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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Health & Wellness Podcasts

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Location:

United States

Description:

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Language:

English


Episodes

The Wall Between Betrayal Trauma and Healing/Connection

4/20/2021
In Episode 66, Mark and Steve explored the walls an addict spouse often throws up in defense against his betrayal-trauma-suffering spouse beginning to "speak her truth." In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the totally legitimate thoughts, feelings and emotions triggered by Betrayal Trauma that can create a huge barrier to connection and healing. What are the symptoms of Betrayal Trauma? How can these create walls that hinder or completely block out healing and connection? What are...

Duration:00:28:41

The WALL Between Conflict and Connection

4/13/2021
A BIG part of beginning to heal a marriage marred by pornography addiction, is for the addict spouse to provide a SAFE space for the betrayed spouse to honestly and openly express her pain and speak her truth. But when she does, it's very common (for a host of reasons) for the addict spouse to immediately throw up a WALL of self-defense and resistance. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about the walls they both piled up when their wives tried to be totally authentic and...

Duration:00:28:41

How Can a Struggling Couple Come Out of "Relationship Limbo"?

4/2/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a recent email from a listener— “I’d like to know how is it that your wives were willing and able to stay in your marriages through all the porn and affairs? My son-in-law is an addict and my daughter can’t see how she can stay married to him. She’s willing to be friends for the sake of the kids but she doesn’t know how she can stay. He is not yet admitting he’s an addict. She’s never felt loved in their young 5-year marriage.” What is the answer...

Duration:00:28:46

Can I Ever Go Back to Porn?

3/30/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve openly address a common issue they faced in their own recoveries, and one they see often with their clients—"Can I ever go back to porn?" What this means to most men in recovery is—"Can I ever just live like a 'normal' guy?" Do I have to do this "recovery stuff" the rest of my life?! What about masturbation, provocative movies and entertainment, certain sexual practices? What are the boundaries and can these change after I have a period of sobriety? And VERY...

Duration:00:31:07

What it Takes to SUCCEED in Recovery and Healing!

3/23/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve give listeners a window into what they've learned from their own recoveries and what they've experienced over many years as therapists. What DOES it take to truly succeed in your recovery and healing efforts? Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Here's a great article on the "Brain Science" behind porn and sex...

Duration:00:26:26

Defining "Slips" and "Relapses"

3/16/2021
When a couple is working together through addiction recovery and healing betrayal trauma, it can be VERY difficult to understand the differences between a "Relapse" and a "Slip." In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss WHY there should be separate definitions for a "Slip" and for a "Relapse"—why the distinction at all? How can a couple navigate the differences and use these definitions to aid in effective recovery, promote healing and increase connection? Find out more about Steve Moore...

Duration:00:31:07

Where is the line between “loving” someone and “trusting” them?

3/9/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address a PBSE listener's heart-felt dilemma. After discovering her spouse's addiction to porn and feeling the intense betrayal, she was justifiably angry, hurt and numb. Here's how she expressed it— "It breaks my heart that I have these feelings for someone I love so much. It makes me angry with myself and him. All the years of lies have just turned me somewhat cold. I don't want to be bitter. How can I get back to a place of empathy and compassion?" In...

Duration:00:31:07

Spiritual Safety and Sexual Intimacy: You Can Have Both!

3/2/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address a questions submitted by a listener— "Can you discuss the dynamic of being the spouse of an addict who is not a believer? In my marriage there has been sexual addiction and he is 2 1/2 years into recovery/sobriety but we are now dealing with the dynamic of a sexless marriage. How can we make the transition to a healthy sexual connection void of a spiritual connection?" First, we need to be clear about what "healthy sex" is and is not. (for a deeper...

Duration:00:31:07

Is it "OK" to "Offend" Your Partner?

2/23/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address some very poignant questions submitted by a listener: "What do you do when the proof is in the pudding that your partner is a sexual addict but they refuse to acknowledge it?I asked him for a separation at the beginning of Dec hoping that would shake him up a bit … He has agreed to couples counseling but is "offended" at my suggestion that he has a sex addiction. There have been many discoveries over our 17 years. Is there a way to help him see or are...

Duration:00:31:07

Great! He’s in Recovery . . . but What is He Thinking?

2/16/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address a recent question by a listener—a very honest, legitimate, excellent question— "Hi there, my recovering spouse and I LOVE your podcasts. it has brought us closer through sharing our thoughts on episodes. One thing I would love to hear your take on as a betrayed spouse is how on earth do you as an addict keep those images and thoughts of porn and past sexual encounters out of your head on a daily basis? I would think it would be really easy to...

Duration:00:32:30

Why Would the Man Who Loves Me, "Gaslight" Me?!

2/9/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about an extremely destructive behavior that porn addicts engage in with their partners—GASLIGHTING! Mark and Steve talk about their own gaslighting and narcissistic tendencies during their dark addiction years. And they also share WHY there is GREAT HOPE even in marriage relationships where gaslighting is currently going on. - What are the underlying causes of gaslighting--WHY do so many porn addicts engage in this behavior? - What is the...

Duration:00:32:20

What Does it Take to Get "SERIOUS" about Real Change?

2/2/2021
In this episode Mark and Steve speak openly about what it took for them to get to the rock bottom place where they were ready to start down the path of real change. They also acknowledge that everyone is different--"it takes what it takes." Learn how YOU can come to the place where you're ready to take solid, deliberate steps onto the path of breaking free from addiction and healing from betrayal trauma. Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark...

Duration:00:31:07

The Addict's Journey from Escape & Avoidance to Authenticity & Transparency

1/26/2021
It has been said, "We are only as sick as our secrets." Another way of coming at this would be: "Living in secrecy keeps our addiction alive." In this episode Mark and Steve share their own past personal struggles with authenticity and transparency. And, they answer some common questions— - WHY is it so terrifying to allow others to truly "see us" just as we are on the inside without the outside facade of masks, personas, guardedness, acting, story-telling, half-truths, selective...

Duration:00:31:28

How to Navigate Mental Illness AND Addiction/Betrayal Trauma

1/19/2021
Mental illness and addiction, as well as betrayal trauma, can be parallel struggles! And it can be very difficult to understand where one starts and the other begins, or which one leads to the other. In this episode, Mark talks raw and real about his own struggles with mental illness that began as a small child and how that morphed into and ran alongside his decades of addiction. Mark and Steve also discuss some important aspects of mental illness and addiction/betrayal trauma— -...

Duration:00:32:32

Should We Hide Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma From Our Kids?

1/12/2021
It's hard enough navigating through porn/sex addiction and betrayal trauma as adults! But what happens when we're raising kids at the same time? What should we disclose to our kids, if anything at all? And if we do disclose—how, when and how much should we share? And how can we create an environment where we don't pass on the same dysfunctional behaviors to our children? How do we help them to grow up and be sexually and relationally healthy? In this episode, Mark talks raw and real about...

Duration:00:36:34

How to be Emotionally Healthy as an Individual and Couple in 2021

1/5/2021
We're all SO glad 2020 is over! In fact, we should all receive a t-shirt that reads, "I Survived 2020!" And we're all hoping 2021 will be SO much better. But . . . the reality is, this year could bring some challenges even more daunting than last year! We just don't know. The key is to seek emotional health and resilience for ourselves personally and as a couple-ship, NO MATTER WHAT this year brings! In this episode, Mark and Steve share some practical, in-the-trenches ways to maintain and...

Duration:00:37:37

Ditch the “New Year’s Resolution" BS—it doesn’t work!

12/29/2020
Can you believe it--it's a NEW YEAR! And it's that infamous time again--New Year's Resolutions! In this episode Mark and Steve get real about WHY these resolutions virtually never work to produce long-term LASTING change. Using the "resolution" approach, especially for overcoming porn addiction and healing betrayal trauma, often does just the opposite! Here's why— - We mistake "novelty" and initial "excitement" as true commitment. - New Year's Resolution "energy" is only temporary--the...

Duration:00:38:32

Learning from Mark & Steve's "Recovery Ghosts of Christmas Past"

12/22/2020
This episode is a kind of "Christmas gift" from Mark and Steve to their listeners. They talk raw and open about how too many Christmas seasons over their decades of deep addiction were anything but merry and joyful! But, today Christmas time is SO MUCH BETTER! Mark and Steve share HOW they and their wives have turned Christmas into a truly enjoyable, peaceful, connecting time. Recovery, healing and Christmas truly can harmonize! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension...

Duration:00:37:18

Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Part Three: Finding Serenity in the Midst of Family "Stuff"

12/15/2020
During the holidays, "families" can be both an opportunity AND a challenge! Family interactions can support us on our paths of recovery and healing OR knock us off the path! In this Part Three episode, Mark and Steve offer guidance on HOW to successfully navigate family and the holidays— - Balancing TIME between self, marriage and family. - What to do when "enmeshed" family dynamics collide with new recovery and healing skills. - How we can easily fall into old unhealthy family...

Duration:00:34:52

Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Par Two: "Self Care? Forget that! It's the Holidays, Bro!"

12/8/2020
It's SO easy to "go off the self-care rails" during the Holidays! If we're not careful, we can tend to use as an excuse for laziness, apathy, self-indulgence, disconnection, etc., the old "Yah, but it's the Holidays!" In this Part Two episode, Steve and Mark talk about their own tendencies to fall prey to "holiday laziness" and how easy it is to fall out of the structure and routine of HEALTHY LIVING!!! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark...

Duration:00:28:38