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Episode 34: Marsdew Valley: Mars Needs Farmers

You guys know how when you watch a cartoon, you get this nagging voice in your head that says "But it should look more real!" Well our buddy Robbie Zemeckis has a solution for you, and he made a whole bunch of motion-capture animated movies for you to enjoy, you psychopath! Unfortunately, at least one of those movies was bad, 2011's Mars Needs Moms. So we fixed it up this week and finally granted Phil's wish for a Stardew Valley movie by smashing it up into Marsdew Valley: Mars Needs Farmers...


Episode 33: Boobley of the Dead: The Crooping Tomb

HELL-oooooooo, boys and SPOOPS! Welcome to Devil's Night's Eve and the end to the Month of Spoops! We spooped ourselves again this week. With the amount of nonsense in our movie, Leprechaun 4: In Space, you'd think we would've come up with a whole bunch of wacky ideas, but nope! So we let a neural network make a title for us and came out with Boobley of the Dead: The Crooping Tomb! Because we're really trying to push our SEO to it's limits Also, we fix the trailers for Haunting of...


Episode 32: Take My Knife, Please!

oooOOOooOOooOOooh! Hey, did you guys know it was the Spoop Month? We did by this week so we fixed a real spooky-dookie fest -- on Phil's birthday, even! We watched Wes Craven's My Soul To Take, a not-so-terrifying tale of some stuff that happened, and we took out all the nonsensical plot twists and bashed it up into a good picture about a spooky haunted knife who possesses folks called Take My Knife, Please! Did I mention it was Phil's birthday?! Also we fixed the trailers for Escape Room...


Episode 31: A Ghost Rider Elements Story: Hog Fighter (Origins)

Hello, Movie Improvers! We're back after a break while James tried to save our last recording from the dumpster fire and failed and had to go to the trash hospital to recover from his trash burns. But we came screeching back into familiar territory this week with the Nic Cage superhero flick Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. This movie, while a delight for the comedy stylings of Mr. Cage's very sincere performance, was pretty bad. So we gave the lonely Ghost Rider some friends to hang with...


Episode 30: Lil' John's Big Rock-Hard Cowboy Adventure

This week we're here to party like its 1499, cause we are repairing the criminally boring conspiracy thriller and Tom Hanks wig mistake known as The Da Vinici Code. Through the mysterious power of Cryptogeology, we transformed this airport bookstore potboiler into the erotic western masterpiece Lil' Jon's Big Rock-Hard Cowboy Adventure, staring Jamie Foxx, Ronke Adekoluejo, and T.I. We also repaired the trailers for Alright Now and Another Time.


Episode 29: The Crow (Dog): Down With The Clown

Hello people it is your friends Bill and John here this week OH WAIT! Did we fool you with our slick textual disguise?? No? Well then we're on par with the title character of our movie this week, Val Kilmer's The Saint. In it, a spy man who steals important things puts on disguises that are 100% greasy wigs and jewelry, and 0% convincing at all, so we, Phil and James, who we actually are, threw all that out the window and actually just made a The Crow movie about a spooky Borzoi pupper...


Episode 28: H.A.R.D.D. Scrabble's Magic Scramble

Beep boop bloop, folks! We're back in the game zone this week, as we sat down to watch the nonsensical cyberpunk adaptation of everyone's favorite plumbing simulator, 1993's Super Mario Bros., starring Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo. Although this movie had not one idea about anything, we had plenty of ideas for how to Improvie it, and we ended up going with a story about an ancient wacky wizard unlocked from a slumber in a Blade Runner-esque future, and we called it H.A.R.D.D. Scrabble's...


Episode 27: Space Wolf: Too Many Moons

Welp gang it happened again. We watched Dracula 3000, a movie that wasn't just bad, it was super duper racist and sexist also. So we just launched that trash fire right out the space airlock and reconstructed a brand new movie in it's place: Space Wolf: Too Many Moons, the tragic story of a werewolf astronaut who keeps murdering her crew because of all those moons up in space, starring Uzo Aduba. We also fixed the trailers for A Wizard's Tale and Aquaman


Episode 26: Popeye's Without A Face

We finally done did it, gang. Despite Mae's off-mic protests that it's perfect and doesn't need to change at all, Phil and James sat down to fix the infamous 90-minute McDonald's commercial Mac and Me, and y'know the whole McDonaldsyness of it got us thinking about hey what if other fast food folks had their own movies? So we honored the great Dal Popehands and his classic fast food chain Popeye's Chicken, by making a movie where he's played by Jeff Goldblum as a mad scientist who puts...


Episode 25: One Big Job

They say that one man's trash is another man's treasure, and this week we've transformed Roland Emmerich's trash movie Godzilla (1998) into the beautiful treasure kaiju heist flick One Big Job, staring Melissa McCarthy, Sam Neil, and David Spade. We also fixed the trailers for Christopher Robin and Urban Country and dive into Jame's strange and elaborate hoagie addiction.


Episode 24: The Greatest Penetration

Guys, sometimes it's hard fixin' movies. Cuz how do you fix a movie whose only real crime is its intense and revolting homophobia? We sat down to watch Wild Hogs this week, with John Travolta and Tim Allen, expecting a return to normalcy after the heights of lunacy that were Digimon and Highlander, and instead we got a bunch of old straight white men getting offended that some folks might think for one single second that they're gay. So we just took all those nasty boys right out of there...


Episode 23: Anamon: Analog Monsters

Welp. It happened. We broke ourselves. In hindsight, it would've been smart to take a break from madness after the incomprehensibility of Highlander 2, but nope! We doubled down into the insanity by watching Digimon The Movie, an utter mess of a film, made up of the scraps and bits of three shorter films that madmen Frankenstein's Monster-ed together. In this movie, we saw the beginning and end of time, our own deaths, and also a bunch of really really awful "jokes," so all of our ideas this...


Episode 22: God's Not Dead 2bular

Oh jeez gang, we tackled a doozy this week, and it might've gotten the better of us. Phil and James took a gander at [one of the four versions of] Highlander 2, a universally despised, 0% Rotten Tomatoes score-having, piece of trash of a movie, and it made exactly as much sense as we predicted: none at all. As a result, that lack of sense permeated all of our ideas for it too, and not one of them was a workable film. So, again this week, we instead took our idea from a trailer, for Kevin...


Episode 21: John Tyler: Goblin Helper

Daaa daa da daaaa da da da da da da daaaaa daaaa! Hm, what's that? You can't hear the pitch I hear in my head for those da da da's? Well guess what, they were the President Theme Song, because we're getting aaaallllll kinds of presidential this week while we fix James' most favoritest awful film, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. James brought some good ideas to the table this week, but Phil brought... THE CREATION. A magical device that just spits out titles for some wonderful president...


Episode 20: Fuckenskylar

Guys, let's rap. Sometimes we fix movies here that are just giant lit on fire trash piles and we gotta put out the fire and dig out the gold bars buried under the trash, with our bare hands. Other times, we fix a movie that's maybe just got a little bit of shit on it's face, and that's the case here cuz we fixed Monkeybone, a very very almost-good movie with Brendan Fraser, Bridget Fonda, and Chris Kattan. But with help from our special guest, Executive Producer Maegan Stressman, your Movie...


Episode 19: Across the Plate

Hoo boy gang, we're gettin' UNPRECEDENTED this week! James and Phil sat down to try to fix The Avengers this time. Not the one with the superfolks that you know and love, but the British-type spy flick from 1998 that no one remembers or cares about or knows. And man-o-peets, this movie was so bad that for the first time in our history, we decided to just throw it and all our ideas for it right into the garbage. Instead, we decided to take one of our movie trailers, for the movie Benched, and...


Episode 18: Dr. Demon, Medical: Demon

Hey guys we said the name Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson too many times in the last episode, and like the spoopy lady in the mirror, we summoned D"TR"J's scariest apparition: his terrible bad 2005 video game movie, Doom. This bad movie about alien jeans and the scary monsters in someone's basement on Mars sure did suck, but we retooled it into the far superior Satan party movie Dr. Demon, Medical: Demon starring Rosamund Pike, Cate Blanchett, Margot Robbie, and Mike Myers. We also fix the...


Episode 17: 4 Animalz 4 Reel

Hey guys, y'know why we put these episodes out on Tuesday? Because no reason, it was arbitrary. But if we were a big fat orange monster cat, we might say it's because we hate Mondays! That's the level of humor we're bringing to this episode, as your Improvie Team fixes 2004's Garfield, starring Bill Murray and Jamie Kennedy Or Breckin Meyer Or Someone Like That. We took an insufferably dull movie about the famous CGI orange cat, and made it into a movie about a bunch of real life animals who...


Episode 16: Spell Trek: The Next Jammeration

Hey guys this time we go all bold-like to some places that no folks ain't ever been to! Meaning, we fixed a Star Trek movie! Specifically, we fixed the most old-guys-climbing-ladders-centric Star Trek movie, Star Trek Generations, and because Phil and James REALLY want you to know what nerds they are, we slapped a Dungeons and Dragons campaign on top of it and made Spell Trek: The Next Jammeration, so get ready for lots of talk about classes and alignments for all your favorite Trek types,...


Episode 15: Stop, Or My Mom Will Darkhawk!

Hey hey hey peebles! Continuing our long standing trend from last week, we watched another bad late-90s superhero movie, only this time it was the beautiful horse-boy Billy Zane in The Phantom. While this movie did have a very pretty Billy Zane in it, it was also totes boring, so we bashed it and crashed it until it became Stop, Or My Mom Will Darkhawk, a mom-based superhero romp starring Maya Rudolph, Dylan Minnette, and Aidan Gillen, where a mom of a superhero--*record scratch*-- becomes...