Day 219. When I am alone and the children are with their mother, I risk the potential of giving into my depression. Today was one of those days because it just hit me that I have lost half of the time I would have had being with my children in their early years. That is a lot to lose and isn't fair considering that I was not the one to want to break up our family.
Day 218. The universe continues to lean in my favor, this time making it possible for me to find an excuse not to meet the young lady that I spoke to the night before, which is a relief due to the stress I was feeling about the possibility of hanging out with another woman right now. In addition, in entertainment news, James Gunn -- writer and director of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY -- gets fired for past comments he made, which is timely in my recent concerns about the satirical website I had...
Day 217. I get a get out of jail free card from the guy starting the satirical comedy site, which ends up being a relief for me. I back out of doing a new comedy bit due to annoying circumstances, but was able to watch two other unsure comics grow tonight in their own acts, which makes me happy to see.
Day 216. Some recent comments from people have gotten me wondering if the change in my physical fitness could end up typecasting me as someone who is not hilarious and funny. Although there are examples of comedians and comedic actors who are not overweight and miserable, the number of those is minute and could pose a challenge for me.
Day 215. A meme on my Facebook feed makes me ponder the nuances of dating in your 40s. The dynamics that you have to work around with people your age who have children and other complications that makes dating more difficult than what it was 20s years ago.
Day 214. I consider how serious you have to be to break into comedy and reflect on the fact that some people do not realize how serious it is and will use the open mic space for their own entertainment, which is considered disrespectful in the comedy circuit.
Day 213. My son calls me from his mother's, upset about the rules that he has to follow under my ex's fiance's roof. I do my best to show my son that I recognize his feelings but also to respect the rules that he has to follow when he is with his mother, even when they do not align with how we do things in my home.
Day 212. I wrap up my vacation week with the inevitable lecture talk from my brother. This time, he focuses on my divorce and things I did wrong leading up to my marriage. All of which I am fully aware of and was in no mood to have those old wounds opened again.
Day 211. A suggestion from a friend regarding an interested party who happens to be Atheist makes me consider what it would be like to date someone who does not share the same religion as I, and whether or not it is even possible.
Day 210. I am having difficulty with the idea of having to one day talk to my children about relationships when I, myself, am now against having relationships. But in order to allow them to have healthy relationships of their own, I have to overcome my own biases before I can have "the talk" with them.
Day 209. An interesting quandary popped into my head: if given the chance, would I change my views on dating if the person I could date were a celebrity? Not that this would ever be the case but hypothetically speaking, I decide that if given the chance, I would have to give it a hard pass.
Day 207. Traveling with children can be difficult but one thing I learned today was that it wasn't difficult is being able to travel without missing my wife. In fact, I didn't once think about her today, which is strange because this time last year, we took this very same trip as a married couple, so you would think the memory of this would make me miss her, but alas, I did not.
Day 205.B. My rise to popularity in the local comedy scene is moving fast and I have already been invited to join some of the veteran comics for a entertainment website project they would like to start. I am genuinely excited by the prospects of doing comedy content for them and this project but the subject matter has me concerned how it could affect possible future career choices for myself.
Day 205. I continue my analysis of the Bible and how I believe it should be used in today's modern climate. This episode explores how I believe the New Testament was intended to override the inconsistencies and issues with the old law against the nature of human beings. The New Testament is a divine addendum to God's Law which He realize would be impossible for the humans that He created to follow. Jesus Christ didn't just die on the cross for our sins, but his sacrifice was also ushering...
Day 204. As I begin preparing for my upcoming vacation with my kids, I have time to ponder my thoughts on what the Bible actually means in today's climate and formulate a new idea as to why there is an Old Testament and a New Testament. Part 1 of 2, I speak to the Old Testament and why God decided it needed to come to an end to make room for a New Testament.
Day 203. Comics are notorious for inadvertently offending people and having to apologize when they do. I seem to already am building that reputation for myself as an aspiring comic but have decided that only the rarest of circumstances will get an apology out of me. On the most part, if you simply have a different opinion about a subject, that's not enough to warrant an apology.
Day 202. Amidst all of the firecrackers outside, I am reminded of a not so great memory of dating from before my marriage and the continued engagement with this person today really brings it home that I don't ever want to be in the position again where any of my decisions in life has to include one other to be on board with those life decisions.
Day 201. A quiet day can be ruined by people being annoying. I learn from my five year old daughter that her mother has been telling her something that her mother and I had previously agreed we would never tell our children, then I am later bombarded with a whole slew of unwarranted advice from a family member about how to be a comedian.