The Good Divorce Show

In this episode I am going to break down what a Divorce Coach can do for you. In particular, the Good Divorce Journey I lead couples through is unique in the divorce community. I walk couples through a very intentional process from Day of Decision to Day of Dissolution, and beyond. Often the legal system simply works to GET you divorced, with little guidance on how to BE divorced. The marriage may be ending, but the relationship is not. If you share children, you are going to need new tools for your new divorced relationship. This collaborative approach to divorce leads to the best outcomes for the family, in particular the children. Listen in as I walk through this innovative approach to divorce.

Your marriage is complete. Now it's time to figure out how to distribute your kids' lives across two homes. This week, Karen gives you tips on the (at least) 6 most important (and often hardest) parts of joint custody, including: how to tailor the kids' housing schedule based on their age, how to stay in touch with your kids when it's not their turn with you, how to make the most of your time when you're home alone, how to plan and track a custody schedule, the most effective ways to communicate with your ex about the kids, and how to design a transition that works best for your kids. You’re still one family; you’re just living in two homes now! Resources: www.TheGoodDivorceCoach.com

You wouldn't remodel your home without having any say in it. So why would you remodel your marriage that way? Ashley Hurlbert and Misty Gaubatz are founders of cooperative family law and co-creators of the Cooperative Divorce, in which neither partner has a lawyer representing them and both have equal say, and agency, in how their marriage ends. But is a Cooperative Divorce possible for you? Where do you begin? How is it different from mediation, or a Collaborative Divorce? Join Karen as she learns about this pioneering new approach to having a good divorce. RESOURCES: https://www.judnichlaw.com/it-doesnt-have-to-be-a-battle/

If you're thinking about or getting divorced, you need to learn how to keep your net worth from getting net worse! Join Karen as she talks with Stacy Francis, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, about the most common money mistakes people make when ending their marriage. In this episode you'll learn: What CFDAs do that other financial experts don't What to look for when seeking a divorce financial analyst What happens if your ex (or you!) tries to hide assets, and how to find out if they are The 4 things to think about when divvying up an asset with your ex What happens if you own a business together (and what counts as a business) Resources: Unveiling the Unspoken Truth - http://francisfinancial.com/ | Savvy Ladies - https://www.savvyladies.org/

What's harder to talk about than divorce? How about ... money? But Karen is here to help, with entrepreneur Jess Baier, creator of the Habit Money app, which helps you be more aware of your spending every day and align your financial habits with your values. Whether you're divorced, divorcing, or partnered up, you'll learn: How to identify and confront your emotional triggers around money The facts about the gender wage gap, what causes it, and how to bridge it for good What fair means during a divorce — and why fair is usually different from equal. 4 keys for having safe conversations with your partner, or ex, about money (hint: They spell SAFE!) 3 things you can do to start on your path to financial stability today! || Resources: Habit Money (app) - https://yourfinancialhabit.com/

Some of the most important financial decisions you ever make are often made when you're most vulnerable, like in the process of divorce. You're experiencing trauma; you don't know where your financial blind spots are; and you don't know what fair means anymore. Luckily, Karen is here to help you save your assets, with the help of Leah Hadley, a nationally recognized financial empowerment expert who specializes in giving personalized financial advice through life transitions. In this episode you'll learn: • How to divorce (if you will) your emotions from your financial decisions • Everything you need to do on Leah's Financial Divorce Checklist before you even call a lawyer • The ins and outs of splitting investments like real estate and retirement accounts • The often overlooked factors that go into calculating a fair settlement • And the most common financial mistakes that people make during divorce || Resources: Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions: https://www.greatlakesdfs.com/

If only there were some kind of handbook for navigating the unique challenges of divorce when you have children! Well, there is! Spend an hour with Karen and Sarah Armstrong—mother, VP of Global Marketing Operations at Google, and author of The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children are Involved—as they discuss the keys to creating a good divorce for your kids. Included in this week's episode: • The benefits of therapy for both parent and child -- • How, when, and where to tell your kids about the divorce -- • How to explain to your kids why you're getting divorced -- • What questions to expect from your kids -- • How to communicate the news to others in your kids' circle — like teachers, grandparents, and parents of friends — clearly and effectively -- • How to equip your kids to move between two homes as easily as possible Resources: The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children are Involved - https://a.co/d/j7mvxQ8

Are you contemplating the Big D(ivorce)? Then you might want to consider what lawyers call the Big C: Collaborative divorce. Karen talks with collaborative divorce lawyer Emily Folio about this emerging new style for approaching the completion of your marriage. Listen in and discover: • The differences between negotiation, mediation, collaborative law, litigation • What makes collaborative divorce different • The details of big C collaboration vs small c collaboration • The one thing to remember when only one partner really wants to collaborate • The myths about what really goes into co-parenting and tips on how to do it right Resources: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/

As a young and naive bride Shelby Humphreys had no way of knowing the marital journey she had chosen would be fraught with so many twists and turns. A strict and cloistered religious community made it all the more difficult to leave her marriage and ultimately the church. In the wake of losing her closest friends and primary support community Shelby began to re-invent and found new love and the rewards of a blended family. However, when her daughter asked to move across state lines to live full-time with her father, she had no idea how hard that sacrifice would be. She also did not anticipate how important that move would be for her daughter’s future happiness. Find Shelby's work here: https://www.missoulasocialmedia.net

It's unavoidably hard on kids when their parents split. But divorce doesn't have to be a source of trauma. Mental health professional and mediator Brandyn Caires is leading the way in teaching couples how to have a kid-centered divorce, using what she and her colleagues call The Parent TEAM Model. Join Karen in learning about: how to help children cope with the completion of a marriage, how to avoid those shadow figures in your life who can make things harder, and the three key elements of a collaborative, kid-centric divorce. Resources: www.ParentTEAM.com, www.mindmattersbrc.com

When Sara Davison was blindsided by a sudden, devastating breakup, she found that there was no blueprint for her recovery. So, she invented one, and today she's the UK's premier divorce coach. Listen in with Karen, as Sara unlocks some of the key tools for helping you fast-track your recovery -- like, effective coping mechanisms, the power of support groups, spotting the signs of a toxic partner, and how to take the lessons from your divorce to design your new, ideal partner! | WEBSITE: www.SaraDavison.com PODCAST: https://heartbreaktohappinesspodcast.com/

When you're going through a divorce, it can feel like your life is ending. But it won't feel that way forever! And Steph Palermo, an intuitive guide, certified catechist, and Infinite Possibilities Trainer, can be your scout to help you find what she calls Your Second Life. Join Karen as Steph shares her colorful, joyful insights into navigating grief, how to heal yourself with extreme self care, and her 4 must-follow rules for dating as you enter your next, best life. | Free eBook! The Only Way Is Up - (copy & paste link into browser or click in Steph's bio!) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZconpgfEfZN5oOVutCau8aGhoM0H6HsC/view

Divorces can be happy! Don't believe it? Meet Stacy and Thomas Jenkins, a happily divorced couple that runs The Happy Divorce Project, an endeavor to change how we do, and think about, divorce, so you can complete your marriage in a place of peace rather than conflict. Listen in as the Jenkinses tell Karen about: --• Where couples most often get it wrong in the divorce process --• How to confront the fear of being alone, so you can delight in your newfound singlehood --• How to become your own best lover --• The three categories of divorce, and how to tell which one yours is --• Three ways to communicate in times of conflict ...--WEBSITE: www.gooddivorceproject.com

One of the newest, and most obscure, aspects of the divorce process is discernment counseling, the process of determining whether your marriage can continue or if it's reached its end. Karen talks to Dr. Don Azevedo about what he's seen as a discernment counselor. Listen and learn about: • The four things that he sees his clients do that tell him the marriage is over -- • The most common mistakes that couples make when deciding to divorce -- • The healthy hallmarks of a collaborative divorce -- • Examples of real-life couples that did divorce right, and how they did it -- WEBSITE: https://www.azevedofamilypsychology.com/ --

One of the biggest myths about divorce is that it can only do harm to the kids of parents who decide to split. Maggie and her daughter Kara know that’s not true, because they're living proof! Join Karen as she learns about how Maggie's decades-old divorce actually fostered the growth of new, bigger, stronger, happier families ... and happier kids.

Relationships are hard; you get that. But why do we MAKE them so hard?! Karen meets with Dr. Sean Fitzpatrick of the Jung Center to map out the pitfalls of romantic relationships that we all fall into and how we can help ourselves out of them. Plus, learn how to navigate the end of a marriage, even when the relationship itself remains, by utilizing compassion and grace to craft a good divorce. . . . LINKS FROM THIS INTERVIEW: -- https://junghouston.org/ -- https://www.sfitzpatrick.com/ -- https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Imagination-Exploring-Analytical-Psychology/dp/0815378165 -- https://www.amazon.com/Eden-Project-Magical-Psychology-Analysis/dp/0919123805 -- https://www.estherperel.com/blog/letters-from-esther-44-what-does-repair-look-like-in-relationships

Hailed as too normal* to be a lawyer or ... you're like a lawyer, but nice? Meri Althauser is not your typical divorce lawyer. After many years navigating the courtroom drama of litigating high conflict divorce cases, she has turned toward a kinder, more gentle approach to divorce. As a certified mediator and co-parenting specialist she brings over a decade of experience in the Collaborative Law field. Meri will highlight some of the common mistakes she sees couples fall into and how to avoid them. Alternatively, she also provides specific tools for coming out on the brighter side of your settlement. Beyond her work with couples, Meri also provides resilience coaching for lawyers so they can better serve their clients.

Jill Barnett Kaufman has a long history with divorce. Once coming out the other side of her own divorce she began to make a career out of helping others move through divorce without making the same expensive mistakes she did. After years of working as a therapist and parent educator, Jill now devotes her time as a Divorce Coach. The Thriving Through Divorce Program offers support, education and resources to a broad community. Listen as she recounts the awkward celebration of her son's bar mitzvah with her x-husband, while they were in the heat of the divorce process. However, by the time graduation rolled around, years later, they were able to show up unified in celebration of their son. Reminding us that it is never too late to have a good divorce. Jill will also share her best dating advice post-divorce. One surprising twist in her story was when she started dating an old friend from college. Someone, her x-husband also knew from college. As it turns out, they all chose friendship.

This is going to be a valuable conversation, literally. Penny Kidd is not an investor or advisor, she’s a Financial Coach. One of the first things a lawyer is going to ask you to do is lay out all your assets, financial portfolio and do a household budget for your new divorced life. Other than the fact that it is in the middle of a divorce, this is actually a really valuable skill. For most of us, post-divorce life does not look the same as married life in terms of income, spending and saving. The financial pie gets cut up, everyone loses something. In this episode, Penny is going to provide some practical tools when making a spending plan (sounds a lot nicer than budget). She is also going to share some cautionary tales on how to protect your financial health and autonomy. Pennywise Coaching is about helping you connect your Money, Goals, and Values. Create a custom spending plan in business and at home to pay off debt and live within your means so you can build wealth for the future you deserve. Penny Kidd was a Social Worker for 30 years and uses those skills and her debt-free experience to mentor others ready to achieve financial freedom. As a compassionate coach, educator, and accountability partner to individuals and couples, Penny takes the shame and embarrassment out of money.

This episode was inspired by a recent episode of one of my favorite PodCasts - HIDDEN BRAIN. The research being shared was about kindness and how we generally underestimate the impact an act of kindness can have on others. It's not that we go out of our way to be rude, it’s that we don’t go out of our way at all. We hesitate to reach out because we lack confidence, not kindness. So that got me thinking about all the people who are a witness to someone else's divorce and may be feeling uncertain about how to help. This episode is for the friends, families, co-workers and neighbors who want to get it right. For starters, a casserole goes a long way to say, “I’m here for you.”