Ask Kati Anything

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 211, licensed therapist Kati Morton let’s us know if there is anything we do that makes people think they can trauma dump on us, why we can feel at our worst in the evenings, and her thoughts and experiences with internal family systems therapy. She also tells us how to get out of a depressive episode, how to deal with codependency in friendships, and how we can actually feel our feelings. audience questions: 1. I'd like to ask if there is anything I do that makes people think they can trauma dump on me. I grew up as my parent's therapist and feel like my friends do the same thing. Also no one ever seems to care about how I am. I've been depressed and struggling with passive suicidal ideation and Eating disorders. I'm obviously tired and struggling but no one bothers to ask about me and what is going on. Am I doing something wrong and what can I do? 00:47 2. Why is it that someone who has experienced trauma, aka me, might continue to feel overwhelmed by the emotions of it all when alone in the evenings, even when there is no threat or trigger that I can find? I normally distract myself a lot, but I then just end up not dealing with anything- I’m either all or nothing. (Ps: Due to circumstances I’m currently not having sessions with my counselor). Sorry, I hope this makes sense. 09:23 25 Coping Skills 14:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4LQ2rxVa0&pp=ygUca2F0aSBtb3J0b24gMjUgY29waW5nIHNraWxscw%3D%3D 3. I know you mentioned before that you were starting your own IFS work, and I was wondering your thoughts on it so far? (if you're ok with sharing!) I started with my therapist about 2 months ago, and I really struggle to take it seriously and let go enough for it to be effective. I can't seem to imagine the different versions of me, and the talking to little me part seems so juvenile and awkward that I feel like I don't take it seriously and it isn't really effective. The catch is, I'm people-pleasing my way through it. I'm just playing along with what my therapist says, and I feel like I'm gaslighting her into believing it's helping. I feel like my issue is that I just can't let go and actually let it actually help because I feel so silly. Just wondering if you ever ran into this, or if you had any suggestions on navigating this because I truly want it to work! Thanks for all you do, you rock! 14:53 PARTS WORK IN THERAPY 15:07 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gymev70IGiI 4. Do you know what I can do to get out of a depressive episode or at least make sure it doesn't happen at certain times? This may sound very stupid and maybe there is nothing i can do. I have struggled with these episodes for almost a year now, but only in the last few months they have become so recent that they scare me. I have more lows than good times and even in my good times a tiny thing can disrupt me and send me straight back to my low... 24:35 5. Hi Kati. I was wondering if you would talk about codependency within friendships. 32:23 Kati's inner-child workshop 39:40 https://katimorton.com/the-shop 6. Everyone keeps telling me it’s important to ‘feel my feelings’ and acknowledge my grief (I had an accident so grieving the life I won’t have now) but I don’t understand how to or what that really means. Could you explain how I can try to move on with my life and... 40:31 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized Are u ok? A great way to support my channel is to visit our sponsors by using these links: Amazon Instacart ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X TikTok Facebook Instagram Pinterest Patreon PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how we can discover our true self, if CPTSD is a lifelong struggle, and why we can want our therapist to worry about us. She also talks about whether or not we can develop an addiction to psychotherapy and why being pampered as a child can cause us to feel helpless a lot. Finally, she helps us figure out how to support people with dependent personality disorder without enabling them. 01:05 Ask Kati Anything ep.210 podcast summary 01:42 How can you discover your true self? In my last therapy session, we discovered just how much I get my self-worth, and feelings of love and appreciation, from helping others. Helping around the house, overworking, generally never sitting down to enjoy my own time. I'm now at the point that I don't know who I am or what I like. How do you start to figure out your true self? 08:38 My question is, with medication, therapy twice a week, and EMDR, will you continue to have C-PTSD symptoms for the rest of your life? Does it ever get to a point where you completely resolve most, if not all, of your symptoms and not require therapy and medication, or, is this a life sentence? 13:02 I want my therapist to worry about me. I wish I could tell her this straight up. But if I do, she'll stop worrying about me. It's like.... Love (I guess?) I've never received and to be honest... I enjoy it. But. There's a huge "BUT." Me making her more and more worried to her as a therapist essentially means that therapy she's providing is not working, right? And that she can and actually should terminate me. Right?!? Which is my biggest worry. That she's gonna leave me. And then my little mind comes up with "Whatever, I'm unlovable anyways so it's fine. I'd leave me too if I was her. I'm not worthy of love. I'm just a pain in the ass and she puts up with me only because I pay her." And then there comes a point where I want to push her away because I've come up with "she doesn't love me so there's no point to get sicker", which to her probably seems like I'm getting better. And. Then she wants (actually suggests but in my mind it translates to "wants") to reduce our sessions from twice a week to only once. And to me it means that she's actually gonna leave because I'm worrying her less. Not more. Such a great mind fuckery. Sorry. It is though. And then I want to get sicker again. Oh. I have anorexia. I don't think I mentioned it anywhere. Is there a way to stop this? 19:57 Is it possible to develop an addiction to psychotherapy? I think I might have it, because I don't have any other safe places where I can express my emotions, or be me. Unfortunately, despite my efforts, it's not always possible to live in a happy environment, or leave it. 25:10 Could you please talk about learned helplessness due to having been spoiled and pampered as a child? I can't get myself to be active and struggle to feel responsible for my own life. 30:16 Could you talk about how family members can love and support people with dependent personality disorder without enabling them? Where is the line from support to enabling?? PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy A great way to support my channel is to check out our sponsors buy using these links: Amazon: https://geni.us/4J8wb Instacart: https://instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Support on Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this...

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why a therapist won’t just tell you what you want to hear, and how to get over the feeling that they are only being kind because you are paying them. She also talks about inner child work and why it can be so tough to do, what to do if therapy isn’t helping and we feel worse, and some tips for emotion regulation. Finally, she tells us what to do if we are assaulted by our therapist, and whether or not we play a role in our own suffering. 00:44 How do I believe the things my therapist says and not just think she is saying them because I am paying her? I’ve been in therapy over two years and I’m just now discussing CSA with her. I find myself doubting everything she says when she gives me validation, like she’s just saying what I wanna hear and not really being honest. I want to receive everything she says. How do I get past this? 06:08 Hi Kati, Love your channel and both of your books! I'm wondering why I'm having such a hard time connecting to my inner child? I have some childhood trauma I'm working on in therapy, but I can't seem to do the inner child work. I don't really like my inner child, she's vulnerable. Do you have any tips to help overcome this hurdle? Thank you for all that you do! 15:31 I've been in therapy for almost two years now, and I feel like my problems have just been getting worse. No matter what I try to do, my mental health either stays the same or doesn't get any better. I'm having a hard time figuring out if it might just be because I'm scared to get better. I know that you might suggest finding another therapist, but the problem is that for some reason I'm extremely attached to my therapist and I'm not sure if I would be able to function without her in my life. My entire existence relies on her presence at the moment, and I feel like therapy is... 21:47 What techniques are available to help you get through significant emotional dysregulation short term (the next few hours)? I find the whole ‘opening up’ in therapy very emotionally difficult, so I write out what I need to say between the sessions, leading to an escalating emotional state prior to each session …. Unfortunately, I had to cancel a session … I didn’t react well. (I was very surprised how difficult I found it). I became very dysregulated and spent half a day with significant dissociation that I couldn’t “coping skill” my way out of. Do you have any tips for how to handle in the short term, having an ‘event’ that is a particular stressor, when the coping skills are not enough? 27:18 Do you have any advice about dealing with being assaulted by a therapist in session? So I developed an ED in college as my depression and anxiety worsened along with it. I worked up the courage to go to the college provided counselor, but because of the program's limitations and understaffing the only available one was a male. I find much more comfort with women so I really didn't want to but... 33:29 I recently read a quote saying, "healing also means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering." Can you please explain this to me? --------- PUBLISHED BOOKS ⁠Traumatized⁠ Are u ok?⁠ The best way to support this channel is to check out my sponsors and buy using these links: Amazon Instacart ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X TikTok Facebook Instagram Pinterest Patreon PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

On Ask Kati Anything podcast ep. 208, licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how we can get past the feeling that our relationship with our therapist is “fake,” how to support our students without being triggered ourselves, and how to know if we are retraumatizing ourselves. She then explains how we can know if we are a narcissist, what it means to process our emotions, and what we can do if we are ashamed of our life. Audience questions: 1. How do I get past the feeling that the relationship with my therapist is “fake”? I have heard you say that you should feel ‘validated’ and ‘seen’ by your therapist, but I can’t get past the fact that the only reason she is talking to me is because I am paying her. Maybe this is my ‘child of emotional neglect’ talking, but the idea that anyone is interested in helping me is very alien but that doesn’t change the fact that my therapist isn’t my friend, never will be, and wouldn’t choose to talk to me if I didn’t hand over a lot of money. What am I missing? 01:11 2. I work at a school as a teacher and I also work for the before and after program. I do a lot at the school. I work with a lot of different types of students. When I was a little kid I had a lot of trauma. When any kid comes to school with a bruise I think the worse. Sometimes it’s hard for me to see the kiddos cry. Some of the kids do come from rough backgrounds. They tell me things like no one loves me and cares about me. I try my best to let them know I care without crossing the student teacher boundaries. When I get home I just cry because I feel so little all over again. Because I know how they feel. My question is how do I show my students that I care without emotionally hurting myself or triggering myself. 12:26 11:01 ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP 3. How do I know if I am retraumatizing myself? (As an add-on comment: my ED was related to trauma. I worked and thought I did overcome the problem with eating. When my eating disorder suddenly came back, I wondered if this could be a sign of being retraumatized? 20:26 4. How do I know if I am narcissistic? And what is real empathy? 25:17 5. I have a question about processing emotions, feeling them and moving through them. How much is too much, and how much is not enough? And mainly, how does this change when it comes to processing something big like grief? I lost two people very close to me recently. I always try to stuff down emotions and don’t want to feel them, so I’m trying really hard to notice and feel them with this because I know it’s healthy and I need to. Sometimes it’s constant and it’s wayyy too much for me to handle and sometimes it’s nothing. What’s a healthy amount of emotion? 27:58 Hi Kati, what can I do if I feel ashamed of my life? Ashamed of what happened to me, ashamed of how much it affects me today and how little the events really were... I'm so desperate about everything that isn't working anymore and everything I would so deeply wish but can't do anymore.... And the pressure from others that I should functionate again is immense. How can I come out of this "being ashamed of my life"? 38:55 My books: Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online therapy: While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS Instacart: https://instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB Amazon: https://geni.us/4J8wb Partnerships: Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Please read: If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

On Ask Kati Anything episode 207, licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses eating disorder recovery and why it can be hard for us to let go of it completely. She also explains why we can have romantic feelings for our therapist, and if we should tell them about it. Then she gets into how we can ask our parents to get us in to see a therapist, how to return to regular exercise after ED recovery, and how to tell people about our upsets without oversharing. Finally, Kati digs into self-deprecating thoughts and how to get out of that cycle. Questions: 00:53 Q1 - I’m currently going through ED recovery and am having a hard time parting with it, because many of the behaviors (healthy eating and exercise) almost feel part of my identity. I feel like I... 19:12 Q2 - Should I tell my therapist about the romantic feelings and thoughts I have for her? If so, how should I broach this topic, and is she likely to terminate me? 19:30 What is Transference In Therapy? (video mentioned by Kati) 24:18 Q3 - ....please could you give me some advice on how I could let my parents know about all this without it being overwhelming or receiving negative responses as I am only 14 so I can’t really leave. Also when is it bad enough to ask for something like therapy... 30:55 Q4 - How do I get back to normal after ED regarding physical activity? What does a healthy active lifestyle look like without overdoing it? 34:48 Q5 - I have a question about sharing our internal upsets with relatives. I catch myself lying about how I’m doing for fear of oversharing. I don’t want to freak the other person out, burden them with my issues, or leave them feeling guilty for... 41:48 Q6 - I constantly am having self deprecating thoughts and sometimes can't even tell my own feelings in a moment. I have a mother who is constantly talking down to me, always getting mad at me about little things, and always has to yell at me about something. I mentioned that I think I might be dealing with emotional abuse to my therapist, and she agreed and said she thinks I am as well. She told me that if I wanted to try and better the relationship I have with my mom she'd help me. But, it seems that as time has gone on the way my mom talks to me and treats me has gotten worse, and it feels like it'll never get better. I'm not sure what to do, and it feels like I'm stuck. My therapist wanted me to use... MY BOOKS Traumatized Are u ok? My affiliate links (shop with them to help the podcast) ⁠Instacart⁠ https://instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB ⁠Amazon⁠ https://geni.us/4J8wb ONLINE THERAPY | While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon | https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Partnerships Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week on Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses the line between normal sibling relationships and emotional abuse, shutting down in therapy, and how to know if we are oversharing. She explains how mental illnesses can sometimes follow patterns in their symptomatology, why we can struggle with self care, and our urge to diffuse situations with laughter. Questions & timestamps: 1. Where is the line between normal sibling relationships and emotional abuse? My therapist seems to think my sister is emotionally abusive, but aren’t all siblings aholes to each other? 00:36 2. My question is about shutting down in therapy and being unable to talk during a therapy session. Recently I have been looking for a new therapist, but I haven't been able to find someone that I'm comfortable with. The problem is that in the first 1-2 sessions I shut down and feel unable to talk. Different therapists handle this differently, but for the most part they just let me sit there. I have spent entire sessions in shut down mode and we just sit there doing nothing.... 05:41 3. I'm wondering if you can talk a bit about "oversharing". I feel like it's a relatively-new term to me, and I'm wondering how to tell if someone is doing it. Is it OK to have some people we tell literally EVERYTHING to, even when it's TMI? Or are there some things that should always be private? In cases where we've... 15:03 4. Why is it the case that mental illnesses "follow patterns"? In the sense that they can be categorized into illnesses. Like why is it "natural" to get addicted or get an ED when something is missing in life. Why are these patterns natural consequences that happen for so many people even if one does not know of the existence of these illnesses?" 25:19 5. My question is why do I have trouble engaging in self care and having a hard time finding coping skills that work for me? I have things that I have enjoyed doing in the past but just can't seem to do any of them. Can I count tv watching and internet scrolling self care? I know I need some coping skills if I want to deal with childhood trauma (not sure I want to go there). Can coping skills also be self care and vice versa? 30:50 6. I'm an awkward laugher. My way of diffusing situations used to be to make them lighthearted- that was literally my role. It's so ingrained into me now, that it's just instinctively what I go to, even when it's really not appropriate. I feel like I've also used it so much in every part of my life, that I don't really feel anything. Everything is just... a big joke? I feel like I physically can't even stop it now. I don't even know where to begin in correcting this, or if it's even fixable now so any tips would be appreciated! 36:18 -------- MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠PATREON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why it can feel so bad when our therapist is proud of us, how we can end therapy when we have attachment issues, and how therapists alter their treatment depending on our diagnoses. She then talks about why an eating disorder often comes with a food obsession, what we can do when we are terrified of people not liking us, and finally, she walks us through what to do with our complicated feelings towards an abusive parent. Questions & timestamps ______________ MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠PATREON⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton explains the difference between depression and general disappointment. She also gives us options for ways to reward ourselves that don’t involve food or spending a lot of money, and discusses the reasons we may feel too broken for therapy. Then she offers some ways people pleasers can do the necessary things that will end up hurting someone’s feelings, and the difference between rumination and healthy processing. Finally, she explains what fear of rejection is and how it differs from fear of abandonment. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. My question is about distinguishing between depression (or another mental disorder) and general disappointment or dissatisfaction with life. What would you say to someone who was not feeling happy about being alive but also not necessarily depressed or mentally ill? What if you just feel you don't like life and you don't particularly enjoy it? What if your dissatisfaction with life is just a combination of your personality, your resilience and... 2. How can I reward myself? I had an eating disorder and I feel like I am shopping too much. How can I reward myself without subconsciously supporting old behavior? 3. I feel like I’m too broken for therapy. I have a fear of abandonment and I think it makes therapy really hard for me. I find it so hard to actually get help because I’m so afraid of losing my therapist. I don’t want to open up and get attached because I know it’s not forever. And the more I share the more afraid I am that she is going to leave me. I can’t stop thinking about... 4. Do you have any tips for people pleasers who are struggling to do things that are necessary but will upset other people? Like breaking up with someone you’re dating when you can tell it isn’t working out or setting boundaries with a friend you care about but who is taking advantage of your willingness to help? 5. Could you talk about the difference between healthy emotional processing vs rumination? 6. Hey Kati, can you explain the fear of rejection vs fear of abandonment. I feel like a lot of people think it’s the same. I have CPTSD. I don’t fear abandonment. I actually expect it... ______________ MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠PATREON⁠⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton answers audience questions about when and why we would need to reach out to our therapist in between sessions, whether or not therapists judge our “crazy” thoughts, and the difference between fidgeting and self injury. She then talks about dissociation, the different diagnoses and symptoms, and how to work through it. Finally, she discusses why it can be hard for us to get away from our abusers, and some nice ways of telling people we can’t be there for them right now. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. Hi Kati! My therapist always says that I can reach out to her any time that I’m in crisis. I never do even when I’m feeling really down, anxious, and/or dysregulated because I’m not and have never had suicidal or self-harming behaviors. But I’ve gone through some really tough emotions and thoughts when I wanted to reach out. What does it mean to be “in crisis” and when is it appropriate to reach out to your therapist outside of your sessions? 2. What goes on in a therapists head when their client is saying something that the therapist thinks is “crazy”? Does the therapist ever have a hard time not judging or showing judgment to their client by accident? Thanks for all you do and the time and effort you put in every week! 3. My question is about anxiety fidgeting and self injury. In my therapy sessions, especially if we are talking about a hard topic, I tend to pinch and scratch my hands, to the point where I leave with red marks and sometimes bruises on them. I don’t realize I’m doing it because I’m so focused on the topic at hand and explaining my thoughts clearly to my therapist. Is this just anxiety? Or is this self injury? Either way I don’t know if it’s bad or typical or just plain fidgeting. Thanks for everything! 4. I dissociate a lot. Sometimes I do things that I have no memory of. Thankfully, nothing bad. A lot of times when I dissociate I become a little girl. She emails my therapist, colors Winnie the Pooh pictures for her. Sometimes I am like a very angry teenager. I don’t have DID that we know of, but something is happening. There are also times that I feel as if I’m not really me being a mom to my kids, but I cover it so well that they... 5. I hope you don't mind me asking this question again as it didn't get picked the last time. Why is it so hard to walk away from your abusers? In my case it is moving out from home. (I'm in my early twenties). 6. I’m the friend that people tend to come to when they need to vent. All of my friends and family know if they need someone I’ll be there! Sometimes though I get overwhelmed with that. Is there a nice way to explain that I am not able to listen to them vent right now? Thanks Kati!! ______________ MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠PATREON⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

On Ask Kati Anything ep. 202 licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about job-related trauma, medical trauma, and managing life and expectations when we struggle with depression and bouts of suicidal thoughts. She then digs into some tips for opening up in therapy, what it really looks like to ask for help, and explains what eldest daughter syndrome is. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. My question is about job-related trauma. I’m a school crisis interventionist and work with students who can become really dysregulated and physical. Could this physical aggression towards me be considered traumatic? 2. Could you talk more about how to handle life if you struggle with chronic bouts of depression and/or suicidality but you still need to achieve goals and keep your job? It's one thing to take time off when you're acutely struggling, but an entirely different one to you struggling for years on end and even with the perfect treatment (in my case, at least) still often have many hours, days, even weeks when you can barely get anything done. 3. Any tips to open up in therapy? I feel like I tense up every session and no words come out, so I end up just not talking all session even though I want to. I trust my therapist so I know it’s not that, yet I still don’t feel comfortable talking and don’t know what to do about it. 4. Please Kati talk about medical trauma while battling chronic Terminal illness & how to beat it..I'm currently in This situation..I honestly want to give up having meds, seeing drs or even eating.. I'm exhausted from so many appointments for so many years to end up sicker than expected & on top of it being treated badly due to my rare illness..I'm very unwell mentally more than physically, there's no known cure for my diseases and I even lost my ability to speak as a result... 5. Hi Kati, for those of us who couldn't rely on anyone as a child. What do people mean by asking for help or asking for support? What would it mean if I asked for help? What could someone do to help make it better? What are the options? As a child, I have learnt that if I freeze, it will work itself out. But if I were to stand up, I would get hurt... 6. I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on "eldest daughter syndrome". Is this something that can happen even if your parents weren't uninvolved or unable to show up for important aspects? Is it even real/factually supported? MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠Traumatized⁠ ⁠Are u ok?⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠BetterHelp⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠ PATREON⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠Instacart⁠ ⁠Amazon⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton explains her feelings about not seeing clients anymore, why some of us can’t stop thinking about our therapist no matter how hard we try, and why we can obsess over eating disorder content. She then talks about why our struggles can be inconsistent, how to deal with a child who has BPD, and the effects of financial trauma. Finally, she explains what emotional neglect is and how it can play out as we grow up. Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 201 1. I was wondering if you could tell us more about how you feel about not working with clients anymore, the reasons you've stopped and whether you ever miss it? 2. I wanted to ask why I can't stop thinking about my therapist no matter how hard I try. I spend hours of my day either googling her up, or trying to find a way to hear her voice or find a picture. I feel horrible for invading her privacy, but no matter what I do I can't seem to stop. Even though I find the same things online every time I search her up, I still continue to do it for hours hoping to find something new. Afterwards I feel extremely guilty and I can't sleep, and I want to punish myself... 3. I would love some feedback on why I seem to obsess over eating disorder content. Lately I have been obsessed with books, movies, & videos about EDs. I have gone through several periods like this in the past (the obsession seems to only last for like a week each time). I can’t seem to focus on anything else, which makes it hard for me to concentrate at work & to talk to my husband about how I am doing. 4. Why do I feel like my struggles are never consistent? I feel like one week I’m struggling a lot with my ED, another week I can’t stop thinking and getting urges to SH (and then feeling guilty for always doing it), and then a different week I have breakdowns, panic attacks, and crying spells due to some traumatic things that happened not so long ago. 5. Hi Kati...this is a difficult question to ask. Almost 5 years ago our young adult son moved out of our home leaving only a note that said "moved" on it. He cut off all communication with his dad and me and has very little with his older sister. A year prior to him leaving he was diagnosed with BPD after self admitting himself to a mental health facility. When he came home we had a roller coaster year with him, especially me. I am struggling badly with the idea of never seeing him again...and am filled with shame and guilt. I don't want this last several chapters of my life to be this...I am now agoraphobic, lonely and so depressed. I need joy back in my life. Who knows, perhaps by writing this comment I will find my joy. 6. My question is about the constant worry about finances. I’m hoping this question may resonate with someone else out there. So, for as long as I can remember I’ve worried about finances so much so, that I avoid spending money on myself most of the time. If I receive a gift card from someone during the holidays I sometimes use it to buy someone else a gift for a future occasion. I often experience a pain that feels almost physical when spending money on something that isn’t a recurring expense. This is typically followed by... 7. Is it emotional neglect if your parents never played with you as a child and didn't tell you how to use feminine hygiene products when you got your period and don't share anything about themselves? MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a...

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about why cleaning can be so hard when we are depressed, the reasons we can be depressed and still function at work or school. She then discusses how we actually go about processing emotions and traumas, and why we often want to retreat to our rooms when we don’t want to deal with others in the house. She also explains what she does when a patient with an eating disorder doesn’t want to get better, and how we can rebuild trust with our therapist after a difficult session. Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 200 1. Why is cleaning so hard when depressed? On a scientific and spiritual level. This can be your room, body, car, etc. (COMMENTS: Same but I have autism as well as depression and even when I break tasks down into smaller tasks the number of things I need to do just seems so overwhelming... 2. Can you be “functional “ at work and deeply depressed at the same time? Sometimes I wonder if I’m just lazy when it comes to things that aren’t required of me. 3. How do you process emotions and traumas? I have been told many times that I need to deal with emotions and process them instead of ignoring them, and it makes sense but I don’t understand how to do that. 4. I find myself retreating to my room a lot as a safe space when I don't want to deal with others in the house. Is this an unhealthy way of coping? 5. How would you react if you had a new client who engages in disordered eating but doesn’t want to change their behaviors? I started seeing a new therapist 3 weeks ago and it’s been going well so far. I have so many things that I want to work on! 6. Hi Kati! My question is about rebuilding trust with my therapist after a tough therapy appointment. My therapist told me that her clinical “sense of things” thinks I would benefit from inpatient ED treatment. I’m a teacher and could not even imagine taking more than a couple days off because I’m sick or need to take a personal day. I worry that she will judge me for continuing outpatient treatment with her. I’m also worried that my honesty with... MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ You Can Support this Podcast by shopping with our affiliates: Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney - linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

Today Kati interviews Gabe Howard! He is a mental health advocate, speaker, and host of the inside bipolar podcast. They discuss bipolar disorder, being hospitalized for our mental illness, and the symptoms of bipolar disorder no one wants to talk about. They have an honest conversation about treatment options, managing symptoms, and breaking down that mental health stigma. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. Hello, I have bipolar 2 and was wondering if he ever felt like he had a "breakthrough" in his bipolar disorder. Not necessarily a manic episode, but a true moment of "oh....I CAN live life like this and it CAN be enjoyable". I recently had this and it's been life changing for me. I look at every day I'm alive so differently now. 2. Hi Gabe, have you gone into the hospital voluntarily or not? Are you allowed to leave when you want or do the doctors get to decide how long to keep you? Has being in the hospital been helpful or has it been more helpful to stay outpatient?Checkout Kati on Gabe's Podcast: https://megaphone.link/RVOHE7584755428 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about loneliness and why we can still feel lonely even after spending time with those we love. She also explains why we can struggle to express upset to those who hurt us, and almost prefer to turn it in on ourselves. Then Kati offers some ideas on how to better deal with goodbyes and endings, and times of year when more people reach out for help. She digs into ways we can love people who are hurtful to us from a distance, ECT treatment and its effects, and feelings of abandonment in our relationships. Ask Kati Anything episode 198 audience questions: -------- MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATES Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This episode of Ask Kati Anything tackles the bittersweet realities of unfulfilled expectations and lost dreams. Grieving the life you thought you’d have, parentification, emotional incest and spoucification. We also discuss why we can crave attention from people and hope that they see how badly we are doing. Then we dive into my thoughts on mental health care workers struggling with their own mental health issues, and why we can struggle to share anything with our parents. Finally, Kati offers ways to be more excited and hopeful for the future. Join Kati Morton in this empathetic and insightful episode as she guides us through navigating complex emotions, reclaiming lost selves, and ultimately finding hope amidst unlived lives. Audience questions: MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING... Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week Kati talks about dealing with depression and family obligations, how to deal with having past suicidal thoughts on your permanent record, and how to deal when going home causes us to revert back to an old version of ourselves. She also explains why anxiety can cause us to regress to a younger age, why positive emotions can be hard to accept and process, and how emotional neglect can affect us as we get older. Ask Kati Anything ep. 196 audience questions: 1. I’m a 25 year old male and a HSP. I’ve been struggling with depression the last 3 years of Uni. As much as I would like to continue my studies, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything. Despite my best efforts to concentrate on schoolwork, I experience mental blocks that persistently cloud my mind. I’ve talked with the school therapist without much progress...2. Hi Kati, I have had “suicidal ideation” in my permanent chart since last year. I also have “chronic suicidality” written in there. I’m also on 6 psych meds just for MDD and anxiety. When I see new doctors, I’m worried they will not listen to my concerns about anything for the rest of my life due to my chart containing so much negative information. I still have suicidal ideation but not like that specific day I was hospitalized. This is the one reason I find having labels and a “current health issues” list so frustrating. What can I do to prevent doctors from writing me off?3. I'm heading home from college soon for break, and I'm so not ready. It's like my family members are completely different people, and in a way my entire house feels like a weird alternate reality with strangers in it. I know this probably sounds dramatic because these people are my family and I have lived with them in that house for almost my entire life...4. Is it normal to age regress during panic attacks or would this be something else? It’s hard to explain but I’ve been having what feel like panic attacks but I come out of it feeling and acting like a small child, seeking comfort from things like blankets and stuffed animals. This makes it feel more like a flashback but nothing during it would suggest that. 5. I was wondering why it is so hard for me to accept and process positive emotions. Last week was my birthday and my students were super excited and most brought a picture, handmade card, flowers, small gifts. My fellow teachers and staff were super nice and I was super uncomfortable with all that attention. Wanted to happy cry, but couldn't cry. Also I have had people come observe me multiple times and leave positive compliments and just can't accept that what they wrote is true. Am I the only one who suffers from this?6. I grew up with parents who never comforted me as a child. There is not one memory I can recall where my parents held me or even just asked me how I was doing. As a 30 year old woman now, sympathy is nauseating to me. It physically feels like my skin crawls whenever someone expresses sympathy towards me. Even last year, when I experienced a pregnancy loss. Are these two things related? JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/membership MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE Instacart: https://www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast:...

This week Kati talks about dealing with depression and family obligations, how to deal with having past suicidal thoughts on your permanent record, and how to deal when going home causes us to revert back to an old version of ourselves. She also explains why anxiety can cause us to regress to a younger age, why positive emotions can be hard to accept and process, and how emotional neglect can affect us as we get older. Ask Kati Anything ep. 196 audience questions: 1. I’m a 25 year old male and a HSP. I’ve been struggling with depression the last 3 years of Uni. As much as I would like to continue my studies, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything. Despite my best efforts to concentrate on schoolwork, I experience mental blocks that persistently cloud my mind. I’ve talked with the school therapist without much progress...2. Hi Kati, I have had “suicidal ideation” in my permanent chart since last year. I also have “chronic suicidality” written in there. I’m also on 6 psych meds just for MDD and anxiety. When I see new doctors, I’m worried they will not listen to my concerns about anything for the rest of my life due to my chart containing so much negative information. I still have suicidal ideation but not like that specific day I was hospitalized. This is the one reason I find having labels and a “current health issues” list so frustrating. What can I do to prevent doctors from writing me off?3. I'm heading home from college soon for break, and I'm so not ready. It's like my family members are completely different people, and in a way my entire house feels like a weird alternate reality with strangers in it. I know this probably sounds dramatic because these people are my family and I have lived with them in that house for almost my entire life...4. Is it normal to age regress during panic attacks or would this be something else? It’s hard to explain but I’ve been having what feel like panic attacks but I come out of it feeling and acting like a small child, seeking comfort from things like blankets and stuffed animals. This makes it feel more like a flashback but nothing during it would suggest that. 5. I was wondering why it is so hard for me to accept and process positive emotions. Last week was my birthday and my students were super excited and most brought a picture, handmade card, flowers, small gifts. My fellow teachers and staff were super nice and I was super uncomfortable with all that attention. Wanted to happy cry, but couldn't cry. Also I have had people come observe me multiple times and leave positive compliments and just can't accept that what they wrote is true. Am I the only one who suffers from this?6. I grew up with parents who never comforted me as a child. There is not one memory I can recall where my parents held me or even just asked me how I was doing. As a 30 year old woman now, sympathy is nauseating to me. It physically feels like my skin crawls whenever someone expresses sympathy towards me. Even last year, when I experienced a pregnancy loss. Are these two things related? JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/membership MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE Instacart: https://www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast:...

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses what it means to have an underdeveloped sense of self, why we can stop crying when we are struggling with suicidal thoughts, and why certain diagnoses can can frequently co occur together. Kati also discusses TBI’s and other head injuries and the effects that can have on our mental health. She then talks about being a mental health professional and having our own issues, and why therapists leave room for silence in sessions. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS for Ask Kati Anything episode 195 MY BOOKS ⁠Traumatized⁠ ⁠Are u ok?⁠ ⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠ While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠PATREON⁠ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE I⁠nstacart⁠⁠Amazon⁠ ⁠Kati's Merchandise⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support

This week Licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses what to do when our medication numbs out our feelings. She also explains why therapists disclose certain information and when that’s inappropriate. Then she digs into the difference between rumination and over thinking, why we have to grieve something we never had, and why we can close our eyes in therapy. Finally, she talks about dating with a mental illness and why DBT can be so confusing. Questions for Ask Kati Anything episode 194: 1. I have been diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar II, CPTSD and anxiety. I recently stopped taking my mood stabilizer because it numbs my feelings. I just started EMDR with my therapist and she indicated that I should probably go back on the mood stabilizer because my feelings are so intense and out of control. My thinking is that if I numb my feelings then the EMDR won't work. 2. In my last therapy session my therapist told me she recently had a client commit suicide. She disclosed that info to say that she wasn't fully present so we were only going to be checking in before the holiday. That was ok, but I feel really really bad for her. That can't be easy. I felt like I should say something to her, but I didn't know what to say. From a therapist's perspective, is there anything I can do or say to her? 3. I am so thankful for your videos and how you break things down in a simplified form. I'm hoping you can do this for my question. Could you please explain the difference between RUMINATING VS OVER THINKING? I've been an over thinker as far back as I can remember. It's both a blessing and a curse! I can create detailed stories in my mind and play them out, much like others watching TV. Mostly, I find I over think on conflict as I will replay the scene on repeat. 4. How can I live with the grief that certain times in my life will never come back, especially when these are times of childhood which could have been joyful or lighthearted and instead were deeply affected by trauma? How do we heal wounds of "missing" something that we can never bring back because of the time that is gone? 5. Just wondering why I shut my eyes in therapy and whether you have witnessed this in therapy? I notice when therapy gets too much or hard I close my eyes and can't seem to stop myself doing this no matter how much I try. Am I just weird and how do I stop this? Any advice? Thanks Kati 6. I met my girlfriend on an ED ward. I'm out and doing well but she's still there and struggling. Do you think our relationship can work? I really love her. Xx7. I’ve been doing DBT in therapy and it’s getting confusing. How do I tell my therapist that I’m confused by it all and how do I know it’s working, can u please answer? MY BOOKS ⁠Traumatized⁠ ⁠Are u ok?⁠ ⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠ While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠PATREON⁠ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE I⁠nstacart⁠⁠Amazon⁠ ⁠Kati's Merchandise⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support