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Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Health & Wellness Podcasts

Ready for practical and positive perspectives on conflict? Join host Jane Beddall, M.A., J.D., to explore ways to preserve and restore harmony by preventing or limiting conflicts that may damage valued relationships and to effectively resolve those that may occur. We will talk about elephants in the room, expanding pies, the problem with cookie cutters, and much more. If you don’t know what those things mean, you will enjoy learning about them. If you do know them, you will be able to expand your understanding with some new points of view to consider. Would you like to learn more about Jane and her 30-year fascination with conflict, her work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach? Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Please visit https://www.dovetailresolutions.com/ or https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/, or start a conversation at jb@dovetailresolutions.com!

Location:

United States

Description:

Ready for practical and positive perspectives on conflict? Join host Jane Beddall, M.A., J.D., to explore ways to preserve and restore harmony by preventing or limiting conflicts that may damage valued relationships and to effectively resolve those that may occur. We will talk about elephants in the room, expanding pies, the problem with cookie cutters, and much more. If you don’t know what those things mean, you will enjoy learning about them. If you do know them, you will be able to expand your understanding with some new points of view to consider. Would you like to learn more about Jane and her 30-year fascination with conflict, her work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach? Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Please visit https://www.dovetailresolutions.com/ or https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/, or start a conversation at jb@dovetailresolutions.com!

Language:

English

Contact:

2038871160


Episodes

WAIT: Why Am I Talking?

3/27/2024
Terry Teale, my most recent guest, mentioned a useful concept: the WAIT idea. That’s W. A. I. T. A very handy and easy to understand acronym. It stands for Why Am I Talking? We can take a little time, be comfortable with silence – even if only briefly – and think before speaking. Will my contribution to a discussion be relevant? Helpful? Is now the right time? Am I the right person? Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:51

Terry Teale on “The Art of Mediation”

3/20/2024
Terry Teale visits the show this week. Terry is the co-author, along with Michael Fraidenburg, of "The Art of Mediation, Key Skills for New Mediators: Exploring Challenges, Growth, and Success in Mediation". We talk about viewing mediation as charting the course to positive change, golden questions, and understanding risk. You can learn more about their work and the book here: https://www.theartofmediation.org/ You will also find free access to a chapter! Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:26:06

Practicing pause behaviors

3/13/2024
In our conversation about dealing with mercurial people, especially bosses, John Volturo (my most recent guest) shared insights about what to do to regulate yourself when you realize that you should take a pause before you are entangled in disagreement, or once you are. Pause behaviors can engage different parts of the body and different senses: eyes, ears, lungs, hands, and scents. It’s important to find what works for you, not someone else. Try out a few possibilities and then practice them, so you are ready when you need them. To learn more about John Volturo’s work and to contact him, send him a message through LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnvolturo/. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:11

Revisiting vs. ruminating

3/6/2024
When we have been involved in an unpleasant conflict with a person or people important to us, it’s not surprising if our thoughts return to a specific event or time period. Ruminating is running the same negative thoughts through your mind over and over. You don’t serve yourself well by ruminating and you don’t help the relationship, either. The same persistent negative thoughts, often self-critical, do nothing to address the conflict. By revisiting the situation in your mind, you could focus on what could have gone better. You could try to find insights that would lead to a productive conversation about the past situation or prevent a similar problem occurring in the future. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:03:55

John Volturo on dealing with mercurial people

2/28/2024
John Volturo, an executive coach, joins me to talk about dealing with mercurial people, especially bosses. John also offers insights on pause behaviors, empathy and why gossip is not always a bad thing. To learn more about his work and to contact John send him a message through LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnvolturo/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:26:31

Applying the Johari Window model

2/21/2024
Last week, I talked about the general idea of the Johari Window Model. How do the four quadrants of the Open Area, the Blind Area, the Hidden Area, and the Unknown Area work? Full credit here to a website called HelpfulProfessor.com.: https://helpfulprofessor.com/johari-window-examples/ I encourage listeners to check out their Harry Potter example – better than any that I could create. With that small bit of explanation, you can consider how the Johari Window Model could serve you.If you are thinking about using it as a team exercise, there is lots of advice online, including on the MindTools.com website: https://www.mindtools.com/au7v71d/the-johari-window Less formally, you could consider how your life and self-awareness fit in the Johari Window Model. How could you expand the Open Area? In ways that feel right to you. Do you want to shrink your Hidden Area? In what ways? Would you like to invite informal feedback to address your Blind Area? And, finally, are you open to the possibilities that the Unknown Area may offer, now and in the future. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:55

Understanding the Johari Window model

2/14/2024
The Johari Window model is a visual framework, with four quadrants. Its goal is to improve self-awareness, including understanding your conscious and unconscious biases. The model is typically used in some sort of team setting. The workplace is the most obvious application. Extended families, too, often work together in some sense – to share time and resources. Next time a focus on putting the model into use. These websites offer particularly helpful information on the model: https://www.mindtools.com/au7v71d/the-johari-window and https://www.selfawareness.org.uk/2022/09/25/understanding-the-johari-window-model/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:47

David Gage on partnership charters

2/7/2024
David Gage visits the show to talk about the work that flows from the concept spelled out in his book, The Partnership Charter: How to Start Out Right With Your New Business Partnership (or Fix the One You’re In). The Charter goes beyond legal themes to help partners discover, discuss, and document just how they want their partnership to work. You can learn more about the book and the process that David and his associates use to assist partners here: https://www.PartnershipCharter.com . David also invites listeners with questions to call him at 703.465.1262. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Duration:00:25:45

Doing what you can and then moving on

1/31/2024
It’s a two-step process. And the second part might be the more important. Before you move on, do what you can to improve the situation. Resolve the conflict, on your own or with professional help. Or, if that is not possible, perhaps you can mitigate it. Or perhaps just open some eyes and minds. Then, know you did what you could. And move on with your life. Not slamming doors and also not getting stuck in the doorway. My most recent guest talked about moving on as part of a specific process to address simple unconscious bias in the workplace. Listen here: https://bit.ly/3vDo04Ghttps://bit.ly/3vDo04G “Buki Mosaku on navigating unconscious bias” Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. For LinkedIn posts

Duration:00:03:45

The power of cumulative effect

1/24/2024
The power of the cumulative effect is often overlooked and underestimated. Microaggressions are an excellent example of the power of the cumulative effect: the ongoing repetition of the indignities has an impact greater than one or two. My most recent guest mentioned them when discussing unconscious bias. https://bit.ly/3vDo04G “Buki Mosaku on navigating unconscious bias” I previously talked about understanding what microaggressions are and what to do about them.https://bit.ly/3e4u7QW “What are microaggressions” and https://bit.ly/2DkVppq “What to do about microaggressions”. The negative power of the cumulative effect can show up in other ways, too. For example, in an extended family, a collection of subtle comments, gestures, or other actions can add up to a feeling of a lack of respect, dismissal, and humiliation. Simple positive words and gestures have impact, as well. We can be more aware of the cumulative effect. Noticing small negative words and actions we might be delivering. Appreciating that they do matter as they add up. And on the positive side, we can look for opportunities to encourage, support, and thank. Then watch the cumulative effect of what we say and do build and build in a good way. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:37

Buki Mosaku on navigating unconscious bias

1/17/2024
Buki Mosaku is the author of “I Don’t Understand: Navigating Unconscious Bias in the Workplace”. We discuss the inevitability of unconscious bias in the workplace and recognizing that it isn’t always a one-way street. We talk about simple and complex unconscious bias: how to think about bias and concrete steps for each of us to take to address it. Most specifically: using the simple phrase, “I don’t understand?”, delivered as a question, to start a conversation about bias. You can learn more about his work and the book here: https://bukimosaku.com/. His bias navigation test is free and available here:https://navigatingbias.scoreapp.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:30:00

Applying The Platinum Rule in end-of life situations

1/10/2024
The well-known Golden Rule can fall short when applied in end-of-life situations. A research article makes the case for The Platinum Rule. The Platinum Rule: A New Standard for Person-Centered Care, by Harvey Max Chochinov, OC, PhD, MD, FRCPC : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9145569/ “The Platinum Rule, which would have us consider—doing unto patients as they would want done unto themselves—offers a standard that is more likely to result in treatment decisions that are consistent with patients' personal needs and objectives.” Those of us who are not medical professionals have our own opportunities here. First, tell your family what you want! Second, if we know that we are likely to be in the position to make decisions for someone, we can encourage them to help us know what they want and not leave us guessing, imagining, and assuming. That position invites pressure, conflict, and guilt. Third, if we do find ourselves in the position of making a decision for a loved one, we need to remember to go for the platinum, not the gold. And if we haven’t done our own advance planning and communicating, let’s get going asap. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:05:50

Understanding The Platinum Rule

1/3/2024
The general idea of The Golden Rule is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Less well-known, The Platinum Rule states you should treat others the way they would like to be treated. Taking a step beyond The Golden Rule to The Platinum Rule can help us to connect better with the other person, to step away from our natural and normal impulse to see everything through our own eyes, and to be more curious about the view the other person sees. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:01

Fan favorites of 2023

12/27/2023
I hope that listeners have enjoyed what they have heard this year. Here are a few favorites: “We reap what we sow”, Episode 256, published on November 22, 2023. https://bit.ly/3Gdp2X5. It was followed by Episode 257: “What seeds will you sow now?”, published on November 29, 2023.https://bit.ly/482bl9i Jay Hughes was back to discuss a favorite topic. Episode 258: “Jay Hughes on the role of elders in flourishing families” was published on December 6, 2023. https://bit.ly/3sZCniO You can also hear our conversation on the James E. Hughes, Jr. Foundation website, where many excellent resources are available in a range of formats: https://jehjf.org/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:44

Nick Rion on creating “conflict-ready” relationships

12/20/2023
Nick Rion is a personal and professional relationship coach. We talk about creating relationships intentionally, understanding what we want from a relationship. Nick’s framework of ten habits can help set up a relationship to be “conflict-ready”, able to handle disagreements that inevitably happen. You can learn more about Nick’s work and contact him through his website: https://www.nicolasrion.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:24:37

The elusive perfect answer

12/13/2023
We can have the very best of intentions when we deeply desire the perfect answer. Most of the time, there is none. When we find ourselves with a problem to solve or a situation to deal with we can develop a laser focus, bent on discovering that perfect answer. The only solution. We can expend lots of time and energy searching endlessly and fruitlessly for it. Or we could simply put off making a decision that we actually know has no perfect answer, in the vain hope that one will simply appear. The challenge can crop up in all sorts of scenarios, from estate planning to succession planning, sharing a vacation home and many more. The perfect answer is often elusive. Better to pick a choice, make a decision, reach a resolution that works, imperfectly, but well enough. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:05:15

Jay Hughes on the role of elders in flourishing families

12/6/2023
Jay Hughes is back for a second visit to the podcast. Jay has spent decades devoted to service to families. He has more insights into how to help families flourish than we can cover in a single podcast episode. Today, we are focused on a topic of particular interest to Jay: how elders help families thrive. Identifying potential elders, nurturing them, and as they step into and inhabit the role, how they serve the family in the present time and in ensuring the family’s future. In 2021, friends and colleagues created the James R. Hughes, Jr. Foundation, insisting that it bear his name even though his humility makes that difficult for him to embrace. The Foundation’s Mission: “Rooted in Jay Hughes’ landmark Five Capitals research, The Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to advancing the field of family governance and generational well-being.” You can learn more about the Foundation here: https://jehjf.org/ You can listen to Episode 194: Jay Hughes on the Goldilocks principle in flourishing families, published on September 22, 2022, here: https://bit.ly/3QRONPj Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:32:00

What seeds will you sow now?

11/29/2023
Last time, I talked about seizing the opportunity to use an annual, or at least periodic, event to check in on ourselves. What seeds have we sown? What are we reaping? f you did check in, and you don’t like what you see, what seeds will you sow now? It would be good to think in terms of seeds: small things. Things that can grow, with attention, into bigger things. Not trying to plant a full oak tree, but an acorn with a seed inside. Start small and build. Make a commitment to try to change. Start with listening with respect. Without distraction. Without impatience. Without eye-rolls, or other dismissive reactions – in person, by video, phone, text, whatever. No special techniques, tools, or training required. Just listen. With respect. A seed to sow for an improved harvest. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:53

We reap what we sow

11/22/2023
When this episode publishes, it will be Thanksgiving Eve in the U.S. Let’s focus on the harvest perspective. We reap what we sow. Annual events – and those that happen more frequently but have a set occurrence – present an opportunity. We can check in on ourselves. We can take a little time to stop and think about what we are doing all the time, routinely. What expectations have been set in our family about how we interact with each other? What have we sown? And now, what are we reaping? And how do we feel about it? We may find ourselves reaping with regret, suffering unnecessary family strife. Hurt feelings, painful silences, anxiety, anger. If so, we can start to sow differently. We can make changes to have a better harvest. Or we may reap with joy over our healthy and strong relationships. If so, we can appreciate that harvest. We can consider what we are doing right. And continue to sow and nurture positive seeds in the future. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:04:13

Vincent Valeri on helping rising gens find their own way

11/15/2023
Vincent Valeri helps rising gen members of successful families to find their own way. As they determine what success means to them and how that relates to the broader family, they benefit from Vincent’s experience of having been part of his own family’s business as a young man. You can learn more about Vincent here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vincentvaleri/ You can also reach him and learn more about his firm’s work here: Vincent@cmgpartners.ca https://cmgpartners.ca/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Duration:00:23:50