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You Look Nice Today

Comedy

A Journal of Emotional Hygiene, staffed by lonelysandwich, scottsimpson, and hotdogsladies.

A Journal of Emotional Hygiene, staffed by lonelysandwich, scottsimpson, and hotdogsladies.

Location:

CA

Description:

A Journal of Emotional Hygiene, staffed by lonelysandwich, scottsimpson, and hotdogsladies.

Twitter:

@ylnt

Language:

English


Episodes

California King: "What is HØL?"

4/4/2020
Our work was done. We'd said all we needed to say. We apparated from this world, much like monks who retreat to a mountaintop hovel. Only for us, we apparated via Greyhound and hoveled in an abandoned Bauxite mine outside Eufaula, Alabama. Everything was going great. We each had our own little cavernlet in which to do our alonetime ablutions and adult irrigations, and every evening we gathered by the pile of old cigarettes to tell stories and scratch each others' bug bites. We chopped wood,...

Duration:00:37:32

Vintage Vape

5/16/2015
Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right, we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you can enjoy with your family for generations.

Duration:00:11:59

Episode 51: Vintage Vape

5/16/2015
Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right, we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you can enjoy with your family for generations.

Duration:00:11:59

Scat Academy (Part 1)

11/1/2013
Welcome to the You Look Nice Today® Scat Immersion Program™. No dogs, babies, or squares allowed. In preparation for your first day on campus, please learn these key phrases, as they represent your final connection with your native tongue: SCAT: Gom zibby, glom zibby, bop zibby domp! ENGLISH: Please, do not raise your voice; I have a terrific heroin headache. SCAT: Bomp ZEE bop! Spoo-da-lee BEE zot? ENGLISH: Has this pepper spray youre selling me been stepped on? SCAT: Babe sop potta womp,...

Duration:00:46:25

Episode 50: Scat Academy (Part 1)

11/1/2013
Welcome to the You Look Nice Today® Scat Immersion Program™. No dogs, babies, or squares allowed. In preparation for your first day on campus, please learn these key phrases, as they represent your final connection with your native tongue: SCAT: Gom zibby, glom zibby, bop zibby domp! ENGLISH: Please, do not raise your voice; I have a terrific heroin headache. SCAT: Bomp ZEE bop! Spoo-da-lee BEE zot? ENGLISH: Has this pepper spray you’re selling me been “stepped on?” SCAT: Babe sop...

Duration:00:46:25

Episode 49: Make a Given Wish

1/2/2013
As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need. So, YES: we will sell, lend, or lease you a built-to-purpose condition along with its appropriate consolation. But, NO: we’re absolutely not Santa Claus. So, get real, you big fakers. In any case. Get well soon, and here’s that brief bedside visit from the late Sargent Shriver you never...

Duration:00:28:15

Make a Given Wish

1/2/2013
As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need. So, YES: we will sell, lend, or lease you a built-to-purpose condition along with its appropriate consolation. But, NO: were absolutely not Santa Claus. So, get real, you big fakers. In any case. Get well soon, and heres that brief bedside visit from the late Sargent Shriver you never...

Episode 48: Schrodinger's Conference Bag

12/2/2012
Welcome to the global premiere of the International You Look Nice Today Conference & Expo™! Get ready for an epic showcase of big-idea ideations and tactical tactics to be held in the picturesque Los Altos Community Centre, December 2nd 2012! Join old colleagues and make new friends in an immersive networking environment of blue-sky solutioneering and overcoats! Experience a wide-ranging and impactful offering of Keynotes, Panels, Super-Panels, Breakout Sessions, Birds-of-a-Feathers,...

Duration:00:33:09

Episode 47: Adam Ruins Everything

11/2/2012
Listen. It’s actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program™” you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income. Recruit two friends, ask them to recruit two friends, and—BOOM—you’re reviving even the most tired franchise. Mazel Tov!

Duration:00:40:36

Adam Ruins Everything

11/2/2012
Listen. Its actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today Inverted Triangle Program™ you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income. Recruit two friends, ask them to recruit two friends, and—BOOM—youre reviving even the most tired franchise. Mazel Tov! Thanks, insooutso

Episode 46: Poolside

10/2/2012
ATTENTION! POOL RULES! Also: what’s your theme song; Adam the lion; cloggin’ a drain; seeing yourself in a mirror; grits etc.; Burt Reynolds; peeing on Car 17; splashing is not drowning; pool chairs for everyone bro; browsing TV Guide; Robin Hood of chaises; an original Playstation; The Meerkats and the Laundry Bag; nipples in a crawlspace; ask Quora; the sausage sweats.

Duration:00:36:13

Episode 45: Morning Glory

9/2/2012
TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinational food and detergent company. So I understand that you are a very busy man. My problem, while small compared to all of the things you must worry about every day, is of dire importance to me. I have been a fan of your Ragu line of pasta sauces for many years. Specifically, I love your Ragu Robusto™ Six Cheese Pasta Sauce. More specifically, I...

Duration:00:30:21

Morning Glory

9/2/2012
TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinational food and detergent company. So I understand that you are a very busy man. My problem, while small compared to all of the things you must worry about every day, is of dire importance to me. I have been a fan of your Ragu line of pasta sauces for many years. Specifically, I love your Ragu Robusto™ Six Cheese Pasta Sauce. More specifically, I love to...

Episode 44: The Rules

8/2/2012
Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership! Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with optional Sports Package and Premium Ground Effects. This favored daughter of luxury is blessed with power steering, calfskin cup holders, and eleven LCD screens. And, she is yours today, my friend, for the pittance of $32,000. Very nice! [silence] Ahhhhhhhhh, yes, my friend. I can tell from your ironic eyeglasses and gawky demeanor that you are the kind...

Duration:00:39:37

The Rules

8/1/2012
Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership! Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with optional Sports Package and Premium Ground Effects. This favored daughter of luxury is blessed with power steering, calfskin cup holders, and eleven LCD screens. And, she is yours today, my friend, for the pittance of $32,000. Very nice! [silence] Ahhhhhhhhh, yes, my friend. I can tell from your ironic eyeglasses and gawky demeanor that you are the kind...

Episode 43: Gellies Local 416

7/2/2012
Thieving Threesome Nabbed (California) Three men were detained and arrested at a local Target today, charged with the attempted theft of over $400 in merchandise. The men refused to identify themselves, giving only their local club affiliation: Gellies Local 416. “This wasn’t your normal grab-and-go,” said Target assistant manager Charles Monjohnson. “Like what they were wearing: fezzes, vests, and some kind of extremely roomy jumpsuit.” Also strange, he said, were the items they...

Duration:00:33:27

Episode 42: Druthers, CA

6/2/2012
https://assets.fireside.fm/file/fireside-images/podcasts/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/episodes/b/b4c472d3-440f-4b45-9c84-3b745acc94e1/header_small.jpg?ver=1 Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us: • Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward. • DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover. • No sighing in the doughnut line. • Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer...

Duration:00:40:55

Druthers, CA

6/1/2012
Druthers, CA | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us: • Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward. • DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover. • No sighing in the doughnut line. • Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer chrissakes. • Uncle Blackmans Enthusiastic Antebellum Sprinting Adventure is closed for renovation until further notice. • Keep a sharp...

Episode 41: The Stenciled Approach

5/2/2012
The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear! First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled, re-steamed, cobblered, new-jacked, and–yes–packed. To help you get your own Summer bag rolling in style, take a minute to inventory your way through our indispensable You Look Nice Today Packing List: and...

Duration:00:40:00

The Stenciled Approach

5/2/2012
The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer Summers right around the corner, guys. So, lets get in gear—yes, your gear! First, make sure youve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled, re-steamed, cobblered, new-jacked, andyespacked. To help you get your own Summer bag rolling in style, take a minute to inventory your way through our indispensable You Look Nice Today Packing List: Cobbler...