Edge of the Couch

Did you hear the phrase “follow the client” in graduate school and wonder what it really means in practice? In this episode, we dive into the nuances of this concept, exploring how therapists balance the art of staying present with the client’s story while holding the bigger picture in mind. We talk about how goals in therapy can shift over time and how we can support clients by being curious about what’s beneath the surface. Join us as we reflect on what it looks like to trust the client’s process while still guiding them toward deeper healing. What does "follow the client" look like in your practice?

Have you heard the phrase 'The worst person you know has a therapist encouraging and validating their behaviour'? In this episode, we tackle a tricky line in therapy-- when compassion tips into complicity in a client's harmful, toxic, or otherwise unkind behaviour. We talk about the skill and risk involved in calling clients in when they’re not acting in alignment with their own or our shared ethics. We reflect on our own struggles and strategies for working with clients who might be stuck in what some might label as 'arrogance' or 'a victim mentality'— a phrase with terrible, belittling connotations, but it points to something real when clients can’t see the whole picture. We explore when a therapist should be more active versus more passive in holding clients accountable and how we help them orient toward change. Do you tend to confront or hold back too much? How can we support clients to break out of black-and-white thinking for their own benefit and the people around them?

In this special episode, we watch and react to our first recording together, before Edge of the Couch, an unpublished episode of a podcast that would never be: 'Reel Therapy Talk' where we would talk about pop culture from the perspective of therapists. On April 6, 2020, we recorded our first and only episode. Love is Blind was having a cultural moment, and it inspired us to talk about the reality show characters, Jessica and Marc. In 2024, our rewatch brings up tender and surprising feelings. We laugh at ourselves, and compare our lives from then to now. Let us know what you think! **Follow us on Patreon to view this episode in video format.** www.patreon.com/edgeofthecouch

In this special episode, Bhupie Dulay and Abby Chow come on the podcast to talk about how we can rather than rely on the reductionist approach to working with clients with marginalized identities, radically reimagine what relationality looks like in relationships inside and outside the therapy room. We talk about what it means to practice hope, how our work is essentially about love, and the immense responsibility and power we have as therapists. To learn more about their upcoming summit, Leaning into Liberatory Practice: Bringing Love + Relationality Back Into Therapy, visit www.reflectingonjustice.com/summit.

In this episode, we talk about the roller coaster of emotions that come with getting "dumped" by clients. We discuss the different ways clients can terminate therapy, how each one hits us differently, and the common mistakes we make that might lead to their departure. We talk about mistakes that we make that have lead to clients terminating. We also explore whether or not it is wise to chase down a client after they've left, why the urge to email them can be so strong, and why, more often than not, it's best to let them go. Have you ever been dumped by a client?

Do all therapists engage in dream work, or is it more of a niche practice? We discuss what might hold newer therapists back from exploring their clients' dreams and share how we integrate dream work into our own practices. Plus, we open up about our experiences in an informal projective dream group and how it has shaped our approach as therapists. How do you incorporate dreams into your therapeutic work, or is it something you’re curious to try?

Sometimes clients will come right out and tell you what they are feeling frustrated, annoyed, or concerned about. Sometimes clients may have a harder time communicating “negative” things and their frustrations may come out in passive aggressive ways. But what do we do when clients are communicating passive aggressively? Do we let the little remakes pass, do we respond to them directly, or do we actively avoid them out of discomfort? This week’s episode is about navigating the complexities of communication styles and how to know when you address a client’s passive aggressive remarks. We both share what comes up for us when someone is being passive aggressive and what that can mean for the therapeutic work!

In this episode, we dive into a recent trend of clients secretly or openly recording their therapy sessions. We discuss how it might feel as a therapist to discover you're being recorded and wrestle with the ethical implications surrounding this practice. We discuss the different motivations behind recording—whether it’s for memory retention, accountability, or creating content for social media. Does the fear of being recorded reveal deeper concerns about avoiding accountability in our profession? How would YOU feel if you learned you were being recorded?

In this episode, we dive into who is responsible for creating a sense of continuity in therapy-- the client or the therapist. We discuss the role of homework, strategic note-taking, and what you might say at the beginning or end of sessions to keep the flow going. How do you ensure each session builds on the last? Share your thoughts with us!

After receiving 4 (FOUR!!!!) emails asking about an erotic transference episode, we finally had a chance to discuss the topic. Erotic transference happens in a lot of therapeutic relationships and some theoretical orientations lean in to its exploration (think psychoanalysis), but many of us were not given any guidance about what to do when it comes up. How should we respond when a client has a crush on us, wants to keep seeing us because of their erotic feelings towards us, or wishes to have sex with us?

In this episode, we tackle the misuse of therapy speak and its impact. We delve into popular buzzwords, how these terms are being used (and misused), and discuss the important role therapists can play in educating clients on their proper use and definitions.

In this episode, we explore what might be happening with clients when there is silence. Sometimes it's an awkward silence, sometimes they are contemplating what to say next or they are dissociated, and sometimes they are waiting for us to take the reigns. We share our perspectives on sitting in the silence versus breaking it, and talk about the different types of silences that show up in therapy. What happens if there are no silences? Join us as we uncover the significance behind these quiet moments.

Unconditional positive regard, a concept introduced by Carl Rogers, emphasizes accepting and supporting clients without judgment regardless of what the client says or does. We have thoughts!

What do you do when a client describes a traumatic experience, but then proceeds to shrug it off? In this episode, we explore what might be going on when clients dismiss what we gather are traumatic experiences. We discuss possible reasons behind this phenomenon, including denial, dissociation, or simply seeing it as common and therefore, normal and not worth discussing. We use examples like Alec Baldwin's 2007 voicemail to his daughter and an anecdote about Gabor Mate. This conversation mostly focuses on developmental or relational trauma, and so, there are a few points where we have trouble finding the words to talk about it! These experiences can be so beyond language. Join us as we wade into the complexities of working with trauma when the client isn't quite naming it as trauma.

Now, we don’t believe that clients can be “too emotional” but many clients come to therapy with narratives around emotion that may make them feel that they are being too much when they are emotional in session - crying is a weakness, anger is a bad emotion, I’m a cry baby, stoicism is best etc. As clinicians we have to sit with the full spectrum of emotionality from clients, but we can sometimes be shocked by our own reactions to client emotional expressions (and many programs don’t specifically train clinicians for sitting with big feelings). We also have to be aware of our own beliefs about feelings. Do we think that there is such a thing as too much crying? How do we feel when we are sitting with someone who is extremely angry? Is anger a bad thing or a good thing, in our opinion? How can we feel regulated and balanced when clients may be swinging more wildly?

This week, we talk about therapist enmeshment - what it is, how it happens, and what therapists can do to ensure they have appropriate boundaries with clients. For this conversation, we’re placing the context at the feet of the therapists and exploring how some therapy practices and some therapists encourage emotional enmeshment with clients. We talk about how over-identification with a client (we’ve experienced the same things so we must feel the same way), lack of energetic and relational boundaries, and making clients feel that we are dependent on them getting well all muddy the waters of therapy. We also talk about what happens when clients feel that they owe their therapists something (I have to seem okay or my therapist will feel bad about themselves) or when they feel that have to edit the content of their sessions out of worry of burdening the client. Even when we share identities with a client, they have had their own experience or life that is fully separate from us and it’s vital that we have a clear sense of where we end and clients begin. We have to be able to be present with clients without inserting ourselves energetically in their personal psychic space. This is a doozy of a topic but super energizing to discuss. What are your thoughts about therapist enmeshment? Be sure to check out this season 7 opener and let us know what you think! Join us on Patreon for bonus content at www.patreon.com/edgeofthecouch or share your thoughts and questions via DM on Instagram @edgeofthecouchpod, email at connect@edgeofthecouch.com, or voice note at speakpipe.com/edgeofthecouch. We have partnered with Janeapp, an all-in-one practice management software. You can learn more at Jane.app/mentalhealth. Or, if you are ready to get started, mention Edge of the Couch in the note during sign up. Alison McCleary www.alpenglowcounselling.com @alpenglow_counselling on Instagram Jordan Pickell www.jordanpickellcounselling.ca @jordanpickellcounselling on Instagram Edge of the Couch www.edgeofthecouch.com @edgeofthecouchpod on Instagram

We're in between seasons right now, but we feel it is long overdue to talk about Palestine and what therapists are wrestling with when it comes to speaking up about genocide in session and in public. We are taught "do no harm" but at what point is our silence more harmful than speaking out? As always, we ask for openness and curiosity as we engage with the nuance about this "controversial" topic. How do we talk about genocide? How do we bring our feelings and stance into sessions? How do we centre the client in front of us and their experiences? These are questions therapists are confronted with at this historical moment.

In this special episode, we look back at the history of our podcast, our favourite episodes, and the vulnerable things about doing the podcast. We read some recent DMs from Instagram, a one-star review, and we listen to some voice notes sent in by listeners. We recorded this one late at night (for us at least!) so we get a little loopy at the end saying thank you thank you thank you, but truly, thanks for listening and being a part of our Edge of The Couch community. This marks both our 100th episode as well as the finale of Season 6. If you want more, and can't wait until Season 7, join us on patreon, where we are posting weekly episodes breaking our typical format. Maybe we will see you there!

Our penultimate episode this season explores what can happen when the content of the session tugs at all of our own shit! Maybe we’re experiencing something similar to our clients in our own lives or the client says something that reminds us of ourselves. Maybe the client experience is pulling forward memories of something we’ve said or done before. This episode is all about what to do in the moment when we are flooded with our own stuff AND we still need to be present for the client. We share examples of topics that tend to poke at our personal stuff, times when we were more susceptible to being activated, and how we have managed these moments with as little disruption to the client as possible. We spend a great deal of time weighing the pros and cons of sharing with a client when our own shit is coming up and we land on our personal opinions about whether therapists should share that or not! Because we believe in being fully present and allowing energy to flow bi-directionally, it is inevitable that work with clients will sometimes stir up our own big feelings. It’s not about ensuring it never happens but instead it’s about how to manage and respond effectively when it does. How do you respond/act/manage when your shit comes up? Any particular topics that you know poke at your personal stuff? What, if anything, do you share with clients about that?