Opening Up: behind the scenes of our open marriage-logo

Opening Up: behind the scenes of our open marriage

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Nikki and John, two married 30-somethings, open up in real time about the decision to open up their marriage. You'll go on their journey as they explore non-monogamy, polyamory and what it means to be in an open marriage. Send questions, or just say hi, at

Nikki and John, two married 30-somethings, open up in real time about the decision to open up their marriage. You'll go on their journey as they explore non-monogamy, polyamory and what it means to be in an open marriage. Send questions, or just say hi, at
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Nikki and John, two married 30-somethings, open up in real time about the decision to open up their marriage. You'll go on their journey as they explore non-monogamy, polyamory and what it means to be in an open marriage. Send questions, or just say hi, at




OU - Season 2 - Episode 12 - 5_29_18, 10.58 AM.output

This week we say hello from Granada, where John suffered with food poisoning and Nikki got chastised by a random couple. We discuss how feeling emotionally intimate affects our sex life (and how we react differently to the distance), wether or not we hit our sex goals, what we want to change when we go home and Nikki shares a naughty story about orgasming in a public sauna! Madre mio!


11 - Vacation Sex, Being Awkward and meeting 'El Torro'

This week we talk to you from Madrid! We give you an update on our sex everyday experiment. John dishes about 'El Torro', his new sex toy. Nikki shares her experiences with vacation sex -- when its good and... well, not. We discuss non-sexual intimacy of the physical variety and how we fare at it. But best of all, don't miss the surprise that the Madrid park had for John! It left us laughing.


10 - We're in Spain! And we experiment with porn, mirrors and foreign sex shops....

Hola from Espana! John & Nikki have been having an amazing time with friends and family... but that's meant less time for exploring their coupled sexuality than they want. Nikki has some real thoughts about their porn watching experiments -- and some ideas about what they could do next time. John feels really proud of his experience in a sex shop and shares what toy he's excited to try out. And finally, John & Nikki share their next experiment for enjoying and expanding their married sex...


9 - Improving our sex life and the start of vacation!

John and Nikki have started their vacation! For the next month, we are focusing on improving our sex life, pleasure and sexual communication. We're sharing the results of a sexual compatibility test and talking about the vanilla and kinky things that we'll try. We also share some wise words from one of you and why they matter to us! And, in exciting news, Nikki finally found a concept and vocabulary for her to use about her proclivities for BDSM. Its a sexy one. **


8 - Can you fix your sex life with an open relationship?

This week Nikki gets worked up about the generally accepted wisdom that you can't be successful at an open marriage, non-monogamy or polyamory if your sex life isn't great. Nikki & John discuss when you probably can and when you probably can't help your relationship... and your sex life! Nikki gushes about new crushes on OK Cupid, her new favorite dating app and John shares a story about a woman's expectations that turned him off. Have questions, comments? Send us an email!...


7 - Are we okay? (Sorry for being MIA...)

Nikki & John dive in to everything that's happened in the last six weeks: visits from parents, failed dates, our interactions with liars and our sex life. Nikki gets real about confidence and expectations. John talked about his relationship with Puppy J and how its evolving. And together they tackle the big, sticky question of what to do when being non-monogamous is good for one person... but not for the other.


6 - We talk dating apps, feeling flat and how we're getting back in the game

This week John & Nikki talk about their struggles with their relationship being positive, but feeling flat. And, together, they make plans to change that. They also talk everything dating app and some of their recent moves to get out into the dating scene a little more. As Nikki says, sometimes, when it rains it pours.


5 - We make a big deposit in our relationship bank and Nikki deals with a sour date

This week, Nikki and John reconnected and found ways to feel much better and more connected in their relationship, including a wonderful Saturday spent exploring and starting new projects. Nikki bemoans a sour date and John talks about how he feels a little bored and complacent.


4 - In person connections, complacency and texting with lovers

This week, Nikki & John talk about the tough week they had personally. John shares his surprising take away from when Nikki met a handsome man with him and Nikki talks about her complacency to go out and meet people.


3 - A sexual drought and what do all these words mean anyways?!!?

In this episode, John & Nikki debate the ins and outs of all the labels in non-monogamy (polycules, relationship anarchy and swinging oh my!) and how much Nikki hates labels anyways. We also answer a question from you about why oral and penetrative sex are different, how we decide when to have sex with other people and where we hope that our relationships will go in the coming months!


2 - The one you've been waiting for: John pops his poly cherry!

This week we're diving deep into two very big things. First, and most exciting, John finally had sex with J! We go into all the details and find out how its different, how he feels after and how it affected Nikki. Then we talk about a fight we had after the fact... but its not about what you might guess!


1 - We're back from our holiday with lots of updates, reflections on met-amours and John's poly resolution

We are so happy to be back! We have so much to catch up on this episode. We look back on all of our dating adventures, look forward to where we are heading in our relationship, dish all about meeting the meta-mours (and all the emotions that came with) and John shares his poly new year's resolution!


13 - Our 3 Month Retrospective - a very special episode

We can't believe we've opened our marriage for three whole months! In this episode, we cover everything we've done right... everything we'd do differently and where we think we're headed now. John gives some advice to 3 months ago Nikki... and she returns the favor. And, of course, we dish on our biggest surprises -- good and bad. And we laughed. Of course we laughed!


12 - Dating Exes, feeling disconnected and a very powerful question

This week Nikki has been feeling really disconnected, John goes on another great date and we tackle a tricky situation: what to do about dating exes. Nikki & John talk about Nikki's date with 'the big Indian dude' and how it was different from other dates she's been on. And, Nikki shares her FAVORITE question for difficult feelings of all kinds!


11 - A very sexy weekend away & Nikki has sex with A!

This week, John had a magical second date, Nikki got really serious with A. (Yes! Nikki had sex with a woman for the very first time!) And, the two of us snuck away for a very sexy, very relaxing, very much needed weekend away.


10 - Another Big Fight... And John has a big first date

In week 10, John has a big first date, Nikki brings A to the house and John & Nikki have yet another big and very draining fight... It was a long hard week. We're pretty glad its over.


9 - Our first conversations about being non-monogamous & reflections on the kink episode

In week 9, we think back to our very first conversations about opening up our relationship, talk about the last two weeks of our dating life and reflect on what the kink episode has meant for our relationship... and our sex life!


8- John's Kink with Consequences

This week John and Nikki open up about John's kink, including all the history, baggage and how they hope to move forward. Warning: spoilers: John's kink is autogynephilia, or AGP, which is the idea of transforming into being a woman and having sex as a woman. We discuss his sexual addiction, his draw to cross dressing and submissive sex, his gender dysphoria, his challenges with his gender identity and his tough decision around gender transitions and becoming a transwoman. Finally, we tackle...


7- A tough question, kinky sex and repeat dates

Nikki & John start by answering a tough question from one of you! Then we open up about our experiment with kinky sex (it had been a while!) and finally we both gush about repeat dates. We also ask what it means to start developing intimacy with other people and how we will handle it together.


Week 6 BONUS: Do we actually want to be non-monogamous?!?!

John & Nikki ask the question, 6 weeks in, do we actually want to have an open marriage? We ask each other this question because of a comment from John, without any discussion in advance. We discuss all kinds of flavors of non-monogamy, including open relationships, swinging, kink based relationships, polyamory and the costs and benefits of monogamy.