The Good Divorce Show

Relationships are hard; you get that. But why do we MAKE them so hard?! Karen meets with Dr. Sean Fitzpatrick of the Jung Center to map out the pitfalls of romantic relationships that we all fall into and how we can help ourselves out of them. Plus, learn how to navigate the end of a marriage, even when the relationship itself remains, by utilizing compassion and grace to craft a good divorce. . . . LINKS FROM THIS INTERVIEW: -- https://junghouston.org/ -- https://www.sfitzpatrick.com/ -- https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Imagination-Exploring-Analytical-Psychology/dp/0815378165 -- https://www.amazon.com/Eden-Project-Magical-Psychology-Analysis/dp/0919123805 -- https://www.estherperel.com/blog/letters-from-esther-44-what-does-repair-look-like-in-relationships

Hailed as too normal* to be a lawyer or ... you're like a lawyer, but nice? Meri Althauser is not your typical divorce lawyer. After many years navigating the courtroom drama of litigating high conflict divorce cases, she has turned toward a kinder, more gentle approach to divorce. As a certified mediator and co-parenting specialist she brings over a decade of experience in the Collaborative Law field. Meri will highlight some of the common mistakes she sees couples fall into and how to avoid them. Alternatively, she also provides specific tools for coming out on the brighter side of your settlement. Beyond her work with couples, Meri also provides resilience coaching for lawyers so they can better serve their clients.

In this episode I am going to break down what a Divorce Coach can do for you. In particular, the Good Divorce Journey I lead couples through is unique in the divorce community. I walk couples through a very intentional process from Day of Decision to Day of Dissolution, and beyond. Often the legal system simply works to GET you divorced, with little guidance on how to BE divorced. The marriage may be ending, but the relationship is not. If you share children, you are going to need new tools for your new divorced relationship. This collaborative approach to divorce leads to the best outcomes for the family, in particular the children. Listen in as I walk through this innovative approach to divorce.

Jill Barnett Kaufman has a long history with divorce. Once coming out the other side of her own divorce she began to make a career out of helping others move through divorce without making the same expensive mistakes she did. After years of working as a therapist and parent educator, Jill now devotes her time as a Divorce Coach. The Thriving Through Divorce Program offers support, education and resources to a broad community. Listen as she recounts the awkward celebration of her son's bar mitzvah with her x-husband, while they were in the heat of the divorce process. However, by the time graduation rolled around, years later, they were able to show up unified in celebration of their son. Reminding us that it is never too late to have a good divorce. Jill will also share her best dating advice post-divorce. One surprising twist in her story was when she started dating an old friend from college. Someone, her x-husband also knew from college. As it turns out, they all chose friendship.

This is going to be a valuable conversation, literally. Penny Kidd is not an investor or advisor, she’s a Financial Coach. One of the first things a lawyer is going to ask you to do is lay out all your assets, financial portfolio and do a household budget for your new divorced life. Other than the fact that it is in the middle of a divorce, this is actually a really valuable skill. For most of us, post-divorce life does not look the same as married life in terms of income, spending and saving. The financial pie gets cut up, everyone loses something. In this episode, Penny is going to provide some practical tools when making a spending plan (sounds a lot nicer than budget). She is also going to share some cautionary tales on how to protect your financial health and autonomy. Pennywise Coaching is about helping you connect your Money, Goals, and Values. Create a custom spending plan in business and at home to pay off debt and live within your means so you can build wealth for the future you deserve. Penny Kidd was a Social Worker for 30 years and uses those skills and her debt-free experience to mentor others ready to achieve financial freedom. As a compassionate coach, educator, and accountability partner to individuals and couples, Penny takes the shame and embarrassment out of money.

This episode was inspired by a recent episode of one of my favorite PodCasts - HIDDEN BRAIN. The research being shared was about kindness and how we generally underestimate the impact an act of kindness can have on others. It's not that we go out of our way to be rude, it’s that we don’t go out of our way at all. We hesitate to reach out because we lack confidence, not kindness. So that got me thinking about all the people who are a witness to someone else's divorce and may be feeling uncertain about how to help. This episode is for the friends, families, co-workers and neighbors who want to get it right. For starters, a casserole goes a long way to say, “I’m here for you.”

With over 40 years of practicing family law in the Houston area, we graciously welcome Susan Myres to share her expertise and a look inside the world of divorce from an attorney’s point of view. This week, we will talk with Susan about human behavior behind the relationship along with the unspoken expectations, agreements, and varying perspectives that create tension before the break-up even happens. She will walk us through the five methods of resolution and highlight what couples should consider in their approach. Susan brings both professional expertise to the conversation as well as uplifting stories from past experiences that prove a good divorce is possible. We will even discuss “the great Tupperware fight” – you will not want to miss this episode!

Kyle and Kelly have a long history that goes back to preschool in Illinois. Fate brought them back together in the Rocky Mountain West where they met again 25 years later. Shortly thereafter they discovered they were pregnant. They made every effort to live together and raise their daughter under one roof. However, it became clear that was not going to be the right arrangement for their family. For the past 7 years their daughter Charlotte has lived an abundant and fulfilling life across two homes. Listen as these two creative and comedic parents share their story of transformation as a couple and as a family. Their blended family not only enjoys weekly movie night together, but they have also been known to vacation together. It truly is a love story, no marriage required.

We need to have the hard conversation about having hard conversations. Most of us feel unskilled when faced with disagreement and conflict. Ending any relationship can be a complex mix of grief and relief. Regardless of the outcome, most of us struggle with #1: the decision and #2: the conversation. Together we will identify your decision-making criteria and what stands in the way of taking action. Learning these skills can benefit your personal and professional lives. We will outline an approach that allows for dismissal with dignity at work and graceful endings at home. I will be referencing the wise work of Dr. Henry Cloud and his body of work. Don’t let necessary endings get in the way of your new beginnings.

This is no ordinary divorce story. In fact, it has the makings of an entertaining romantic comedy. In her 20’s Mercedes Barker started a conversation with an intriguing and romantic man in Argentina, a conversation that has been going for more than 40 years. Together Raul and Mercedes have walked a unique path of marriage, parenthood, and divorce. But not in the order you would expect. Over a lifetime they have been co-parents, music partners, neighbors, housemates, caregivers, business partners and the best of friends to each other. Listen as Mercedes describes her musical romance to now long-term partner Tom, and how former husband Raul had a hand in the courtship. This story reminds us that divorce is only one strand in the complex and beautiful tapestry we call family. The story is ours to weave.

Divorce is an unfortunate reality for a staggering number of people every year. Here with common sense suggestions are attorney Jeffrey Stephens and psychologist Dr. Ronald Raymond. Their new book, The Road to Splitsville, is filled with practical information to help readers navigate the legal and emotional aspects of divorce without making themselves crazy, their children miserable or their lawyers rich. Stephens and Raymond have helped guide their fair share of families over their combined nine decades of practice. “We live in a society where the decision to divorce is all too common, and those needing advice about how to get there are many,” Stephens said. “Our intention is to reduce the stress and expense involved in the divorce process by providing insight, support, empathy and the practical information you will need to complete your journey as you find the path to your new life.” www.theroadtosplitsville.com FROM THE AUTHORS: The Road To Splitsville The New book from Authors Jeffrey S. Stephens & Dr. Ronald Raymond How to Navigate the Road to Divorce without Making Yourself Crazy, Your Children Miserable, or Your Lawyer Wealthy…and Then Discover Your Path to Happiness If you are facing divorce, this book will guide you along the legal and emotional journey you will need to follow to end your marriage and find your best life. The meditations, in the book The Road to Splitsville, all three, are designed to help the person or couple going through a divorce to cope with the turmoil that is associated with all stages of divorcing. It is expected that the process of divorcing causes a great deal of stress and the meditations are ways to help a person to escape from the reactions to the stressful situations that are inherent in divorcing. The meditations or they could be called relaxation exercises, are presented by Doris Raymond, who is an American Indian and member of the Choctaw tribe. She has an M.S. in counseling and is a National Certified Counselor an (NBCC), certified in biofeedback and Neurofeedback through the Biofeedback Certification Institute of America. Doris is a nationally known stress management practitioner having run hundreds of group seminars. She has over thirty years of counseling and stress management experience, and has therapeutically treated hundreds of couples with marital conflicts and those going through the divorce process. BUY NOW: www.theroadtosplitsville.com

Matt and Aimee McQuilken were the entrepreneurial business darlings of their community. After 18 years of marriage they were met with the difficult task of unraveling not only their family home, but also business ventures and real estate investments. Their two daughters were teenagers at the time and began life in two homes. Two homes that were just a few blocks apart, which in the end, became a blessing not a burden. Listen as Aimee talks about her fear-based impression of what divorce would mean for her and how that radically changed. Divorce turned into a rich and deepening experience not only for herself but also for she and her daughters.

Two creatives, Erin and Mitch, approached their divorce with compassion, grace and intention. Even their mediator wondered if they should actually get divorced. Listen as they remember announcing their divorce to a group of friends at Mitch’s birthday party and how their two children overruled the standing dog-policy of the family. After years of marriage, and now 8 years post-divorce, they find themselves consistently turning to each other for parenting support and guidance. Most notable, Mitch and Erin have maintained a fluid and supportive approach to their parenting schedule. This interview is filled with heart and wisdom.

Hello listeners! Join me as I riff, rant, and reflect on a few things that can help you in your quest for a Good Divorce. I will also be responding to questions from YOU. What is the best way to introduce and talk about new partners? How can I stop being so triggered by my former spouse? What is it that I need to protect in the divorce process? Remember, it’s never too late to have a good divorce.

Listen to the unique journey of one same sex couple as they navigate the “invisible divorce”. What happens when couples in the LGBTQ community live a married life and then divorce without the guardrails of the law. This week's guest, Lynn Compton, also highlights the importance of community before, during and after the divorce process. This heartwarming story highlights a post-divorce relationship that is supportive, kind and even friendly. It can be done. Listen and learn how these two women followed a path of grace into a new chapter.

Navigating the new dynamics of a blended family can be a rocky road for any family. This week listen to master storyteller and author, Elke Govertsen as she shares her experience as a child of divorce. After spending her early years in Montana, her mother remarried and moved the family to Alaska, with their step-dad. After a rough start the relationship between step-dad and daughter began to bloom into a garden of love and support that has lasted 40 years. Listen as Elke recounts humorous family gatherings and many heartfelt moments shared by her dad and step dad. This family story has a variety of twists and turns that, in the end, all lead to connection, love and support. Her hope-filled story is an important reminder that the road is long and the ending yet unknown.

They shared a business, a recording studio, and a fan base. Virtually every aspect of their personal and professional lives were intertwined. Fans were heartbroken when they heard the news that long-time musical duo Jake and Jeni Fleming were getting divorced. Listen as they reveal the decisions they made that protected their friendship and their ability to continue making music together. This is more than a divorce story, it is also a love story.

This week Karen shares the background to a groundbreaking show. Karen is a relationship and human behavior expert. Her super power is understanding and navigating the dynamics between people (be it personal or professional). For more than 20 years, she has helped people like you find tools, strategies, and a path through even the trickiest of moments. In the Good Divorce Show™, Karen only talks about good examples and how to get there. Divorce doesn’t have to be destructive. Listen as Karen reveals the back story and mission behind what makes a good divorce. It's never too late to have a Good Divorce.