Day 191. I suddenly realize today that things that were once drastic changes in my life has become normalized. In a way that indicates that I should be closer to a regular life again, without outrageous surprises and unexpected drama, and am happy about the prospect of all this change soon becoming "normal".
Day 190. An important learning for me that my ex could never fully grasp is the fact that in reality, even when I feel like no one notices me or cares to pay attention to me, people DO notice me and do catalog what they see about me.
Day 189. Another night at the comedy club. Tonight a fight almost breaks out and I get a public offer for a one-night stand. Plus, a really ridiculous comedy bit I wrote that I decided was too ridiculous to use onstage tonight, so instead, I am sharing it here.
Day 188. Chris Pratt's acceptance speech at the MTV TV & Movie Awards reminds me of my approach to preaching the Gospel. The very approach that sparked my Lost Soulmate's criticism towards my conviction as a Christian, and what led to the demise of our relationship.
Day 187. I take my son into the doctor's to be examined regarding his allergies. I am accepting of the doctor's diagnosis but when I text the details to my ex, her response is less than desirable and brings back old feelings of her undermining my decisions in parenting.
Day 186. A short stroll down memory lane, remembering one of the better times during my marriage, the time when I was able to see "Weird Al" Yankovic in concert for the first time through a special birthday present for my son. Little did we know that efforts to make this a special birthday event for him would result in a surprise gift from Weird Al himself.
Day 185. It was a good Father's Day but as with all of these holidays these days, you will see a comment of two that starts to make you feel guilty about celebrating. But the question is, should you feel guilty? Or should those who are sensitive to certain subject matters try to cope without making others feel like they should share in your grief?
Day 183. Rarely do we ever get to "be in that position" where we say we would have done something differently than those who did it in a way we disagree with. In my case, within the past month up until even now, I have had multiple instances where attractive married women put out their feelers for me and I have remembered what doucheboy did to my marriage and use that to remind me how not to behave in these instances.
Day 182. Another unnecessary judgmental comment from one of my "friends" has me thinking about the intentions behind those who are always pushing their victim status in society and decide that she (and others) just wants the attention that a middle-class white girl never gets.
Day 181. My observations of other divorced men who have difficulty in even getting women to talk to them inspired me to make a list of things that I noticed that they do vs. things that I have learned to change about myself over the past couple of decades. And even though I am currently not looking to be with anyone, I have found that my current display of self-confidence has gotten me much more attention from the opposite sex than I had ever experienced before I got married 15 years ago.
Day 180. I have decided that most people get married for the wrong reason and because that won't change anytime soon, I have decided to encourage people who are "in love" NOT to get married, so as to save that love from going through the pains of a divorce because it will be inevitable if you get married because you are in love.
Day 179. Brainstorming ideas for my next comedy set, I remember details about the first time I had sex and how incredibly awkward the experience was. But fortunately, I overcame the experience and had a very fulfilling sex life (if not a weird one) with my first girlfriend.
Day 178. When you can truly understand how someone is feeling in a situation, it may give you direction on how you can do something to help that person. Or it may give you ample warning to avoid that person, which has been the case for me with a few other single divorced fathers who have tried to convince me to spend time with them.
Day 177. Outside of the experience of being an extra on a television series set, I also got to meet some new people and had pleasant conversations with them. Among the conversations, the two subjects that stood out the most for me was a dialogue I had with a young man who was torn about his current girlfriend situation, in which I discouraged him from getting married, and the other was a series of exchanges with a mid 20 year old girl that has me assessing what my own personal perspective...
Day 176. I first experience as a television/film extra was a lot of fun. I got to see firsthand how the industry works behind the scenes and met a lot of really nice peers who, in a way, became like family through this 10 hour adventure.
Day 175. I learn tonight that there is a benefit in being a one-liner spouting comedian in the world of the open mic where you never really know how many minutes you get before the moderator will want you off stage. In addition, due to a recording mishap, I simply recite my set for the night sans a strict time limit so you can get the full effect of how the set would have played out had I not had to cut the live performance down to accommodate a shorter stage time limit.
Day 174. In an attempt to "help" me, a couple of peers gives me information that I either did not need or did not care to be informed of. I understand the intentions were well meaning but believe we all need to be more considerate when trying to show empathy.
Day 173. My life philosophy of letting the powers that be guide my journey and simply trusting what is best for me will come around on its own has served me well, and even today, without even asking for it, life offered me a chance at an opportunity I had always wanted to do, but had dismissed because I had no idea how to go about doing it.