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Two Star Podcast


It's four blokes talking about stuff. Look, we're not hurting anyone, just leave us be.


United Kingdom


It's four blokes talking about stuff. Look, we're not hurting anyone, just leave us be.




Episode 265 – Bum Health Special

In which our heroes look bumward. Adam has a colonoscopy, Dan says colonoscopies are cool, Graham reads up on polyps and Chris visits a psych ward.


Episode 264 – Mans Got Bare Skills

In which our heroes update their wills. Chris and Dan eat 20 plants (each), Graham quits his job and Adam starts a new one.


Episode 263 – Francis Bacon’s Ghost Chicken

In which our heroes talk about ghosts. Graham says Joris Bohnson smells like ham, Chris goes to the cinema and Adam dampens beds in hotels.


Episode 262 – Dorse Gods

In which our heroes confess to crimes. Graham has job interviews, Adam solves crimes in a retro-futuristic city, Dan joins a school choir and Chris sends Valentines cards to little boys


Episode 261 – Procedurally Generated Obscenity

In which our heroes take both sides on Phillip Schofield, fondly recall Chris’ past as a predatory salesman, refuse Pascal’s wager, speculate on Dan’s potential as a white collar criminal, and then put various machine learning thingies on the internet through their horrific paces.


Episode 260 – A Fllb Of Water

In which our heroes just chat absolute nonsense for ages. Chris sells his bath water, Dan isn’t a real person, Graham gives some solid legal advice and Adam re-mortgages his house.


Episode 259 – Tokyo Drift In The World Of Audio Entertainment

In which our heroes explore the wonderful possibilities of AI and learn about cathing. Graham doxxes a listener’s bum, Dan is an idiot and he’s a genius, Chris shoplifts bananas and Adam is host number 1.


Episode 258 – The Murdering Olympics

In which our heroes break yet more ground in terms of what is possible in the medium of podcast. Graham drives a lorry through Europe, Chris has his testicles fondled by many people, Dan becomes a serial killer and Adam has an MRI scan several years ago. Ali from Nottingham makes a cameo.


Episode 257 – 2023 Predictions

In which our heroes review their 2022 predictions and make some for 2023. Dan looks like a wally in front of a real man, Graham fights everyone, Chris counts his wine and Adam is just an all round great guy who we all appreciate and love (I forgot what he contributed to this episode). And … Continue reading Episode 257 – 2023 Predictions →


Episode 256 – Trilogies

In which our heroes quiet quit over Christmas, discuss the valuable cleansing effects of Lashmas and Dragon Soop. They then settle down to wax nostalgic about the first lockdown, and plan their survival in the upcoming revolution. Next is appreciation for Anna Kendrick, and the tricky business of film trilogies.


Episode 254 – Greek Roulette

In which our heroes liquidate their assets and bet on black. Chris loses the ability to tie his shoes, Graham hires people who fall asleep on the job, Dan logs a support ticket for his microphone and Adam suffers a traumatic wrist injury which is not related to wanking.


Episode 252 – Sk8r Boi The Musical

In which our heroes debrief on the visit to Milton Keynes. Graham makes a fortune in musical theatre, Adam causes the UK government to collapse and Dan pegs an heir to the throne.


Episode 250 – The Bad Boy Ballet

In which our heroes celebrate a significant milestone. Graham has a billion pound business proposition, Adam moves out of Cyber and Dan tells us about Pablo Escobar’s hippos. (We said we would release this in Q3, but not which year, so it could be argued that this is early ACTUALLY)


Episode 255 – Mastodon Special

In which our heroes beome the official #podcast of Mastodon. Dan ruins Lashmas, Graham Googles train departures, Chris watches a sexy Turkish barber and Adam leaves a huge announcement to the very last minute.


Episode 249 – Platty Jubes Special

In which our heroes are surrounded by bunting and monarchists. Graham refuses to find out some basic knowledge, Dan launders some Dutch money and Adam goes on a train. This episode is from the Olden Days when we had a living Queen.


Episode 248 – Synonyms

In which our heroes suggestively eat a Calypo and then spend an hour playing a game that basically involves arguing about synonyms.


Episode 253 – Queen Is Dead, Long Live King

In which London Bridge has Fallen. Our heroes talk about the Royal Death, Korfball refereeing and ratify a backlog of Eggs.


Episode 244 – Trains, Nicknames and Tattoos

In which our heroes discuss Adam’s unfortunate experiences with the trains, badger Dan into getting a better nickname, talk about tattoos they’re never going to get, and then have a nice chat about the F1. Finally, Chris embarks on some product placement.


Episode 242 – The Events

In which our heroes discuss the unfolding Ukraine crisis, surprisingly without bad taste or judgment, reflect on the ongoing Events in the UK. Then Chris gets kidnapped or something and Adam and Dan feel bad for a bit then abandon him. He’s probably fine?


Episode 247 – Homeless Energy

In which our heroes talk about kicking sick kids while they’re down. Graham recaptures then laments his lost youth and is judged by a tramp, Adam gets new wardrobes and Dan is replaced with a Romanian.