster joins Scott tonight for an 'off the cuff' show, pretty much put together to let Lurch vent his fury at women kind in general. He's feeling a bit put out by the fairer sex folks, and he's not holding back when it comes to telling it how it is. Buckle in and prepare for rage face Von Lurch Monster! Scott.