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Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole

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Lauren is gay! Nicole is bi! Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole is a weekly podcast where pals Lauren Flans and Nicole Pacent have queer folks from all walks of life tell the tales of how they came out to friends, family, and the world at large. Because who doesn't love a coming out story?! #comingoutpod #findricki

Lauren is gay! Nicole is bi! Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole is a weekly podcast where pals Lauren Flans and Nicole Pacent have queer folks from all walks of life tell the tales of how they came out to friends, family, and the world at large. Because who doesn't love a coming out story?! #comingoutpod #findricki
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Lauren is gay! Nicole is bi! Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole is a weekly podcast where pals Lauren Flans and Nicole Pacent have queer folks from all walks of life tell the tales of how they came out to friends, family, and the world at large. Because who doesn't love a coming out story?! #comingoutpod #findricki




Episode 57: NiK Kacy

We go deeper into gender than ever before when we're joined by footwear and accessories designer and trans/non-binary activist, NiK Kacy! NiK started their gender-free company because they were tired of shoes being limited to the binary, so it's not surprising that this concept extends to their entire life. We get an ED-U-CATION as NiK talks about their journey from coming out as gay, then butch/masculine presenting, then trans, and finally non-binary. We talk shades of grey in gender,...


Episode 56: Brooklyn Jones

At 15 years old, comedian Brooklyn Jones (Flex & Shanice) asked her mom "Do you think I'm gay?" She then put the question out of her mind for years...until Chicago Fire and Once Upon a Time brought it right back to the forefront! Brooklyn tells us about her first date with a woman, and how intersectionality can sometimes make it feel like your different identities are pitted against each other. Plus, community in-fighting, and the good ol' Straight Girl Conundrum (TM)! @itsbrooklynjones /...


Episode 55: Shantell Yasmine Abeydeera

Shantell Yasmine Abeydeera (Girls Like Magic) grew up in Australia to very religious Sri Lankan parents, and felt tremendous pressure to meet their expectations. Yaz details her difficult but inspiring story, speaking candidly on toxic relationships and substance abuse ("It's incredible that I'm alive"). She shares how she came to love herself and her sexual identity, and how she's learned to cultivate a peaceful relationship with her mother. Also: Yaz's pizza theory! IG:...


Episode 54: Kirsten Vangsness

We're closing out Pride Month with a FANTASTIC episode featuring Kirsten Vangsness of Criminal Minds! Kirsten is *incredibly* open and hilarious while discussing her journey and insecurities about the "validity" of her queerness. We tackle such topics as shame, the intricacies of bisexuality, internalized homophobia, and all the ways in which we worry that we're "bad queers." Also, a play-by-play of girl/girl sex, and a...unique take on the "Two Wolves Inside You" proverb. @kirstenvangsness...


Episode 53: Dot-Marie Jones

Glee's Dot-Marie Jones has always been 100% authentically herself. To that end, she didn't have a big defining moment regarding her sexuality; "it just was." Dot talks about how being bullied in school informed the way she moves through the world, and how playing Coach Beiste allowed her to represent the underrepresented in more ways than one. She also tells the story of how she met her wife, which will make you UNEQUIVOCALLY BELIEVE IN FATE! Plus: arm wrestling in Moscow! Follow Dot at...


Episode 52: Carolyn Bergier

It's a podcaster spectacular when we're joined by Carolyn Bergier, co-host of the podcast Dyking Out! Carolyn's story includes Catholic "sex-ed," a formative moment on a waterbed, and a job at the queerest movie theater EVER. We also discuss the deep attachment that many parents have to gender roles, and the discomfort they experience when those roles are upended. Plus, Lauren asks Carolyn's advice on femme/femme dating! Follow @TGICarolyn and @DykingOut, and check out and...


Episode 51: Amber's Closet

We're so excited to be kicking off Pride with host, actor, and activist Amber Whittington of YouTube's Amber's Closet and Season 2 of Girls Like Magic! Amber was one of the only WOC at her Catholic high school, so when she realized she was gay, it seemed like coming out would be a lot of added pressure to carry. Amber talks about what lead her to ultimately be so open and vocal about who she is, a journey that involves basketball, Jada Pinkett, and a *surprising* number of massages! IG:...


Episode 50: Amanda Deibert

TV/comic book writer Amanda Deibert grew up in an extremist Christian family/community in the Deep South, where it took her a while to figure out "that lesbians were even a thing." Despite the trauma of losing her mother at 14 and getting kicked out of her stepparents' house, Amanda eventually landed at a high school where she found her people. Her incredibly inspiring story covers such hits as sleepovers, trying super-hard to be bisexual, Harry Potter, and a sexy foreign exchange...


Episode 49: Kelsey O’Regan

When BIFL writer Kelsey O’Regan realized in college that she was bi (cheers, Glee!), she assumed that was her coming out story. In the past year, however, Kelsey has come to understand that she's also asexual, and a whole new journey has been unfolding for her. Kelsey is our first ace-identified guest, and we cover A LOT! Anxiety, Christianity, the lack of ace representation, the way that sex functions in relationships, the hyper-sexualization of culture and media...and Isabella...


Episode 48: CB Lee

CB Lee is the author of the young adult sci-fi series Sidekick Squad, so it's no surprise that the sci-fi genre played a central role in her own coming out as bisexual. CB shares how she writes her books for "16-year-old me," and talks about the power of seeing yourself represented in media. We discuss the parallels between queerness and superhero stories, and delve deep into mental health/suicide prevention. Also: #stillawerewolf Follow CB at @cblee_cblee, and check out her books at...


Episode 47: Brendan Scannell

Actor/comedian Brendan Scannell of Heathers and the new Netflix series, Bonding, joins us today, and we talk BDSM for the first time on the pod! Brendan discusses overcoming his fear that expressing his femininity would make him unattractive to other men, and spills everything about his "Gay Rumspringa" (don't get too excited; it was in the 7th grade). Also, first loves, The Prince and Me, and a Christmas wish list that is...very advanced for a 9-year-old. IG: @bscan / Twitter:...


Episode 46: Aunt Renee!

It's a special family episode when we're joined by Nicole's Aunt Renee! Renee Kasman came out nearly 45 years ago, and some of the incredible highlights from her story include being a queer woman in 1970's NYC, and taking the state of Tennessee to court with Nicole's Aunt Nina! She also shares a foolproof answer to the age-old question, "Which one of you is the man?", and we do a cringe-worthy reading from a 1958 book Renee was given as a child on the dangers of "female homosexuality."...


Episode 45: Dalila Ali Rajah

In this can't-miss episode, we sit down with wise and wonderful actress/writer/storyteller/healer Dalila Ali Rajah! Dalila didn't discover her attraction to women until she was in her mid-twenties and in a serious relationship with a man, but when she went there...she went BOLDLY. Dalila details her years-long journey as we take a DEEP dive into polyamory, bisexuality, motherhood, and gender. Also, Nicole has a second coming out of her own...! Follow @dalilaalirajah everywhere /...


Episode 44: Briana Venskus LIVE AT CLEXACON!

In our first LIVE episode, we talk to BRIANA VENSKUS at CLEXACON - OMG! Briana grew up in North Carolina with very accepting parents, but in an environment where she was otherwise "pounded with religion." She discusses dating her first girlfriend at 13, tells another coming out story without which her own wouldn't be complete, and explains how leading with empathy and kindness has always served her well. We also take questions from the audience, and Briana shares the greatest breakup line of...


Episode 43: Team Jamber

It's our first-ever COUPLES EPISODE! Jill and Amber Rivera (BIFL creative team) both identify as pansexual, but because they're in a female/female relationship, most people unwittingly assume they're gay (silly people...). We discuss erasure/visibility, and Team Jamber tells us how their individual coming out journeys merged together a few years back, and why chosen family is so important. We also talk fan fiction, since we have a REAL LIFE SHIP on the pod today, people! Trailer at...


Episode 42: Henry Epstein

Comic Henry Epstein (Portland Queer Comedy Festival) came out as gay at 13, but it wasn't until coming out as non-binary that the "celebratory missing piece" of their story fell into place. Henry tells us the ways in which body dysmorphia informed their relationship with gender, and discusses what it's like to be a non-binary person with male presenting privilege. We also talk code switching, tackle the semantics of "you guys" and "dude," and mourn the disappearance of Nicole's ass...


Episode 41: JD Barton

JD Barton is a doctoral student in clinical psychology, and our very first guest whose coming out story involves a CELEBRITY! (...But not like that.) JD's methods of dealing with his sexuality included becoming super-religious as a child, and later crafting the personality of the "hilariously-sassy-but-totally-desexualized-gay-guy!" in high school. He also talks volunteering for The Trevor Project, gives insider tips on how to find cheap mental health resources, and makes us...


Episode 40: Martha Marion

Actor/writer/VO artist Martha Marion comes to us right smack in the middle of her coming out process! Martha always preferred queer spaces and queer community, to the point where she really felt like it would make more sense if she was gay. But she was never attracted to another woman until her early 30s, when she met someone and "a switch flipped." We discuss fear of appropriation and "not being queer enough," as well as the magic and wonder of Gay Puberty (TM). Also: ten alternate terms...


Episode 39: Michael Sasaki

Growing up, actor Michael Sasaki (BIFL; Kidding; S.W.A.T.) was a competitive figure skater and the kind of guy who "always had a girlfriend." Michael discusses finding his truth by way of the Robinsons-May catalog, mistaking club culture for gay culture early on in his journey, and coming to terms with the fact that his Japanese heritage might be somewhat in conflict with his sexuality. Plus, puka shells and spiky hair - must be an early 2000's coming out! Follow Michael on Instagram at...


Episode 38: Jo Lampert

We're joined this week by Nicole's bestie and our first "dyke"-identified guest, Jo Lampert (Transparent; Orange Is The New Black)! Jo is a force of nature, and our conversation with her spans a mistaken claim of asexuality, the knee touch under the table that changed everything, and the years-long evolution that allowed Jo to finally be "visible and vulnerable in love and in sex." Also covered: humping! See Jo in Season 6 of OITNB and the series finale of Transparent, and check out...