Inspiration from the Couch

In today’s episode we talk about our experiences of being on the brink of losing our shit. We explore interpersonal dynamics and situations that trigger this reaction. We explore the difference between losing our shit and handling our shit. We discuss our internal experiences, as well as how we show up in the world when we’re in this state of mind (or really this “state of feeling” is a better descriptor!). Top 3 things we’re learning about how to cope with difficult people/situations:

In this episode, we’re giving you a sneak peak at our upcoming summer series! Starting in June, we’re holding monthly workshops (in-person and online) to talk about some of our favorite topics related to midlife. Our June Workshop is going to focus on reorienting and rebelling. We’ll talk about what is really happening to our brains, bodies, and relationships during midlife and the menopause transition. We’ll also spend some time debunking some of the messed up messages we’ve received about the midlife years. We’re calling our July Workshop “The Reckoning.” It’s time to come to terms with what’s so: with where you are and where you’re not. With who you are and who you’re not. It’s time to let go of all the shit that’s weighing you down and no longer serving you. Reckoning points the way for what we might do with our one wild and precious life. In our August Workshop, we’re going to focus on Reclaiming Power. Reclaiming is about getting in touch with your power and reawakening your fire. In this workshop, we’ll work to reclaim self, time, and relationships. Our September Workshop is focused on Rejoicing in Midlife. We’ll talk about how to prioritize fun, joy, and pleasure, and we’ll clear the obstacles that interfere. We really hope you’ll join us for one (or all!) of these offerings. We’d love to get to see you this summer!! Click here for more info and/or to sign up!

We are delighted to have the New York Times bestselling author, Jen Mann, join us for this episode. She is a Gen X Badass, and her book Midlife Bites puts words to what so many of us experience in our 40s and beyond. We absolutely love her vulnerability, hilarity, and use of the word “amazeballs”. Our conversation today covers everything from Jen’s adventures in standup comedy to poise pads. We hope you have as much fun listening to this one as we had recording it! Links: https://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ https://jenmann.substack.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebites https://www.instagram.com/jenmannauthor/

Join Jamie, Lucy, and Avery as they talk with certified coach (CPCC), Sara Smeaton, about all things midlife! Sara is a badass midlifer who offers one-on-one and group coaching as well as workshops helping women discover their power, purpose, and possibility. We discuss what Sara refers to as our midlife Power YearsTM, in which we have the experience AND the possibility to create the life we want. We also explore six truths about midlife and share our experiences of being in this life stage. This is a great conversation, not to be missed! Links: https://sarasmeaton.com/ https://sarasmeaton.com/power-years-workbook/ https://www.instagram.com/sarasmeaton/

It’s no secret that romantic relationships change over time. After decades of running a household and raising children, many couples find more space and stillness in midlife, which might both terrify us and enable growth and (re)connection. In today’s episode, we focus on “midlife proofing” your relationship. We discuss the normal shifts that occur over time in partnerships, and we explore how to proactively prioritize and strengthen the connection with your significant other. * Content appropriate for all ages and relationship stages. It’s never too early or too late to prioritize connection! Recommended Resources: Any books by John Gottman

It’s graduation season! Today we talk about our own experiences with graduations and what we can do as parents to help this graduation season go as well as possible (for our kids and for us too!) We’ll touch on the various feelings that can come up for graduates and their parents, and we’ll also discuss some strategies to help gear up for this transition.

Parenting teens is hard! It can be especially difficult to differentiate “normal teenage angst” from more serious issues that require outside help. In this episode, we talk about the typical stressors and issues that come up for teens as well as behaviors that are cause for concern. We touch on various types of support available and what situations call for different types of care. We cover some tips on how to talk to and support your teen and how to take care of yourself when your teen struggles.

In the second half of our conversation with Jessica Grant, we get into the nitty gritty of goal setting. Jessica walks us through her system for creating and tracking goals. We discuss the importance of creating specific and measurable goals, talking through several examples to help bring the concepts to life. We explore barriers to goal setting, with particular focus of what gets in the way of either making or following through with goals. We each share about our own personal goals, and provide tips and tricks for leveraging goal setting in your life. Do try this at home: Use this link. You can find Jessica on her website here and on Instagram with this link. Click here for Jessica's Goal Setting Course!

It’s so exciting! We’re doing our first interview today! Your Badass Trio is joined by Jessica Grant, master goal setter. In part 1 (of our two part conversation), we get to know Jessica personally before diving into an overview of our topic. We define goal setting, differentiating goals from tasks, values, intentions, and hopes. We also highlight the following key principles to consider as you navigate your own goals: You can find Jessica on her website here and on Instagram with this link. Click here for Jessica's Goal Setting Course!

There are a lot of things that aren’t amazing about midlife, but we actually think this stage of life kicks ass. Here are 10 things we love about being middle aged: Time article

Join the bitchfest in this episode, as Jamie, Lucy & Avery discuss the experiences of irritability, anger, and rage which are common emotions in midlife. We talk about all of the contributing factors during this period of life which can contribute to this hot emotional climate such as hormones, physical shifts, life transitions and stressors, and imbalances in relationships. We discuss messages that women have received regarding the feeling and expression of anger such as women are supposed to be “nice” and anger is “scary and to be feared.” We talk about the variability of irritability and share some of the recent things that have gotten under our skin. We also offer up some tips on managing irritability and anger. Do Try This At Home:

Today we’re talking about brain fog, which the three of us have PLENTY of right now (so it’s a very pertinent and relevant topic in our lives)! We start by defining what brain fog is and describing how it shows up in our lives, sharing stories of our forgetfulness, word finding difficulties, and sluggish thinking. We highlight some of the main causes of brain fog, exploring how many of these interact with each other. We discuss the impact of brain fog, particularly on our identity, sense of self, and overall functioning. We conclude that there’s power in being able to name and identify this symptom, and we share some strategies for how to best manage brain fog. Quoted in the episode, From The Menopause Charity (themenopausecharity.org) “Estrogen stimulates the brain, keeps the neurons firing, supports the growth of new cells and helps existing cells to form new connections. When estrogen levels fall in midlife, your entire body – including your brain – goes into a sudden deprivation state. At a cellular level, estrogen pushes your brain cells to burn more glucose, which is its main fuel. Studies have shown that there is an overall reduction of brain energy levels during menopause, which can trigger hot flushes, night sweats, anxiety, depression, brain fog, and the host of other cognitive symptoms mentioned.”

In today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery discuss the midlife experience. We explore whether it's an actual crisis or whether it’s more about navigating a lot of transitions. We discuss what differentiates this period of life from other times in life marked by well-defined rituals and a map of sorts. We share our experiences with bodily changes, empty nesting, job and marital changes, care-giving of aging parents, etc. We also talk about the positive sides of being in midlife such as feeling more settled, doing less striving, and having more space for “want to’s” vs. “have to’s.” We talk about doing a “mid life review” to evaluate where you feel satisfied in your life and where you’d like to have more fulfillment. The following questions can help you reflect: What do you want more of in your life? What do you want less of? What is something you’ve always dreamed of doing but never done? What is an adventure you’d enjoy? What people would you like to surround yourself with as you navigate this time period?

In this episode, we talk about the stories we tell ourselves. In intimate relationships, it can be incredibly helpful to notice the stories that we tell ourselves and share them with our loved ones. Often, we’ll find that our stories are inaccurate and talking about them can improve communication and trust with our partners. We don’t just tell ourselves stories about other people - we also tell ourselves stories about ourselves! Sometimes these stories can be helpful (ie: I can’t drink caffeine after noon or I’ll be up all night) and sometimes they can limit our experiences (ie: I don’t like roller coasters). We’ve noticed that a lot of these limiting stories start with “I don’t like…” or “I can’t do that” or “I am…” It can be helpful to challenge the stories that hold us back! Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about some of the stories we’ve told ourselves and strategies that have helped us to question them. Do try this at home:

Today’s episode focuses on people pleasing. We explore what it is, including how it manifests in our own lives and in the lives of our clients. We delineate some of the pros and cons of this behavior (as there are both ups and downs to showing up this way!), as well as the warning signs that you might be a people pleaser. Some common warning signs include: always saying yes, having a hard time saying no, a pattern of resentment, pretending (to be someone you’re not), over-apologizing, not sharing how you truly feel (withholding, being avoidant), and taking responsibility for others’ feelings. Lastly we discuss strategies to help us shift away from people pleasing, as well as potential barriers that might get in the way.

The plan was to take a deep dive into “time off,” but as we got to talking, we realized that it’s hard to isolate this aspect of how we spend our time. So we broadened the conversation to the ways we spend our time, with specific focus on time off, time on, time away, time in(ward), and half-ass time (when we’re in no man’s land/purgatory of time, so to speak). We strategize about how we can spend our time over the holidays, connecting this back to our boundaries, knowing what we want/need, and intentionally managing our time in a way that supports being our best selves. Do try this at home:

Happy holidays! Today’s episode focuses on various ways we can celebrate.. We explore the what and why of our favorite holiday celebrations. We discuss some of the ways we can celebrate everyday - the big things AND the small things. We also differentiate when celebrating might slip into overindulgence and entitlement. We then talk about things that get in the way of celebrating such as stress, depression, and anxiety and how celebrating can be used as a tool to boost your mood. As we’re in the thick of the holiday season, we encourage our listeners to focus on their purpose and intention for the holidays, to get clear on what feels celebratory and let go of things that are dreaded, and to be intentional about how to show up (how to be) during this holiday season.

In today’s episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about how expectations come up for us in our lives. We notice that expectations can have a negative effect on our daily experiences and can impact special occasions like the holidays. We talk about how expectations can sneak up on us and threaten to “ruin” our experiences. We discuss how expectations feel in our body and some strategies we have found helping in managing our expectations. We talk about the pressure to have the “best holiday ever” and how difficult it can be when the holiday experience doesn’t live up to our expectations. Do try this at home:

In today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery discuss comfort zones. Comfort zones get some pretty negative press, but great things can happen when we have a comfortable place to land where we can rest and feel secure, confident, and safe. Comfort zones can be, well, comfortable, but they can also become constraining. There are drawbacks to doing things as they have always been done before. Even though it can feel scary at first, pushing ourselves beyond the comfort zone can really be exciting and fun. Because life doesn’t always let us remain in our comfort zones, it is also important to get comfortable with unpredictability and the “new”. We tell some stories about when we have pushed ourselves out of our comfort zones, touch on some strategies that have helped us to manage the uncertainty and fear that come with trying new things and discuss the importance of balancing the “new” with comfortable routines. Do Try This at Home:

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the pros, cons, and boundaries around social media and technology. We briefly discuss our own love/hate relationships with social media and tech. We then explore the pros and cons of this dimension of our lives and how it affects our mental health. We offer suggestions and clues regarding when stricter boundaries around social media and tech might be needed. Lastly, we offer tips and tricks to help us keep our social media and technology usage in check. Do Try This At Home: Resources: Tawwab, Nedra Glover. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. New York: TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC, 2021.