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OTWC 027 - Jealousy Revisited - On The Wet Coast

Jealousy is a complex emotion that usually arises when we feel threatened or like we're not getting our needs met. It is almost always the reason people cite when they state that they couldn't ever be non-monogamous yet plenty of non-monogamous and polyamorous people experience jealousy regularly. The various circumstances that lead to jealousy tend to shift the longer people have lived in open relationships. From sexual jealousy to that over deepening intimacy or relationship milestones....


OTWC 026: Sex, Geeks, and Sexy Geekery - On The Wet Coast

Geekery & non-monogamy crossover in so many ways. So many of the people we've met, connected with, and sexed up have been fellow geeks that enjoy much of the same pop culture that we do, whether it's movies, tv shows, books, musical theatre, roleplaying games, or video games. You need to have something to talk about when the sexin's done, after all. Despite the chic that many geeky pastimes now enjoy, it wasn't always the case. Those of us who spent our youth with interests outside the norm...


OTWC 025: Kinky Communication - On The Wet Coast

Sex, particularly kinky sex, is still a taboo subject in our sex negative culture. We're not supposed to talk about it so we don't learn good communication skills around it. It's one of those things that is supposed to just kinda happen. We hang onto a lot of the messages we got about sex growing up and even those of us who consider ourselves very open about our sexuality still retain many of the hangups and shame feelings. Learning to talk about what we want in the bedroom from the most...


OTWC 024: More/Better Sex - On The Wet Coast

Click-baity title aside, many people would like to figure out how to get more sex and better sex in their lives. It's not a priority for everyone, and isn't required to be, but for those who are looking to get more sex in their lives, it can be a struggle. We're here to tell you it doesn't have to be. Reinterpreting what sex is can be a big and helpful start down the path to more sex. As well, reinterpreting what you're looking for in a sexual encounter can help you figure out how to get...


OTWC 023: Dating During Upheaval - On The Wet Coast

Ideally, when we’re meeting, dating, and sexing on people we want to be our best selves. We want to be feeling stable and settled and able to be present and focused for all the newness that might be coming our way. Unfortunately, circumstances are almost never ideal. Life constantly hits us with the unexpected--job loss, divorce, moving house, issues with kids, health issues, mental health issues, breakups--the list goes on and on. Much of the time we need to figure out how to...


OTWC 022: Flirting, Sexting, and Dirty Talk - On The Wet Coast

Nearly everyone we know claims to be bad at flirting, the two of us included, but somehow many of us are scoring dates and getting laid. How do we get over our own brains to send that first message or turn a chat into something sexy and sassy? And once we're in a sexy space, how do we wrap our heads around talking dirty. There's an art to knowing when to push a conversation to a sexy place or leave an opening for someone else to do so and when to leave it respectfully platonic. And as it...


OTWC 021: SCIENCE! - On The Wet Coast

Endless amounts of research has been done on the topic of love and relationships - generally focused on the heteronormative pair bonding that is the norm in our western culture. A few books such as Sex at Dawn and Mating in Captivity have been the go to tomes for the non-monogamous looking for science that backs up our choice of lifestyle. Author Brenda Wiebe has written Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack my Love Life. She uses her skills as a researcher of sociology and...


OTWC 020: Attraction - On The Wet Coast

Attraction is a mysterious thing. There are physical and personality characteristics in people we're almost always attracted to: perhaps a certain body type or sense of humour. Other times it can be harder to nail down why a certain person hits all the yes buttons for you, or what makes us override our usual "dealbreakers". They could be completely different than what normally gets you going and if you lined up 5 similar people, you might not feel anything for any of the others. Attraction...


OTWC 019: Building Your Ideal Relationship - On The Wet Coast

Many of us in non-monogamy land started out in monogamous relationships. Not necessarily because those were right for us, but because they were the default. We didn’t even know that there were other relationship options. Once we start exploring ethical non-monogamy we discover countless variations on the big 3: SwInger, Open, Polyamory. Some people have strict definitions of what each of those relationship styles has to look like but almost everyone we’ve met in non-monogamy has their own...


OTWC 018: Fantasies - On The Wet Coast

Fantasizing is big part of most healthy sex lives. We fantasize about things we’d like to have done to us and/or what we’d like to do to others. We also fantasize about things that scare, horrify, or even kind of (or completely) disgust us. All these things are part of healthy sexual brain activity. “Is this normal?” is a question about fantasies that comes up a lot in advice columns. The answer is yes, in that abnormality is completely normal when it comes to fantasy scenarios. On this...


OTWC 017: Butt Stuff - On The Wet Coast

Butt stuff! It’s not just anal sex anymore, but a whole spectrum of ass play. What’s the appeal and the fascination? In our lifetime, it’s gone from being a secret perversion to borderline mainstream, referenced and discussed in pop culture both frankly and humorously. And some people feel increasingly pressured to make anal sex part of their repertoire without even knowing if they really want to, let alone knowing how to do it safely and pleasurably. Today On the Wet Coast Flick Morrison...


OTWC 016: Sex Toys - On The Wet Coast

We on the Wet Coast are huge fans of sex toys. We have a large collection and use them regularly both in solo play and with our partners. We've tried a lot of different things and have learned through extensive trial and error what types of toys work best for us, since not every toy works for every body. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark and Flick talk about sex toys. How to find the best toys for you and how to integrate toys into your sexytimes with others. Buy Kat's brand...


OTWC 015: Getting Things Started - On The Wet Coast

Getting things started is not always easy. Sending that first message on a dating site. Putting yourself out there with your romantic or sexy interest. Asking for that first kiss. Or even knowing how to flip that switch from social time to sexytime in a dating scenario - or play party. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat Stark are discussing Getting Things Started. We'll share a few tips and pointers of things that have worked for us in the past, and where things can go...


OTWC 014: Pulling Back - On The Wet Coast

Like so many things in our lives, non-monogamous activity can be cyclical. There are times when we're out there dating a ton and boning all the sexy people, when we have the time and energy to enjoy the sexy connections we have made and will make. Yet there are other times when we need to pull back for a myriad of reasons, when time or energy are at a premium, and we need to do less. It can be easy to feel discouraged during these times, if it's not how you usually operate, but it's...


OTWC 013: Fitting In - On The Wet Coast

People whose identities don't conform to the norms within a community often feel isolated from that community. Figuring out how to fit in when you don't hew to the line of a group is an incredible challenge. Bisexuals don't always feel at home in LGBTQ community and are often deliberately isolated from it. Switches don't always feel at home in Kink community since many in BDSM appear to think you need to pick a side and stick with it. Multiracial people don't feel entirely at home in...


OTWC 012: Impermanence, Breakups, and Relationship Transitions - On The Wet Coast

Not every relationship lasts forever--Whaaa?--turns out that happily ever after was kind of a fraudulent bill of goods we were sold as kids watching Disney movies. Relationships end or sometimes transition into subtly or entirely different forms. Tonight On The Wet Coast, Flick and I (Kat Stark) are discussing Impermanence, Breakups, and Relationship Transitions. Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK @OnTheWetCoast Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts,...


OTWC 011: Sexy Vacations w Cooper S Beckett - On The Wet Coast

Sexy Vacations can be one of the incredibly fun perks of a non-monogamous lifestyle. Going to different cities and countries is always amazing, but going to different places and having sex with people: that takes the amazing factor up to a whole new level. From hitting up locals via a dating site to visiting loves & sexyfriends in their cities to conferences to hotel takeovers to full-on swinger resorts, sexy holidays--or fuckations--run a huge fun spectrum. On this episode of On The Wet...


OTWC 010: Female Relationships Part Two - On The Wet Coast

In this episode of the On The Wet Coast podcast, we examine our experiences of public bisexuality through exhibitionism and how it relates to the male gaze, being good allies and supporting those more marginalized than us in the new political climate, and the pros and cons of doing the work of emotional labour in our complex array of relationships. In part one of Female Relationships, Dawn Ardent and I discussed the complexities of female relationships in non-monogamy, shaking off the...


OTWC 009: Female Relationships Part One - On The Wet Coast

The relationships between women in non-monogamy are rarely discussed other than that bisexual babes are hot together. Women have been taught to compete & struggle against even our closest female friends so how can we connect when there are people we love openly together? And how does it work when we're into each other too? The complicated dynamics that come from sharing partners as well as the grey area that is often present between metamour and partner (something Kat's come to call...


OTWC 008: Group Sex Part Two - On The Wet Coast

One of the exceedingly fun features of non-monogamy can be group sex. Sexy, sweaty bodies writhing in a naked pile can be an outstanding experience, but it's not without complications. There are different things to take into consideration whether you're navigating a threesome, foursome, fivesome or six plus orgy. On this episode of On The Wet Coast we're discussing Group Sex: Threesomes, Foursomes, Moresomes, and the amazing orgy. Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat...